by Alicia Rae
“I’m not giving up. I just don’t know how to move forward,” I said defensively.
“That sounds like giving up to me. You need to decide what you want to start living for. Any ideas?”
“I want to live and be happy in my life. I want to be able to think of my family and all the good memories we shared…without my heart breaking. I want to live a long healthy life. I want all of those things. How am I doing so far?”
“Very good.” Jeanine smiled. “Now, you just need to start doing it.”
I sighed. “I know. I’m trying to have those things with Kyle. I want those things with Kyle, but I fear always seems to grasp a tight hold over me.”
Thinking of Kyle, I glanced over in the direction of the house and then turned back. I felt emotionally empty now, and it was only morning. It was proving to be a very long day. I wanted Kyle. I wanted his sweet, tender touches and comforting arms wrapped around me.
“I hope that you two can work together and make your relationship work. I can see why you two are drawn to each other.” She smiled again. “You are both very similar and different in so many ways. I have known Kyle for quite some time, and I’m happy to see he has met someone. He deserves to be happy, and so do you.”
I blushed at her compliments as I folded my hands in my lap. “Oh, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Lily. I will see you again, right? I think we covered the basics very well today. I know it’s rough, but the worst is over. Next time, we can move forward. Would you be interested in doing that even if it’s just over the phone?”
I thought honestly about her question. I guessed it couldn’t hurt. “Sure, that would be great.”
“And, Lily? There is much more to do before I can give you my professional opinion, but I just wanted to say to keep your head up. Things will get better. We just need to work through them.”
“Okay.” I tried my best to agree that things would get better. “I’ll try.” I let out a strained breath as I stood up.
Jeanine followed, and we began walking back to the house.
“It was great talking with you, Lily. I look forward to doing so again in the near future.”
“You, too. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”
The closer we came to the house, the lighter I felt from our conversation. I had harbored my feelings for so long, and I was glad that I had told my story to someone besides Kyle. I wasn’t sure where I would go from here, but I was elated to have taken the first step.
I walked into the kitchen to see Kyle making ham and cheese wraps. Jeanine said her good-byes and promised to be in contact soon. Kyle thanked her and showed her out.
A moment later, he was beside me, trying to gauge my emotional state. It was probably pretty crappy.
“You’re back.” Kyle closed the distance and kissed me lovingly on the forehead and then on the center of my cheek. “How are you?” he whispered in my ear.
“I’m okay.” I smiled, my heart clenching at his thoughtfulness.
He always seemed to worry about me.
“I thought you might be hungry.” Kyle said. “So, I made us sandwiches. Do you want to eat inside or outside?”
“It’s beautiful outside. Do you mind if we eat on the patio or down by the water?”
“Water sounds great.”
Kyle kissed me once more, like he hadn’t seen me in forever and he needed the contact. The thought warmed me as he went to grab our plates.
It was then that I noticed my brownie platter was half gone. I glanced at Kyle’s guilty face.
“About that…those were really good. You can definitely make more of those anytime, beautiful.”
His boyish grin almost made me forget the brownies—almost.
“You ate all those?” I scolded.
Kyle hesitated. “Harley helped?”
His looked adorable. He couldn’t lie for shit.
“That’s funny…” I tried to bite back my laugh and be serious. “He was with me.”
“Damn. Then, in my defense, it’s your fault. They were too good,” he answered good-heartedly.
“I can see that.” I chortled.
“I had every intention of just making sandwiches, but then I ate one…and another.”
When Kyle smiled broadly, my heart almost stopped.
“You are a great cook by the way.”
I shook my head. I knew his game. He was trying to distract me.
“How can you possibly be hungry for sandwiches when you just ate all those?” I asked incredulously.
“I’m a big guy.” Kyle smirked playfully. “And we are always hungry. Maybe I will even share one.”
I rolled my eyes. “That might be too much trouble for you,” I teased and gestured to the door. “Come on, big guy. Let’s go eat.”
We walked down to the lake and went to the same tree where we had our picnic. Today, it was a bit hotter outside and a tad more humid with no clouds in sight.
Kyle sat and took a big bite of his sandwich wrap. I kicked off my sandals, plopped down next to him, and took a bite of my own. It was a glazed honey ham with lots of cheese and bacon rolled up into perfection.
“This is delicious. Where did you get this recipe?”
“My dad made them for us when we were kids. My brother and I used to fight over the leftovers.” He smiled at the fond memory.
“I bet it was quite a war.” I took another bite and looked up at Kyle.
“Oh, it was. Mom’s apple pie was usually the next fight.” His mouth split into a grin, like a boy who had won a grand prize. “And I would win because I was bigger than Ryan,”
I rolled my eyes at his male ego taking over. “I’m sure you did. What about Abbey?”
“She always got pie, too, because she was the only girl. Mom and Dad made sure we were nice to her and looked out for her. She didn’t enjoy that so much during her teenage years though. Having two older brothers around meant she didn’t have much of a life. I wanted to beat anyone’s ass who even looked at her.”
I laughed. “Poor Abbey.”
“She got by just fine. I still try to keep tabs on her though.”
