Deception

by Ola Wegner

  Elizabeth blushed hearing the last words. “Mama, I am sure it was not like that.”

  “Perhaps it was not, but it was how I perceived it. And I always felt guilty that I could not give him a son.”

  “Mama, it is nobody’s fault you and Papa did not have a son. I think that it is something that we cannot control,” Elizabeth reasoned.

  “Oh, Lizzy, it is easy to say!” Mrs. Bennet cried exasperatedly. “But a woman always feels guilty when she cannot bear a boy to inherit the estate. I do not wish you ever go through something like this. How would you feel, giving birth after birth to girls, when you know that everyone expects the heir to inherit your husband’s estate?”

  They were silent for a long moment before Mrs. Bennet spoke again. “Lizzy, it is my duty to prepare you for what is to come after the wedding when you will be left alone with your husband at night. Tell me, Child, how much you know about marital relations?”

  “I understand the mechanics,” Elizabeth said uneasily. “From what I have heard over the years, it is not pleasant, and that a woman must bear it for the pleasure of having children.”

  “Well, Elizabeth, to cut the things short, what you heard is not entirely true,” Mrs. Bennet announced gravely.

  Elizabeth smiled. “I know.”

  “You know?!” Mrs. Bennet’s eyes narrowed. “He has already…”

  Elizabeth blushed, guessing her mother’s meaning. “No, no! We just … well,… kissed, and I began to wonder what is more to that. Back in London I asked Aunt Gardiner to explain it to me. She said that the first time can be uncomfortable, even painful, but when a man cares, he can help his wife, and the discomfort will be very little. Moreover, she said there is pleasure for the lady as well.”

  “Yes, Lizzy, that is all true. I can say the same from my own perspective. Your father was a true gentleman in that respect. My sister speaks from her own experience as well when my brother is the most gentle and caring man you can find. It is not like that for all women.”

  “I cannot believe that my fiancée could act differently,” Elizabeth stated firmly.

  Mrs. Bennet looks at Elizabeth with concern. “Lizzy, child, you know nothing about men, my poor dear. You are the smallest of all the girls, and he is so big. I am afraid he can hurt you in some way.”

  Elizabeth smiled and even rolled her eyes. “Mama, he treats me like a china doll. He is always very gentle.”

  Mrs. Bennet looked unconvinced. “Yes, perhaps now, but later when you will be left alone with him…. He can stop controlling himself. When a man is in the throes of passion, he seeks only his own gratification.”

  “Mama, Mr. Darcy would never hurt me!” Elizabeth cried with great conviction.

  “Lizzy, you do not know my meaning…”

  “Mama, I perfectly understand your meaning. He is always in control for himself and for me as well. He proved it. We were alone in my future rooms at his townhouse last week and the things went perhaps farther than they should have…. Bu. Mama, he stopped immediately the moment he saw I was uncomfortable with what was happening. He apologized, as well, that he had rushed me. He did that though he knew we were alone in the room, in his house and I could not have stopped him even if I had wanted to because, as you said yourself, he is stronger,”

  “Well, I can see he is a gentleman,” Mrs. Bennet agreed reluctantly. “And if the things between you have gone so far already, you know that you must allow him to prepare you. You have to forget about all I once told you and your sisters: that you cannot allow anybody to touch you in your private places. I did that to protect all of you. Without dowry, your virtue is your only fortune. Now, Lizzy, you must allow him to touch you. Otherwise it is going to be painful for you. If you see he does not intend to do anything like this, you have to encourage him to touch you there.”

  Elizabeth blushed heavily, remembering vividly the afternoon in Darcy’s bedroom. She could not possibly tell her mother that her fears in this respect are unjustified. She started uneasily. “But, Mama I could not possibly…”

  “Lizzy, child, it is not the time for maiden coyness,” Mrs. Bennet interrupted her. “It is a matter of how to protect yourself from being seriously hurt. I do not think that your fiancée would be so inconsiderate and cruel after what you have told me. Your father never was, but I heard enough stories about such treatment of wives. You can never be sure. Marriage and the marriage bed are nothing like courtship. After the ceremony, you are his, and no one can help you. And, Lizzy, one more matter. Daughter, I know you always wanted to marry for love. I understand you because I wanted the same. I want to thank you that you are marrying Mr. Darcy. I could not live in poverty, economizing, not being able to take the carriage whenever I want or being unable to go visit friends or shop for trinkets every second day. Your Mr. Darcy was very generous towards us, but I know you dislike him.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “Mama, that is not true!”

