by P J Gordon
“I have a jack you can borrow,” she called to the man.
“That would be great! Thanks a million. A few cars have driven by and no one else stopped to help. I really appreciate it!”
Manda hurried to the back of her car, eager to get the jack and get back into her warm vehicle. She’d just opened the cargo area of her SUV when a shape materialized out of the blowing snow at her side...a large, wolfish shape! Rigel!
“Richard!” she gasped softly. “You scared me! What are you doing here?”
A low growl rumbled in Richard’s chest as the stranded motorist rounded the corner of Manda’s car. The man stopped and took a step back, startled by the unexpected presence of the massive dog. Richard took a step toward the man and growled again, and the man beat a hasty retreat back to his own car.
“Richard!” Manda hissed, shocked by Richard’s aggressive attitude. She quickly retrieved her jack from its compartment and took it to the now nervous man. Richard walked a step ahead of her, eyeing the man suspiciously as he timidly took the jack from Manda.
“I’m very sorry,” Manda apologized with an angry look toward Richard. “He’s usually very well behaved.”
“No problem,” the man mumbled while continuing to watch Richard nervously.
Manda hurried back to the warmth of her car, allowing Richard to jump into the front passenger seat ahead of her. He left snowy footprints on the upholstery and she paused to brush them away before getting in.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded in a low voice. “And what’s with the attitude? Don’t you think that poor man is having a bad enough night without you growling at him? Was that really necessary?”
Richard narrowed his eyes and growled again. His ears were laid back aggressively and Manda suspected that she was finally going to see what one of his spectacular explosions of temper looked like. Her own anger flared and she glared back at him.
“We’ll discuss it when we get to my house,” she grated softly, and then sat in silence while they waited for the man to finish. The minutes seemed to stretch on for years—years of emotional turmoil on Manda’s part. She was distracted by her own thoughts when the man brought back her jack. His light tap on the window startled her and she jumped a little, prompting another deep growl from Richard.
“Stop that,” she growled back, though she should have saved her breath since Richard ignored her anyway. Manda rolled her window down just far enough for the man to pass the jack through. He handed it to her and thanked her quickly.
“Thanks again for stopping. Drive safely.” He was both very grateful and very nervous, and he turned and hurried back to his car—eager, Manda was sure, to put as much distance between himself and this lady’s huge, snarling dog as he could.
Without another word, Manda put the jack on the floorboard in front of Richard, rolled up the window, and drove home in silence. When she got home she parked in the garage and went straight into the house, leaving Richard/Rigel sitting in the front seat of her car. She sat down at the dining room table and waited.
Richard entered like a thunderstorm. He’d rushed when dressing and his shirt was still unbuttoned.
“What on earth were you thinking?” he demanded in a voice that was edging across the line toward a shout. “Do you have a death wish? That man could have done anything at all to you. Nobody would ever have seen you again! If you don’t care enough about yourself to be more careful, maybe you could at least stop and think about the people who do care what happens to you! I thought you had more sense than that.”
Manda let him rant on without responding. Her own anger was simmering steadily and she knew it wouldn’t be helpful if they both exploded. There was a bigger issue here than his disapproval or her carelessness.
Her calm silence eventually had a moderating effect on Richard. He sat down across the table from her and ran his fingers through his hair roughly.
“I’ll be having nightmares for weeks after this,” Richard said, visibly shaken. “Promise you won’t ever do anything that stupid again, Manda.”
Manda felt guilty about causing him to worry, but she refused to be distracted from the real issue at hand. She met his gaze steadily.
“Why were you following me?” she asked in a calm, level voice, completely ignoring his tirade.
Her question acted like ice water on Richard’s blazing anger. He grew as still and focused as she was. “I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“This wasn’t the first time, was it?” Her voice was still soft and measured. She doubted it was coincidence that he had been following her on the one night she did something that she grudgingly admitted had been a bit reckless. He must have been following her before, when he showed up in her backyard as Rigel. She’d be willing to bet that he’d been doing it ever since. The odds that these had been the only two times he’d done it were slim.
Richard exhaled heavily. “No.” That was all. He didn’t offer any explanations or excuses, just the one word.
“I don’t want you following me,” she stated flatly.
Richard’s gaze never wavered. His only visible reaction was the tightening of his jaw. He didn’t say a word.
“I mean it, Richard. I promised to tell you when something was bothering me. Well, this bothers me...a lot. I can’t even begin to tell you how much. If it were anyone but you I’d probably call the police. You can’t follow me around like that. Promise me.”
“I can’t promise that. You’re too important to me and I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“What’s going to happen to me? You have to get past this obsessive overprotectiveness. I honestly don’t know what you’re so afraid of.” Manda was trying to be understanding but she had to put a stop to this now. He’d crossed a line.
“You mean besides you being murdered—and worse—by a man beside a dark stretch of road on a snowy night when you’re all alone and you stop without any regard for your own safety?”