“She’s a big girl. I’m sure she can handle herself. And I think she has a great sense of character.”
“I think so, too.” Kyle glanced at me with adoration in his eyes. “I’m glad you had a good time with her.”
“I am, too.” I took another bite of my wrap before I spoke my thoughts out loud. “I had this vision of us becoming very good friends. At first, it felt kind of weird to feel that way toward someone I didn’t know at all, but now, I can see it being true.” My words always seemed to flow around Kyle. I wasn’t sure why I’d felt the need to tell him that, but I thought he should know.
“I’m very happy to hear that.”
His eyes sparkled as he took in my words. It made me feel better about telling him.
A brief moment passed as the wind shifted. We had both finished eating, and we were now lying down to get more comfortable as we watched the water. I was on my stomach with my head propped on my forearms while Kyle was on his side next to me.
Harley had joined us at some point, and he was chewing on one of his stuffed animals.
“So, what did you think of Jeanine?” His hand started to stroke my back as his eyes fixated on mine.
“I think she was great.”
“Just great?” he teased as his hand continued to work its magic.
“I think she has great potential.”
Kyle gave me a keep-talking look.
I let out a long sigh. “At first, I was very nervous. I didn’t want to talk about it. I couldn’t decide what to say or not to say. Once I told her about the accident and my nightmares, it got a little easier.” I looked out at the water and then closed my eyes, soaking up the sun.
“Are you going to talk with her again?”
“I think so, but I’m sure most of it will be over the phone, considering the distance.”
His
expression changed as if he were about to say something and then thought better of it. “That’s good news. I think the two of you will get along very well.”
“I think so, too. She also mentioned that she was happy to see you happy. What did she mean by that?” I lifted my gaze to his, wanting to see his reaction.
“She helped me when I first got out of the Army. I had seen a lot of bad things.”
Kyle’s expression saddened, and I could see in his eyes that there was much more to that story.
“I needed help processing it, so I could move forward. Jeanine served in the Army to pay for her education. She worked on the base for a few years, and that’s how we met. We have stayed in contact ever since. When I found out about your past, I was hoping she might be able to help you the way she helped me.”
My pulse sped up at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you for caring and wanting to help me,” I whispered, feeling an ache within my chest. “I’m sorry that I didn’t take it so well when you first approached me.” I was now ashamed of the way I had acted when he had only tried to help.
He caressed my shoulder. “It’s okay, Lily. It took me some time to be ready to talk about it, too. And you’ll talk about it and move forward when you are ready. We all handle things differently. I only ask that you let me help you and that you’ll talk to me, not shut me out.”
I pushed myself forward and gave him a light kiss on the lips. “Thank you, and I’ll try.”
“You’re welcome. Now, have you gotten enough sun for one day? Or do you want to stay out and fry some more?” Kyle chuckled, already knowing my answer. “We have a bit longer before it’s time to start getting ready for our date.”
“Need more sun.” I settled back and closed my eyes while my body soaked up some more vitamin D.
As we walked inside together, Kyle’s phone started to ring.
He quickly glanced at it and then gestured for me to go on without him. “You go ahead and get a head start. I’ll be in shortly. We have to leave in about forty-five minutes. We can’t be late.”
I nodded and walked into his room to give him privacy. I laid my new black dress on the bed and then went into the bathroom to take a shower. I had just put shampoo in my hair when Kyle stepped into the stall behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled into my neck.
“Now, this is a sight not to be missed. I definitely like seeing you naked and wet in my shower, but I can’t wait to see you in that little black dress you put on the bed,” he said before kissing my neck.
His warm breath on my skin made me shudder. He stepped under the water to wet his hair. I reached for his shampoo, rubbed it in my palms, and then started to work the suds into his hair. He tipped his head toward me as he let out a breathy moan. His hair was very soft, and it was the perfect length. I loved it. Kyle closed his eyes as I let my nails gently massage his scalp.
“That. Feels. Good,” he groaned.
Tipping his head back, I reached on my toes and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. Washing someone’s hair was a very simple act, but with Kyle, it felt very intimate. I was also surprised by how normal it felt.
“Your turn,” Kyle breathed, pivoting me in the direction of the stream.
“That’s okay, I can do—”
“Oh no. You washed mine, so I get to wash yours. Not another word. Now, tip your head back,” Kyle commanded.
I felt so exposed, letting a man wash my hair, but feeling his hands on me quickly overruled any self-conscious feelings. He grabbed the conditioner and gently ran his fingers through my hair, working it in with such gentleness. It was my turn to moan as I closed my eyes and let my head fall back.
Kyle hands paused from massaging my head. “Keep that up,” he threatened in an unsteady voice, “and I’m going to take you up against this shower wall.”
I opened my eyes as I blushed at the thought of shower sex. “Won’t we be late?”
“Yes, so behave.” He gave me a gorgeous smirk.
After drying off, I made my way to the bedroom to get dressed. To go along with my outfit, I searched my dresser for the black garter set with a matching black lace bra that Kyle had packed for me.
Kyle walked in and came to an abrupt stop as I was shimmying the dress up my thighs and over my stockings.
