Jake’s Silence

by Joy Blood

  “Always is, brother.”

  “Don’t need nobody telling me how much I can and can’t drink.” I decide to let it go and walk out the door. He’ll cool off after a while. Always does. Trying to talk to him right now isn’t worth getting into a fist fight.

  “Gin still fuckin’ hammered?” Sage asks when I walk into the garage. I nod, then go over to my tools to get started. “Shit needs to come to an end. Guy’s unstable these days. You ain’t going to take him on that escort job with us, are you?”

  “No. Said something ‘bout the drinkin’ too. Didn’t take it well,” I say, wishing I hadn’t finished off that bottle of water so fast.

  “Suppose he wouldn’t. Doesn’t fuckin’ matter, though. You’re his VP. You say jump, he asks from where. Shit ain’t goin’ to fly any more. I know the man got hit hard with Brit, but we all lost someone that day. Our fuckin’ family, our brothers…” he trails off.

  He had been particularly close to a club whore named Lisa back then. She died that day too. Fuck. I remember walking into the club that day, seeing our brothers and the women riddled with bullet holes. The fuckin’ smell of blood and shit every-fuckin’-where. I grit my teeth at the memory and nod in agreement. We all lost a little part of our lives that day, along with the departed.

  “I’ll keep an eye on ‘em.”

  “Me too, brother,” he says before he walks away, both of us going about our day.

  * * *

  Full of grease and sore as shit from being contorted into various positions to work on a Suburban, I start my walk back to the clubhouse. I’m the last one left outside, so I close the bay doors and make sure the lights are off. Walking across the way, I look down to see the front gate shut and manned by two prospects. Quiet. I take a deep breath of the cool night air before going inside. Gin still hasn’t moved from his place at the bar, though his stance has changed some. He’s leaning in closer, his shoulders slumped. The bottle he had been working on is nearly gone and he has since taken off his bandana, exposing the scarring on his scalp—a little souvenir from the ambush. His greasy looking hair is slicked back and his long beard is just barely touching the bar top. He looks rough, and should have gone to his room hours ago. Walking over, I take a seat next to him.

  “Save it. I’m-m ‘bout d-d-done,” he slurs, barely lifting his heavy eyes up to look at me. I’m about to tell him I’m going to drag his ass to his room when the front door opens and Sage comes walking in with a couple women I haven’t seen before. Gin turns, anger igniting. “Fuck no! That bitch ain’t welcome here,” he shouts.

  “Fuck off, G. Go pass out in your room,” Sage shouts back, wrapping his arms around the two blondes with legs so damn long, they look like they could be on stilts. Though, with the height of their heels, I suppose they technically are. Even with the artificial height, Sage still towers above them.

  “Don’t tell me to fuck off. I’m your—”

  “My what? You ain’t my Pres no more. Barely a fuckin’ brother. Shit, look at you, man. Brit would be pissed if she saw what you’ve done with yourself.”

  Gin’s face fills red with anger. I’m about to pull him back, but even in his drunk state, he’s too quick. Slamming into the man who has been his brother from day one, Gin and Sage fall to the floor in a fury of fists and curses. Fucking hell.

  I move with a couple of the guys to pull them apart, but Sage stands, pushing Gin away from him. Before Gin can recover, Sage lands a hard punch on his jaw that I can feel from where I’m standing. Gin falls back to the floor, his eyes wide, stunned.

  “I said that bitch wasn’t welcome here!” he yells, pushing to sit up, his hand rubbing the side of his face.

  “I just wanted to come by and tell you how sorry I am about Br—” the woman in question says, baring one hell of a backbone. Either that or just being fuckin’ stupid.

  “Fuck no! You don’t say her fuckin’ name! Not out of your fuckin’ mouth, you vile whore!”

  “I know you’re still hurting, brother, but this shit needs to stop.” Rock’s voice comes into the room. “Sober the fuck up and we’ll talk about this mess tomorrow.” Bending, I help a drunk and pissed off Gin from the floor. Taking his dangling arm around my shoulder, I pull him to his feet. He shoots one last glare at Sage and the woman, then allows me to take him to his room.

