Jake’s Silence

by Joy Blood

  “That sounds…rough,” I say, cringing. Getting shoved to the ground for sport didn’t sound appealing at all.

  “Yeah,” he chuckles, “it can be. But it’s also a hell of a rush. Plus, I get to take people out.” He smirks, then glances out the window, accessing the weather. “Looks like the rain has let up. I’ll go out and see if I can’t get your car open.” Before I can say anything further, he hops out and heads to the back of his truck, opening a large diamond plated toolbox. Slamming it shut, he heads to my car, and I jump out—probably not as graceful as I would have liked, but I'm out nonetheless. I shut his door and start toward him right as my car door swings open.

  “How did you do that so quick?” He turns, flashing a long, thin, silver tool.

  “Handy to carry one of these around. Didn't know if I had the one for this model. Some have different ends on them,” he explains, showing me the hook-like cut out at the end.

  “So, you just happen to have some sort of car unlockey thing?” I ask skeptically, getting a deep laugh from him.

  “Yeah. I kind of have a habit of locking myself out of my truck,” he admits. “Promise I don’t go around jacking people’s shit out of their vehicles. As fun as that sounds…” he explains, and I laugh out loud.

  “All right then. Well, if you change your mind, that sounds like it would make for a fun night,” I reply, surprising myself with my bold sarcasm.

  “You are fun shit when you open up, Kimi. Think about coming to the game this weekend. It’ll be fun. See you later.” Nodding once, he jogs back to his truck.

  Two

  Kimi

  When I get back to my dorm, I blow out a relieved breath, grateful I’m alone. I kick my shoes off, then stop in my tracks, realizing I’m alone, alone, and not just for the moment. Everything on my roommate’s side is completely gone, like the neatly made bed with a purple comforter was never there when I left this morning. Now there's just a mattress with a black suitcase and a box sitting on top.

  Shrugging it off, I sit down at my desk and pick up the picture I brought with me—one of all five of us. Us being my family. Vin, my dad, Ellie, my mom, and Anthony and Dawn, my siblings. Anthony is three and Dawn is one. They are the cutest kids on the planet. My heart aches. I miss them so much. Really, it’s only been three days, but they are my whole life. Though Vin and Ellie aren’t my parents through blood or even on paper, they are the two people I refer to as my parents.

  The door opening pulls me from my homesick state, causing me to look up at the girl walking through it. We make eye contact and both give a polite smile. “Hey. I'm Ari. I was just assigned this room this morning. I didn't quite get unpacked. Apparently my roommate didn't like me.” She shrugs.

  “I guess mine didn't either,” I admit, bringing us both into burst of nervous laughter.

  “Well, don’t mind me. I pretty much keep to myself. And I don’t have a boyfriend, so you won’t catch me sucking face when you walk through the door.”

  “Good to hear. The sucking face part, that is,” I clarify. “I'm Kimi,” I introduce myself as she comes farther into the room, going for her box first. She’s a few inches taller than my five-foot-three, with short black and purple hair. Reminds me of Ellie’s hair, only hers has red streaks.

  “That’s a cool name. Native?” she questions, her voice starting to sound similar.

  “Yeah. Where are you from?” I ask, curious.

  “Small town on the high-line. Montana.”

  “I thought your accent sounded familiar. Are you from the Rez?”

  “Yeah. Only white girl in my class,” she chuckles, but it sounds forced. “Good times,” she says. “What about you? Where are you from?”

  “Montana,” I admit without thinking.

  “Cool,” she says, continuing her task of unpacking. “Imagine that, the two of us getting paired together.”

  “Yeah,” I agree as we fall into a comfortable silence, her unpacking and me finishing up my assignments for the day.

  Hours later, my phone rings, the chime letting me know it’s Ellie. “Hey, Mom.” It still feels weird calling her mom, but it has only been two years since she became my mom. She and Vin came into my life when I needed it most. Well, Vin mostly. He saved me from the shit hand I was dealt right after the first shitty hand I experienced.

  “How are you, Kimi? How was the first day?” she asks, her smile evident in her voice.

