by Ola Wegner
“Miss Bennet,” the man’s voice drew her from her thoughts.
She opened her eyes to see Mr. Darcy standing close to her, staring down at her, with a deep crease on his forehead.
“Mr. Darcy! What are you doing here?” she exclaimed.
“I have been worried for you. Mrs. Collins said you were unwell,” he spoke hastily. “I had meant to call on you at the parsonage, but on approaching it, I saw you running outside. I have followed you here.”
Elizabeth furrowed her brow in obvious confusion. “But, sir…, I do not understand why you…”
“Are you well?” he interrupted her. “You look so pale. Has something happened?”
Elizabeth lifted her chin slightly “I am fine. There is a certain matter which upsets me greatly; but truly, Mr. Darcy, I do not see any reason for you to ...”
“Perhaps I could help you,” he cut in again. “If someone has hurt you…”
Elizabeth stared at him blankly for a moment and then redirected her eyes to the rich meadows spreading beneath the grove. “It has not been me who was hurt. However, there is a man whose selfish actions have hurt a person who is very dear to me. I am worried for her. But I really do not understand why it should bother you, Mr. Darcy. Not to mention why you have followed me here,” she remarked coldly, still not looking at him.
He moved even closer to her and looked down at her “You really do not understand…,” he said in a strangely rasping voice.
She raised her eyes at him in confusion. He stood so close to her that she could smell not only his manly scent, but also feel the warmth of his body.
“You must have seen my feelings for you.”
“Your feelings?” she echoed him incomprehensibly.
“I have struggled with this, but it would not do,” he said softly taking her gloved hand gently in his much larger one and cupping her face with the other. “Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance I have felt a passionate regard and admiration for you. You must know this,” he whispered while stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. "You must know that I… I love you, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth stared at him with wide eyes. He loves me? She could not comprehend any of what he was telling her. She stood numbly, letting him stroke her cheek and squeeze her hand. She sensed him leaning closer and heard his husky whisper. “I cannot live without you, Elizabeth. I have tried to conquer these feelings I have for you, but I cannot. I do not want to,” he paused. “Marry me, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.”
“Mr. Darcy…,” she whispered in utter bewilderment.
She saw him leaning towards her face with the obvious intention, his eyes dazed and unfocused. The panicky thought crossed her mind that he was actually going to kiss her. She pushed decidedly at his chest, backing away from him. “You forget yourself, sir.”
He stepped back from her immediately, but he did not seem offended. “I am sorry. Pray forgive me, my sweet.”
Her eyes widened at the endearment and his warm tender tone. He took her hand and raised it to his lips. But instead of kissing the glove, as she expected him to do, his lips touched the soft skin of her wrist which was left uncovered.
“It was not my intention to frighten you,” he chuckled softly. “I have thought so much about you for the last months since the ball at Netherfield when we danced together. You have been constantly on my mind for these many weeks. I have dreamed of being with you, near you, so many times, touching you, that I sometimes forget that you are still just an innocent maiden.”
“Mr. Darcy!” Elizabeth cried fiercely, taking another step away from him. She could not believe what she had just heard. Had the man truly just outwardly acknowledged having, or even worse, indulging himself in the most improper musings concerning her person? Was it that he was thinking about when she caught him staring at her all those times? Mr. Darcy, of all people! I cannot believe this!
“Do not fret yourself,” he spoke, his voice low and gentle. “I would never do anything to disgrace you or make you uncomfortable. I would never take unwanted liberties with you. We shall take things slowly.”
“Mr. Darcy, I think there is some misunderstanding here. I just cannot believe all you are saying,” she tried to sound calm and composed, but it was hard to accomplish as Darcy again moved slightly closer to her.
She felt uncomfortable and overwhelmed with him staying so close to her, feeling her personal space was being invaded.
Darcy smiled at her with understanding. “I know. I cannot believe it myself. The difference in the positions of our families is so great that any reasonable man must think our marriage as a highly incomprehensible thing. I have tried to fight this - my attraction to you. I could not remove you from my mind, my heart, despite your mother’s, let us just say, peculiar behaviour, the unfortunate relatives in Meryton and those in Cheapside, not to mention your younger sisters’ scandalous conduct and their shocking lack of manners, any sense of decorum or propriety, and even sometimes your father’s….”
“My father?” Elizabeth cried indignantly, her dark eyes sparkling angrily.
“Well yes, your father. I know you love him, and it only speaks highly of you, but it is obvious for anyone that he does very little, or even nothing, to take the reins of his family, especially of your youngest sisters. But now the most crucial thing is that we are going to be together. I shall take you to Derbyshire and you will meet Georgiana. She needs someone like you in her life. She is so shy and insecure of herself. You, my dearest Elizabeth, shall love Pemberley. I am certain of that. The grounds are beautiful. We will walk together every day…”
“Mr. Darcy, you presume far too much,” she interrupted him. “If I understand you correctly, you have just proposed to me.”
He smiled at her and raising her hand to his lips again, whispered softly “Yes, I have.”
