by Ali Parker
As I held Sophia’s hand during takeoff for another trip to Qatar, I wasn’t sure what to feel. I had unloaded all my feelings for Father after hearing the news from Mother. They had been locked away for years in the back of my mind, especially when Father started pushing me to replace him as king. In my annoyance, I’d forgotten everything that Father had done for me over the years.
Under his rough exterior, he’d always been the one that I could count on during my many tough transitions in life.
Remembering our last conversation, I wished I could have said more. His words held much more weight to them than I had initially thought. Did he know he wouldn’t make it past the week?
I couldn’t help but think he’d sent me away to take care of the business knowing that he would never see me again. Was he that proud that he didn’t want to die in front of me? Or was it poor timing? All of this was poor timing.
I glanced at Sophia. I met her at the worst time, too. I was about to replace my dead father as king and risk the possibility of ruining any chance for us to be together.
What the hell was I going to do?
* * *
Once we arrived in Qatar, the ride to the palace went by quickly enough that I barely had time to think about what I would say to my family. We went into this situation knowing that Father didn’t have much time left, but every second he was alive, I’d held onto the hope that there would be more seconds after that.
I hoped that Mother or Abir had been with him when he passed. Even though he was asleep when it happened, it made me feel better that I hadn’t completely abandoned him. There was no point in regret since I couldn’t bring Father back, but a shred of it niggled at the back of my mind. It was the same feeling that I got when Father initially suggested me going back to the UK. I didn’t want to, but per usual, he pushed me into doing his bidding.
When we pulled up to the palace, Sophia sighed, then looked at me. We’d been mostly quiet for the flight and the car ride. I knew she was allowing me to reflect on everything, but a part of me thought that she had a lot on her mind too. Did she know that I was going to take the throne? Did she wonder—as I did—what our future would hold?
We got out of the car, and before I could make it to the front steps, Abir appeared at the top of them.
My kid brother rushed down the steps and slammed into me. I wrapped my arms around him as he sobbed into my shirt.
I patted his back. “Let’s go inside.” Glancing around, there was an influx of guards present. No doubt, the news of Father’s passing had reached halfway across the country by now. Through the funeral and until the new king was appointed, the country would remain in unrest and anticipation of the new ruler.
I kept Abir next to me while he tried to keep his tears at bay. I distracted him by asking how it happened.
“Mother woke to tell me that he passed,” Abir explained. “I’d said goodnight to him just hours before, and then he was gone.”
“It’s better this way,” I said.
Sophia took Abir’s hand, and he held on tight to her. She was a source of comfort to both men in our family. I hoped she would continue to do so since I was about to deal with a lot at once, and most of my duties wouldn’t involve her.
“Where is Mother?” I asked him. I fully expected her to be awaiting our arrival, disapproving frown and all. Maybe she was playing nice with Sophia for once. If she was going to, this was the time.
“She’s in her bedroom,” Abir said. “She hasn’t moved much since it happened.”
That sounded familiar, but Mother never sulked like Abir. She was hurting and needed someone to comfort her this time.
“Abir,” I said. “Help Sophia get settled in my chambers. I’m going to see Mother.”
“Let’s go,” Sophia said, smiling at Abir. “We can take the long way if you want?”
Abir nodded and sniffed, still holding onto Sophia.
As they walked, Sophia glanced over her shoulder and winked at me. She had this handled. Now I had to step up and handle my Mother and possibly the kingdom.
* * *
For the interim, the council would keep the country and the people in line until a new ruler was chosen. I had a few days at the most to make my decision, but it wasn’t happening today. Today I was going to be a part of my family and mourn the loss of the greatest man I’d ever known.
Arriving at Mother’s bedroom door, I knocked and stepped through, not waiting for her to answer. I imagined that she would refuse anyone entry, but I wasn’t about to be deterred.
While my parents tended to sleep in Father’s chambers, Mother did have her own room off the bathroom. I had only seen her in there if either of them were sick, but I knew that today she would be in there instead of the bed that Father died in.
She was sitting up with the quilts across her lap. She glanced at me when I came in but said nothing.
I sat on the bed next to her and placed my hand on hers. If she didn’t want to talk then, that was okay, but I wanted to show my support.
Mother sighed heavily and leaned against her pillows. She stared at the ceiling.
The conversation between Father and me reminded me of the next conversation I had with Mother. If she had been the one who died, I would have felt terrible about the things I’d said to her. Watching Father pass so quickly, I realized how short life was.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you the last time I was here,” I said.
She waved a dismissive hand. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
I gritted my teeth. Even in the face of losing her husband, she still held onto her hatred for Sophia. Or maybe she had given up. Either way, this was no time to argue. We had work to do, and neither Mother nor Abir seemed to be willing to put in that work.
“I know you’re in mourning,” I said. The customs of our country gave widows much time to mourn the loss of their husbands. But Mother was also a queen and not one to sit down and let life take over when there was work to be done. “We have much to do to prepare for the funeral. And Abir is beside himself with grief. We all need to step up and do our part.”
