by P J Gordon
“Never. That’s why we like working with you.” The man sighed. “What if he won’t pay for it?”
“Oh, he will, but if he won’t I’ll make sure Curt will cover it. I’ll pay you myself if I have to...but I won’t have to. You deliver Andrea’s version, then show him mine. He’ll pay whatever you ask. He won’t have a choice.”
The man sighed into the phone again. “You know I wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. I’ve got a tight schedule. If I start on Andrea’s version now I can start on your version first thing in the morning. I’ve got more jobs coming in though. I’ll need your files by six o’clock in the morning. Can you have it done by then?”
Richard, who had stopped in the doorway to Manda’s office, crossed his arms and cleared his throat. Manda started violently and spun her chair around. When she saw Richard her eyes widened and she flushed guiltily.
“Oh! I didn’t know you were still here.”
“What?” the man on the phone asked. “I didn’t catch that.”
“Nothing,” Manda replied quickly. Richard’s presence had her flustered. “I’ll have the files to you by then. Thank you.”
“Okay. I’ll look for them. Have a good night, and good luck.”
“Thanks. G’night.” Manda tapped the button to disconnect the speaker phone, and then looked up at Richard with a patently false smile. “I thought you’d gone.”
“So I see.” Richard studied her very closely for a minute. How did she manage to look so tired and wrung out, and yet still so beautiful? He shook his head in wonder...with a touch of exasperation thrown in. “You’re not getting out of here anytime soon, are you?”
“No,” she admitted, biting her lip, “but please don’t rat me out to David.”
“I thought you were just going to fix it enough to be printable, but you’re redesigning the whole thing, aren’t you?” Richard’s tone was matter-of-fact, not accusing, but Manda’s response was defensive.
“I can’t just leave it like it is. It’s for charity. It doesn’t make any sense and it would ruin the auction. A lot of people count on the money this event brings in. I have to do something.”
How could Josh not be in love with this woman, Richard wondered. He made his next words as gentle as possible. He didn’t want her to think he was attacking her.
“This will take you all night.”
She lifted her chin defiantly. “Probably.”
“You’re already exhausted. Can you do it alone? Why didn’t you ask David for help?”
“Because I promised him last year that we’d never have to fix Andrea’s messes again. Curt didn’t let me keep that promise; I had to have his help today, but I’m still going to try and keep my promise as much as I can.”
Richard was shocked to see tears glistening in Manda’s eyes as she looked up at him.
“Besides, this is my fault. Every year I’ve fixed Andrea’s messes and Jerry never really had to deal with the consequences of making us work with her. I don’t think he really understands how awful she is. That’s my fault. I was stupid, and David shouldn’t have to pay for that.”
Richard could hardly fault her for refusing to deliver an inferior product, but he didn’t say anything. She needed help, not a debate. While he couldn’t shoulder her burden tonight, as much as he might want to (and he was surprised by just how much he did want to), he would do what he could to help her get through it.
She was watching him expectantly, no doubt waiting for an argument.
“Well,” he said instead, “it’s gonna be a long night. I’ll get us some coffee and tea and then order in some dinner while you get to work.” As he picked up her teapot and left for the coffee room, he pretended not to see the grateful tears she was attempting to hide.
After forcing Manda to take a short break for dinner, Richard brought one of the chairs from the common area into her office so he could keep her company. Throughout the night he did his best to anticipate her needs, bringing her refills of tea and water, retrieving documents from the printer she shared with David, and when she got cold, bringing her the sweater she left on the coat rack by the door. The rest of the time he watched her work. It was fascinating watching her transform what even his untrained eye could see was a disorganized, incoherent jumble of information into an elegantly organized, fluently informative guide. He was impressed by the speed and efficiency with which she worked...and slightly in awe of her intensity and focus.
After watching her work for an hour or so, he noticed that she would periodically pause and scan the screen. She would make small corrections and adjustments to the text as she went. He realized she was proofreading and he watched carefully until he was confident he understood the nature of the changes she was making, and then volunteered to do it for her. She’d hesitated for an instant before taking him up on his offer and printing a hardcopy for him to edit. He chuckled quietly to himself when he noticed her surreptitiously double checking the edited pages he gave her, and the he smiled in pleased satisfaction when she stopped checking and accepted his changes without reservation.
Work progressed more quickly after that, but Richard still wondered if Manda would be able to endure until the project was finished. Her already flagging energy was taking a marked nose-dive by midnight, and she was beginning to make careless mistakes. Concentration was obviously becoming difficult for her and she was growing visibly frustrated. By one o’clock her hands were trembling and she was fighting back tears again. He knew she wouldn’t make it like this.
Approaching her from behind, Richard placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pulled her back into her chair, forcing her away from her keyboard. Her shoulders were rigid with tension.
“Stop for a minute, Manda. Take a quick break.” She resisted for a moment, and then lowered her hands and let her head fall against the back of the chair. “Now, close your eyes and breath,” Richard ordered, as his fingers gently worked the knotted muscles of her neck and shoulders. She was wound tighter than a watch spring and it took several minutes for her to relax under his soothing ministrations.