  Mrs. Bennet shushed her. “You do not have to pretend in front of me, my dear. You are making a sacrifice. He is such a disagreeable man, nothing like your father when he was young. I still think that for you, marrying Mr. Collins would have been much better. He may not be so very rich or good looking or bookish like Mr. Darcy, but he is stupid. It would be easy for you to manage and control him like it is for Charlotte, I am sure. It would be enough to let him into your bedroom once a month, which will be quite impossible for you to accomplish with Mr. Darcy. He is clever, I think even more than you father was. He is proud, conceited, demanding, strong willed, inflexible, and there is something in his eyes I do not like. I pray every night for you to avoid pain and humiliation being married to him.”

  “He is not like that, Mama,” Elizabeth tried to convince her. “He is very gentle with me. You cannot imagine how good he is to me when we are alone. I like him, respect him and trust him. I shall try to make him happy.”

  Mrs. Bennet stroked her daughter’s cheek. “Lizzy, how very naïve you are. You have to be aware that he must desire you very much. I think he admires your intelligence, of course, the fact you will grace his home and will never bring shame to his name, but he could have all of that with many other women. I believe that first of all he must feel strongly attracted to you, physically. Do you understand what I am saying ?”

  Elizabeth blushed, nodding her head, while her mother continued. “I am not surprised that he tried to take liberties with you when you were alone. It was the same with your father. I think it was the reason why he married me in the first place. He wanted me in his bed, but he was far too honourable to get what he desired in an ungentlemanly way by making me his mistress.

  “I am not sure if I want to hear more,” Elizabeth murmured, embarrassed.

  “Lizzy, it is better to hear this from me than to learn it by yourself in a few years. I think that your Mr. Darcy is much the same in this respect as your father was. A mature woman like me notices such things. The way he looks at you, be prepared. He will demand sharing your bed every night, and even sometimes during a day. He will certainly want to look at you without your clothes. Men are just like that. This passion is just stronger with men than woman. Obey him in this, and he will be pleased with you. It is that simple.”

  Mrs. Bennet raised herself slowly. “Well, Lizzy, I hope I did not shock you too much. My intentions are the best. I do not want to frighten you. I want to prepare you for what will begin in your life from tomorrow.”

  “I know, Mama; but I truly consider that your worries are unjustified in this case. He said he will wait till I am ready to share his bed. He says it is up to me when we… you know.”

  “That is good, Lizzy, if he is sincere in this, that is very good. It means he really cares about you. Child, look at me.” Mrs. Bennet tilted Elizabeth’s chin. “You must remember I love you very much. Please write to me how he treats you. I will pray for you to find peace and happiness with him.”

  “Thank you, Mama. I love you too,” Lizzy whispered through tears and tightly
embraced the older woman.

  After a long moment, Mrs. Bennet freed herself brusquely from her daughter’s arms. “Well, well. Go to sleep, girl! It is high time. The wedding is tomorrow. You must look your best.” Mrs. Bennet said in her usual harsh manner, already standing at the door. Elizabeth smiled at her because in these last words, Mrs. Bennet sounded more like her own mother than she had for the last hour.

  ***

  “At last,” Darcy gasped with relief when the carriage doors had been closed, and the family and wedding guests disappeared by the turn of the road.

  “Yes,” Elizabeth agreed tiredly, slowly removing her gloves and untying the ribbons of her bonnet. “And I was afraid it was going to rain. This is perhaps the hottest day of this summer.”

  Darcy removed his neck cloth and took a deep breath. “That is better.”