  “Great. I just finished the ton of homework the professors decided to dump on us and got a new roommate,” I tell her. Ari stepped out a few minutes ago, or else I wouldn't be talking so openly about her.

  “Oh, what happened with the first one?”

  “Must not have wanted to room with a Native,” I laugh, and Ellie sighs.

  “Well, if that is the case, she’s a bitch and doesn't deserve to be in the same room as you,” she states. “I'm so proud of you for doing this, I hope you know that.”

  “I know. And I'm glad I'm here, but I miss you guys. How are the kids?”

  “Oh, you know them. Now that Dawn learned how to walk, she’s unstoppable, and Anthony’s right there to show her his destructive ways,” she laughs. “Gin was here yesterday. He and a couple guys came through on a run. They’re talking about re-constructing the chapter here in Cental.”

  “Oh. I see.” I don’t want to ask, and I know she can hear it in my voice.

  “He didn’t come,” she tells me, and that’s all I need to know.

  “Oh. Uh…” I stutter through a fake yawn. “I'm beat, Mom. I'm going to get some sleep. They’ll probably pile even more homework on us tomorrow.” I force a laugh.

  “All right. I’ll call tomorrow then. Love you, Kimi. Goodnight.” I respond the same and end the call, sucking back the tears that threaten to spill over. He doesn't care. It’s why he left in the first place. I need to get on with my life. Jake Kerr never existed. Was never a small sliver of hope in my life when I needed it most. He was never my first kiss from a man I actually wanted one from. He was…never.

  * * *

  The next day is much like the first, minus the being tackled to the ground. Though, I did see Zeke again, along with Blake, who I now know plays football with Sam. For whatever reason, the two of them together bother me. Just a bad vibe, I guess. I also found Ari in a couple of my classes. We seemed to hit it off pretty well last night, and today, we’ve been inseparable. She’s funny and brings out my sarcasm, which she seems to enjoy.

  “Look who it is, the dike. And this must be her new girlfriend,” a snotty voice says, breaking into our conversation. I look up to see a snooty looking girl similar to how Sadie looked yesterday.

  “Kimber, let’s just go,” someone from behind her says. Looking over, I find Kimber with four girls standing behind her, their hair all pulled back in tight, high ponytails and wearing matching black stretchy pants with maroon and silver tops. Cheerleaders.

  Sadie’s standing in the back, and offers a small, apologetic smile before looking down to the ground as Kimber narrows her eyes.

  “Did I say you could talk? Shut it, Sadie, or you’ll find yourself benched at tomorrow’s game,” Kimber scolds. Sadie blanches, then nods, a soft apology leaving her lips almost involuntarily.

  “Kimber, so nice to see you making your rounds and spreading your bitchiness to everyone. Not much has changed since last year, has it?” the familiar baritone sounds out from behind Ari and me.

  “Hi, Sam,” Kimber grumbles. “I was just saying hello to the happy couple.” Glaring down at Ari, she gives her a little bitch of a smirk, then saunters off with her entourage following dutifully behind her.

  “What a fucking bitch,” Sam says under his breath as he takes a seat opposite us.

  “Tell me about it,” Ari mutters.

  “Hey there, Kimi. Who’s your friend? I like this one,” he says, holding out his hand to Ari.

  “Oh, this is my roommate, Ari.” She gives a soft smile and takes his hand.

  “Sam. Nice t
o meet you, Ari. Digging that purple, but shouldn't it be maroon? You know, school spirit and all?” he chuckles as he takes his hand away to unwrap his sandwich.

  “Yuck. Never been much of a maroon fan. Or a school spirit fan, for that matter,” she admits.

  “So, you won’t be the one to get Kimi to go to a game this weekend?” he questions, mouth full of half-chewed ham and bread.

  “That would be a no.”

  “Too bad. I think you two would have fun.” He grabs a bottle of water to wash down the bite, then takes another one, this one bigger than the last.

  “What’s the deal with Kimber? She usually doesn't make it her mission to single someone out unless she has a problem with them,” he asks, shoving more sandwich into his mouth. God, no wonder he’s so big. The guy eats like a horse.

