One Summer of Surrender

by Jess Michaels

  Stenfax shut his office door softly, and before he could even face his brother, Gray barked out, “Bloody hell, Lucien.”

  Stenfax nodded, knowing Gray referred to every terrible thing that had happened in the past short while. Their entire lives had been turned upside down with just a few words.

  “Yes, bloody hell sums it up just about perfectly,” Stenfax said as he moved to the sideboard and splashed scotch into two glasses. As he held out a glass to his brother, he said, “And now what do we do about this? All of this?”

  Gray ignored the offering of the liquor as he paced the room, his demeanor like a caged animal. Stenfax knew how he felt. “Kirkford must be dealt with.”

  Stenfax swigged the first scotch and set it down before he gripped his fist. “I want to ride over there and tear him limb from limb for what he did to Elise.”

  Gray stepped toward him, laying a calming hand on his arm. “I understand the drive, brother, I assure you. When Rosalinde’s grandfather attacked her last year, I would have killed him without a second thought. But in this case, turning on the man will do us no good. He’ll only be more driven to find this book of secrets and use it against us.”

  Stenfax tapped his foot restlessly. “I know you’re right, but he…he tried to rape her, Gray.”

  “But he didn’t succeed,” Gray said. “And his threats have led us to the truth at last.”

  Stenfax pulled from his brother’s touch. He knew Gray was right, of course. But the idea of letting it be, at least for now, was repugnant.

  “So what do we do?”

  “Celia married a former agent of the crown,” Gray suggested.

  Stenfax nodded. Celia was Rosalinde’s sister and his own former fiancée. Their thwarted nuptials had led Gray and Rosalinde to each other, and he considered Celia a friend. Her new marriage to a former spy, one who had until recently been masquerading as a duke, was not known to anyone but their immediate family.

  “John Dane could help. At least we know he could be trusted to guide us,” Stenfax admitted. “How long would it take for him to get here?”

  Gray shrugged. “A week, perhaps. He won’t like coming to London, though. The case where he met Celia is still fresh and he would likely fear it could endanger her if he was seen here.”

  “When I marry Elise, the ripples through Society will be massive. It might be best to do it swiftly and in the country, at Caraway Court. We can regroup there and make our longer term plans.”

  “Dane would prefer it, I’m sure. And Celia will be happy to see Rosalinde and offer her support to Elise and to you,” Gray said. “I’ll send Dane word and ask them to meet us there in a fortnight.”

  “A fortnight?” Stenfax burst out. “That’s a bloody long time to let Ambrose go unchecked.”

  Gray held up his hands. “I understand your issue, but what can we do? As far as we know, he doesn’t have the book right now. He’s still searching and until he has it, anything he says or does will only make him look like a fool.”

  “So you bank on the even-headedness of man who tried to rape my fiancée.” Stenfax gripped and ungripped his fist at his side.

  “I think we have to be even keeled if he will not. That means taking our time and doing what we need to do with the proper thought,” Gray said, softer, to counteract Stenfax’s loudness. “Your special license will take some doing, we must move to the countryside and Dane must have time to do some research so he can come to us with his ideas on the subject.”

  Stenfax bent his head. Of course his brother was right. If he railed and roared and caused chaos it would not help anyone. “In the meantime, Elise can help us assemble a list of names of people her late husband abused. It might help us trace the book.”

  “Yes, the more we know, the better it will be for us.” Gray stopped pacing and looked at him. “And so you’ll really marry her?”

  Stenfax stiffened. Gray had had so little reaction to the announcement in the parlor a few moments before, and now his voice was calm and collected. Lucien had no idea if his brother was shocked or horrified or angry or supportive. He didn’t like being in the dark.

  “To protect her, I feel it is the only way,” Stenfax said, his own voice just as noncommittal.

  Gray gave him a half-smile. “And it has nothing to do with the fact that you love her. That you never stopped loving her.”

