The Butchers Funeral: A Medieval Murder

by C. M. Harald

  'So I'm free to go?' Alvin could hardly believe it, the word of a travelling barber surgeon taken above that of a local, an apprentice? Which apprentice? He had nearly overlooked the comment in his relief at being believed. If it was Dye's apprentice, Albin, he had a lovely potion that would give the traitorous kid a good purging.

  'Free you are. But be warned that if we hear of your name alongside any other incident,' There was a clear emphasis on incident, 'you will find a great many people are no longer prepared to vouch for you.'

  Clearly this was the time to leave the city and move on to somewhere else. He would clear out his lodgings and leave, as planned, the next morning. Before that, he would pay one more visit to Dye, to make sure she was going to stick to the story, and give her a potion to reward the turncoat in her home.

  Chapter 4 - The Wise Woman

  'There my love, that'll be a nice joint for your meal tonight.' Col the butcher handed the meat over to the women next to her in exchange for the payment. It was not too bad a deal from what she could see. Anna did not normally bring her trade to this part of the city, but ever since that damned butcher in her part of the town had failed to pay for the delivery of his daughter, Anna had sought her meat elsewhere. Williams was a skinflint and she had known it for years. Enough was enough, if he could not respect her skills as mid-wife to his daughter, she would put a curse on him. For lack of a better starting point, she had moved her trade elsewhere and let it be known that she had put the evil eye on Williams. See how he would cope when it got around that he was cursed, his business would dry up in days.

  Anna had heard stories about Col Butcher and his antics, but then she had heard stories about almost everyone in the city. After all, as the main wise woman in the city, she knew many people. For that matter she had delivered most of them. She knew who was related to who, even the secret relationships; she knew when a person was sick; when they felt the world was against them; their deepest hopes and desires; even when a little help was needed to avoid the making of children. At least Butcher was not as bad as Williams. Williams had not only refused to pay her, but he also treated his wife abominably, the poor woman was routinely black and blue. This happened so frequently that the community was on the verge of intervening, especially after her arm had been broken. It was one thing to beat discipline into your wife and children, but another to beat your wife to such a degree that it was noticeable in public. Anna already thought that the risks a woman faced during childbirth were more than enough for any one person to handle. William's wife had already successfully survived four childbirths, although only three of the children had lasted beyond their first year. She had suffered more than enough and Anna intended to take part in any event that would restrain Williams from his frequent and excessive discipline. A bit of discipline was perfectly normal and acceptable, but this was not.

  Anna simply could not tolerate men who treated their women badly. She had never married, knowing that any man who tried to discipline her would soon end up bruised and bleeding, or on the receiving end of an unexpected purging administered through his food. She was too much of a challenge, besides not many men had been interested in her, and certainly no worthwhile ones. Who would marry the local wise-women with the connotations of witchcraft that her skills carried? Now Col, he was another matter. Like all tradesmen, he would cut corners and try to cheat his customers, but from what Anna knew, he treated his wife well. They seemed to like each other despite the age difference. Of course, Anna had heard all the rumours about him being cuckold by virtually every male in the city, but she did not believe these. If they were true, Dionisia would probably have had to call upon Anna's services as wise woman on a regular basis. She would have had the need for certain herbs to avoid pregnancy. Yet this had never happened. Even without Anna's help, the woman had still not got pregnant and if she had, help would have had to have been sought for this as well. Clearly there was nothing untoward going on, there were just no signs for it. While Dionisia had no children, she was still young and had plenty of time in which to face the trials of childbirth. Of course, the lack of children also got tongues wagging, but while unusual, Anna knew that this was not impossible as some women were simply barren and some men also lacked capability.

  'So what will be be then madam?' All of Col's attention was now focused on Anna.

  'I'm looking for something tasty for my meal today, just for myself. Nothing fancy mind.' Anna normally bartered her skills for things she needed such as repairs to her home, new wool, and increasingly frequently, food. She had plenty of vegetables and some lovely rye bread, but was in the mood for some meat as a reward for all the hard work she had put in over the last fortnight. Occasionally she was paid in coin and as she had carefully saved her coins to pay for the treat.

  'Well, let me see.' Col was weighing up how much he could make from her. Anna was not unknown to him, but as an irregular customer it may be worth chancing his luck, 'I've got some nice fresh mutton, nice prime cuts right through to all the usual offal. As always, there's plenty of pork and some chicken as well.' She was not biting, 'I've some squirrel, and of course a few rabbit. Could cut one up into pieces for you?' He waved a reasonably fresh looking rabbit in front of her.

  'Yes, of course you'll need to cut something up for me as there's just me and I don't need much. I'm no glutton and I'm not going to keep it.' Could the foolish man not work that out for himself?

  They haggled back and forth for some time. She had made her mind up on a small quarter of rabbit and wanted one with the skin still on. Col was clearly trying to offload a skinned piece on her for the same price. She knew she could make use of the skin in a remedy or cure, so it was worth having it if the price was right. That butcher was a stubborn old crook. Almost before she finished the thought she was pushed, from behind, into the stall-front of the butcher's shop. She fell in a heap onto the dusty street, smashing her ribs on the bench as she went. She heard the heavy tread of a man running away.