“Relax. Slow down. You’ve still got plenty of time,” he encouraged. “You can do this. Deep breaths.” As he continued to massage her shoulders, Richard could smell the fragrance of her shampoo and feel the silky softness of her hair as it brushed against his hands. In the intimacy of that moment he had an almost overwhelming urge to bend down and press his lips to the spot on the side of her neck where his thumb was massaging a small circle. Shocked by this impulse, he froze. Where had that come from? He couldn’t be attracted to her. He didn’t dare.
Manda stirred under his still hands and he stepped away from her. He forced a casual tone that he was far from feeling.
“It would probably be a good idea to walk around and stretch out a little. Why don’t we go get refills?” he suggested, picking up her teapot and his coffee cup. What if Josh was right? he wondered, and as he walked to the coffee room with her he was acutely aware of the potential danger he was putting her in.
After this brief intermission, Manda’s ability to concentrate was restored somewhat. She lost her focus less frequently and seemed less frustrated when she did. She made fewer mistakes as well. Richard quietly pointed out the ones she did make. He’d been hesitant to correct her at first, but rather than being offended by it, she seemed genuinely grateful for his help, so he pulled his chair up more closely behind her and unobtrusively double-checked her work. His fresher eyes and mind caught most of her tired mistakes. This arrangement had several benefits. It sped the work up considerably, since Manda had slowed down when she realized she was making careless mistakes. Focusing on the work Manda was doing also kept Richard from focusing on the scent of her, and looking at her computer screen kept him from gazing at her face as she concentrated.
By the time she finished, shortly before four o’clock, Richard was sure she was operating on sheer willpower, having long since burned through her last reserves of energy. He could see the tears
of exhaustion threatening to overwhelm her and knew she was holding on by a thread.
“As soon as you get that sent I’m taking you home. No arguments,” he told her firmly. She just nodded in agreement. Even speaking seemed to be more than her tenuous composure could endure. His anger toward everyone responsible for bringing her to this state—including Manda herself—surged. “I’ll call down for the car and let Josh know what’s going on while you finish up.”
He stepped out into the common area to make the phone calls. He had just arranged for their driver to be waiting downstairs and was dialing Josh’s number when he heard the crash of something shattering in Manda’s office. He was in her doorway in an instant. The sight of her staring down at the broken remnants of her teapot with tears streaming down her face was too much for him. He stepped over the fragments of porcelain and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace. The last thread of control she had been clinging to had broken with the teapot and her shoulders shook with silent sobs. Richard’s heart twisted painfully.
“Oh, Manda. I’m so sorry,” he said, stroking her hair with one hand.
She struggled to compose herself, finally managing a choked explanation. “It was my mother’s.” Sympathy tightened his throat and he held her closer. The feelings inspired when she leaned against him and pressed her face to his chest filled him with dread. He ruthlessly suppressed the firestorm of emotion and when she had regained some degree of composure he guided her to the sofa and pushed her down onto it.
“Are you all finished and ready to go?” he asked gently. She nodded mutely. Before he could stop himself he reached out and tenderly brushed away a strand of hair that clung to her tear-dampened cheek. “Wait right here. I’ll clean that up and get your purse. Then I’ll take you home.”
When he returned for her a short time later he found her curled up on the sofa and sleeping soundly. She looked so innocent and vulnerable as she slept, and he felt so protective of her, that all of his pretense and self-deception fell away. He had been so focused on figuring out who she was—on solving the puzzle that was Manda—he had blindly refused to see the pieces to another puzzle. But now that Josh’s words had forced him to consider that puzzle, all of the pieces fit together effortlessly. It was pathetically obvious. He loved her.
“What have I done?” he whispered, and numbly sat down on the sofa near her feet. For a long time he stared at the woman he loved as she slept beside him. He knew only one thing with absolute certainty—whatever happened now, he was going to lose her. The only choice left to him was to do it in a way that would at least let her survive. He prayed once more for Josh to be wrong—Please don’t let her be in love with me!—because what he was going to do now was going to be one of the hardest things he had ever done. If he had to hurt her in the process it would be infinitely worse.
Richard dialed Josh’s number. His voice was flat and dead when his younger brother answered.
“I’m bringing Manda down to the suite. She’s exhausted and she’s already fallen asleep up here in the office. There’s no need to drive her all the way home. She can sleep in my bed. I won’t need it anymore. Besides, I think you should be there when she wakes up. After I get her settled, you and I need to talk.”
Chapter 13
It took Manda a few minutes to remember where she was when she woke. It was disconcerting waking up in an unfamiliar room. Her face heated in embarrassment when she recalled the events of the night before and realized she was in Richard’s bed. She supposed that wasn’t how most women ended up there. That thought was accompanied by a sharp stab of jealousy. Manda sat up and looked around for a clock. The alarm on the nightstand informed her that it was almost noon. It had been about four o’clock when they had left her office, so she’d been asleep for almost eight hours. She groaned in dismay. She’d completely missed her ten o’clock team meeting. They would definitely be wondering where she was.