  Stenfax sucked in a huge breath. Now that it had been said out loud, the truth of it weaseled past the walls he’d built so long ago to protect himself. He leaned with both hands on his desk as his head swam and his body swayed.

  “Yes,” he admitted at last. “There is also that.”

  “I did not think getting you to admit it would be so simple.”

  Stenfax almost laughed, even though this didn’t feel funny in the slightest. “I wouldn’t say it is simple, just too powerful to deny.”

  Gray tilted his head. “Yes, it always is when it’s so real and so strong. But you’re not happy about the marriage, it seems.”

  Stenfax stared at his cluttered desktop with unseeing eyes. “Elise and I have spent years not trusting each other. How could we possibly build a happy life on that bad beginning?”

  Gray’s laugh was swift and unexpected. “I suppose I am the perfect person to ask, aren’t I? After all, Rosalinde and I started out without any trust between us. I thought her sister a title hunter, she thought me cruel and manipulative. Despite all that, we worked it out.”

  “But it’s not the same,” Stenfax said, even though that reminder of Gray and Rosalinde’s start was somewhat comforting and hopeful.

  “No?” Gray asked. “I suppose not. After all, you’ve been in love with Elise for what…over a decade?”

  “No—”

  “And you planned to marry her once before, under very different circumstances.”

  Lucien huffed out a breath of frustration. “But—”

  Gray tilted his head, unrelenting. “And she sacrificed herself to a marriage that sounds only slightly less awful than our own sister’s to save Felicity. To save you.”

  “I know!” Stenfax burst out when Gray let him have a word. “But if I’d known—”

  Gray held up a hand. “But we don’t get to walk that path, Lucien. The path where you knew the truth from the beginning is gone. This is the path now. You can live in what might have been or could have been or should have been and I don’t think anyone would blame you. But if you have any hope to be happy, not just with Elise, but with yourself, you must live in what is now, today.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” Stenfax whispered, though Gray’s words were like a beacon through a fog.

  Gray moved forward and clapped a hand on Lucien’s shoulder. “Not many people get a second chance like this. Think about it, will you?”

  Stenfax sighed as his brother changed the subject, back to how they would protect Felicity. Gray’s words meant a great deal to him.

  And he knew he would think about them, only about them, for a good while to come.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Elise had learned a great deal in the short moments she’d had alone with Rosalinde and Felicity. Mostly, she realized just how kind and good a person Rosalinde was. While some women would have turned up their nose at her, especially after all the shocking things that had come out about her past, Rosalinde was gentle and welcoming. She had even tried to ease the awkward reconnection between Felicity and Elise.

  But at last she rose. “You know, I’d like to speak to Xavier about something. Why don’t the two of you keep talking? I’ll be back shortly.”

  She waved at then to keep their seats as she left and closed the door behind her. Elise smiled at Felicity. “She’s lovely.”

  Felicity nodded instantly. “She truly is. Gray adores her almost to distraction.”

  Elise’s eyes went wide as she thought of the stern, quiet Gray she’d known as a girl. “I wouldn’t have thought he’d ever allow himself that
kind of connection.”

  “No, we all worried he would block himself off from it, but Rosalinde is everything to him.” Felicity smiled broadly. “We’re lucky to have her in our family. And her sister, Celia, is just as delightful.”

  Elise froze. “Celia, the one Stenfax was to marry,” she said slowly.

  Felicity leaned in and caught Elise’s hands. “He never cared for her. Nor she for him. It was entirely a match of convenience and I think both were relieved when the engagement ultimately ended.”

  Elise shook her head in utter disbelief. “I don’t know how she couldn’t have loved Lucien if she spent any length of time with him.”

  Felicity expression softened at that observation. “Perhaps she simply sensed that he wasn’t truly free. After all, he was still connected to you.”

  “By his hate,” Elise said.

  “No,” Felicity said, squeezing her fingers gently before she released her. “Not his hate, even if he would have labeled it as that for a long time. Either way, Celia recently married and seems very happy where she is. It all worked out for the best, for now you will marry my brother.”