Mother turned her head slowly and stared at me. I leaned away from her, fearing that she was about to either scream in my face or smack me.
Instead, she said, “You’re right.”
She sat up straighter and pushed the quilts off her body. She stood up from the bed and shook her black skirt out, allowing the fabric to fall around her legs and feet. She walked across the room and grabbed a black headscarf, wrapping it around her head.
She linked her arm with mine and looked up at me. I had never seen her look so tired in her life. It was as if she hadn’t slept the entire week that Father was dying. Maybe she hadn’t.
“Let’s go to Abir,” she said. “Then I will deal with the arrangements.”
“I can help,” I said.
“Very well,” she said, and we were off.
* * *
I wasn’t sure how Mother was going to react when she saw Sophia. There were so many different scenarios playing out in my mind as we made our way to Abir’s room.
I knocked on the door, and Sophia answered, beckoning us inside.
Mother stiffened as I opened the door.
Sophia was in the chair next to Abir’s bed. Abir sat on his bed, facing her. When we entered, he turned, and his eyes widened when he saw Mother.
He bounced off the bed and rushed over to us. “Mother,” he said before falling into her arms. He was more than a foot taller than her, but he leaned over and allowed her to take him into her arms as he did when he was a toddler.
Sophia came over and took my hand. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said to Mother.
Mother cut a look at Sophia but said nothing. Her expression gave the impression that Sophia had been the one to cause all of this.
Mother rubbed circles on Abir’s back, hushing him as she used to when he was a child.
Sophia squeezed my hand and then wordlessly left the room
.
I wanted to scold Mother for her actions toward Sophia, but this wasn’t the time or the place. Once we got Abir on track and the funeral over with, there would be a serious discussion. Her behavior was going to change.
* * *
Sophia and I took Abir into the dining room to have lunch while Mother went off to plan Father’s funeral. I told her I would help, but she wanted me to keep Abir out of his room and from sulking all day. Since Sophia wasn’t going anywhere and Mother wanted nothing to do with her, it made sense that the three of us went off on our own. Mother would have no trouble telling the staff and the council members what to do about Father’s body and how the funeral would proceed, and it might keep her from sulking herself.
After lunch, we walked the palace grounds, telling Sophia about memories of Father. Abir did most of the talking because he was the one that needed to and I had already given Sophia a good glimpse into my past at my flat.
Sophia was the same compassionate person to Abir as she had been to me in my time of need. She listened and reacted to his stories, even the few times he was too choked up to speak.
Abir left Sophia and me at some point, wanting to check on Mother. In the time since his birth, Abir had always been a momma’s boy. They loved each other fiercely, and neither wanted to see the other in a bad mood about anything. In a way, it reminded me of how Father and I were before my late teenage years when I wanted nothing to do with becoming king.
Him checking in with her meant that he was ready to step up, even if it was just to protect our mother.
It was a step closer to him becoming a man, but not the man that was to be our next king.
Sophia and I stayed away from Mother as long as we could. But when dinner came around, we knew we had to come out of hiding.
We went down to the dining room, holding hands and showing a united front to Mother in case she decided to step out of line again.
Surprisingly, Mother didn’t say much over dinner. None of us did. The weight of Father’s death pressed heavily on each of us, and it was easier to deal with it internally than with each other.
The only words uttered from her lips were when we all finished. “The funeral will be tomorrow evening.” She made a point to look at Abir and me only.
“Would you like any assistance?” I asked.
She shook her head once. “That won’t be necessary. I trust that everyone will have appropriate attire?”
The question wasn’t for Abir and me, but for Sophia. It was her way of digging at Sophia without directly doing it. I knew there were more than enough outfits in the palace that would be appropriate for her.
“Yes, Mother,” was all I said before she retired for the night.
Sophia, Abir, and I followed shortly after. Tomorrow was going to be the worst day of my life, and I needed to prepare.
20
Sophia
The next morning, there was more movement in the palace than I’d ever seen before. Servants rushed around, completing their tasks, while I was utterly lost and I had no idea what to do with my hands, never mind my body.
Luke explained that everything was taken care of, but I still felt as if I should be doing something.
Early that morning, two servants came into the room carrying several different options for the funeral. They all looked the same to me as they were black and heavy on the fabric. I chose the lightest one that covered every inch of me, other than my hands and the neck up. It came with an accompanying headscarf. I didn’t try that on, not wanting to embarrass myself if I arranged it incorrectly. Luke would help me later on if necessary.
Luke kept me at his side the entire day, enough that I felt like an accessory more than his girlfriend. I wondered if he was protecting me from his Mother or if I was his main support system. Either way, I didn’t mind.
Guests arrived all morning and afternoon. I recognized a few, but Luke and I didn’t stop to chat with anyone.
