Paxton's Peace

by Bailey West

  “What is this?”

  “This is what I want to build for your mother.”

  “Huh?”

  “If she wants to move here, let’s build her something that’s hers. That way she can be independent and not feel like a burden. We already have the land. I want to put this close to it.” He swiped left, and a picture of a huge craftsman style home appeared on the screen. “This is for you.” I sat with my mouth open, speechless. “That is if you like it?”

  “What? For me?”

  “Yes, I know you want to be close to your mom, and she’s never had her own home so, let’s kill two birds with one stone.”

  “Paxton, are you serious?”

  “Yes, you will have the final say as far as the layout of the interior, but I had them create this house based on all the houses you said you liked when we were watching those home improvement shows that you like.”

  “You trying to be with me long term Mr. Bluette?”

  “I’m trying to be with you forever, Doctor Callahan.”

  I loved hearing him say that.

  “So, you like it? Do you want to do it? What do you think Ms. Mab…”

  I straddled his lap and kissed him, cutting off his sentence.

  I pulled away and said, “She is going to love it.”

  Paxton

  Having Ms. Mabel with us for a month was nice. Olivia finally let her loose in the kitchen, and I figured out where Olivia got her cooking skills from. Ms. Mabel made some chicken and dumplings. I’d heard of chicken and dumplings before but had never had them. She prepared me a huge bowl that I devoured. They were delicious. She had to make another pot of it for me the next day. It’s one of many dishes that she cooked that I loved.

  Olivia was cleaning the kitchen and kicked both Ms. Mable and me out. Ms. Mable and I went to the media room and watched another home improvement show. She loves these shows as much as Olivia does. Olivia and I showed her the rendering of her house. She cried a lot and said thank you, a lot. She is looking forward to decorating and finally owning her own home.

  “Paxton, thank you for taking care of my daughter.”

  She grabbed my hand and smiled at me.

  “Ms. Mabel, she takes care of me just as much as I take care of her. She is my answer to prayer, my friend, and my peace.”

  “I didn’t know men talked about women in that way. I can see the way you both care about each other. It’s beautiful to see. I don’t know how much she shared with you about her last relationship, but the woman that you live with is not the woman that was in that relationship with him. She was always sad. She smiled because that’s who she is but there was no joy behind her smile. He had drained her of everything that made her, Olivia. Then I saw her at the airport with you, and she may have thought that I was kidding around but I honestly almost did not recognize my own child. From her skin to her clothes, everything is brighter. This is who I thought my daughter was but for selfish reasons, I let her be that other sad, miserable person. When I say selfish reasons, it’s not that I had anything to gain, but I wanted her to have more than me. Namely, someone who was not afraid to claim her in public. Someone who could provide for her, so she didn’t have to work so hard. So, I encouraged their relationship even after she told me that he hit her. I messed up so bad by not listening to her. I’m just grateful that she forgave me because I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself.”

  “I don’t have children, but from what I hear from parents, they all make decisions when it comes to their children that they regret. The thing about Ollie is that she learned how to fight and survive from you. No matter what you told her, she was not going to let him take her down, even if he thought he was. Give yourself a break for the advice and pat yourself on the back because you raised a remarkable woman all by yourself.”

  She took a deep breath and released it.

  “Thank you, Paxton.”

  “No problem! I have to make sure you are okay because if you aren’t, then she isn’t, and she is my priority. Plus, I need some more chicken and dumplings before you leave!”

  She swatted my arm and wiped her eyes.

  After having that conversation with Ms. Mabel, I thought about my biological mother and the conversation I’d had with my Dad. He was right, I knew he was right, but I still hadn’t made the call yet. I settled at my desk in my office and dialed Giselle’s number.

  “Paxton? Is that you?” She said into the phone as soon as she picked up.

  “Yes, Ma’am, it’s me. How are you doing?”

  Giselle refused to upgrade from her flip phone. The screen is so small that she can barely see the caller ID, so she is always guessing the caller. I have volunteered on more than on occasion to send her an upgraded phone but she said that the one she has works just fine.

  “I’m doing good. I just came back from grocery shopping with my neighbor. I get tired of these high-priced Bodegas, so we took a trip to the island and went to one of those nice grocery stores they have.”

  “That’s good. How is the building?”

  She lives in a building that’s equipped for people with physical disabilities. Nigel shot her in the chest. The bullet punctured her lungs, but the doctors were able to save both of her lungs. She came through her surgery okay then suffered a stroke while she was recovering from surgery. The stroke left her with a weakened left side. She can walk, but she experiences weakness on her left side from time to time. When the weakness occurs, she needs help, so the building she lives in provides the help she needs. She loves living in Queens and doesn’t want to leave.

  “It’s good. We had a meeting the other night. Somebody said that they were going to try to raise our rent, but at the meeting, they told us that our rent is stable, so we don’t have to worry about that. That was a relief.”

  I pay my mother’s rent, but she is always concerned about it going up. I guess because the other residents in the building were concerned. I pay her rent a year at a time, so she has nothing to worry about.