  “She’s just a bitch. Thinks I'm gay.” She shrugs, and Sam chokes on his bite.

  “Are you?” he asks as his coughing subsides.

  “That is none of your business,” I scold, and they both laugh.

  “It’s fine, Kimi. I don’t care. That bitch is the only one who does,” Ari says, tipping her head toward where Kimber went.

  “She probably just has a hard-on for you. Heard Blake can’t get it up for her.” He laughs, and we both join in. “It’d be a shame if you were. For me.” He gives her a wink and rises to stand, his garbage from his devoured sandwich clutched in his hands. “Think about the game, ladies. Wouldn't mind a couple hotties cheering for me up in the stands.” He winks again, then walks away, and I’m left stunned.

  “Well, he is—”

  “Abrupt?” I interrupt, getting a giggle from Ari.

  * * *

  Against our own protests, Ari and I decide going to the game is something we should do—at least once. Neither of us having been to one before, so we have no idea how to dress or what the hell we’re doing. It’s cooler outside, so we pile on layers.

  “You sure we should go?” Ari asks for the fifteenth time.

  “Ah, yeah, we should?” I state, though it sounds more like a question. “Let’s go. If it sucks, we won’t do it again. How does that sound?” I ask, getting a nod of agreement from her.

  “Let’s go.”

  Three

  Jake

  The weather in Montana is unpredictable. It could be bright and shiny one minute, then snowing the next. It’s not snowing right now, just a good, heavy rain. Shit, we were all outside enjoying the hot day not two seconds ago without a cloud in the sky. Now, we’re all gathered around the table for church, Gin to my left and Sage to my right. Since the three of us came here about two years ago, we’ve been trying to gather enough members and resources to restart the club back in Cental.

  Couple years ago, our club got shot up by our own damn brothers from the Chicago chapter, leaving only Gin, our president at the time, alive. They made an example of him, and left him still breathing so he could pass along the message that our club was no more and their new boss, Avil Cantrell, was now in charge. That prick had been a thorn in our sides for the better part of five years. Ours meaning my, Vin’s, Ellie’s, and my brother, Finn’s. My brother didn’t get out of it alive, though. Still feels like a part of me is missing when I think about him.

  “All right, all those in favor of sending Gin, Sage, and Rock down to kickstart the Cental chapter once again, say aye,” Eagle says, putting it to a vote. Of course, it gets passed. The brothers want that club up and running again. A combined “aye” sounds out across the table and Eagle slams down the gavel. “All right then. Now, who has a nomination for Pres?” he asks the now hushed table.

  “Nominate Gin for Pres,” I hear someone say.

  “Gotta reject that one, brother.” Gin stands to his feet, catching me off guard. “We all know Rock is our guy. That’s my vote.”

  “All right then. Those in favor?” Eagle asks again, getting the same response as the last vote. Gin sits back down without looking my way or giving a semblance of an explanation.

  “It ain't for me anymore,” he tells Sage in a hushed tone while looking forward at the table. He hasn't quite been the same since everything went down. Hell, I don’t blame the guy either. The shit he went through that day was fucked up.

  “Who is your VP, Rock?” Eagle slides the president patch across the table accompanied by the vice president patch. Rock takes them without a sound and passes the VP patch over in front of me. Raising my head, I look the guy in the eye, giving him my silent question. Why me?

  “Know you don’t want to be going back to Cental, but it’s time, and I need you to have my back. You got it, brother?” Picking up the patch, I nod, still shocked, but accepting of the position.

  “Good. Any opposed?” Eagle asks. When no one opposes, he continues. “Sergeant at arms?” he asks, handing out another patch, which Rock slides over to Sage, who accepts it with a nod. “Good shit. You guys work the rest out. We all know who’s going down there with ya and wish you all the best of luck.” He slams down the gavel once again, ending church. Seems the four of us plus three others are heading to Cental—the one place I don’t want to go, but can’t stop thinking about.

  “You right with this, brother?” Gin asks as we walk out of the room and make our way to the bar for a much-needed drink. He knows I don’t like talking in front of everyone. Swallowing a couple times to relieve the dryness from my throat, I try to answer.