After the funeral, a banquet in Erol’s honor would be held in the palace. Luke informed me that we would have plenty of time to speak with the guests then.
* * *
The actual funeral was a cultural shock and one of the saddest events in my life. As much as Gia hated me, I didn’t like seeing her devastated with grief. The events of the funeral were not familiar to me, but Luke jumped in with explanations whenever he could. There were so many people in attendance. I supposed it made sense since the country was losing a king, along with this family losing a father and a husband.
There wasn’t a dry eye the entire night during the service. I was choked up for most of it, even though everyone spoke an unfamiliar language. Many people mourned loudly during the ceremony. Their wailing reverberated in my chest, making it even harder to breathe a full breath.
Luke was stoic for most of the time. I knew everyone was looking at him as their next ruler, but no one spoke the words. The funeral was about Erol, but I knew the conversation would come up soon after. Since I was Luke’s girlfriend and I never left his side, I knew I would be a part of that conversation.
I was ready for anything when it came to Luke, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted me as his queen. A distinct divide separated us on that fact. If he did want me as his queen, I would have a lot to consider. If he didn’t, then I was about to go through this thing with his family and then be sent off back to Dallas without a story.
I doubted Mr. Fraser would care about my sexual encounters with a prince—that story might work at a woman’s magazine, but not the Dallas Post. And anyone could research Muslim funerals to get the scoop.
I was between a rock and a hard place, and the space between quickly closed in around me.
Luke and I had a private car on the way back to the palace. Once we were inside, both of us sighed.
“How are you holding up?” I asked.
He wiped a hand over his face, his fingers scratching against the stubble on his cheeks. “I just want this to be over.”
“I know,” I said. I had to think of a way to distract him in the time we were alone. I had no idea when we would be alone again. “What’s next?”
“Everyone will go back to the palace for a banquet,” he said.
I already knew that was happening, but I nodded my head as if I didn’t.
“It’s going to be an all-night thing,” he said. “If you want to go to my chambers, I’d completely understand.”
“No way,” I said. “I’m here for the long haul. You didn’t bring me here to sit in your bedroom, did you?”
“If I could join you, then yes.” A hint of a smile touched his lips. It was nice to see it after the day we’d had.
* * *
When we made it back to the palace, it was much later than I realized. We headed into one of the main ballrooms, which was already starting to fill up with guests. Even though we’d been up for a while that day, there was no ending in sight. While I wasn’t at all tired, I could have used a little more time alone with Luke to figure out what he was thinking about all of this.
Luke had an iron grip on my hand as we entered the banquet. The feeling in the room was much different than the last time I attended a banquet with Luke. That time had been all about Luke showing me off in front of influential people.
Now, all eyes were on Gia. Everyone made their way over to her and Abir—he hadn’t left her side either—and offered their sympathies.
We were approached as well. The tone was a little different when Luke spoke with these people. He remained stoic and spoke with them as if they were business associates more than family and friends. I supposed that was his way of dealing with everything. I imagined that him stepping up to the throne was in the front of his mind. The suggestion lingered on everyone’s lips, but no one flat-out asked him.
While they didn’t get the answer they were looking for, everyone who approached us was friendly toward me. They acknowledged my presence, much to Gia’s disappointment. I felt her heated stare from across the room more times than I c
ould count. While I appreciated the kindness toward me, I wondered if it was just them being polite or if they thought I would be their future queen.
I had to immediately shake away that thought. I didn’t want to be with Luke just to become his queen. I wasn’t sure if I wanted the position at all. Erol’s funeral was not the time to consider it. Luke wanted his space when it came to the throne, and I would comply, if not for my own selfish reasons as well. When it came to any future between Luke and me, I knew it involved a crown on one or both of our heads.
When there was a little break in the crowd coming to speak with us, Luke pulled me aside. We stood by the floor-to-ceiling windows on the other side of the room, opposite from Gia and Abir. I wasn’t sure if he’d seen her death-stares or if he wanted a breather. Either way, I wasn’t going to speak with him about his mother’s attitude at that moment.
“How are you doing?” I asked. “Can I get you anything?”
He smirked.
“What is it?”
“The last time I let you get me something, Mother spoke with you, and you ran away from me.”
It seemed like a lifetime ago, but we were also reporter and subject at that time. Now, I wasn’t going anywhere unless Luke wanted me to. At least, not until after the funeral events.
“I could use a break,” I said, noticing some of the guests trying to catch Luke’s eye. “How about I stay here while you mingle for a little while? I’ll catch up in a minute.”
The cool air coming from the windows beckoned me to stay near. Even though the dress I wore was light and flowed around my legs, the temperature in the room had spiked significantly after all the guests arrived.
Luke leaned closer to me and cupped my cheek. I leaned into his warm hand, even though my body was already on fire. Luke ignited something else inside of me, and for that brief moment, the entire world fell away, and we were the only two people in existence.