Elizabeth removed her hand from his slowly, but decidedly, and spoke in a clear voice. “But I have not given you my answer yet. Your plans concerning my future, not to mention your forward behaviour towards my person, are too hasty, sir. I thank you for the honour, sir, but I cannot possibly accept you.”
“You are refusing me?”he asked slowly, clearly dumbfounded.
She looked right into his eyes. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
“May I ask why I am being refused?”
“There are a number of reasons which make my acceptance of your offer impossible. I am not even sure whether you would want to hear all of them.”
“There are so many of them?” Darcy asked bitingly.
“Actually, yes. Yes, there are.”
“Pray, continue, madam,” Darcy said, his voice becoming more and more sarcastic.
“Firstly, I cannot accept the man who I firmly believe is responsible for ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of my most beloved sister.”
His complexion paled, his eyes widening. “What?”
“Can you deny that you separated Jane and Mr. Bingley?” Elizabeth cried fiercely.
“How do you know about this?” he murmured uneasily.
“It does not matter how I came to know this. The fact is that you convinced Mr. Bingley to leave Netherfield without even saying a word of single goodbye to my sister. After that you made sure so that he would stay in town and never come back to Meryton. Moreover, I am almost certain that you were perfectly aware that Jane stayed in London and you purposely hid the fact from your friend. Can you deny it, sir?” When he did not respond immediately, she cried in stronger voice. “Can you?”
Darcy straightened himself, and lifting his head proudly, spoke in a sure, haughty voice. “I have no wish to deny it. I have done everything in my power to separate them. I talked Bingley out of the marriage to some country miss, who had nothing to recommend her but her beauty – a young woman with no fortune or connections but with an embarrassing family and relations. I have been kinder towards him than towards myself.”
“Do you hear yourself, sir? Do you hear what are you saying to me? How you are i
nsulting the ones I love!” she exclaimed. “And you are surprised that I should refuse you. I am a member of the same family.”
“I have told you that I have struggled with this, but I just cannot stay away from you. I…” He raked his hand through his dark curls. “You invade my dreams at night and my thoughts during day. I have to have you.”
"I am not an object you can order into your life!" she cried with a great force.
Darcy approached her closely one more time and, grasping her shoulders, spoke fervently. “Elizabeth, I would take care of you. I shall love you. You shall see. You will lack nothing. The issues with your sister and Bingley can be repaired. There is still a chance for them. I promise to talk with him. And we…” he paused, swallowing visibly, his dark burning eyes focused on her face, his hands kneading her shoulders gently. “We are perfect for each other. Can you not see this? You must feel it.” He leaned forward, causing their foreheads to almost touch, whispering. “You must.”
Elizabeth released herself abruptly from his hold, stepping back. “Mr. Darcy, I do not feel or see anything. I do not know you, sir. You are a stranger to me. How can you expect me to have any kind of regard for you? You have scarcely spoken with me but a couple of times, or rather argued with me, to be precise, and danced with me once. And this is in your foundation for a future life together? I do not think so, sir.”
“We shall know each other better during our engagement,” he tried to convince her. “I will not press you to marry me instantly. I can wait, though God knows how much it would cost me. But if you need more time to know me better, I shall wait, as long as it takes. I think that a longer engagement, three or even four months should be enough. Will you not agree?”
Elizabeth stared at the man in front of her in exasperation. The man was not listening to her. His propensity to touch her and stay constantly close to her was most unsettling. She would have to be blunt. She took a deep breath to calm herself and started again calmly, hoping to sound firm and decided. “Mr. Darcy, I do not need more time to know you better. I simply do not want to marry you.”
“Elizabeth, my dear, you cannot be serious. You must see your good fortune in my proposal,” he said this as if she had been a child, scolding her gently.
Elizabeth began to lose her composure, answering in a raised voice. “Forgive me, sir, but I cannot see any fortune in marrying the man who not only ruined the chances for happiness of my dearest sister, leaving her heartbroken, but who always acted with arrogance and cold, selfish disdain towards all the people around him.”
“You cannot expect me to be pleased with the society in Meryton. You are far too intelligent not to notice their narrow-mindedness, overall inferiority, and silliness.”
“I may be aware of that, but it does not mean I should ridicule them and consider myself too good to even speak with them.”
“Elizabeth, none of that is important. Those people from Meryton, or even Bingley and your sister… All that matters is us.”
“Mr. Darcy you do not listen to me. There is no us, sir!” she almost shouted, losing her temper at last. “And never will be,” she continued in a much calmer voice “From the very first moments, almost from the beginning of our acquaintance, I knew that you were the last in the world I could ever consider as my fiancé or husband. Even before I learned from Mr. Wickham about the despicable way you have treated him. “
Darcy’s face went red and he approached her hastily, towering over her petite frame. “Wickham! What lies did he tell you?”
“He told me enough! He told me about his misfortunes,” she cried.
“Ah, yes! His misfortunes have been great indeed.”
“And of your infliction! You reduced him to almost poverty, refusing him the living that your father promised him, and now you dare to ridicule him and his misfortunes.”