  'Hey you! Stop!' Despite the pain Anna noticed another male voice shout, 'Stop thief!'

  The hue and cry was raised with others taking up the cry. It was now the duty of every able-bodied man, within hearing, to stop the thief and deliver him to the sheriff. Of course, if the thief had the stolen goods, it would be a formality and the constable could arrange his execution. Failure to apprehend the thief could lead to the punishment of the whole community that he came from. While failure to take part in the hue and cry could lead to being punished in the same way as the criminal you failed to stop.

  From the ground, she could not really see what was going on, but clearly the chase was on as all the men made after the thief. Fortunately, none of the racing men stood on her as they ran by, although one or two came close. Dishevelled and in quite a bit of pain Anna used the table to pull herself to her feet. It was not easy and she knew that she was going to have some impressive bruises later on. She hoped that her ribs were only bruised and not worse, she could not recall hearing a cracking noise, but then she had been overwhelmed by the shock and pain.

  As she brushed down her clothing with her hands, trying to remove the dusty street waste, she noticed Col emerging from the shadows of his shop. She took some time to make the connection. When she had gone down, he had stepped back inside the building to avoid having to take part in the hue and cry. Perhaps he was too afraid to leave his stall unattended, or he did not favour the extra effort that would have to be expended, along with the consequential attendance at any enquiry led by the constable. Maybe he just did not want to lose out on any of the business that the chase would take him away from. Regardless, his omission would be safe with her, what with her knowing many of the secrets of the inhabitants of the city. She looked away so that he would not realise that she had seen him hiding from his civic duty.

  'What was all that noise about?' Col asked her when he saw her standing, adding as an afterthought 'Are you hurt?'

  'No, no, I'm fine. Just a little knock to my ribs. I'l
l be all right in a few minutes.'

  'I saw you fall and I rushed to get my wife to help you.' Col sounded quite convincing, but she knew he was lying to cover up his failure to take part in the hue and cry. She was even less surprised that he had not come around to help her up, some men had the attitude that they should not handle any women to which they were not married to. And many of those men were more than happy to be heavy handed with their wives, she thought darkly.

  'So what was all the commotion about?' He continued.

  'Someone was being chased and they bumped into me. A thief judging by the shouts.'

  'I heard shouting as I went to get my wife, but I couldn't make out what was being said. A thief you say?'

  'Don't know what he stole, but there was a crowd in pursuit when I got up.'

  'Plenty of things to chose from around here. Just glad it wasn't my stuff he was after. Hope they catch him and he gets what he deserves. I've got no sympathy, stealing from the likes of me; straight out of the pocket of a hard-working trader no doubt. They should 'ang him.'

  'They'll only hang him if he's caught with the goods. You know the rules as good as me.'

  'Oh, if it were me chasing, I'd make sure he had the goods on him when I caught up.' Col meant that he would plant something on the criminal, if the goods had been dropped along the way. He was fully aware that there were few circumstances under which he would chase, and in those the criminal would need to pay heed to his cleaver, not planted items.

  'Ah, I think I'm getting my breath back now. Where were we?'

  'Quarter of rabbit wasn't it?' Col put a wrapped package on the counter. Anna had not seen him wrapping it. She must have missed that detail during all the excitement.

  Anna handed over the coin in payment and soon lost herself in thoughts of the herbs she was going to pick in the evening. What would go nicely with rabbit, she wondered.

  Her stomach cramped again. Anna had lost count of the number of times this had occurred during the night, but that pain was not the worst of it. She had passed out at one point while squatting over the container she used for her night soil, the burning diarrhoea vacating her body while she had hit her head on the way down. Waves of nausea continued to hit her hours after they had begun, but at least she had stopped vomiting, her throat sore from the acidic substance and the retching.

  As the latest cramp eased, Anna was able to take stock of the numerous other aches and pains that assailed her. The worst was probably the pounding in her head, which at times threatened to affect her vision. Many of her muscles were sore, either from the spasms of her body or the loss of water.

  She had started feeling nauseous shortly before bed, the night had become a waking nightmare of pain as she had lost all concept of time. Anna was scared. With her know-how and experience, she had seen people die of illnesses like this. She had tried comforting her body by sitting and lying in various positions. The potions she had tried has not helped, unable to keep them down. When she had periods of mobility, she had even tried burning herbs to try and drive away any miasmas that were assailing her.

  Anna knew some people would call a priest, but she did not think it likely a priest would come to her with any useful advice, she would just be told feeble stories of how she was being punished by God and should turn from her wicked 'heathen' way of life. Other people would call a physician, especially the well off, but what was the point of that? All a physician would do is explain that her Humours were imbalanced, and after charging her a tidy sum, would suggest she saw an apothecary or surgeon for treatment. Honestly, what use was a physician? She could try the apothecary, but all he would do is try to sell her some elixir with God knew what in it. At least her own potions were natural. There were a couple of other wise women she could call, but since she had rubbed them up the wrong way over the years, it would not be the best of ideas. Nor would they hurry to see her. Anna thought long and hard. The barber surgeon Alvin. He was reliable and not too far wrapped up in his own importance. Besides, he had often made use of her skills when he felt out of his depth and likewise, she had referred people to him when they needed help that she could not provide. He was pretty knowledgeable and not too bad with ointments and potions as well, maybe not up to her standards, but much better than those self-righteous apothecaries.

