Friends, Lovers...And Babies! (The Baby Bet #2)

by Joan Elliott Pickart

  “That’s us,” Ryan said, no hint of a smile on his face. “A great team, really in tune with each other.”

  “Yep,” the officer said. “Okay, you guys, let’s clear out of here so the hero and heroine can go home.” He looked at Ryan again. “Glad you’re coming back on the force, Ryan. Ted must be whooping with joy.”

  Ryan nodded and shook the man’s hand.

  A few minutes later, the store was emptied of police officers. A heavy silence fell.

  “Ryan…” Deedee started.

  “Do you have your keys? Let’s lock the cabinet, set the alarm and get out of here.”

  “Yes, all right. I…I don’t think I want any pizza, though. Do you?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her, a muscle jumping in his tightly clenched jaw.

  “No, I don’t want any pizza,” he said, a steely edge to his voice.

  Deedee shivered, the sound of his voice and the anger evident in his expressive eyes causing a chill to sweep through her.

  “What I want,” he said, “is to talk. I want the truth. Do you think you can handle that for a change, Deedee? Do you think you could actually manage to tell me the truth?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Deedee did not even attempt to talk to Ryan during the drive to her apartment. Tension and anger seemed to emanate from him like rolling, crashing waves that slammed against her.

  She leaned her head back on the top of the seat, trying desperately to put aside the lingering horror of what had taken place at Books and Books, and concentrate on what was yet to come during the confrontation with Ryan.

  Her world was falling apart completely, she thought dismally. She’d hoped so much that she and Ryan would part gently, at least remain friends, although no longer lovers.

  Once she’d explained that her pregnancy was indeed an accident, per se, and that she was assuming full responsibility for it, she prayed that Ryan would understand that it had not, in actuality, been her fault. There was no blame to be placed anywhere, nor would she look to him for financial support for the baby, or emotional involvement.

  It was to have been a mature, quiet discussion, where facts were stated and accepted as they were.

  But now?

  Dear heaven, Ryan was furious. He was also no doubt terribly hurt. The stinging words he’d hurled at her regarding telling him the truth for a change indicated that he was convinced she’d lied to him about…

  About what?

  Deedee opened her eyes and lifted her head, frowning in confusion.

  Now that she’d calmed down enough to really analyze Ryan’s reaction to the slip of her blithering tongue about the baby, just what exactly had set him off? What on earth was she supposedly guilty of lying about?

  Deedee slid a glance at Ryan, seeing his clenched jaw and the tight hold on the steering wheel that was causing his knuckles to turn white.

  Her own anger began to bubble within her, growing stronger by the second.

  If he used his tiny brain to think, he’d realize they hadn’t been together long enough for her to have kept her pregnancy a deep, dark secret for weeks and weeks.

  Was that it? Was he accusing her of a lie of omission? Did he believe she’d been aware of her condition and not told him for reasons known only to herself? Well, she would straighten him out on that data, by golly.

  Ryan MacAllister could very well owe her an apology before the forthcoming discussion was over. She didn’t appreciate being accused of not being truthful, thank you very much.

  Deedee folded her arms over her breasts and executed a very unladylike snort of disgust.

  Ryan shot a glare at her, then redirected his attention to the traffic.

  Deedee narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

  There was just no other explanation for Ryan’s fury. He’d pronounced her guilty of withholding the news of her pregnancy from him before she’d even had a chance to speak, to explain.

  The nerve of the man.

  She could be just as angry and hurt about the manner in which she’d learned he intended to rejoin the police force. How long had he known that juicy little tidbit, but hadn’t bothered to tell her? That was a major event in his life, which she had the right to be told.

  Ryan MacAllister should look in the mirror to see who was actually guilty of a lie of omission.

  When Ryan parked the Jeep, Deedee got out of the vehicle without waiting for him to come around to open her door as he preferred to do. She started off, and he fell in step beside her.