  I let his limp body fall to the mattress, and back up a couple feet, looking over him to make sure he’s okay. “Why did they have to take her from me?” His voice is pained, to the point it almost hurts me too.

  “Don’t know, G,” I answer, but he’s already dead to the world. I leave him there and go to my own room, dropping onto my bed still fully clothed. I stare at the ceiling for a while, then decide I need a shower to wash away this fucked day. Pulling out my phone, I shoot Kimi a text and go back to my task.

  Showered and still no text from her, I wander back out into the clubhouse, knowing sleep won’t come. Rock is sitting at the bar now, and I slide onto the stool next to him. “Get him all tucked in?”

  “The bitch?” I ask, getting straight to it.

  “Lisha. Guess she was a hang around. Had a thing with Gin and his old lady.” A thing? My brows draw in.

  “Brit?”

  “Nah. His ex-wife. Can’t remember the woman’s name.” When I came to the club, Gin’s wife was already gone and there was no woman named Lisha around, just Brit. I was prospecting when he found out they were having a kid. There was one hell of a party that night. Then, just a couple months later, we found her lifeless in the bed they shared, with him knocking on death’s door on the floor beside her. Won’t forget that image for as long as I fuckin’ live.

  My phone pings, pulling my attention from Rock.

  Key: Hello to you. I was studying and fell asleep. Gah, I’m so tired. Is it sad that I’ve only been in school for a month and already need a vacation? Lol

  I chuckle. “Night, Pres,” I announce, then head back to my room without waiting to for a reply to lay on my bed like some bitch to text my woman.

  Eighteen

  Kimi

  It’s Saturday morning and I’m waking up in Jake’s arms. He was there when I walked out of my last class, and without a thought, I got on the back of his bike and we rode off. First, we stopped somewhere to eat, then we came to the duplex—my second home.

  Last night, we sat on the couch and watched a movie on the new TV he acquired at some point. It reminded me of the brief time I had spent at the clubhouse before he brought me to Ellie, though the movies we watched there were different. More violence. Jake had said he had a mental list of movies I needed to see—a rite of passage or something. Last night, we watched The Sandlot, and the next one on the list is Stand by Me. I’m looking forward to watching that tonight.

  I step out of the bathroom and pad out to the kitchen in nothing but panties and a tank top. Jake still hasn’t made another move to touch me like he did the first night I spent here, and I’m beginning to get frustrate. I’m not sure if it’s because of my past, or he’s just being noble or something, but I’m starting to go crazy.

  He’s already up, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, boots, and his cut. He looks ready to leave. “Did you want me to get ready to go?” I ask, my eyes moving to the mug he has out for me on the countertop.

  “Take your time.” He steps closer, placing a quick kiss on my lips. “Gotta fix something on the bike,” he says, walking out to the garage.

  I go about mixing my cocoa and drink it down while I send a text off to Ari and Ellie, just to check in and say hi. When neither of them respond, I go back to the bedroom to find my jeans still crumpled up on the floor where I left them. I pull them on, locate the sweatshirt I was wearing, and slip my boots on, making a mental note to grab clothes to leave here so I have stuff to actually get dressed in.

  Walking out to the garage, Jake stands, brushing off his jeans. His cut is off and hanging on a hook I hadn’t noticed before. “Ready?” he asks, grabbing his cut from the wall and pull
ing it over his broad shoulders.

  “Yeah. Where are we going? I could really use a shower and a change of clothes,” I admit, chewing on my nail. His eyes catch the action, and I quickly bring my hand back down.

  “Take one here.” He shrugs.

  “I’m not putting dirty clothes back on,” I complain, sounding like a baby. Laughing, he nods toward his bike.

  “Let’s go,” he says with a smile, then presses the button for the door to open.

  The wind whips around us as we fly through the streets, headed back to my dorm. Parking, he leans forward for me to get off the bike, then climbs off. I give him a questioning look as I put my helmet away. “Change. Taking a trip today.” He nods toward the dorms, taking hand and tugging me toward the front door. When we get inside, he pushes me forward, silently telling me to lead the way. Walking up to the second floor, I open the door and walk inside, only to turn around just as fast, pushing Jake back out on my way. “I’m so sorry!” I shout to Sam and Ari over my shoulder, mortified at walking in on them…not cuddling.