  “William, perhaps you will be more comfortable if you remove your coat as well,” Elizabeth said, at the same time getting rid of her diminutive grey spencer.

  “You are right,” Darcy said, and soon his coat joined his wife’s spencer on the seat.

  He raked his hand through his curls and settled more comfortably, stretching his long frame as far as the spacious carriage would allow. His attention was soon fully engaged by his wife’s actions, however, as she clearly had not yet finished undressing herself for seeking comfort on this hot day. She unlaced the ribbons around her ankles and kicked off her flat ballerina shoes, discarding them carelessly on top of his dark coat. Very soon a pair of silk stockings joined the rest of their clothing on a rather messy heap in the corner.

  Elizabeth wiggled her toes happily and supported her feet on the opposite seat.

  “You have pretty feet,” Darcy observed, gently palming one small foot. It looked almost lost in his large hand. “So tiny.”

  Elizabeth giggled because he tickled her lightly on the sole, and she retrieved her foot abruptly from his hand.

  “Which cannot be said about yours,” she retorted, rubbing her feet against her other leg to relieve the itching he created and at the same time looking pointedly at his large shoe.

  She changed her seat, arranging herself in her favourite position, with her back supported against his chest, her legs tucked under her skirts.

  Glancing up at him, she asked. “Would you prefer to sit alone?”

  His arm immediately tightened around her. “Of course not,” he answered, kissing the crown of her head.

  “I am asking because none of my sisters ever wanted to sleep with me on hot summer nights. They insisted I gave so much heat with my body that the hot bricks in the middle of winter placed in the foot of the bed would be not needed.”

  The arms around her tightened even more. “I am fine.”

  “You look very lovely today,” he whispered after a few minutes of compatible silence.

  “Thank you. That dress is beautiful,” Elizabeth said, lightly touching the delicate lace around her décolletage. “Georgiana chose this design and talked the seamstress into introducing some changes into the cut as well. I am also glad that Georgiana convinced me to use this thin cloth. I thought it a bit impractical, but I would boil today in something thicker. Did you see Caroline Bingley's face when she saw me in this dress!? The green of her complexion at last matched the orange of her gown.”

  Elizabeth glanced up at Darcy and soon he was given a decided punch on his arm.

  “Ouch! What was that for?”

  “You were not listening to me.”

  “I was,” he cried defensively, rubbing his arm. “You said it was Georgiana who had chosen the dress for you.”

  “Oh, yes Mr. Smart. So pray tell me what I said after that?”

  “You said that the dress she chose is very … elegant and… Ouch!” Another punch was directed at his chest.

  “Your sister was right about you! You go deaf the moment one starts talking about fashion. I asked you an important question.”

  “Which was?” he asked meekly.

  “Did you see the face of Caroline Bingley when she saw me in this dress?”

  Great confusion appeared on Darcy’s handsome face. “No.”

  “You never see things which are really important,” Elizabeth accused him.

  “Next time you must tell me earlier if I am to observe the faces of other woman and their reactions to your appearance in a new dress. Besides, the only woman I have noticed today is you. I was not aware Caroline Bingley was even there until you mentioned her,” he said, kissing her neck.

  Elizabeth was clearly satisfied with his explanations as she smiled, leaning against his chest again.

  Another couple of minutes of compatible silence passed, filled with small caresses and light kisses, when this time Elizabeth spoke. “I am worried about Georgiana.”

  “She will be fine,” Darcy assured her calmly, playing with her fingers.

  “But she will be alone with my mother and sisters for five days. Will she not feel that we have abandoned her?”

  “No, Lizzy. She would feel uncomfortable in the company of newlyweds, she would think herself intruding. She understands that I am married now and things must change.”

  “But we left her alone with my sisters,” Elizabeth lamented.

  “I think she finds herself very comfortable in their company. She can play pianoforte with Mary or shop with Kitty. I left her ten pounds. I am sure that she and Kitty will go to Meryton first thing in the morning tomorrow to spend it on some trinkets. And please remember, my dear, that Miss Bennet is with them. I am sure that Jane will keep her eye on them.”