  Great, she thought dryly. She didn’t have her car. She often left it parked behind Books and Books overnight when she and Ryan had made plans to leave for an event from the store. They would sleep at her place, or his, and he’d drive her to work in the morning. Each had a supply of toilet articles and several changes of clothes at the other’s apartment.

  But the frame of mind they were now both in, could very well mean she’d have to call a taxi in the morning because Ryan would be long gone.

  Yes, she should have driven her own car home.

  She should have kept her mouth shut about the baby until they were alone.

  She should never have fallen in love with Ryan MacAllister, because her heart was going to be smashed to smithereens.

  When they entered Deedee’s apartment, she turned on every lamp in the living room, waved Ryan toward the sofa, then sat down in a chair opposite.

  He slouched onto the middle of the sofa and spread his arms along the top. The closed, unapproachable expression on his face that Deedee hadn’t seen in weeks was firmly in place.

  “So, Ryan,” she said, lifting her chin, “you’re rejoining the police force, going to be Ted’s partner again. I think that’s wonderful. However, I feel I should have heard an announcement of that magnitude directly from you, not while you were yelling it out the door at a bunch of other cops.”

  Ryan shook his head. “Nice try, Deedee, but it won’t work, not this time. You’re attempting to get the ball into your court, be the injured party here as far as not being told something of importance. No dice.”

  “Oh? You don’t believe I had the right to know about your career change before the world did?”

  “Indeed I do. If you’ll recall, I phoned you this morning and said I had something to share with you. I intended to tell you tonight that I was returning to the force. Ted knew, but I specifically asked him not to inform Captain Bolstad, or anyone else, until I’d spoken with you. I told Ted you had the right to know first.”

  “Oh,” she said in a small voice. “Well, um, I see.”

  “Do you?” He shifted to prop his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers as he leaned toward her. “Do you see that I had every intention of being up front and honest about what I was planning? Do you?”

  Deedee frowned. “What is this emphasis on honesty and truth about, Ryan? I didn’t plan to tell you the way I did that I was pregnant. I was upset and words were tumbling out of my mouth beyond my control. I was going to tell you about the baby tonight.”

  “And then our relationship would be over,” he said, his voice low and ringing with anger.

  “Yes,” she said with a sigh, “because you—”

  Ryan lunged to his feet and Deedee stopped speaking. Her eyes widened, and she moved as far back in the chair as possible as he crossed the room toward her. He planted his hands on the arms of the chair, trapping her in place.

  She looked up at him, and a shiver coursed through her as she saw the raging fury evident in the brown depths of his eyes.

  “Our relationship would be over,” he said, “because I’d have done my duty.” A vein pulsed wildly in his temple. “Stud.service.”

  “What?” she said, totally confused.

  “Damn you, Deedee Hamilton!”

  He jerked up from the chair and dragged both hands through his thick hair.

  “I don’t understand what—” she started.

  “Knock it off,” he yelled. “Oh, you’re g
ood, very good. You ought to go on the stage, considering what a terrific actress you are. Me? I should be shipped to the farm for being so damn gullible.”

  “What are you talking about?” she said, matching his volume.

  “It was all there, right in front of me,” he went on, beginning to pace the floor with heavy steps. “It goes all the way back to the night at Mario’s, and Forrest’s pink rabbits. I knew then—damn it, I knew—that you wanted a baby.”

  He stopped his trek in front of her and pinned her in place with his eyes.

  “You set out to get pregnant, to get your own pink rabbit. You used me, Deedee! You used me to accomplish that goal.”

  The color drained from Deedee’s face as she stared at him.

  “Truth? Honesty?” he shouted. “From you? God, what a joke. You reevaluated your life, all right. Did it up royally. You wanted a baby, and I was putty in your hands. So damn eager to get into your bed, time after time. How did you keep from laughing right out loud at how easy I was to manipulate?”

  Deedee attempted to speak, to deny Ryan’s horrible accusations, but she was so stunned, shocked, by the hateful words he was hurling at her, she couldn’t find the words.