Manda was wearing one of Richard’s t-shirts. It reached to her knees. She vaguely remembered Richard giving it to her and leaving the room so she could change. That was the last thing she remembered. She looked around for her own clothes, but didn’t see them anywhere so she got up and padded quietly to the bathroom. They weren’t there either, but there was a thick, white terry cloth robe hanging on the back of the door and she put it on, belting it tightly around her waist. She dreaded the idea of facing Richard this morning after the fool she’d made of herself the night before, but she needed to find her clothes and get to the office. She’d made a big enough nuisance of herself already. She gathered her courage and ventured out into the sitting room.
Richard was nowhere to be seen, but Josh was sitting with his guitar on his knee when Manda emerged from the bedroom. He immediately leaned the instrument against the chair and stood up.
“Good morning, Manda. Did you sleep well?” he asked with an uncharacteristically subdued smile.
“Mmm, yes. Thanks,” Manda replied self-consciously. “I’m sorry to interrupt. I was just looking for my clothes, and then I’ll get out of your hair.” She stood in the doorway, fiddling with the belt of the robe.
“You’re not interrupting anything, and there’s no need to rush off. Relax. I hear you had a pretty rough night. Let me order you some breakfast.” Josh gestured for her to sit down on the sofa. He crossed the room to the table by the door and picked up a stack of neatly folded clothes. “Here are your things. Richard had them laundered for you.” He brought the stack to Manda and then retrieved the room service menu from the desk and offered it to her.
Manda, still standing in the bedroom doorway, clutched the clothes to her chest and shook her head. “No thank you. Where is Richard? I feel terrible about taking his bed.”
Josh looked decidedly unhappy. “Richard left town this morning. He had to go suddenly and didn’t want to wake you.”
“Oh.” Manda had grown accustomed to his unexpected departures. She should have been relieved that she wouldn’t have to face him today after her minor breakdown last night, but instead she was disappointed. “When will he be back this time?”
“He’s not planning on coming back. He’s left me and Mikey to hold down the fort,” Josh explained reluctantly. His expression was sympathetic.
“Oh,” Manda repeated dumbly. In spite of David’s cautioning advice to be careful—as well as her own repeated warnings to herself not to get too involved—the news that she might never see Richard again was crushing. Wise or not, she’d let her emotions become entangled and now he was gone. Tears stung the backs of her eyes and she carefully schooled her face into a smooth, blank mask. “That’s too bad. I’m sure you can handle anything that comes up, though. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get dressed and get to the office. They’re probably wondering where I am.”
“Richard called David and Curt this morning and told them you wouldn’t be in today. You really don’t have to rush off, Manda. Let me get you something to eat,” Josh coaxed.
“No, I’m really not hungry. Thank you though. I think I’ll just go home if they aren’t expecting me at work. I’m still pretty tired.” Manda turned back into the bedroom and closed the door before Josh could reply. She donned her own clothes numbly, leaving Richard’s shirt folded neatly on the dresser. When she came back out, Josh was waiting for her.
“Are you okay, Manda?” he asked carefully, as if he feared that the wrong word would shatter her.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” she answered, in what she hoped was a casual tone. “That’s not the first time I’ve had to pull an all-nighter and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” She didn’t really think that was what he was referring to though. Was she really that transparent?
“We’re still friends, aren’t we?” he asked, almost pleading.
Manda’s careful control wavered. “Of course we are, Josh,” she assured him unsteadily. He wrapped her in a firm hug and she struggled to regain control of herself while returning his embrace.
“Well, I’ll be a
round. Call me if you need anything, okay?” he said when he released her.
“I will. Thanks, Josh.” Manda picked up her purse from the coffee table and left quickly.
The train ride home was a blur, and by the time she walked through her door, Manda was ready to go back to bed. She was emotionally drained, and lack of sleep was still dragging her down. The eight hours of unconsciousness in Richard’s bed had mitigated her exhaustion temporarily, but hadn’t done much to combat the two-weeks of stress and sleep deprivation that had culminated in last night’s physical and emotional crash. Without even bothering to eat or change, she collapsed onto her bed and slept until the next morning, when her alarm clock woke her.
Manda walked onto the elevator at work right behind David.
“You’re running late today, M. Are you okay?” There was no hint of teasing in his question.
“Sure. I’m fine,” Manda lied.
“I’m surprised to see you. Richard called yesterday and said you’d been up all night working on Fieldings and that you were completely wiped out. You should have told me. I could have helped. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard, Manda. You need to take a break.”
“Well, I slept all day yesterday. That should help recharge my batteries,” Manda offered with contrived cheerfulness.
David was quiet for a long time before he spoke again. “I went to dinner with Josh last night. He told me that Richard left. I’m really sorry, M.”
Manda’s throat tightened and she took several moments to compose herself. “It’s okay. I told you, I never had any delusions about that. Can we just not talk about it?” She could function normally as long as she didn’t think about it too much.