by Ali Parker
“How did I get so lucky?” he said.
“I’m the lucky one,” I said, speaking from my heart.
His lips met mine in the most chaste yet erotic kiss of my life. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was claiming me in front of everyone in the room or the fact that we hadn’t kissed since early that morning before breakfast.
I vowed not to let that amount of time pass again.
When he pulled away from me, I sighed and shooed him away. My cheeks flushed, and I needed a minute to compose myself.
Watching Luke speak with others was different than standing next to him. I felt as if I were a voyeur, watching a regal prince schmooze with his subjects. His chin was high, and he commanded the conversation, even though I couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying.
Someone cleared her throat next to me, and I instinctively moved aside, thinking that I was blocking their way.
When I glanced over my shoulder, my stomach plummeted, and I drew in a sharp breath.
“Gia,” I said.
Luke’s mother turned her body so she stood next to me. Her mouth pressed into a thin line.
I looked around for Abir, but I had the idea that she sent him away so she could have another conversation with me. This time, it would end differently. I wasn’t going to be rude to her, but I also wasn’t going to allow her to speak with me as she’d done before. No matter what Luke said to her, she continued to look down on me. I wasn’t that girl anymore, at least not when Luke wanted to be with me.
“I know you don’t like me,” I said. “But I’m not here to cause problems. I’m here to be with Luke and give him whatever he needs at this difficult time.”
“I know,” she said.
I snapped my head in her direction. “You do?”
She nodded slightly, still focusing on the crowd in front of us. Her hands clasped in front of her, and they weren’t tight fists as I’d seen on numerous occasions in my presence. “From what you and Luke insist on repeating, I know that you both want to be with each other. I’ve tried to put sense into my son’s head, but it hasn’t worked.”
“I’m not sure what to say to that,” I said. I knew she didn’t want me to be with Luke, but hearing her speak so bluntly was a little off-putting.
“I’d like to know what you’re going to say when Luke becomes the king,” she said.
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” I said. “Do you think I would tell him not to take the throne? I would never.”
“I’m not talking about him,” she said. “He’s going to make the right choice. But I do wonder if you’re willing to give up your life for him.”
“My life?” Was I missing something?
“If you’re so invested in my son’s life and you want to be there for him, there is the eventuality of you rising to the throne with him. If you’re serious about him, then you must be serious about letting go of your life to shoulder the responsibilities of the throne.”
This wasn’t where I thought the conversation was going. Had the room become warmer in the short time since Gia started speaking with me?
I couldn’t allow her to get under my skin, but from the satisfied expression on her face, she knew she already had.
“Do let me know if you have any questions about being queen,” she said and then flitted away.
I watched her leave, my chest heaving with effort as if I’d just run ten laps around the palace.
Glancing at Luke, he was still in a conversation with the same group as before. And just like the first banquet, Gia had ended our private conversation, leaving me with a lot to think about.
21
Luke
For the last hour of the banquet, I wanted nothing more than for it to end so I could go up to my room with Sophia. While it would have been nice to make love with her, after the full day of activities, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had attended numerous banquets at the palace throughout my life, but obviously, this one was different. Typically, I was able to enjoy myself. I never shirked my responsibilities, but most of the time, Father was the center of attention. Everyone wanted to talk to a king more than a prince.
With Father gone, I got a glimpse of what being king would be like. It wasn’t hard, but it was exhausting. I figured it would get better over time. Sophia made it a little easier.
If I were to take the throne, I wanted her with me. I knew that now, more than ever. She spoke eloquently to our guests, and with her charm and wit, she could handle an intelligent conversation, rather than being the silent partner that Mother tended to be when she was with Father. If I was going to be forced to take the throne, then I was going to do it in my way with the woman I chose.
When there were only a few dozen people left in the hall, I took my leave, grabbing Sophia’s hand in the process.
“Are you ready?” I asked her.
“More than ready,” she said.
“Can I come?” Abir asked, sidling up to Sophia.
“To my chambers?” I asked.
Abir made a horrified face as if I’d asked him to sleep in the same bed as Sophia and me.