  His last argument calmed her down. “You are right. Jane will not allow anything wrong to happen.”

  “Exactly. And in five days Georgiana, Kitty and Lydia will come to London.”

  “Yes, and that is what worries me even more. I cannot stop thinking about Lydia starting school just in a few days. I worry how she will behave there. But I am not going to ponder this today. No worries today because it is a happy day.”

  “Very happy,” Darcy murmured, lifting her slightly up against his chest and kissing the tender skin below her ear.

  His left arm moved up from her waist and stopped just under her bosom, while his right hand dipped into the décolleté edge of her dress, under her stays, cradling her warm, slightly damp breast in his palm.

  Elizabeth closed her eyes, her head sagged against his shoulder and she gasped softly. “I love when you do that.”

  “I will bear that intelligence in my mind, dearest,” Darcy assured her, his fingers grazing her nipple. “I meant to say something earlier, but I forgot; you hair looks different.”

  “You noticed!” She could not remove the surprise from her voice and expression.

  “Of course, I noticed. You have more hair around your forehead.”

  “It is called fringe.”

  Darcy pretended to be offended. “I know that.”

  Elizabeth knelt on the seat beside him, turning to face him. “Georgiana and Jane talked me into this, to cut it at last, and make it shorter at the front. This way I can use more styles and my head feels lighter and not so hot. It was getting troublesome to have so much hair pinned to my head.”

  Darcy stared at her happily seeing her enthusiasm but soon his expression clouded, his eyebrows creased and he spoke cautiously. “You mean you cut only those wisps at the front, around your forehead, right? Am I correct?”

  Elizabeth shook her head, smiling, “No, Georgiana’s maid cut at least ten inches, it reaches just passed my shoulders now, but you cannot see it, because they are pinned now,” she explained, turning her head, showing Darcy the back of her head where the complicated looking construction of tiny curls, ribbons and silk flowers was arranged.

  “Why did you not ask me?” Darcy asked gravely, his brows creased.

  She frowned. “Ask you?”

  “Yes, ask me. You have cut your hair without my permission.”

  Elizabeth stared at him, mouth wide agape and then chuckled
. “You expect me to ask you when I want to change my hairstyle?”

  “Not hairstyle but the hair length. I require it to be long,” Darcy spoke haughtily.

  “You require my hair to be long,” she repeated slowly. “You cannot speak in earnest.”

  “I am completely earnest. You have not asked my permission.”

  “Your permission to shorten my own hair,” she said incredulously.“Pray enlighten me, husband, on other matters I need your permission for?”

  Darcy did not manage to answer because the carriage came to an abrupt halt.

  Darcy opened the door and cried “What is the matter?”

  “Tis a Fallen log after t’night’s storm affore us Master. Twill take some time to clear t’road.” The driver’s voice was heard. Darcy jumped out of the carriage and spoke to Elizabeth in a well measured decided voice. “Stay here. Do not leave the carriage.”

  When he returned to the carriage, after helping his men to remove the log, he found the carriage box empty.

  The little defiant minx of his had left all her things inside, including her shoes, so fortunately she could not walk far.

  He stepped out of the carriage and turned to the stable boy who had always travelled with him, taking care of horses. The boy was an orphan, a tenant’s son from Pemberley, whose entire family died in the fire of their cottage a few years previous.

  “Hey there, Ben!” he cried, and the boy instantly ran to him. ”Have you seen the Mistress?”

  “Aye, Master,” the lad answered in a strong Derbyshire accent. “Th’ Mistress walked down’t hill to t’creek o’ver there.” The boy pointed to the small lake down in the valley some thirty yards from the road.

  A quarter of an hour later, the driver, who was already seated atop, ready to go, could observe the Master walking calmly in the direction of the carriage with Mrs. Darcy arranged securely over his right shoulder, her bare feet kicking furiously in the air, her small fists pounding at her husband’s back.

  “Drive on,” were the only words Darcy spoke before climbing into the carriage together with the wiggling burden on his arm.