by Ola Wegner
Colonel’s amusement was stirred up when each morning he observed his usually dignified cousin hurry to swallow what was placed on his plate as quickly as possible without choking himself, only to, mere seconds later, rush out of the house in the direction of the park. The colonel had heard from Mrs. Collins that her dear friend kept a steady routine developed years ago to wake up very early and take a walk before breaking her fast.
Lady Catherine, being aware of her nephews’ early morning habits, mercifully ordered that breakfast be served earlier than was customary whenever they visited Rosings. Her ladyship never appeared downstairs earlier than ten in the morning. Cousin Anne usually took her breakfast in her own rooms. Consequently, Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam always had the morning meal to themselves when staying at Rosings.
Colonel sat at his usual place, helping himself to a healthy portion of cold meat, eggs, rolls and bacon. As a soldier, and a bachelor, he often ate things which could easily be called barely edible, so he relished any opportunity to eat well. The top positions on the list of places where the man could be fed decently were held by Pemberley and Matlock Manor; Rosings Park occupied the third place. The annual visits at Rosings could not be called pleasurable under many circumstances, but the food was always excellent.
Sipping his tea, Colonel pondered the fact that Darcy’s absence was rather unexpected, especially today. They were to leave for London together at noon, if not earlier. He could bet that Darcy wished to breakfast early in order to be able to call on the lovely Miss Bennet one last time before their departure. Her presence had been sorely missed yesterday, and with Darcy's disappearance just after the party from Parsonage arrived, the evening had been unbearable. Gazing into Miss Bennet’s fine eyes, listening to her musical laughter, and discretely appraising her delectable figure, were undoubtedly a more pleasant way of passing the afternoon and evening than listening to the parson’s paeans about Lady Catherine.
Even more entertaining was observing Darcy’s behaviour when he found himself in Miss Lizzy’s presence. The colonel had once overheard Mrs. Collins using this nickname when referring to Miss Bennet, and he thought it suited her very well indeed. He wondered whether his cousin was aware of the expression of the utter delight invariably painted on his face whenever he happened to sit next to the young lady or chanced to speak directly with her.
Darcy in love! In a way it was quite amusing. For years, the Colonel had doubted if his cousin was ever able to feel like that about any woman at all. Usually Darcy looked at women only to find some blemish. He excelled at finding countless faults in ladies of the ton. According to him, most of them were silly, lacking wit and quickness of mind, plain, not accomplished enough, too loud, too brazen, not symmetrical enough (whatever he meant by that) or simply lacking any sensibility.
Then along came the lively Miss Bennet, and his discriminating cousin stared at her as if he wanted to eat her. Apparently the lady was not at all intimidated by the illustrious Mr. Darcy of Pemberley. She did not try to please him or flatter him. On the contrary, she openly contradicted him in that teasing manner of hers. Miss Bennet was an intelligent and sensible young woman, very clever and witty; the fact could not be denied. Colonel applauded her treatment of his cousin, but at the same time he wondered whether she was aware of the effect she had on Darcy. She must have some suspicions as Darcy was too obvious.
At the same time, if she was as intelligent as she appeared to be, she had to realize that even though Darcy admired her, he would never propose to her, or at very least, the chance for that to happen was very small indeed.
Colonel knew that many of the ladies of her circumstances would readily agree to become Darcy’s mistress, with little or no hesitation at all. But Miss Bennet certainly did not seem to be that kind of lady, which made Colonel respect her even more, not that his cousin would have ever involved himself in such a situation. Miss Bennet might have been poor and her connections not wonderful, but she was still a gently bred young lady, a gentleman’s daughter. His cousin’s moral standards were too high to seduce such a girl.
