by Alicia Rae
I missed my mom so much. Her smile could fill a room, and her laughter could warm my heart.
Kyle was lying there quietly, listening. His eyes were strong, urging me to continue, yet they were full of understanding. I could also see his hurt, knowing that the story was about to go bad. I could see it all in his eyes. This story had no happy ending, and my heart felt as though it could shatter.
My body tensed as the rest of my thoughts played out. “On the drive home, I took a normal route that we used all the time. We had about ten miles on the highway, and as we came up to a small curve, a car from oncoming traffic kept going straight, and it came into our lane. I tried to slam on the brakes, but it was too late. His headlights blinded me as his truck hit us head-on.”
Tears streamed down my face as I thought of those last moments. The sound of metal was forever seared into my memory. “I heard Annie’s scream an instant before everything went black. When I woke up in the ambulance, my mind was foggy, but I remember trying to grab Annie’s hand in the stretcher next to me. Her body wasn’t moving,” I faltered, remembering that moment. “She never squeezed my hand back. After that, I only recall screaming loudly before the darkness took back over.”
“Jesus, Lily.”
Kyle looked in pain as I glanced back up at his face. His arms tightened around me, pulling me close, as he tried to comfort me. But this wasn’t something he could comfort or fix. It would always be with me.
I continued on, desperately needing for it to be over. “When I awoke again, I was in the hospital, and my Aunt Lucie was sitting across from me. Tears were running down her face as she looked at me, and I knew right then that it was bad. My injuries were nothing compared to the pain when she told me…” Tears blurred my eyes, and I wiped furiously at them. “My mom, dad, and sister were gone…I was alone.”
Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep breathing. “The nurse had to come in and sedate me to keep me from disrupting the other patients. As the funerals were quickly approaching, Aunt Lucie and my cousins all took turns checking on me and comforting me. Everyone tried to hold me and ease my pain, telling me that it would be okay, but I didn’t want them. I wanted my dad, my mom, and my sister. And it became painful for me to watch Aunt Lucie, Uncle Dan, and my cousins be a family…and to see the pain in their eyes, too. It reminded me too much of what I had done and what I had lost. For some unjust reason, I survived…and they didn’t.”
I closed my eyes, tears freely streaming down my face, as I tried to block it all out. “It was just too much.” I remembered it all like it was yesterday—the deafening sound of metal crashing and my sister’s cries. It was my darkness to bear. It was my fault.
“I’m so sorry, Lily. I wish I could take away the pain,” Kyle said, stroking my back. He gently kissed my forehead and then my temple. “But it doesn’t sound like any of it was your fault. You can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes, it was my fault. I was driving. I should have swerved out of the way or stopped sooner. They should be here. I shouldn’t. They are gone because of me.” I closed my eyes in anguish, feeling pain…guilt…regrets…and darkness.
Kyle’s strong hands grasped my arms and pulled me up onto his chest, his eyes unwavering. “No, Lily. It is not your fault.” His tone was firm and final. “I will not let you carry the extra burden of blame. It sounds like you loved your family, and your family loved you. They wouldn’t want you to be living your life like this. They would want you to be happy. So, we are going to start working on that…right now, in fact…starting with pizza,” he finished, trying to lighten the mood.
“Pizza sounds good. Oh, that’s right! You brought some with you. Where is it? You should bring it in here, so we can have pizza in bed.”
“I may have, er…dropped it when you attacked me at the door,” he replied, bashfully grinning.
My heart skipped a beat at his adorable look.
“Hopefully, it’s still edible,” he added.
“Well, I hope so. We can’t waste pizza. And I did not attack you at the door. My senses…just naturally took over.” A blush crept up my cheeks.
“Sure, they did.” He released a sexy smirk.
Kyle shifted me over slightly, so he could get off the bed. He sauntered out of the room, completely naked.
