by Alicia Rae
Kyle shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal. “She’s not my type.”
“And what’s your type?” I wondered out loud with a laugh.
“You.” His tone was serious as he stared at me, making my cheeks flush in response. Leaning forward, he brushed the side of my face with the backs of his fingers. “I love it when I make you blush.”
My blush deepened even more as he sat back against the booth.
“Do you think they are ready to go?” I asked.
He glanced over at them. “Probably not, but we can check.” He finished his beer and grabbed my hand to lead me over to the girls. Abbey was dancing with a tall blond as we walked up to her.
“Are you ready to head out?” Kyle asked his sister.
“Not yet, but soon?” Abbey said hopefully.
“Half an hour, and then we’re out.”
Abbey nodded and walked over to Gail and Kristen just as one of my favorite songs started to play. I grabbed Kyle’s hand, pulling him toward me. He looked down at me and wrapped his arms on either side my waist. I started to move my hips to the beat, hoping that he would follow along. I had no idea if he could or would dance.
Smiling down at me, he gathered me closer and started moving to the beat. Oh. His hands tightened around my waist, and our rhythm became one and the same. Oh god…the man could move.
With one hand on my wrist while the other gripped my hip, he turned me until my back was pressed against his hard chest. His unyielding large hands cupped just below my breasts before he gradually descended to grip my hips once again. A sensational electrical pull danced between us as his erection brushed along my backside. His hips rocked against mine in time to the pulsing beat. It was perfect and erogenous. I was lost in the song, lost in him. Everyone else faded far, far away.
I turned at the sound of Abbey shouting my name when the song ended. Abbey waved at me, and I waved back.
As another song started, Kyle pressed me close again. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I shut my eyes and reveled in the feeling of his breath along my throat. His hands went to my waist, and I absorbed the feeling of his every touch. The song ended all too soon, and I felt dead on my feet.
Kyle grabbed my hand and led me to the far side of the dance floor where Abbey and Kristen were dancing. “Time to go.”
“Alright, let me get Gail. I’ll meet you guys at the door.” Abbey walked off in search of Gail.
After rounding everyone together, we all headed to the car. Gail and Kristen planned to stay with Abbey and get their cars in the morning.
We dropped them off and said our good nights. Then, Kyle and I were on our way back to his house. The long day caught up with me quickly as I rested my head on the back of the seat.
I awoke to Kyle lifting me from the car.
“I got you. Put your hands around my neck.”
I did as he’d asked and relaxed into the cradle of his neck as he headed into the house. He walked into the bedroom and laid me on the bed. He took off my heels and set them gently on the floor. Kyle went to the dresser and rummaged through my shirt drawer. I could only guess he was looking for my favorite T-shirt.
“It’s dirty. I should have done laundry today,” I said.
He silently walked to his dresser and pulled out one of his own T-shirts. I stood as he came back over to me.
“Turn around,” he said.
I turned, and he unzipped my dress slowly, sliding it off one shoulder at a time. My erratic heartbeat kicked up a notch. He unlatched my bra, letting it fall to the floor, and I could hear his breathing increase. He put the shirt over my head and waited for me to put my arms inside. Instead, I turned around and lifted the hem of his shirt over his head. I unbuckled his belt, undid his button and zipper, and slid my hand into his waistband. In one swift move, I tugged his jeans and briefs down.
He inhaled sharply as I took him into my hungry hands.
“Lily.”
I continued to stroke the length of him. I circled my thumb around the tip, pressing gently. His hands clenched at his sides as a groan left his mouth.
“You’re tired…and you’ve been drinking.” Kyle struggled to keep himself in control.
I had a feeling I could win this fight. I was starting to be able to read him pretty well. “I took a nap, and I feel fine,” I said reassuringly.
His erection was now wet with moisture beading on the thick tip. To get what I was craving, I figured I was going to have to take the lead and persuade him. My sex throbbed with eagerness. Knowing I was already wet and ready for him, I shifted my thin panties over to the side and pressed his erection right on my clit, making slow circles.