Colonel was of the opinion that with his vast financial status and independence, Darcy should not hesitate to propose to Miss Bennet. She would make him happy, and there were few men who deserved it more. Darcy had been given too much responsibility too early. Uncle Darcy had not been himself after his wife’s premature death, and his son had virtually run the estate by himself since his teenage years. Miss Bennet was certainly a perfect choice to brighten Darcy’s life, draw him from that broodiness of his. Unfortunately Colonel was deeply convinced that Darcy had his duty first and foremost on his mind. Such duty would oblige him to provide for Pemberley as a new Mistress, at the very least, the daughter of an earl. But no; a duke’s daughter would be even better, only to raise the family’s position in the eyes of the society.
Colonel Fitzwilliam had almost finished his breakfast, and still Darcy was nowhere to be seen. Clearly he had risen long ago and gone riding. Colonel decided against lingering more at breakfast in hope of seeing his moody cousin, and gulping the second cup of tea (an action which would undoubtedly have brought a frown of disapproval from his mother), headed rapidly upstairs to fetch his hat and gloves. He was walking down the corridor leading to his rooms when he saw Darcy’s valet walking out of his cousin’s chambers.
“Peters, here you are. How long ago did your Master leave? I have not seen him at breakfast,” he asked in his usual rather loud voice.
The servant closed the door gently and spoke in a hushed tone. “Mr. Darcy is still within his rooms.”
The Colonel’s eyebrows shot up his forehead “At this hour?” he exclaimed.
“I am afraid Mr. Darcy is not feeling well, or rather is not his own self today. He was up late into night and only went to sleep around dawn.”
The colonel was not listening to the man any more but was entering Darcy’s chamber. He closed the door behind himself and walked to the bed. Darcy was lying on his stomach, in the clothes he had worn the previous evening, his eyes closed.
Colonel Fitzwilliam shook his cousin’s shoulder. “Darcy, wake up. It is almost nine in the morning. Cousin...,” Darcy murmured something but did not open his eyes. Colonel leaned forward to check whether the other man was drunk, but he could smell no alcohol. “Darcy!” He shook him more vigorously. This time Darcy rolled onto his back and murmured “Lizzy” a few times under his breath.
The colonel straightened himself. So that was the reason for this peculiar behaviour. Miss Bennet it was, as he had no doubt of which ‘Lizzy’ his cousin was dreaming about. It was evident that Darcy was deeply in love with her. Something must have happened the previous afternoon. Neither of them had been present at Rosings, so perhaps they had secretly met each other. It didn’t explain his cousin’s current state though. Had he had proposed to her, he would have undoubtedly been knocking at the parsonage door at first light to see her again. Could he have offered her the position of his mistress or, even worse, tried to seduce her? That could not be; Darcy had too much integrity for that. Despite all his faults, brooding moods, irritable little habits and sternness, he was a good and honourable man. Something must have happened to put him into such a state, and surely Miss Bennet played a crucial role.
“Darcy, wake up,” he ordered, employing his most commanding tone. Darcy opened his eyes at last and gingerly raised himself on his arms . “Richard? What are you doing here? What time is it?” he rasped.
“It is nine o’clock. I came here because I planned to visit the parsonage to say goodbye to Miss Bennet before our departure. I thought you would wish to join me.”
Darcy slowly shifted his body to a sitting position and muttered. “I do not want to see her.”
Colonel decided to play dumb for the time being and spoke cheerfully. “Why not? I thought you rather liked her. The way you have been devouring her with your eyes every time she was in your company -- I thought you would burn a hole in her dress with those heated stares.�
�� In answer he was acknowledged just with the roll of his cousin’s eyes.
“Why have you slept in your clothes, and why did you oversleep?” Colonel asked, his tone light.
“I went to bed quite late,” was all Darcy said as he walked to the water basin.
Colonel’s eyes narrowed into two slits while resting on his cousin’s broad back, “What happened yesterday?” he asked, this time his voice deprived of any warm tones. “Where were you all afternoon?”
“It does not matter,” Darcy muttered before sprinkling his face with water.
“Darcy, I have to ask you this. Have you seen Miss Bennet?” His only answer was the shrug of Darcy's shoulders.