He inhaled sharply. “Jesus…”
I continued to raise the dress over my hips and then up my waist. “Do you like it?” I asked nervously, biting my lip while waiting for his response.
“Like it?” Kyle asked incredulously, clearing his throat. “I fucking love it.”
He took another step toward me while his heated gaze looked over my clothing a second time. I then noticed that he was dressed in what was becoming my favorite pair of jeans on him. He had cuffed the sleeves up on his solid black dress shirt, exposing his muscled forearms and the thick veins traveling up them. He looked sexy with his golden brown tan and dampened hair.
I turned around and glanced over my shoulder at him. “Will you zip me up?” My voice was sweet and innocent even though many naughty thoughts were crossing my mind.
Although a part of me was very excited for our date, I could hardly wait to be back home with Kyle, and I was sure he felt the same way.
His fingers skimmed across my back as he swept my hair out of the way. He carefully raised the zipper, and then very slowly, he trailed his hands back down my sides. Gripping my waist, he pulled my backside against his body.
“I look forward to taking this off of you tonight,” he breathed in my ear.
His voice was on edge, and I could tell he was trying to maintain control.
The doorbell rang, pulling us out of the moment.
“That’s the limo.” He glanced at his watch. “He’s early. You have about fifteen minutes before we have to leave.”
“Okay.”
He kissed my cheek before walking out of the bedroom.
I pushed the thoughts of hot, dreamy sex out of my mind and hurried to be ready on time.
As he opened the limo door, Kyle gave me the sweetest, shyest smile that made my heart stop for a beat.
“Ready for your date, Miss Tidsdale?” His voice gave away a hint of nervousness.
“I am,” I said as I got into the limo, and he followed. I blinked, adjusting my eyes to the light inside the limo. “Are you nervous?” I shifted closer to get a better look at his face.
His lip raised on one side, making him look adorable. “Yes. I want this to be perfect and romantic for you. I hope you like it.”
A smile had formed across my face when the word romantic left his mouth. It was sexy to hear it from such a large, testosterone-filled man. My heart swelled as it pumped ferociously at this caring man before me. I was extremely grateful that he was mine.
I cupped his cheek. “Kyle, you have been very romantic and kind and sweet. I love that side of you. And I’m sure this evening will be perfect.” My voice was still full of emotion from his speech. I moved my fingers and kissed his cheek.
His mouth met mine for a passionate kiss before he pulled back and took out a handkerchief. I eyed him skeptically.
“This is for you.” A mischievous look glimmered in his eyes. “And no peeking!” Kyle’s eyebrow rose, implying that I was, indeed, someone who would peek.
“Are you suggesting that I’d cheat?” I pretended to be offended as I placed my hand over my heart.
“I lived with two women for eighteen years of my life, including Christmases and birthdays. I’ve learned that all women are impatient with surprises.” He smirked. “So, I came prepared.” He proceeded to tie the handkerchief around my head.
“True.” I sighed and gave a little pout. “Good point. I surrender.”
He laughed as his thumb brushed across my lower lip and gave a gentle tug. “No pouting.” He closed the gap between our mouths and kissed me. “It gives me dirty thoughts of what I want to do to you, and we have a date first.”
I could feel his breath on my skin as he spoke. I s
ubconsciously leaned forward, wanting him to ravish my mouth.
Kyle chuckled again. “Oh no!” He pulled back. “Seeing you in that dress and now blindfolded is making me hard enough. If I kiss you now, we’ll never make it out of this limo. Up you go, beautiful.”
He took my hand in his firm grasp and guided me out of the limo carefully. We started walking, but then we stopped briefly as he spoke quietly to a few gentlemen. My heels clunked on what sounded like wood as I firmly held on to Kyle’s hand for balance.
We continued walking a short distance before we stopped again. A slight breeze cooled my bare arms, but it felt good after being in the sun all day. When I inhaled deeply, I could smell and hear the water. Catching me completely off-guard, Kyle swooped me up into his strong arms and kissed me gently on the cheek.
“Can’t have you falling, beautiful,” he breathed into my ear.
I could feel the smile on his face.
“Especially in those sexy black heels you have on. I have plans for those later that involve your legs being wrapped around my waist.”
I loved when he spoke to me in that low voice. It was sexy as hell.
He turned and spoke to someone as he carried me. “We’re ready.”
I heard someone respond, “Yes, sir.”
“Perfect timing,” Kyle murmured to himself as he set me on my feet, only to press me firmly against his chest as I was facing him.
The ground beneath my feet started to move, and I grasped Kyle’s waist to hold myself steady. My heart was pounding as I wondered what his next move would be.
Kyle’s hands came up to the handkerchief. Softly in my ear, he whispered, “I want to chase the sunset with you.” His voice was full of promise as his hands removed the blindfold.
I gasped as I took in the magnificent sight while the cool breeze brushed my loose hair strands off my face. We were sailing straight into the horizon. The nightfall had the most vivid shades of blues, yellows, and oranges illuminating the whole sky. The colors were reflected in the water below, intensifying the scenery. I instantly wished I had my camera to capture it. It was picture-perfect.
“It’s beautiful, Kyle,” I whispered, still trying to wrap my eyes around the full beauty of it all.