That ass…oh my…
He quickly returned with the box of pizza. That was the first time I really got to take in his chiseled body. Holy hell, the man was hot! My eyes started their adventure at his sculpted deltoids, and his chest was defined with all the right curves of muscle, narrowing into a perfect waist. I licked my seemingly dry lips at his amazing physique. He was obviously dedicated to working out, and it was clear he took care of his body.
His tribal band wrapped all the way around his right arm caught my attention. It was extremely sexy. The arm band on his left was thinner and darker with more eye-catching designs that swirled, disappearing to the underside of bicep.
My eyes lowered to see that Kyle’s erection was pressed firmly against his stomach. I remembered the way he had stretched me. I felt my cheeks warm as I wondered why all these new sensual thoughts were filling my mind.
“See something you like, beautiful?” He raised his eyebrows and gave me a heart-stopping grin, purely an erotic invitation to more pleasure.
My face continued to redden at being caught from checking him out.
His husky laugh pulled me out of my daze. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Only one round for you today because you will probably be sore tomorrow. And I’m going to starve if I don’t eat.”
“I was just admiring the view,” I said playfully.
I pushed my dark plum comforter out of the way. If we ate on the sheets and they got dirty, I could toss them into the washing machine. My room was an okay size, but Kyle’s presence made it seem extremely small. When he sat down, I felt an electrical charge as our legs brushed against one another. I bit my lip, trying to ignore my body’s response. It had apparently not had enough of him. I momentarily debated on devouring him instead of the pizza until my stomach growled.
Kyle and I dug into our cheese pizza as a movie quietly played on TV. After we finished eating, I snuggled into his chest, loving the way his body felt against mine. I had never snuggled with a man before. Part of me felt as though I had been missing out. As soon as the thought entered my mind, I knew it wasn’t true because I hadn’t wanted to be this close with anyone else until Kyle.
After the movie was over, we tucked the blankets around our bodies. Kyle pulled me in even closer and buried his nose in my hair. “So, tomorrow, we’ll leave bright and early for date number two. We have about a two-hour drive.”
I turned my head to face him, and he had an excited look of a young boy on his devilishly stunning face. It made me wonder what he was up to.
“Okay,” I said casually.
“And you’ll need to bring a change of clothes with you, just in case.” His tone gave nothing away.
Okay, now, I’m really curious.
“Extra clothes to go where? What should I pack?” I tried to sound as neutral as possible.
“Oh no. I’m not telling.” He chuckled. “It’s a surprise. Just one extra outfit should do.”
He was holding back his amusement while my frustration grew from not knowing the details.
“Um, okay.”
My body was starting to relax into a deep slumber when Kyle spoke softly in my ear.
“Oh, and Lily?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sleeping over tonight…and tomorrow night. Is that okay?”
I warmed at the thought of Kyle sleeping in my bed and being able to snuggle up close to him while his big body cradled mine. Yes, please. “Yes, I’d like you to stay.”
With that, he tucked me back into the curve of his body where I fit perfectly. He nuzzled his head into my neck, and I felt his breath on me.
Our breathing evened out, and we both drifted off to sleep.
Warm kisses ran up and down
my arm. No…no…need sleep…
“Ugh. Sleep. Need sleep,” I mumbled as my brain begged for more rest. I was one of those eight-or-nine-hours kind of girl…well, maybe even ten.
Warm kisses moved up to my shoulder. Need…sleep…
His bottom lip trailed across to my collarbone. Mmm…
I peeked out of one eye to see a dark shadow looming over me. I knew right away that it was Kyle’s sexy, intoxicating male scent caging me in. That smell did crazy things to me. I sighed. What a heavenly way to wake up in the morning. A girl could definitely get used to this.
“Good morning, beautiful Lily. It’s time to get ready for our date,” Kyle said in a rough, erotic morning voice as I opened my eyes.
I could not resist running my fingers through his tousled hair and down to his morning stubble, making him groan, as my body stirred. He leaned forward and kissed me. Then, he proceeded to tug at my lower lip with his teeth, and I moaned. My heartbeat quickened. Damn, the man can set my body on fire with a simple kiss. I moved my arms around his neck and pulled while deepening the kiss, forcing him to fall forward and straddle me as he leaned on his forearms. His lips were embracing mine. Much better…
“Oh no,” Kyle said.