  Elise caught her breath at that matter-of-fact statement. It sounded so very shocking to her ears, even though it had been decided almost an hour before. She was not in any way accustomed to it.

  “Are you truly happy about that fact?” Elise asked at last, shooting her friend a side glance.

  Felicity bent her head. “If you had asked me that question this morning, I admit I would have said no. I would have been horrified by the very notion that Lucien would tie himself to you again and in such a permanent way. But now that the truth has come out, I feel differently. In fact, I feel joyful. You sacrificed your future with him once to save me. Now this fixes that bitter action. It resets the world, in a way.”

  Elise pressed her lips together hard before she said, “I’m not sure about that. It certainly doesn’t fix or change what I did to Lucien.”

  “You don’t think he forgives you, even after you told him why you did what you did?”

  Elise considered the question, rolling it around in her mind to see if it fit her sense of discomfort. Her mind was such a jumble, it was hard to determine the truth in it all.

  “It isn’t that he hasn’t forgiven me,” she said at last. “I think he is beginning to do that. More that he is resigned to this marriage as a way to somehow repay me for my sacrifice all those years ago.”

  Felicity’s expression grew concerned. “You know Lucien.”

  “I did once, yes.”

  “He hasn’t changed that much,” her friend reassured her. “He’s…guarded when he isn’t certain. Everything just came out today, Elise. His entire world, his entire system of belief, has been turned on its head. You must let him settle into it, think on it, find a way to accept what happened all those years ago. His heart will soften in time.”

  Elise got up and paced away, hands shaking at her sides. “Only I don’t know if it can. He tells me over and over that our lack of trust is what keeps us apart and I cannot argue that point. Trust cannot just be magically obtained.”

  Felicity jumped up. “I can help. After all, it’s just about earning his trust, isn’t it? I’ll help you find a way to do that.”

  Elise sighed. “That isn’t the issue at present. Lucien believes I don’t trust him. And I have no idea how to prove that I do.”

  Felicity looked just as stumped as she was, but before they could speak more on the subject, the parlor door opened and Rosalinde and Gray entered the chamber, followed by Lucien, himself. His gaze swept over the room and when he found her, his shoulders stiffened and the line of his lips thinned.

  Both those things made her stomach drop. He had secured her future with his proposal, but it didn’t feel secure right now. Not when he clearly hesitated, forced into a corner by her circumstances.

  “My dear, I’ve been thinking, and while you obviously had little choice given what happened last night, you cannot stay with Stenfax during your engagement,” Rosalinde said. “Why don’t you come and stay with Gray and me?”

  Elise looked at Stenfax once again. Of course, what Rosalinde said was proper, but she wanted to see if it disappointed him as much as it disappointed her.

  But his expression was unreadable.

  “Oh, no, she should come stay with Mother and me!” Felicity said, grabbing for Elise’s arm.

  Gray smiled at his sister. “Normally I would agree that you two should have time to reconnect as friends. But given the threat that still exists toward Elise, until we leave London for Caraway Court, it would be best if she were under my roof. I can make sure she’s protected.”

  Felicity’s own smile fell and the gravity of the situation felt very clear in that moment. “Of course,” she said, her voice strained.

  Elise squeezed her arm gently before she stepped toward Lucien. “Caraway Court?” she asked.

  He nodded. “Gray and I thought it best to regroup there. Plan our next moves. Do you oppose the idea?”

  Elise shrugged, partly because she didn’t think any objection she had would matter, but also because she had such fond memories of Caraway Court. It was where she’d first fallen in love with the man who would now reluctantly become her husband.

  Perhaps there she would find a way to remind him that he’d once loved her too.

  “I don’t mind leaving London,” she said. “I’m sure the scandal when our engagement is announced will be massive. I don’t want to be in the center of that storm.”