  “Risk. Run the risk,” Ryan said, a bitter edge to his voice. “No way, I decided. Not a chance. But you got to me, little by little, kept chipping away at the walls I’d built to protect myself, until I had no defenses left against you.

  “There you’d be, smiling, so glad to see me, smelling like flowers, reminding me of a delicate butterfly. There you’d be, with those cute freckles on your nose. There you’d be, welcoming me into your arms, your bed, your body. Stud Muffin MacAllister, that’s me.”

  “Ryan, stop it,” Deedee yelled, then tears filled her eyes.

  “Whew. Forget the stage. Go directly to Hollywood, collect two hundred dollars on the way. You can even produce tears at will.”

  “Ryan…”

  “No more. I don’t want to hear anymore of your lies. Risks. Oh, I did the risk-taking trip in spades, to the max. Want to know something else, Deedee? I fell in love with you. Funny, huh? Isn’t that rich?” He laughed, the sound a harsh, brittle noise. “I loved again. I lost again. Big time.

  “But you? Oh, you won. You got exactly what you wanted. A baby. You are happy about your nifty pink rabbit, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, of course I am, but—”

  “Yeah, of course you are,” he said, his voice suddenly low and flat.

  He stared up at the ceiling for a moment, then looked at Deedee again. Two tears slid down her cheeks as she saw the raw pain in his eyes and etched on his face.

  “Ryan, please,” she said, a sob nearly choking off her words, “let me explain.”

  “There’s nothing you can say that I want to hear. What should I do now, Deedee? Thank you for making me have the guts to rejoin the police force, be willing to run that risk again?

  “No, I doubt you give a damn what I do. Well, you can’t take that away from me. I’m going to be a cop, dedicate myself to being a cop and focus only on that. Nothing else.”

  Deedee got to her feet, praying her trembling legs would support her.

  “Ryan, you’ve got to listen to me. Please. You’re accusing me of such horrible things, and they’re not true. I Hove you.”

  Tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks and along her neck.

  “I thought our relationship would be over, Ryan, when I told you I was pregnant, because I’d broken the rules, gone beyond the boundaries of what we agreed we would have together. Friends and lovers, that’s all we were supposed to be, but I fell in love with you.”

  “Yeah, right,” he said. “You just don’t quit, do you? You really expect me to believe that you’re in love with me? Do you think I’m too dumb to not have come out of the ether yet? I believed you when you said you were on the pill, that you were protected. How many lies do you expect me to swallow?”

  “Oh, but I—”

  He sliced one hand through the air. “That’s enough. I’ve had all I can take. I’ll make arrangements through an attorney to provide you with money, child support, every month.”

  “No!”

  “Oh, let it not be said that a MacAllister didn’t provide for his kid. You’ll get your money.” He turned and started toward the door. “Stay away from me, Deedee, just stay the hell out of my way.”

  “Ryan, wait. Dear God, you’re so wrong about everything.”

  He grabbed the doorknob, then looked at her over one shoulder.

  “I’ll get over you in time,” he said quietly, a weary quality to his voice. “I’ll forget what you looked like, just as I did with Sherry. I’ll even—” his voice was suddenly choked with emotion “—even forget about the cute freckles on your nose.”

  He opened the door and left the apartment. The door slammed so hard behind him that Deedee flinched as though suffering from a physical blow.

  “No,” she whispered, sobbing uncontrollably. “Oh, Ryan, no, don’t go. Listen to me. Please, please, Ryan. I love you so much.”

  But Ryan MacAllister was gone.

  And Deedee Hamilton wept.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ryan entered his apartment and removed the gun and holster he was wearing. He wandered toward the kitchen as he unbuttoned the uniform shirt, then decided he wasn’t hungry and changed his course for the bedroom.

  He and Ted had been late getting off their shift of duty, as they’d apprehended a drunk driver and had been caught up in the paperwork of booking the belligerent man into jail.