  “Oh crap. Sorry, Kimi! I should have put like a hat on the door or something,” Ari says, chuckling at my reaction. “It just sort of…happened.” Now Sam and Ari are full on laughing.

  “Decent now,” Sam’s gruff voice confirms, and I turn back to see Ari wrapped in her robe and Sam with only his jeans on.

  “Take it you stayed the night?” I ask as I busy myself with gathering clothes to change into.

  “Yep,” Sam answers as Jake gets comfortable on my bed.

  “I'm going to run down and shower real quick. Will you wait?” Ari asks Sam as sits back down on her bed.

  “Yeah, babe. Want to talk with Jake a second anyway. You and Kimi head on down.” I snap my head to Sam, my brows furrowed. “No worries, Keems. Just guy stuff.”

  I give Jake a look before I leave, and he stares back at me with his reassuring glance. Grabbing my caddy, I follow Ari to the showers, unsure of what to say.

  “Talk, Kimi. I know you want to,” she demands before flicking on her chosen shower. I do the same, and decide to let it out.

  “Were you two…?” This makes her laugh.

  “No. We hadn't gotten there. Just a little heavy petting. The man has magical fingers,” she says with a giggle before stepping into the shower.

  Magic fingers. If that’s a thing, Jake has a magic mouth. I just wish he would use it again. I step into my shower stall and run my hands over my heated skin, thinking of the way he touched me with his hands, his mouth.

  “Hey, girl, do you have any conditioner? Mine is out,” Ari asks, bringing my thoughts from Jake.

  “Yeah. Here.” I hand over the white bottle of coconut conditioner. She says her thanks as she starts humming some song I’ve heard a time or two. I listen for a bit, then start singing along with her humming.

  I belt out the lyrics and we both make music in the showers, laughing. I really do like this girl. This is what it must be like to have a girlfriend.

  When we get back to the room, Sam is telling Jake some kind of joke, and as Jake listens, his body visibly shakes in silent laughter.

  “Gross, Sam. Seriously? You are a pig,” Ari scolds as the door closes behind us.

  “Sorry, babe. You weren't supposed to hear that. Guy talk,” he says, like that explains everything.

  “Still gross.” She wrinkles her nose and smacks his arm playfully.

  “Key?” Jake whispers when I'm close enough.

  “Yeah, I'm ready,” I say with a smile and go to the door, but before I can open it, he pulls me back and slips a sweatshirt over my head, making sure the hood is covering me.

  “Cold. Wet hair,” he explains. I towel dried my hair, then French braided it down do my shoulder. Suppose it might get a little cold on the bike.

  “Yeah. Thanks.” I smile at him, and he places a quick kiss on my lips, making my world disappear completely.

  * * *

  We speed out of town, and I already know where we are going without asking. He’s taking me back to Cental. Only, instead of driving to my home with Ellie and Vin, he takes me to his home with his brothers—the club. I'm excited to see what the place looks like. Ellie mentioned they hired a bunch of people to get it built in, like, a week. Apparently building an entire MC clubhouse from the ground up can be done in no time.

  Just like when I had been here the years before, the massive front gate is closed. The guy manning it looks somewhat familiar, but I can’t place him. I know a few of the members from the chapter in Rhino who came with—Rock, Jake, Gin, and Sage—but I’m not sure where I’ve seen this guy. I absently wonder if Buggs and her little one are here. I haven't seen them in quite a while. Her husband, Rock, is Vin’s half-brother. Long story, I'm told. All I know is Buggs, in some roundabout way, is family to me. Either way, blood or not, I love her and her baby boy like they are family. For a fleeting moment, I wonder what that would be like, to have blood relatives I love.

  When Jake pulls up next to the other bikes, I see a familiar car parked outside the new one level building. It stretches out farther than the last clubhouse and looks like an oversized log home. It’s beautiful.

  Anthony and Dawn are chasing each other around a picnic table near an area that looks to be designated for kids with three men standing by, one being Vin.