  “For the club. I’m. Good,” I rasp out in a chopped whisper, swallowing after each word. My voice is barely there, still fucked since I took a bullet fragment to the neck a couple years back, so I try to avoid talking a lot or in front of more than one person. “Thought,” I swallow, “you wanted Pres?” I ask him. Gin has known me long enough to know exactly what I'm trying to say even if it’s just a couple scratchy words. Sometimes, it just hurts too damn much to speak. Doctors tell me it’s the vibration or some shit that causes the discomfort and my speech will get better if I keep exercising my vocal chords. Haven’t put that one to the test. Keeping my throat hydrated seems to help in a pinch.

  “Yeah. Just don’t feel right, you know? Going to be hard enough going back there,” he admits, taking a seat at the bar. A prospect promptly sets out glasses to pour our whiskey, and I nod in agreement.

  “Hard,” I rasp out before throwing my shot back. The burn slides down my throat, washing away the discomfort.

  “Yeah. Especially now that girl of yours is legal.” My gaze snaps to his. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re lucky, Jakey Boy,” he says, slamming his second shot back.

  “Yeah?” I scoff, my voice dripping with sarcasm. He nods for another, drinking that one down before looking me dead in the eye, serious and stoic.

  “She’s alive,” is all he says, then he gets up and walks away, leaving me sitting there alone, realizing I’ve been an ass. One hell of an ass.

  * * *

  “Here’s the plan. Me and the boys are heading down to Cental to set up shop. Jake is headed to Siberia and will meet up with us in…what? Three days?” Rock questions, falling into his role as Pres. Back in Chicago, he was president until his own brothers—our brothers—turned on him, locking him up and beating him like a damn dog. All while his old lady, Buggs, was here in Montana giving birth to their son, Mason. Cute little shit he is. Making eye contact, I nod in response so he knows I heard.

  “Everything squared away with that shit?” he asks, referring to the run I'm going on.

  “Yeah. Good,” I say, my voice barely loud enough for him to hear. But he does hear, and gets that I'm ready. Because I am. No problems at all. Just a simple drop. Token of appreciation to a club in Idaho.

  It was just last year when I found myself in a fuck of a pickle with a rival club’s Vice President, Premo. Being rained down on by the wrath of the devil himself, we banded together and found ourselves an ally in each other. Diablo, the former leader of the Pardaѐ gang, had decided to rid himself of Premo by making it look like the Riders were responsible. His plan did
n’t go over too well when we were both left alive after the onslaught of gunfire that mowed down the warehouse we had been meeting in.

  Our club, as well as theirs, suffered great losses that day. After that, Premo and I were assumed dead until the members of the Pardaѐ gang started dropping like flies. One by one, we made our way through the gang together, forging a name for the both of us, until we got to Diablo. Our bad blood had been put to ground along with the devil, gaining our club an ally.

  “Let’s ride out, boys,” Rock says. Whoops and hollers sound out all around from the brothers as we straddle out bikes. Looking over my shoulder, I find Rock standing by his next to Buggs with their boy wrapped around her hip. Watching him kiss his family goodbye and get on his bike, I think back to what Gin told me. She’s alive. Too bad that doesn’t mean she can be mine.

  Four

  Kimi

  The night is cold and nips at my nose as the screaming fans surround Ari and I in the stands. We were lucky and got a spot right up behind the team. Sam found us right away, waving like a mad man at us both.

  There are ten seconds left, and the crowd is going crazy. Throughout the game, I’ve picked up enough on the process to know our team has the ball and they’re so close to scoring a touchdown, even I’m clenching my teeth.

  Zeke yells out something, the players move around, then the ball is tossed back to him. He grabs ahold and runs back a couple steps, looking for someone to pass it to when he finds Blake open. Holding my breath and anxiously gripping Ari’s hand, I watch as Sam plows into an opposing player before he gets to Zeke, giving him enough time to throw the ball. The entire crowd takes a combined breath and holds it in as the ball soars right to Blake in the touchdown area. Two of the other team’s players run at him as Blake jumps and snatches the ball into his hands. He falls to the ground, and the crowd erupts into screams and cheers near deafening.