He growled throatily as his hand tightened on my hip. “Are you sure?” His voice was strained and hoarse.
“Yes.”
I pushed his chest until his backside was flush against the wall. I parted my lips while stimulating my clit with his erection. Using our perfectly spaced heights to our advantage, I leaned up on my toes and guided just the head of his erection inside my sex, teasing us both. Kyle’s upper body vibrated with a shudder as he exhaled. His hands came up to tightly grip the middle of my thighs. He helped me balance myself as I lowered on my toes, taking him farther inside me.
His hands reached for the back of my panties. He grasped them firmly in both hands as he tugged and ripped them. I gasped. Having him shred my panties was hotter than sin. He freed them from my waist entirely, and they fell to the floor silently.
His eyes blazed into mine, his breath coming and going in deep pants. I nearly convulsed just from the sight of him. As I pushed my pelvis into him, Kyle rocked his hips, forcing me to take him deeper.
While one hand firmly held me, the other came up to grip the nape of my neck. Pulling my face to his, he kissed me feverishly, swallowing my moan.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he commanded, his voice raw.
Cupping my ass with both palms again, he spun us around until my back was pressed against the wall. The coolness of the painted wall felt divine against my heated skin.
His arms slowly lowered my hips, and my forehead brushed his as we both groaned at the connection. I was lost in the overwhelming sensations hammering through my veins. He rocked his pelvis, filling me completely, while looking deep into my eyes.
“Lily…I love being inside you,” he whispered roughly.
I sighed and closed my eyes. I felt the same way, but I kept my thoughts sheltered to myself. I could not suppress my groan though when he kissed my throat as he moved with slow, sensual plunges that took control of my body.
This time was measured and enthralling, overpowering me with feelings that could only be described as live hot wires. Each one was intense and powerful.
“Look at me, Lily.” He gritted his teeth, holding back.
I stared deep into his eyes and could not look away. His burning gaze took me spiraling over the edge. He pulled out, grunting, and then I felt his release dripping down my thigh.
After cleaning up, I picked up Kyle’s shirt and discreetly inhaled his clean scent while putting it on. It was very big, but I smiled at his gesture as I climbed into bed first.
Kyle scooted in behind me and tugged me close to him. “Good night, my sweet, beautiful Lily,” he said, his voice warm and sated. He gently kissed my hair.
“Night,” I whispered, half-asleep.
Before drifting off, I thought about how much had changed in the last couple weeks. I knew then that my life would never be the same again.
I awoke early, relieved at the thought of not having a nightmare. I was also extremely grateful for not waking up with a headache from the previous night’s drinking marathon. Turning to face Kyle, I looked at his handsome features while he was still sleeping. He was so young and carefree. I snuggled in closer to him, wanting to feel him beside me, as I went back to sleep.
The second time I awoke, something wet was licking my hand. I turned my head to see Harley sitting patiently on my side of the bed. Assuming he had to go pot
ty, I got up and walked him to the back door.
After he finished his business, Harley happily followed me back to the bedroom. He returned to his bed as I collapsed onto Kyle’s bed for a second time. I snuggled back into Kyle’s side as his arms wrapped around me.
“Good morning.” He rubbed my hands tenderly. “Sleep well?”
“I did.” I smiled. “Your bed is so cozy.”
Kyle cocked his head toward me. His tousled hair was devilishly sexy for so early in the morning. “It is…but I think your body is cozier to snuggle with.” He was glowing. “And definitely sexier.”
We lay there quietly for a moment.
Then, he sat up a bit and pulled me onto his lap. “I called Dr. Peterson, and she told me she could meet with you sometime today if you still wanted to.”
That was fast. I bit my lip nervously, hesitating, as I put my hands on his stomach. “Okay.”
“And then, I thought maybe we could go to the larger part of the lake and Jet Ski, or we could hang out here and relax,” he suggested kindly. “Your call, beautiful.”