The colonel was instantly behind Darcy, his muscular arm clenching on his cousin’s shoulder. “Have you hurt her?” he barked.
Darcy turned around immediately, his face still wet, and cried with genuine surprise “Of what are you speaking ? Of course not.”
“But you cannot deny you have seen her. What did you say to her?” Colonel pressed.
“It is nothing of consequence now. And it is certainly nothing which should concern you, Cousin,” Darcy responded quietly, drying his face with a towel.
“Darcy, I shall lose my patience in a moment. What happened when you were alone with Miss Bennet?”
“Why are you so interested in her?” Darcy asked, dropping his body into the armchair situated close to the balcony window.
“I like and respect her; and I will not let you harm her.”
Darcy grimaced. “Do not worry yourself on her behalf. She can stand her ground against me well enough and protect herself from my clearly unwanted attentions.”
Colonel strode energetically towards his cousin, crying exasperatedly, “I cannot believe what I am hearing. What did you do to her?”
“Apart from proposing to her, nothing,” Darcy said quietly.
“You proposed. Good for you!” Colonel cried, the relief evident in his voice. “She is perfect for you. I acclaim your taste.”
“Too soon for the felicities, Cousin. She certainly does not share your enthusiasm.”
The colonel furrowed his brows. “You do not mean refused you?” he asked unbelievably.
As Darcy did not deny the fact, the intelligence slowly sank in. She refused him! Colonel could not repress a smile, and soon he started to laugh, louder and more animatedly with each passing moment.
“I am happy I can serve as a source of entertainment,” Darcy remarked dryly.
“Forgive me, Cousin. But I like her even more now. You need someone like her who would set you down from your lofty place from time to time.”
Darcy at last seemed to lose his patience. “What nonsense are you speaking about, Richard? She refused me! She says I am the last man in the word she could ever marry.”
“You can at least be sure she is not a mercenary. Did she give you reasons for her refusal?”
“She seemed to be surprised by my proposal. Firstly I thought she just played coy with me, but she was truly astonished that I wanted her as my wife. I thought I was being pretty obvious.”
“You were to me and probably to Mrs. Collins as well. I saw the way she observed the two of you. But Miss Bennet, despite her impertinence and bravado, is truly just an innocent, sheltered young woman. Her experience with admirers is nonexistent. Trust me. Otherwise she would have noticed a long time ago that she has you wrapped around her little finger. It also does not help that you are quite often very hard to read, for strangers especially.”
Darcy sighed heavily. “I believe you are right. I had to repeat myself a few times, and she still found it hard to believe my affection for her.”
“Was it the only reason for her refusal, the fact she did not expect you proposal?”
“Oh, no. According to her estimations, I am arrogant and selfish. Moreover, I treat others with disdain and haughtiness.”
Fitzwilliam could not help but smile a little. “Well, I agree with her; you are and you do.”
“Thank you. It is good to hear such a faithful account of my character twice within such a short time.”
“You are also loyal, honourable, responsible, the best friend that a man can have, especially in hard times. She is just not aware of it yet. You must simply show her the real you. You guard yourself so fiercely from strangers. In consequence, only a few people know you. But there is no reason why you should hide yourself from the woman you love.”
Darcy shook his head decidedly. “No, Richard, it is too late. There are other reasons. She will never forgive me for the matter with Bingley and her sister. She found out somehow that it was I who talked Bingley out of courting her elder sister.”
Fitzwilliam stiffened slightly before asking. “The lady you mentioned when we talked about Bingley was Miss Elizabeth’s sister?”
“Yes, she was. Miss Jane Bennet.”
“Darcy, it was I who told her about your interference,” Colonel said uneasily, raking his hand nervously through his sandy blonde hair.“I met her earlier yesterday on her walk, and it slipped from me. You know me and my big mouth. I did not think it to be of any consequence. I thought it was just idle talk. I was trying to compliment you as a good friend to Bingley.”