It was the first time I laughed all day. I clapped a hand on his shoulder and pulled him alongside me.
Mother could handle herself, and I didn’t want to expose Sophia to any more of her that night. I’d seen them talking, and the entire time, my stomach was in my throat. But Sophia hadn’t seemed too bothered after their conversation, not like she had been the first time she was there.
Maybe Mother was making an effort. While I didn’t completely believe that, I wasn’t going to hound Sophia about it. She could handle herself, and she would be honest with me if something was bothering her.
We stopped at Abir’s room, and Sophia kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she said.
Abir placed his hand on his cheek and grinned.
Sophia stifled a laugh while I hugged my brother a little too forcefully.
“You know she’s mine, right?” I whispered into his ear.
Abir laughed and then walked into his room.
“I’ll be a minute,” I said to her and walked in after him. Abir and I hadn’t had a lot of time to ourselves since I’d dragged him out of bed when we arrived the last time; when Father was still alive.
Sophia had stuck close to me, and while I appreciated her support, I wanted to make sure that Abir was okay before leaving him alone. He liked her, and I knew he would try and hide his feelings from her the best he could.
Abir lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor before walking into his bathroom.
I picked up the shirt and laid it neatly on his desk chair where the servants could find it the next morning.
Abir was quiet as he went through his nightly routine. I gave him space, but he was an entirely different person than he was outside in the hallway. My gut feeling was right. Abir was still mourning, but he had taken a page out of my book and pretended like he was fine. It was the first step to becoming the prince I’d always wanted him to be, but I feared it was too late. The council would meet soon, and I wasn’t sure which one of us they would choose. That was unless I stepped forward and made the choice for them.
“Sit down for a minute,” I said when Abir returned to his bedroom. He wore his robe, and his hair was damp.
Abir sat on the small couch near the windows, and I sat next to him.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
He sighed. “What do you think?”
I shrugged. “You tell me.” He wasn’t getting off that easily.
“The meeting is tomorrow,” he said.
I’d been wrong. Instead of Abir’s sadness over Father’s death, he was more worried about the decision regarding the new ruler.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I said.
“Don’t I?” he said, his eyes wide with fear. “What if they pick me? I’m not ready. I don’t want this.”
“Abir,” I said, trying to
remain calm. If I revealed my same fear, it wouldn’t help anything. “Tonight is not the time to think about this. It’s been a long day, and everyone is tired and overwhelmed. How about you get some rest and then we can discuss all of this tomorrow.”
“I suppose you’re right,” he said. “How are you so calm?” Abir still didn’t know the turmoil inside of me. He thought he might have to take the throne, and that terrified him.
“I can barely hold my head up right now,” I said. “Exhaustion is the best way to get your mind off something.”
Abir smiled, only a little, but it was enough for now.
I grabbed his shoulder and brought him to me in a tight embrace. I ruffled his hair, much to his displeasure. “Night, little brother.”
“Get off me,” he said, laughing.
As I was leaving, Abir got into his bed and flipped his bedside lamp off.
I paused for a moment, soaking in the sight. Tomorrow was going to change our lives completely. I hoped that he had a restful night’s sleep in preparation for what was to come.
Outside Abir’s room, Sophia was waiting for me. She was still on her feet, but she swayed slightly.
“Let’s go,” I said, linking my arm with hers.
Sophia and I leisurely walked to my chambers.
“What a day,” she said.
I sighed. “Tell me about it.”
“Anything else happening tomorrow?”
I knew she meant to ask if there were any more funeral events, but I wanted to be honest with her about what was going to happen. I didn’t want to blindside her after the council decided. This was the last chance for us if she wanted to be by my side for the rest of our lives.
“There will be a council meeting tomorrow,” I said.
“Tomorrow?” she asked. “A little soon?”
“Not really,” I said. “We will mourn for a while, but business needs to be handled by the next heir. And that heir is to be chosen the day after a ruler is buried.”
Sophia was silent for the rest of the walk over to my room. I really didn’t want to have this conversation when both of us were dead on our feet, but if not now, when? I had to put my cards on the table, no matter how much I didn’t want to.