“Here and relaxing is fine. We have dinner tonight, right?” I ran my hands up his arms.
“Ryan and Kate were supposed to join us for a double date, but Ryan texted me last night. He said Kate wasn’t feeling well, so I think it will just be us.” Kyle kissed my cheek and then my lips. “So, I get you all to myself.”
“That sounds terrible.” I giggled. “I hope Kate feels better soon. That must be horrible to be sick and pregnant.”
“I bet so too.” Kyle caressed my arm affectionately. “There is something else I wanted to ask you.”
“What is that?” I asked warily.
“I wanted to know how you feel about starting birth control…so I don’t have to use condoms anymore.” Kyle watched my eyes carefully.
Blood filled my cheeks, and I suddenly felt shy. “Oh…well, I’m already on that.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You are? Why?”
“Well, when my family passed, I started having irregular cycles, and my skin broke out from all the stress.” I shrugged uncomfortably as my fingers made small circles around his navel. “My doctor thought it was a win-win for both cases.”
“Oh. I wish I would have known that last night.” His hips lifted slightly, rubbing his erection against my sex. It thickened and elongated with the motion of his waist. “I would have come inside you…” He gave me his mischievous grin. “Instead of down your thighs.”
Shock waves rolled in an outward motion from my center. “It slipped my mind, or I would have mentioned it. I never even thought about you being inside me without protection.” My eyes widened at how careless I had been.
“I remembered.” He smiled that sexy smile I loved. “I love the things that come out of your mouth when you are otherwise…engaged.” He smirked at me.
I looked at him, bewildered and slightly embarrassed. “Like what?” I had to know.
“I love the way you moan and say my name before you come.” His eyes sparkled.
I blushed a deep red, knowing I had no power, physically or mentally, over my responses to Kyle.
“Your voice gets all breathy, almost like a whisper.” He grinned softly, rocking me on his lap. Then, his smile fled, and his expression darkened with a raw need.
“Oh.” I was unable to find words. My insides writhed and clenched. I was ready from just the way his eyes were devouring me.
“I can tell when you’re about to come by the look in your eyes. Your pupils darken, yet the rest of your eyes grow soft and warm.” His voice became gruff. “It makes me lose control.”
He flipped us over and pinned me beneath him. Desire shot straight to my sex, taking my breath away. The way he made me feel…was exhilarating.
“I love it when you lose control,” I replied.
Curling my hips up, I brushed myself along his erection. A growl came from his chest, making my mouth quirk up into a smile.
Dr. Peterson arrived just as I was pulling Kyle’s brownies out of the oven. When Kyle brought her into the kitchen, all the air left my lungs as nerves took over.
“Lily, this is Dr. Jeanine Peterson,” Kyle introduced us. He walked to my side, put his hand on the small of my back, and caressed me, trying to ease my tension.
“Hello, Lily.” Dr. Peterson stepped forward slowly, sensing my nervousness. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled kindly.
I inhaled a deep breath and reached forward to shake her hand. “Hello, Dr. Peterson. It’s great to meet you, too. I’m sorry. I’m just a bit edgy.”
“I understand, and it’s perfectly normal, Lily.” Her eyes were gentle and sympathetic. “Would you like to go somewhere and talk for a bit?” she asked, as she set her bag down on the counter.
“Sure.” I was hoping the fresh air would help put me at ease.
“Why don’t you both go for a walk? Lily loves to be outdoors, especially by the water.” Kyle turned to face me. “Why don’t you show Dr. Peterson the lake?” he suggested before kissing my cheek.
He sounded like he was trying to help break the ice between us, and I appreciated the gesture.
“Okay, that sounds great. Dr. Peterson, we can head out back this way.” I pointed to the back patio door.
“Sure, and please call me Jeanine,” she offered, shrugging out of her suit jacket that fit her slim figure.
“Okay. Thank you.” I smiled as we both reached the sliding door and stepped through.