  “Yeah, that’s good to hear. Have you visited with any of the family?”

  “It’s been a minute since I’ve visited with anyone except for Grace. You know she comes and takes me to get my hair done and stuff, so we spend a lot of time together.”

  “Why did you stay with Nigel through all of the fighting and abuse?” I didn’t know how to segue into the question so I just asked it.

  “Humph…that’s a good question, Baby. I stayed because I loved him. I stayed because I still held onto the man he was before the drinking. You know he is a Bluette brother, and I snagged him. Roland and Nigel were a lot like you and your brothers; a hot commodity. The girls were soooooo jealous of me, and he only had eyes for me. He was all pretty with that red hair and could play that trumpet better than anyone I’d ever heard. So, I fell for him, and it was true love. I stayed with him because I had hope that he would get better. I stayed because I knew that greatness was in him. I’d experienced the greatness. I knew there was more to come. Things went bad with the people he performed with, they blackballed him, and made it impossible for him to get work even though he was the best trumpeter around.”

  “I remember one time, I called the police on him, and you got so angry with me. It seemed like you were angrier with me than you were with him.”

  “I remember that, too. I wasn’t mad because you called the police trying to protect me. I loved you for that. I was scared because I thought the police would try to take you away from me. That’s what they do to couples who live in public housing and have domestic disputes, they take their kids. I couldn’t have you end up in the system like I was, so I had to scare you enough so you would never do that again.”

  “You were in the system?”

  “Yes, I grew up in public housing with my mother and father. My father was a drinker, a womanizer, and an abuser; both verbally and physically. That’s probably where I developed such tough skin when dealing with Nigel. The police had been called one too many time to our
apartment, and they took my siblings and me away. I was put with a horrible woman who only took in kids for the checks. I was fortunate to move from her right before her child molesting husband got out of jail and was put with an older woman who cared for me until my parents got it together and I was able to go back home. I was away from them for two years. Those were some of the worst years of my life. I couldn’t have you go through that, so I told you never to call the police. After that incident when you called the police, I started talking to Grace about you coming to live with them permanently.”

  “My living with mom and dad was your idea?”

  “Yep. Did someone tell you something different?”

  “No, I just assumed that it was their idea and that they had to convince you and Nigel to let me go.”

  “No, I told them that I thought you would thrive out on the Island with them. They were much better suited to raise you, even though it broke my heart to let you go. I knew that my sister and brother would help you become the man that me and Nigel hoped you would be. Guess what? You did.”

  “Nigel had dreams for me? I thought he wanted me to stay with you and him in public housing to build character.”

  “Oh no, he was just talking. He knew that he was going to let you go as soon as I approached him with the idea. We had planned to get ourselves together, move out of the houses and find us a decent place to rent close to you all out on the Island. Then the shooting happened, and everything changed.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t stay and try to protect you.”

  “What? That thought has never entered my mind! You left like I told you to! You can’t think that you had any responsibility for what happened to me. You got out, and you made something of yourself, that’s all that I wanted. When I felt that hot metal pierce my flesh, my only thought was Lord, please take care of Paxton. Protect him. Love him and help him to succeed. The entire time I was sleep…”

  “Sleep? Are you talking about when you were in the coma?”

  “Yes, it just felt like sleep to me. I dreamed about you and your future. I still pray for you every single day.”

  I wiped my face with my hand. I had let the tears fall, and now I needed to get myself together.

  “I forgave Nigel, and I still love him.”

  “What? Really?”

  “Yes, love isn’t something that you turn on and off. He made a terrible, horrible mistake then made an even larger mistake by shooting himself but I let that go. You have to do the same.”

  “He ruined my life.”

  “Ruined? Really? From where I’m sitting in this rent-free apartment with all of this top of the line furniture and amenities, ruined is a strong word to use. Your life is amazing. It’s what I envisioned for you. You’re a veteran, you have a college degree, you own businesses, and you are a boss. You make me proud.”

  “If he wouldn’t have done that to you, we could have been a family.”

  “We are a family. Not in the traditional sense, but we’ve managed to make it work. Roland preached the other Sunday about forgiveness. He said that forgiveness helps us to be more like Jesus. He forgives us of our sins all the time. We should do the same for others around us. One thing that he said that really stuck with me is that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. Look here, I don’t know about you, but I need constant forgiveness. I’m always messing up. So, I’ve learned to be quick to forgive. Do I forget? Hell nawl, but I do forgive. You need to also.”

  “How?”

  “Talk to Nigel. You may be surprised at what he has to say.”

  “Does it bother you that I call my mom; mom?”

  “How can it? She raised you. From the time you were born, she took care of you. Yes, you lived with me, but she mothered you more than I knew how to. Not that I didn’t want to mother you, I just really didn’t know how. She asked me when you first started calling her mom did it bother me. I told her absolutely not. I just wanted you to get all the love that you deserved, and you have. So, no, I’m fine. You respect me, you take care of me, and you treat me like I’m your mother. That’s all I could ever ask for. I probably don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate everything you do for me but I really do, Paxton.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I don’t mind helping out. Thank you for talking to me. I have to go. I will talk to you soon.”