Darcy only waved his hand in resignation. “It does not matter now. She would have discovered it sooner or later. It did not cross my mind that she would react so fiercely about this.”
“It speaks rather highly of her that she cares about her sister so much.”
There was a moment of prolonged silence before Darcy spoke sadly “Yes. It does.”
Fitzwilliam leaned over the other man, putting the hand on his shoulder and speaking reassuringly. “I think that she is worth fighting for her feelings. You cannot walk away from her now. You must just convince her you are a man worthy of her affection.”
Darcy lowered his head , his shoulders slumping depressingly. “I cannot imagine how I could do that.”
“Let us start today and go visit the parsonage before we depart to London,” Colonel proposed.
“You know very well she would not wish to see me.”
“Did she say that she did not want to see you again?”
“No.”
“Come on, Darcy. You want to see her. You know you do. Come with me. I will do all the talking, and you can just stare at her as much as you want.”
Darcy managed to smile a little and, at length, said. “Give me twenty minutes. Wait for me downstairs.”
Colonel just grinned at him and left the room.
Half an hour later, the cousins were walking briskly through the park, taking the shortcut to reach the parsonage as quickly as possible. After a few minutes, Darcy slowed down visibly.
“Richard, this is a mistake. I am sure of it. She will just leave the room on seeing me. She will not want to stay in the same room with me.”
“Why should she do anything like that? You have just proposed to her. It was her right to refuse you, but I am sure she feels sorry that she had to do that.”
“Richard, there is more to that. I was rather rude to her.”
“Rude? Can you be more specific?”
“I explained to her the reasons for which I decided to separate her sister and Bingley.”
“I imagine you said you believed you were rescuing your friend from unhappy marriage.”
“Not exactly. To sum up, I said that in general I found her family unsuitable and, in detail, her mother vulgar, her younger sisters shameless little flirts, and her father too lazy and neglectful to control his own family.”
Colonel did not said a word to this, but the look he gave his cousin made Darcy almost visibly cringe even though he was much taller. “I just wanted to be sincere with her,” Darcy murmured defensively.
“So you wanted to be sincere with her, you say. And pray tell me whether you would be satisfied when she informed you that she found you lacking only because one of your aunts is the most rude, stupid, ill-bred and narrow-minded woman in the
whole kingdom, together with the colonies, I believe; that your father had loved his wife more than his own children, and practically stopped speaking with them after her death, not taking care of what they did and what they felt. She may as well dislike the fact that your own great-great-grandmother had been the King’s mistress before he decided to marry her to a Mr. Darcy from the very far Derbyshire, paying him a rather substantial sum in return for her shocking lack of virtue. Not to mention your …”
Darcy raised his hand. “That is enough, Richard! I should not have spoken to her like that. I must have hurt her deeply. You see there is no point for me to see her.”
“Nonsense! I would never expect you to act so cowardly, afraid to face a woman,” Colonel cried. “We are approaching the parsonage. They can see us through the windows already. You cannot go back now.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam went ahead and knocked decidedly at the door. Darcy was just behind him. The young, rosy faced maid opened it and showed them to the small downstairs parlour. Colonel sat comfortably, but Darcy started his usual pacing, only to stop just in front of the window and stare outside. They had waited merely a few minutes when Mrs. Collins came.
Colonel stood up immediately and said pleasantly, “Mrs. Collins, it is pleasure to see you, as always. We hope we are not disturbing you. We thought it would be a good idea to call one last time before our departure to London. We hoped we could see Miss Bennet as well, and, of course, Miss Lucas; but I guess your sister and friend have chosen to walk this very morning.”
A quiet sigh escaped Mrs. Collins, and she started to speak in a clearly distressed voice. “Oh, dear Colonel, I am afraid it is not the best time for visits. My friend is upstairs, not feeling very well. She would not be able to receive anyone today”
Even before Mrs. Collins finished speaking, Darcy was before her, asking sharply. “What has happened to her?”