“So, tell me a bit about yourself, Lily. Kyle said you have been living in Florida for a few years now. Do you like it there?”
“Yes, I’ve been there for almost three years now. I live in Sanibel, Florida. Sandy beaches, beautiful sunsets, and warm water pulled me in, and I never left.”
“Where are you from originally?” she asked as we continued to walk out to the lake.
Harley had joined us, and he was walking quietly by my side. We seemed to be forming a bond.
“I’m originally from Colorado. I left after my family passed.” My heart began to pound as I dreaded explaining the story to her. It was the only story I hated talking about.
We approached the lake, and I sat down along the shore. Jeanine followed suit. We sat quietly for a moment, just taking in the view.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Jeanine asked softly. “I can see by the look in your eyes that you don’t like to talk about it, so in return, I promise that I will only ask you to tell me the details once.”
I hesitated, but then I decided it was time to take this leap of faith. “Okay.” I took a deep breath, and then I began to tell her the story of the whole evening—dinner, the drive, the headlights and metal, the ambulance, and waking up in the hospital to find out my family hadn’t survived. I even discussed the unbearable days leading up to the funerals that I couldn’t stay around for.
I was shaking by the time I was done. Familiar feelings of shame, regret, and loneliness pulsed heavily in my blood. I tried to remind myself to take deep breaths. Stay here with me, Kyle’s voice rang in my mind. A sad smile formed at my lips as I thought of Kyle. I was amazed that he could comfort me even from afar. I exhaled and pushed the pain out of my mind. I can do this.
“And that is how you ended up in Florida?” Jeanine questioned softly.
“Yes, I needed space and time to try to heal. I couldn’t seem to do that around my aunt and cousins.” I shook my head, feeling a deep sadness. “It was too much, too many memories.”
“Do you ever think of going back? After three years, do you think you are ready yet?”
“Sometimes. Maybe to visit. I don’t think I will live there again. I’m not sure where I want to live permanently,” I said honestly.
“That is understandable. I heard that you are a writer.”
“Yes, I love to write.” I looked out toward the lake, noticing a flock of birds on a broken log. “In Florida, I love nothing more than to sit on the beach with my laptop and create a story. It clea
rs my mind of all the bad thoughts, giving me a sense of peace.”
“And the nightmares?” Jeanine asked, waiting for my reaction.
“They happen all the time. I try to run from them, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. They chase after me and pull me in. Sometimes, I get a break, but it’s not very often. They always come back.”
“Do you ever tell anyone about them?”
“No, it’s not something I like to talk about. I don’t like to talk about any of it. The only person I have really talked to about them is Kyle because he’s been there when I wake up from them, so it’s kind of unavoidable.”
“Why do you feel like you don’t want to talk about it?”
“Well, for one, they are dark and scary, and I prefer not to taint anyone with them. Also, I guess because I feel it’s easier to keep them at bay that way. Talking about the nightmares makes me feel like they are winning.” I looked back out at the water.
Jeanine shifted beside me, taking a minute to absorb everything I had said. “Are you afraid to talk about your family and the accident because you don’t want to see other people’s reactions? Or because you don’t want to talk about them?”
“I guess a bit of both, but it’s more that I don’t want to talk about it. The pain gets to me the most. It starts in my chest and just keeps growing, and then it soon feels as though it’s going to take over my whole body if I don’t push it away.”
“The pain of loss never goes away, Lily. But we do have to learn to live with it and manage our lives around it. Over the course of our life, one of our stages of loss…is acceptance. When the time is right of course.”
“I don’t think I can accept the death of my family.” I shook my head in denial. “It wasn’t just one family member. It was my mom, my dad, and my sister…and somehow, I lived. Why? Why should I live when they didn’t?” I was on the brink of tears.
Jeanine let out a small sigh. “That I cannot answer, and no one can. I believe it is an act of a higher power that we have no control over. I certainly don’t think it was fair, Lily, but you still need to live your life to the fullest. You still need to love, dream, and aspire. You can’t just give up.”