“Richard! I’m serious,” she snapped, refusing to let this argument become about what she had or hadn’t done. It was much bigger than that.
“So am I, Manda! I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but you can’t ask me to stand aside and let something terrible happen to you.” Richard’s anger had been replaced with sharp intensity.
“So what does that mean? You’re planning on following me around for the rest of my life? Do you understand what an invasion that is? I won’t live like that. I can’t.”
“Of course not,” he countered. “I do understand, but please just let me keep you safe until…” He stopped in midsentence with a frustrated sound.
“Until what?” Manda pressed.
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
“Don’t you trust me?” she asked, almost pleading. She was terrified of the direction this conversation was starting to take.
Richard shook his head vehemently. “That’s not it at all!”
“Then promise me you won’t follow me like that anymore.”
“I don’t want to lie to you, Manda, so I won’t make that promise, because I can’t keep it...especially if you’re going to take foolish risks. You I trust, but there are dangerous people in the world, Manda, and I will protect you from them.”
For the next two hours they argued themselves to exhaustion. She reminded him that danger was a part of life that all normal people had to accept and she tried to make him understand how important it was to her that he stop following her. She tried to explain how it made her feel. He in turn argued that he wouldn’t let her tie his hands when it came to her safety, repeatedly declaring that he was only taking reasonable precautions, nothing more, and he wouldn’t promise her something that could bring her harm.
“Please?” she finally pleaded. She would bury her pride and beg if she had to because she needed him to see how important this was to her. She needed him to agree. He was backing her into a decision she didn’t want to make.
“I’m sor
ry, sweetie, but I can’t,” he replied, holding his ground almost apologetically. “It’s out of the question.”
Tears filled Manda’s eyes. He wouldn’t see reason and he wasn’t giving her any choice. He wouldn’t even consider her request. Within a matter of hours he’d forced her into something she never would have thought possible. She had trouble forming the words she knew she had to say.
“Then I guess we’re done here,” she whispered in stunned disbelief. “I guess it really is goodbye this time.”
Richard leaned across the table and took her hand. “Manda, please…,” he began, but Manda gently pulled her hand away.
“I’m sorry. I love you but I can’t live like that. Please go.” She felt as if she’d just thrown herself off of a cliff.
Richard stood and looked at her for a long moment, as if trying to memorize her. “I suppose it’s for the best. I love you, too. Never doubt that.” He turned and left without another word.
Chapter 35
Mark was waiting to take Manda to work the next morning as usual. She accepted the ride. Breaking up with Richard wasn’t going to make the reporters magically disappear. If anything it would just make things worse for a while.
She was exhausted and miserable. She’d wanted nothing more than to pull the blankets over her head and stay in bed that morning, but she’d refused to give in to that urge. Instead she splashed cold water onto her red eyes, hid the evidence of her sleepless night as well as she could with makeup, and carried on.
She was a little late getting to work and David was there before her. She didn’t think she could bear talking about her breakup with Richard, so after the briefest of greetings she disappeared into her office and closed the door. Recognizing this as their standard do-not-disturb sign, David left her alone as much as possible. When he did need to ask a question or bring something to her attention he instant messaged her. It was understood that a closed door wasn’t a complete ban on entering, merely a request to knock first, but Manda seldom ever closed her door. The fact that she had, coupled with her demeanor when she’d come in, must have tipped David off that this was more than just the need to get some pressing project finished. He went out of his way all morning to respect her silent request for privacy, so she wasn’t expecting the knock on her door just before noon.
“Come in,” she called. Something important must have come up. Or maybe Curt had just stopped by with another client, hoping to catch Richard or Josh there. Manda’s heart twisted. Curt would just have to find a new way to entertain his clients.
It wasn’t David at the door though. It was Josh who answered her summons, and when he slipped into her office she caught a brief glimpse of Richard talking to David.
“Hey, M. I was wondering if you’d like to go to lunch—my treat?” His cheerful tone was at odds with his nervous fidgeting.
“No thanks. I’m not hungry and I’ve got work to do.” Both statements were true, but neither was the real reason she wouldn’t go and she could tell by his reaction that he knew it. But she couldn’t face company yet, and she certainly couldn’t face Richard. Not yet.
“Please, Manda?” Josh wheedled, but his sad puppy eyes didn’t work this time.
“Maybe another time,” she refused again. “I promise I’ll have lunch with you another day. Just you and I.”
“Okay. Another time then,” he agreed, sounding as if he’d just lost his best friend. He slipped back out her door as quickly as he’d come in. Manda waited until she heard the three men leave, then she buried her face in her arms and cried.