  “Then it sounds like Elise trusts you with your decision, Lucien,” Felicity said, sending her brother a meaningful look.

  Elise held back a sigh. Of course Felicity would try to solve this problem, even in the clumsiest way. Stenfax’s expression didn’t change even though he looked at Elise a little closer.

  She forced a smile. “I suppose I should have my maid prepare us for another move. Not that there is much for Ruth to prepare. I left with so few things.”

  “Do you think the servants at the dower house would help get the rest of your clothing out?” Stenfax asked.

  She nodded. “There are many there who are sympathetic to my plight. As long as Ambrose hasn’t burned my belongings already, it’s possible.”

  “I’ll go get them,” Stenfax said.

  Gray stepped forward. “You damned well won’t. Remember what we discussed regarding confronting the man? We’ll send a few servants. You’ll stay right where you are so you don’t end up killing a duke and putting us in an even more precarious position.” Felicity flinched and Gray turned toward her. “I’m sorry, Felicity. I wasn’t thinking.”

  She shrugged. “You’re right, though. My actions have placed us all in danger and we must act carefully.”

  Lucien tapped his foot, frustration clear on his face. He was a man of action and his hands were tied. Yet another thing Elise knew was her fault.

  “Very well,” he ground out. “I’ll send servants. I hate having no options here.”

  She turned her face. No options in anything, it seemed, even a wedding. “Yes, well, I’ll go prepare Ruth. I won’t be long.”

  She turned to leave the room and was surprised when Lucien followed her without an explanation or a request to the others for leave. In the hall, she turned toward him.

  “Lucien—” she began softly.

  His face remained impassive. “What will you do in regards to Winstead?”

  She blinked. Here she had hoped he followed her in order to comfort her or to connect with her. Instead he asked about the man who would have been her lover.

  She swallowed hard. “I hadn’t thought about it. I suppose he must be told that my plans have changed. Writing him seems cruel.”

  Stenfax lifted his chin. “It is what you did to me.”

  She caught her breath. “Because Kirkford orchestrated my actions in order to cause the most pain he could.”

  He seemed to co
nsider that for a long moment, then he nodded. “We don’t want to inspire the man to become another enemy. Right now there are plenty of complications without that. But I don’t want you to go to him. You were already physically threatened and I can’t have you face his anger.”

  “You think he’ll be angry?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “How could he not be, losing you?” She gasped at the assessment, but he didn’t allow her to respond. “Let me go speak to him. Then if you wish to write a letter afterward, I won’t object.”

  She tensed. Her…well, she supposed she could call Stenfax her fiancé now…her fiancé and the man who had offered as her protector. She couldn’t imagine that meeting would go well. Especially since Stenfax felt so unable to do anything about Ambrose. Winstead could very well suffer the consequences he didn’t deserve.

  “Don’t take your anger out on him,” she whispered. “Please promise me that.”

  He arched a brow. “Worried about him, are we?”

  “No,” she said, hating his sharp tone. “Worried about you. Only you, Lucien.”

  She leaned up and briefly brushed her lips to his cheek, then turned toward stairs and away from Lucien. Away from the feelings he no longer felt. Away from the future that she’d once so longed for, but now felt locked in painful stone.

  Lucien sat in a quiet parlor, awaiting the arrival of a man who did not expect him. To give him news that could set him off in God knew what ways. He probably shouldn’t have been the one giving this news, given the fact that he would now wed Elise.

  But he felt impotent in this situation. He had bid farewell to her an hour before, watching her ride off in Gray’s carriage with her head bent. He had not allowed himself to touch her, to really connect with her, as she left his house as his fiancée.

  It seemed there was more of a wall between them than there had ever been, and he shifted in discomfort at that acknowledgment to himself. This wasn’t what he wanted, but he had no idea how to fix it.

  The door to the parlor opened and he rose slowly to watch Theodore Winstead enter the room. The younger man looked calm in the face of his uninvited presence and shut the door quietly behind him.