We were both practically panting as we parted.
“Damn, Lily. Keep that up, and we’ll be staying in this room all day,” he growled, eyes blazing into mine.
Now, we’re talking. I shyly blinked up at him. “We can do that, too.” I blushed. These feelings were all new and powerful. I wanted to feel them again.
“Oh, trust me, I’d love to stay here all day and make love to your beautiful body. But one, I’m sure you’re sore, and two, we’ll be late if we don’t leave here shortly. I drew you a warm bath already. Now, I’m going to start breakfast for us while you bathe and pack, and then we’re off.”
Me bathing his naked body sounds way better. I’d run my hands over his chest, tight stomach, and back. I just want to start licking him everywhere—
“Fuck, Lily. You have got to stop looking at me like that.”
His eyes darkened with an erotic intensity as I gazed up at him.
“Looking at you like what?” I asked, confused by his comment. It was hard to ignore my reaction to him.
“Like you want to lock me in your room and have your way with me.” His body was tense while he was trying to keep control.
Oh man, do I ever want to have my way with him. However, it stunned me that he could read me like an open book. My lips parted while I thought of ways to touch his delicious body.
“Oh…that sounds wonderful.” My body wanted him, I wanted him, and I wanted to feel his skin on mine.
“It sounds as though I might have a little minx on my hands.” His mouth split into a wide grin. “You can have your way with me after our date, beautiful. Now, you better run off to your bath before I change my mind.” Kyle started backing toward the door with difficulty.
This date sounded like it was very important, and it made me curious. I turned on my heels and walked toward the bathroom as I tried to think of what he had planned. Butterflies started to dance in my belly as I thought of what my second date with Kyle could be.
After two hours of driving, we arrived at an ATV outdoor trail-riding park. When we pulled up a long driveway, I saw the sign for the first time. A huge smile was on my face as he put the car in park. He turned to face me and judge my reaction.
“Four-wheeling?” I all but squealed. I had not been riding since I left home, and I truly missed it.
Kyle gave me a sexy to-die-for grin, sending butterflies fluttering deep in my stomach.
“Yes, I thought maybe you might miss it, and you sounded as though you really enjoyed it. This place is huge with lots of trails because it’s on a national forest preserve.”
My eyes watered at his thoughtfulness. Kyle had taken mental notes in our conversations, trying to learn more about me. No one had done anything like this for me in a long time, and the sweet gesture Kyle had made was overwhelming. Too much, too fast. But I didn’t know if I would be able to stop my feelings for him now. I felt as though I was already in too deep, and I didn’t want to stop it. And I didn’t know how to stop it.
I blinked up at him while reining in my emotions. “Thank you, Kyle. That was extremely thoughtful. Thank you.” I grabbed his hand. “Thank you for listening.” Listening in more ways than one.
I had told him more about my family than I had told anyone. Though I didn’t have the answers as to why, I knew I just had to follow my heart. He tipped up my chin, and as I looked into his eyes, I saw so many emotions running through them, reflecting my own.
“I’ll always listen, Lily. Don’t ever forget that.” He kissed me oh-so softly. “And you’re welcome.”
This man had a way of pulling strong emotions out of me that I had kept closed before. I felt an inner battle brewing within myself. I was not ready to have these intimate moments with him. I still had so much to learn about him. And how much do I want him to know about me? Of that, I was not sure.
Now was not the time though. I wanted to enjoy our date, and I wanted it to be lighthearted and fun.
“So, are you ready to lose against a girl?” I tried to lighten the mood.
His laughter was downright sexy. “Oh, Lily, do you really think I would bring you here if I couldn’t keep up?” His grin was infectious.
“We shall see, Mr. Madison. I have plenty of experience from riding with my sister and three male cousins, so I will be the judge of your skills,” I said with a wink before I turned to open my door.