  “Kimi!” Ellie calls out, bounding up to give me a giant hug. “I have missed you so much.”

  “It’s so good to see you! I didn’t realize how homesick I was until we started driving this way,” I say, squeezing her back.

  “Hi, Jake.” Elie smiles at him as she pulls away, then looks back to me, her eyes soft, knowing. I look up at Jake to see him gazing down at me. “Thank you,” I say, getting a curt nod from him, then a small grip on my elbow before he walks toward the big garage.

  “How many are they starting with?” I ask, noticing more men near the garage. Ellie and I start walking to where the kids are playing as she answers.

  “They started with seven. Couple prospects, too. But four nomads showed up a few days ago. I guess they decided to plant some roots for a bit until things got up and running again.”

  “That’s cool. Is Buggs here? I haven't seen her or little Mase in so long,” I say as we reach the picnic table and sit down. When Anthony sees me, he runs straight for my knees, slamming into me with such force, I'm glad I'm sitting down. “How’s my boy?” I ask, pulling him up on my lap and hugging him tight.

  “Kimi, you are gone too long,” he informs, squeezing my neck tight.

  “I know, buddy. But I'm going to school. I told you I would visit as much as I can.”

  “He knows. He’s just being a stinker. Aren't you? Being at home with Mom isn't so bad, is it?” Ellie says, and I laugh when Antony nods his head.

  “You are a little stinker, aren't you?” I give him a quick kiss on his forehead and set him back down on his feet. Almost instantly, he’s off and running again.

  “I still think he looks at you like you’re his mom sometimes. I was gone for such a long time.” Ellie’s sad face looks at Anthony lovingly as he toddles off toward Vin.

  “You had no control over that, and he was only a baby. He probably doesn't even remember that time.” I look in the same direction, recognizing one of the men helping Vin pull something from a large box. “What are they building?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Swing set. One of those big wooden ones. Rock bought it, and yeah, Buggs should be here soon. Her and Mason are on their way. Guess they are moving here. She’s opening a store for the club. Clothing, I think. Rock is building a house for them right over there,” she says, pointing out toward a lone tree.

  “I think I know one of the guys over there helping them,” I say absently.

  “Which one?” she asks as a memory comes rolling in from before I was forced to live with my uncle.

  “It’s not…I'm not sure,” I say, walking over to where the men are laying out long pieces of wood.

  “Kim
i? That you?” Joe asks, dropping the board he was carrying and walking toward me, a big smile on his face. “It’s been a long time, little girl. How have you been?” he asks, waiting to see if he can give me a hug. I smile and wrap my arms around the old man. He was my father’s friend long before he died. Joe was gone when both my parents died, and when he got back, I had already been put into the custody of my uncle, though I don’t think Joe could have done much to keep me from going there, what with my uncle being my last blood relative and all.

  “It’s good to see you too, Uncle Joe.” I always called him uncle. It’s what he was to me.

  “Holy shit. Is that Kimi?” a voice I don’t recognize asks as I let go of Joe and back away.

  “Sure is. Damn, I'm surprised you even remember her, son. You were what, six the last time you saw each other?”

  “Wes?” I ask, shocked. I never once thought I would see him again.

  “Course I remember her! We used to make mud pies and catch frogs from the pond by the house.” Wes walks over to where I stand with Joe and I take him in. He’s tall—taller than his father—and his sandy blond hair is pulled back into a man bun with a few days’ worth of stubble shadowing his face, just enough to make his blue eyes pop. A cut hangs from his shoulders, the same as his dad’s, only his has a prospect patch. “Damn, you grew up,” he says, not being discrete at all about the way he’s looking at me. It makes my face heat up, but before I can say anything, I feel him behind me—Jake. My whole body is aware of his proximity before he places a hand on my shoulder and brings me to his side. The look on Wes’s face shifts. His eyes widen, then narrow on the man visibly claiming me. Jake’s face comes close to my ear.

  “You good?” he asks, and all I can do is nod before I shake myself of the memories trying to penetrate my mind.

  “Yes. I'm fine. This is my Uncle Joe. He was my dad’s best friend, and Wes and I used to play when we were little.”