  It was several hours before she was able to gather the strength to go summon one of her neighbours, sometime around dawn. The neighbours were used to her impatient calls and she had long suspected that they were developing a selective deafness. At one time they used to come running at the slightest sound of her voice, but this was no longer the case. It was not that Anna had overused their goodwill, rather she thought it was because they had become overly familiar and had lost their fearful respect of her. She made a mental note to publicly hex them, or at the very least, imply that they were going to suffer bad fortune. A few mumbled words always lead to people reading too much into things and it was bad management to let your neighbours slip like this. Fortunately, when the neighbour's young daughter eventually arrived, a last well-placed glare had ensured that the girl had rushed off to find the barber surgeon.

  Fresh waves of sickness saw Anna squatting over the bowl as time seemed to become as fluid as her bowels. When the pains finally eased, her thought went back to the girl, who in near terror, had taken her message. That lass might make a good apprentice if she only listened more diligently rather than lusting after the young men with their outlandish, and fashionable, long toed shoes. How anyone could walk in those ridiculous things, she did not know. She was interrupted from this line of thought by a firm knocking on the door.

  'Come in.' She croaked, her voice sore from the torments of the night.

  The neighbour's daughter showed Donald Alvin in. She quickly scuttled away, not that Anna would have bothered with a chaperon anyway. Alvin looked around, quickly taking in his surroundings, quickly disguising his shock at the unpleasant smell that had built up during the night.

  'Donald, now don't you go wrinkling your nose. You'll soon get used to the smell.' Anna had seen through his subterfuge and he looked embarrassed, "I'm sure you've smelt far worse from some of the things you've had to chop off.'

  'Absolutely. Nothing beats a rotten limb.' He placed his bag against the wall, 'So what's the problem then?' He was curious about why Anna had not been able to fix herself.

  'I've got water squirting out of my backend; I've thrown up everything I've ever eaten; and I feel like the morning after a night of heavy drinking.' She ticked off her complaints on her fingers as she listed them, 'I haven't felt this bad since I had the Plague when I was young,' This was a story that they had discussed many times. Unlike many people, they could simply not accept that the Plague was simply a curse from God, 'I've tried everything I've got, but nothing's touched it.'

  'Anything unusual happened to you recently?' They both immediately discounted the idea of divine retribution and the Plague. Neither particularly believed in the God, and if this illness were the Plague, more obvious symptoms would already be showing or Anna would have been dead by now.

  'Well, I bashed my ribs yesterday. Got good and proper knocked over.'

  'Who on earth would knock you over? Nobody would dare.'

  'Normally they wouldn't, but there was some sort of chase, a thief. Ran into me while I was doing some shopping and I went straight down. He probably didn't even realise what had happened. So I then caught my ribs on a bench as I went down.'

  'I heard there had been a chase. How bad were you hurt?'

  'Winded me. Didn't break anything, I think. Probably got a lovely bruise by now, but I've not checked.' She winced as she placed her hand on the area, 'Still hurts mind. Hope they caught the miserable sod.'

  'Oh, they caught him all right. Constable's holding him.'

  'You mark my words, once I'm better, I'll go and give him a piece of my mind.' Alvin had no doubt that she would, although she may not want to wait around as the punishments for theft could be quite se
vere and quite quick when it was not referred to a higher court.

  'Mind if I have a look?' He knew it would be best to check the damage was not more severe than she thought.

  Anna carefully removed her clothing. Neither stood on ceremony, both were practical and knew that there was no point being prudish or excessively modest. If that meant people wanted to gossip, well that was tough. A fresh bruise was spreading from Anna's side and around her back. Alvin tutted.

  'Get on with it. I know you want to give it a poke.' Anna was impatient. She wanted to get the pain she expected out of the way. When Alvin pressed one of the ribs she yelped, 'Be gentle!'

  'So are you having much trouble breathing?'

  'Of course. It hurts like bloody mad.'

  'Lots of phlegm or blood coming up? No, no point asking about that. You can't hold in any food anyway and I wouldn't expect the degree of purging you've undergone with just damaged ribs. No other rashes,’ Anna shook her head, but Alvin could see for himself, 'I'd say that part of your problem is a cracked, maybe broken rib. The rest of the problem, I'm not sure about. Have you breathed in any unusual miasmas?'

  'Only the miasma you smell now, nothing else.' Anna could not think of any unusual air she had been in contact with, certainly not anything from the marshes. For that matter, the smell in her room did not really count.

  'Come into contact with any unusual illnesses, fevers or anything like that?' Alvin was working his way through the logical causes, trying to find what had unbalanced her Humours.

  'Well, there was removing pebbles that got stuck up a toddler's nose. That's unusual, but probably not going to be something I could catch.' She sometimes wondered if stupidity was contagious with the way some of the people lived in the city. Maybe stupidity was something she could catch?