“It is a nice a story he told you.” Darcy was walking back and forth in front of her. “I thought you smarter than this to believe his tales. Pray, tell me, did he happen to tell you as well that he almost succeeded in seducing my sister?”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she whispered “That… cannot be true.”
“You can ask Colonel Fitzwilliam for confirmation. It happened last summer at Ramsgate. Georgiana was there with her companion Mrs. Younge, who turned out to be Wickham’s partner in his detestable design.”
“But why would he have wanted to do something like this? Your sister must have been so young, still a child.”
“She was fifteen, your youngest sister's age.”
“But why…?”
“You cannot be so naïve,” Darcy cried aggravatingly, walking to the edge of the grove, his eyes focused on the horizon. ”Money, Elizabeth. Money,” he continued. “My sister’s fortune of thirty thousand pounds. And he wanted to take revenge on me; of that I am sure. He always hated me. Thank God, I came a few days before their planned elopement. Georgiana confided their secret. You can imagine what I did, and how I acted. Poor Georgiana. She was devastated. That bastard convinced her that he truly loved her. She has not returned to her old self to this very day.” The last words were said in almost a whisper. He turned and looked at Elizabeth, standing demurely behind him. “You do not believe me,” he remarked bitterly in a hurt voice.
Elizabeth shook her head slowly “No. I do believe you. I do. I cannot imagine you could invent such a tale about your own sister. It is just so horrible what he wanted to do to her. He should be punished for this, scorned by society.”
Darcy shook his head. “I could not do it. You must understand, I do not want anybody to know about what happened between them last summer. My sister suffered enough, and I do not want to allow the blemish on her reputation. It only infuriates me that the scoundrel dared to turn you against me.”
There was a long silence before Elizabeth spoke quietly. “It was not he who turned me against you.”
“You still defend him?”
“No, I admit I was wrong that I believed him. Nevertheless, it was your own haughty, selfish and ungentlemanly conduct which decided my opinion concerning your person in the first place. And it had been long before Mr. Wickham spoke to me about you. I would have never been so susceptible to Mr. Wickham’s tales if you had not given me reason with your own arrogant behaviour in Hertfordshire. I would have never believed such a history told about Mr. Bingley or even your cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam.”
“I see. And I thought that you…,” he paused, staring at his tall riding boots. “Well, I think there is nothing more to say, Miss Bennet.”
“Yes, I agree, Mr. Darcy.”
Not looking at her, he spoke with a listless quality in his voice “I leave tomorrow for London. I wish you every happiness, Miss Bennet, for it is doubtful we shall see each other in the future.”
“Thank you. And, Mr. Darcy,… I…” she started uneasily.
“Pray, I think you have said enough,” he interrupted her quickly, his voice suddenly croaking.
He stayed by her side for a few moments as if wanting so say something more, but at last he bowed and turned around, leaving the grove hastily.
Elizabeth sat heavily on the ground, suddenly feeling very tired. She supported her back against the tree. Mr. Darcy in love with me! Charlotte was suggesting the entire time that he had feelings for me, but I had just dismissed such notion as entirely impossible. How could I have been so blind? Should I not be capable to recognize when a man was partial to me? But it still makes little sense to me. After all, Mr. Darcy said himself he had found me not handsome enough to tempt him, to even dance with me, not to mention his ever considering the idea of marriage. But he seemed to be so ardent, so…tender with me just now, for those few moments when he believed that I would have him. And Mr. Wickham! Who tried to elope with a fifteen year old girl! Poor Miss Darcy. The mere thought of such a thing makes me ill. What kind of man is he, to be ready to do something like that? Just for money… for thirty thousand pounds. Oh, no, what is even worse he is still in Meryton, ar
ound Lydia and Kitty. Fortunately they are too poor to entice him.
Elizabeth was so engrossed in her thoughts that she did not notice the sun had set completely and it was getting dark quickly. She raised herself slowly from the ground and walked back to the parsonage. She was approaching the house when she saw Charlotte running out of it in a hurried manner.
“Lizzy, where have you been?” her friend cried.
“I had decided to walk some more and lost sense of time.”
“Lizzy, I do not know how to tell you this.”
Only then did Elizabeth noticed her friend's pale features. “Something has happened,” she whispered. “There was an express from London, just a half hour ago, from your uncle Gardiner.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in alarm. “Something happened to Jane!”
“No, she is fine. It is your father. He…”
“Charlotte, tell me.”
“He decided to go to London, to escort Jane and you home himself. His carriage had an accident just on the outskirts of town. Mr. Bennet was still alive and had been taken to a doctor; but he died the very next day. I am so sorry Elizabeth.”
Chapter Two
It was barely eight o’clock in the morning when Colonel Fitzwilliam walked into the breakfast room. He expected to meet his cousin there, but Darcy was not present. The servant informed him that Mr. Darcy had not yet been seen.
Colonel found it surprising, as Darcy had been always an early riser and liked to eat something before his usual morning ride or, lately, his morning walk. He had little doubt that those recently introduced early walks so eagerly cultivated by his cousin had much to do with a certain bright eyed young lady who was a great walker as well.