  “Alright, Baby.”

  I disconnected the call.

  I don’t know why it took so long for me to have that conversation with her. I never knew all the details. Hearing that she was the one that wanted me to move with my parents made me feel like a piece of my childhood was given back to me. I always thought she and Nigel were always unfit so my parents asked for me but that’s not true at all. She worked with my parents to make sure I way okay. That definitely changes things.

  Olivia

  My mother is returning to Savannah with new clothes, new luggage, and new handbags. Both Paxton and I spoiled her while she was here. All I’ve ever wanted for her is happiness. She relaxed and smiled her entire trip. I made sure of it.

  “Mommy are you sure you don’t want to leave some of these things here? You are coming back.”

  I was in her room helping her pack. She is flying back to Georgia tomorrow. She is planning on finishing out the year with the Belton’s and then retiring. We will all live in the condo until the houses are complete.

  “No, I have to take my stuff back and show it off. You and Paxton took such great care of me. Thank you. I’m proud of you, Baby.”

  “Thank you, Mommy. I’ve always been proud of you.”

  “Even when my advice almost got you killed?”

  I stopped folding the clothes and looked at her.

  “What did you say?”

  “Mrs. Belton told me everything. She told the whole story after I told her that I gave Mason your new phone number.”

  “Mommy, you didn’t…”

  “No, don’t make excuses for me. Mrs. Belton called me a few curse words and slapped some sense into me. I was stupid, and I almost got you murdered. You couldn’t come to me because I was so wrapped up in a fairy tale thinking that you could have with Mason what I didn’t have with your Daddy. Mason was not the man for you just like your Daddy was not the man for me, he never was. I wanted your dad to be. I mean I really, really wanted him to be. I thought that even though he hid me, that he loved me. I was so very wrong. You know I finally got up the courage after all these years to get him out of my life.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes, I told him that it was over and if he came by or contacted me again not only was I going to file child support on him and get back pay for twenty plus years, but I was going to show up at his family’s home and tell them what was going on. He didn’t believe me and stopped by my house anyway but, I didn’t answer the door. The next day was Sunday. I went to him and Armelle’s church. You know he is like a senior deacon or trustee at their church. I walked right in and sat next to her in the pew. He almost passed out.”

  “Mommy!”

  “What? I told him it was over. He thought I was playing, now he knows I am not. I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry that you had to live with that horrible man and I encouraged it. I’m sorry that you had to hide who you were to keep my secret. Olivia, I am proud of you, though. I’m proud that you are living your life on your own terms. You didn’t follow my footsteps or listen to my terrible advice. I am so very proud of you, Baby.”

  We hugged each other and cried.

  “Alright, enough of that. I have to get packed and get back to show off my new things.”

  We invited the family over for dinner and game night. Zora was about to give birth to baby Peanut soon, and the ABA construction was complete. Everyone’s lives were about to go into hyperdrive, but we still tried to make sure we spent time together as a family. The Sunday dinners were still a priority, but Roman and Nette had been traveling a lot lately, so we weren’t together as much.

  “Hi, Ollie,” Zeke an
d I hugged as he and Zora stepped off the elevator.

  “Hey, Girl,” Zora and I embraced even though her stomach was in the way. She was a beautiful pregnant woman. Her hair was thick and healthy, her skin was glowing, and her boobs were enormous. Zeke enjoyed mentioning them often.

  “Where is BJ?” I asked looking behind them.

  “He’s with my dad and his new friend.”

  “New friend?”

  “Yes, Girl. My Daddy moved here and didn’t waste time finding him a lady friend.”

  “Where did he meet her?”

  “At church. It’s Minister Helen, you know the one with the blonde hair that is in charge of the pulpit.”

  “The “O clap your hands” lady?”

  I called her that because every time she stands up at the podium she says, “Oh clap your hands all ye people and shout unto God with the voice of triumph.” The audience always claps and always screams. At first, I thought it was weird, but now I clap and scream with everyone else. I thought it was a saying that she had made up but it’s actually a scripture in Psalms. I read it in my children’s bible.

  “Um hum. They have been hanging tough. She cooks dinner for him, and they go to other churches to visit and everything.”

  “You don’t say,” I laughed.

  “Yeah, so BJ knows that when he is with Grandpa and Ms. Helen, he is going to get whatever he wants.”

  “Braeden is smart, and Papa Chambers didn’t waste any time!”

  “He didn’t but he deserves to be happy. After everything that we all have been through, I enjoy having him around and seeing him smile.”

  Zora shared with me the reason the whole family went back to Saint Louis to meet with her family. She lived through so much and still managed to come out on top. I admire her tenacity.

  “Hey, everybody,” Zanetta said as she and Roman stepped off the elevator.

  “Hi, Nette. Hi Roman.” I hugged them both.

  “I made some biscuits like you asked,” Zanetta said as she handed me the large plastic container.