  In the bedroom, Ryan sank onto the edge of the bed with a weary sigh, then removed his shoes. A few minutes later, he was naked beneath the cool sheets, telling himself that this time, this time, by damn, he would fall asleep immediately and not awaken for at least eight hours.

  During the two weeks since he’d stormed out of Deedee’s apartment, he’d been extremely busy. He’d intentionally kept himself on the run, not wanting to have any empty hours to dwell on Deedee and her deception.

  He had completed the paperwork to sell MacAllister Security Systems to the two installers, and it was now a done deal. He’d accompanied them on several bid presentations, the only aspect of the business where they had no actual experience.

  Having contacted all his suppliers to explain the change of ownership, the installers had been guaranteed the same lines of credit and payment schedules. The men had changed the company’s name to Superior Security Systems, and Ryan was now totally out of the picture.

  He spent hours at the police target range, sharpening his somewhat rusty marksmanship. He poured over the policy and procedures manuals he still had from his academy days.

  Oh, yes, he’d kept very, very busy.

  What he hadn’t been prepared for was the nights—the long, dark, solitary hours of the night, which he now viewed as his enemy.

  Ryan groaned, dragged both hands down his face, then dropped his arms heavily to the bed.

  This night, he knew, was going to be no different from the others. That last scene in Deedee’s apartment would play over and over in his mental vision, every detail sharp and clear. The memories haunted him, taunted him, caused him to toss and turn, and get only snatches of sleep.

  What a fool he’d been, he thought, for the umpteenth time. What a gullible, naive, vulnerable fool. Deedee had played him like a master fiddler, pulling his strings, making him dance to her tune. She was now pregnant, just as she’d set out to be.

  Deedee Hamilton was going to have his baby.

  She would get her pink rabbit, or blue rabbit.

  His son, or his daughter.

  His.

  No, he ordered himself, he couldn’t, wouldn’t, think about that baby. He’d wanted a child for as long as he could remember, but not one conceived in deception.

  He had to somehow close off his emotions regarding that baby. It was Deedee’s, not his, and he would have nothing to do with it beyond providing financial support.

  �
�Ah, hell,” he said.

  How long would it take for the memories of Deedee to fade? How long was he to suffer the pain of knowing he’d loved and lost again?

  He felt split in two, as though he was operating on separate planes. For one half of him being a cop, having Ted as his partner, was good, really great. He looked forward to going on duty, would have gladly done double shifts to keep him in the arena where he was contented and fulfilled.

  Except for one strained episode when Ted had asked how Deedee was and Ryan had snapped that the topic of Deedee Hamilton was off-limits, he and Ted were performing as partners as though Ryan had never left the force.

  The other half of him was empty, hollow, cold and suffering pain beyond measure. Ryan, the cop, was doing fine. Ryan, the man, was smashed to smithereens.

  Fatigue finally dulled his mind and he drifted into a light slumber. Deedee’s voice began to whisper in the darkness, growing steadily louder.

  Ryan, please, let me explain. You’ve got to listen to me. You’re accusing me of such horrible things, and they’re not true. Not true. Not true. I love you. Dear God, you’re wrong about everything. I love you. I love you. I love—

  Ryan shot upward to a sitting position, his heart pounding, his body slick with sweat.

  Lord, he thought, his hands trembling as he shoved them through his damp hair. That hadn’t happened before. He’d never heard Deedee speaking to him as though she were actually there in the room, her voice choked with tears.

  You’re wrong about everything. I love you. I love you.

  “No, damn it,” he said, his words echoing loudly in the quiet room.

  He hadn’t listened to her lies, hadn’t wanted to hear any more of them. He’d slammed out of her apartment, shutting the door on her and what they’d had together.

  And he hadn’t even kissed her goodbye.

  Sherry? Deedee? God, the ghosts were doing double duty, tormenting him. He’d squared off against the truth of his failed relationship with Sherry, put it to rest. He’d faced the fact that he’d left Sherry in anger and had never seen her alive again.