Part of her—a very big part—just wanted to cave in and go with them; forget the whole thing and go back to Richard. She knew she couldn’t do that though. As much as she might want to and as much as she loved him, she couldn’t compromise on this. She’d been horrified when she discovered that Richard had been practically stalking her. She believed that his motives had been good—otherwise she wouldn’t have given him another chance—but that didn’t make it any more acceptable. She felt as if her privacy had been invaded and she knew she had to draw a line. If she talked herself into accepting this now, she’d be miserable later. She’d start to resent it…and Richard. She wouldn’t be able to live with that. No, she had to stand firm now, no matter what it cost her. Even if it cost her Richard.
When Manda left work that evening, rain had replaced the snow of the morning and the previous night. Mark drove her home again. He was waiting for her in the lobby, ready to see her safely past any photographers that might be waiting outside. She accepted the ride without comment and spoke only to offer a quiet thank you when he walked her to her front porch beneath a large umbrella.
It rained all that night and was still drizzling and overcast in the morning. Manda didn’t mind. It suited her mood. The drenching rain had washed away all traces of the snow. The moisture would be good for the foliage, she noted absently. The lilacs would be blooming soon. She’d planned on taking some of the fragrant blooms to the loft. She wouldn’t be doing that now. She felt the telltale stinging at the back of her eyes and quickly slammed the door on that line of thought. Self-pity wouldn’t do her any good at all, she scolded herself, and turned to the task of getting dressed for work.
Josh showed up at midday again, inviting her to lunch once more. She hesitated at first, wondering if Richard was going as well.
“Just me and you,” he assured her, noticing her indecision. “Please? Whatever happens between you and my brother, we’re still friends, aren’t we?”
Manda relented. “Of course we’re still friends and yes I’ll go to lunch with you, but can we go someplace quiet?”
They ended up in the hotel restaurant downstairs, in a secluded back corner where they had some privacy. At first Josh chatted about trivialities that didn’t require much participation on Manda’s part, but after their food arrived he became serious.
“How are you doing? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’ll get by,” she answered, forcing her lips into something akin to a smile.
“You’re about as convincing as Richard,” Josh sighed. Manda looked down at her plate when he mentioned Richard, not really seeing the food that sat untouched in front of her.
“What happened, M? My big brother is a miserable wreck.”
“He didn’t tell you?” she asked, a little surprised.
“All he said was that you didn’t want to see him anymore,” Josh answered evasively.
“You know, for someone who’s so good at keeping a secret, you’re an awful liar.”
“That’s because I don’t like lying to the people I love.”
“Thank you, Josh. That means a lot. Now, what did he really say?”
Josh sighed. “He said you were a smart woman and you’d finally realized how stupid it was to be involved with him.”
”And?” Manda prompted.
“And that it was for the best and he was glad,” Josh continued reluctantly.
Manda’s breath caught and she looked down again.
Josh rushed on. “He’s a terrible liar too, M. He’s really hurting. What happened? Why don’t you want to see him anymore?”
Manda told Josh about her late-night trip to the airport and the man with the flat tire. When she got to the part about stopping to help him, Josh interrupted her. His scolding wasn’t as heated as Richard’s had been, but nor did he pull his punches.
“For goodness sake, try to use some sense!” he concluded, shaking his head in disgust.
“Okay! Okay! I already got this lecture from Richard. I admit it was stupid, but that’s not the point.”
She gave him a quick overview of her conversation with Richard and her feelings about being followed.
“I can’t live like that,” she concluded. “Doesn’t he trust me?”
“Of course he trusts you. He just wants to protect you.”
“Is he this obsessively overprotective of everyone, or is it just me?”
“Go easy on him,” Josh pleaded. “H
e worries about you because he loves you. If anything ever happened to you because of your relationship with him, it would kill him.”
“What does he imagine is going to happen?”
Josh looked down at his cup. “Who knows? Fame attracts all kinds of crazy people.”
“But he loves you and you’re as famous as he is,” she argued. “He doesn’t treat you like that.”
“He is a little overprotective of me too, just in different ways. I admit that he’s worse with you, but he’s almost lost you once.” He indicated the scar on her arm where the mountain lion’s claws had left their mark. “I think that scared him more than he likes to admit. Besides, I’m a little more durable than you are, aren’t I? We all worry about you.”
“We all?” Manda groaned. “Because I’m not a…because I’m not as resilient as you guys are? Well, I’m sorry I don’t measure up, but there’s one obvious solution, isn’t there?” she said in a sarcastic tone she immediately regretted.
Josh answered her seriously though. “I have thought about that, but that’s between you and Richard. Changing someone is considered a life-long commitment, like marriage. In a very real way you become a part of each other. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Look, if he takes the protectiveness thing too far, let him know. Push back. But don’t hold it against him. Okay?”
“I tried that,” Manda said sadly. “It was like pushing back against a mountain. He wouldn’t budge. He didn’t leave me any choice.” Remembering the loft key that Richard had given her, Manda retrieved it from her purse and slid it across the table toward Josh. “You should take this back.”