As we stepped out into the Florida heat, I pivoted to take in the view. Paths went off in various directions. It looked like it was going to be a great time. Two teenagers were putting on gear as we walked the length of the parking lot, heading for the main doors. I was looking forward to a good time with Kyle. He was so intense at times, and with this change of pace, he would be able to relax, and I could see another side of him.
Management quickly took our required license information while going over safety instructions. We walked off with our keys and headed to the main garage to pick up our wheels. Kyle chose a dark blue one while I picked a purple one.
I wish my sister and I would have been taught all those safety techniques. When my sister and I were younger, our only lessons had been from male family members who said, “Don’t crash!” and “Make sure you shift, or you’ll burn out the clutch!” My mother had worried about us, but she had been quickly outvoted by the men, who would say, “They’ll be fine!”
Looking back on it now, I remembered all the great times I had shared with my family outdoors. I felt very blessed to have those opportunities. I just wished I could have had more.
“Hey beautiful, come back to me,” Kyle said, pulling me out of my wandering thoughts.
He started to put on his gear, and I followed suit. I was glad Kyle had told me to bring extra clothes since I would definitely need them today.
“Are you ready?” An eager smile spread across his face.
He looked hot, all dressed up with his helmet in hand. Yum.
“Yep, just need to put on my helmet, and then I’m good to go,” I said, just as excited.
“Stay behind me until we make our second loop. We don’t know the routes or how many people are on them, so I’ll go first,” he said protectively before giving me a quick kiss. He grabbed my helmet, put it on me, and tightened the strap.
I rolled my eyes at him. Of course, he wants to lead. Heaven forbid I round a corner and fall off a cliff from not paying attention. I quickly decided I probably would not win this battle. “Okay, just don’t go too slow,” I teased.
It was his turn to roll his eyes and shake his head. He fastened his helmet while I climbed on to my four-wheeler. Time for some fun. He gracefully hopped on to his. Now, this is a sight to see. Maybe being in back will have its perks after all.
We took off to the first trail on the right that instantly curved
before a large hill. Kyle swiftly maneuvered his machine while I easily kept pace behind him. The paths were just the right width, and they were clearly marked. It was fun to ride in a new area, especially the one we were riding on. I had done lots of riding in my younger days, here and there, but these pathways were different from just riding a few acres around our home. They were a whole new level of fun.
Some of the trails were a bit muddy. They must have had a rain shower before we arrived. The weather channel had called for a brief shower and then sunny skies the rest of the day. With Florida weather, it could downpour and then be clear and dry in an hour or so, which was perfect for four-wheeling. We hit several large puddles that were unavoidable. I laughed as my body quickly got covered in mud. I didn’t mind the mud. I welcomed it. It felt so good to be behind a machine and enjoy this carefree time with the warm breeze on my face.
Kyle slowed in front of me, signaling for me to pull up to the shoulder. I carefully stopped alongside him. After taking off our helmets, Kyle took my hand, and we walked to the edge of the trees. The view was beautiful. Up on the hill, we could see a few different pathways weaving in the trees below. Kyle stood behind me, wrapped his arms around my chest, and pulled me close. My body instantly relaxed in his arms. We stood quietly for a few minutes, taking in the sight before us.
He turned his head and kissed his way up my throat. “Shall we continue? There is a place at the next stop where we can have lunch.”
“That sounds great.” I shifted to face him, noticing that he had as much dirt on him as I did.
He looked down into my eyes and smirked. “The trail seems easy enough to maneuver along. I’m fairly confident you could lead us.”
I opened my mouth and inhaled, pretending to be offended. “Oh! Well then, guess I’ll have to leave you in the dust. Let’s see if I can make you eat dirt!” I said playfully, storming off.
I glanced at a few puddles lingering in the tree area where we were parked. Oh yeah. Game on. I started my four-wheeler as Kyle was leisurely putting on his helmet. Revving up mine for a second before popping the clutch, I hit the gas and spun my wheels as I quickly shifted my weight. That should do it.