When we reached my chambers, I helped Sophia out of her dress. I couldn’t help my hands from roaming around her body. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and peered up at me. Without any words between us, we knew we were at a tipping point in our relationship. If only it hadn’t come so soon.
“I love you, Sophia,” I said before kissing her.
She was the first to pull away, her gaze darting between my eyes.
“I’ve wanted to say it since you returned to the palace.” I went to the armoire and gave Sophia my robe. She draped it around her shoulders but kept the front open, giving me a view of her spectacular body. “I don’t know if I can make it through all of this without you.”
“You’re stronger than you think,” she said.
It didn’t escape my notice that she hadn’t said she loved me back. Had I gone too far with telling her how I felt? I supposed if I was going to scare her away with that admission, then becoming queen was out of the question. Or maybe she was scared. If she were my queen, she’d have to pick up her entire life and move to a foreign country where she didn’t know anyone other than my family. Mother wouldn’t be much help, and I would have to adjust to the new lifestyle for myself.
If she knew that I was by her side too, then it might be easier for her to make a choice.
“I can’t delay this any further,” I said. “The decision will be made tomorrow. I have to tell the council something.”
Sophia wrapped herself up in the robe and pulled the ties around her waist. “I don’t know if I can be what you need me to be if you choose to become king.”
There it was. Topped with the fact that Sophia didn’t love me. I wasn’t sure which one hurt more.
Seeing it from her point of view, it was a tough choice. I was asking her to give me an answer without any warning at all.
Sophia came over to the bed and stood in front of me. We were face to face, but I couldn’t even look at her. I wasn’t sure who I was more disappointed with, her or me.
She lifted my chin with her hand. “Luke, you’ve been through a lot this week. How about we get some sleep and then we can talk about it in the morning?”
She kissed me, and I tried to be into it, but I knew from the look in her eyes when she pulled away that I wasn’t.
She was right. There was nothing to be done tonight. The more I pressed her to fit into the position of the queen, the more she would push back. If this was the last night for us to be together, I wanted to remember it as a time where we were good with each other. We were a great couple but on opposite paths.
“I’m going to change,” I said, brushing past her. “I’ll be in bed in a few minutes.”
The truth was, I took my time in the bathroom. I didn’t want to look at her and see the reflection of my embarrassment in her eyes. Even though she didn’t say it back, I still loved her. I probably always would. Since the moment she came back into my life, we were on borrowed time.
I drew a bath and sat in the tub for a while, soaking in the musky scented soap. While I was exhausted, I also felt as if I’d had a shot of adrenaline. I mulled over what I was going to do.
Telling the council to fuck off wasn’t in my best interest. Sure, I would get to keep Sophia, but then Abir would be in a position that he never wanted. I would disappoint Mother and Father’s memory in the process. The only ones who were affected if I chose to become king were Sophia and me. Could I put her on a bigger pedestal than my family? From what she said, it didn’t seem as if she wanted the position to begin with. If I gave up the throne to Abir and then Sophia and I broke up for whatever reason, I would regret it wholly.
I came back to the same resolution every time.
When my hands turned wrinkly and the water cooled, I stepped out of the tub and knew what I had to do for both Sophia and me.
22
Sophia
The morning came too swiftly for me. I had waited up for Luke to come to bed, but I must have fallen asleep. I’d heard the bath running, so I assumed he needed more time to himself. I supposed telling someone you love them and having them not say it back was cause enough to stay away from that person. I still didn’t know what possessed me to keep quiet about my feelings. He had just lost his father for Christ’s sake. The least I could have done was told him I loved him. It wouldn’t have been a lie.
Luke was still fast asleep next to me, and I wondered if he even bothered to wake me when he came into the bedroom after his bath. His hair was mussed, and it took much of my strength not to reach out and touch it. Had I ruined our chances completely?
I had the urge to shake him awake and tell him how I felt, no matter what the cost. I still wasn’t up to the idea of becoming a queen, but he should know how I felt.
I stared up at the ceiling for some time, willing Luke to wake up. But after the day and night that he had, he deserved to get some uninterrupted sleep.
The more I thought about having a conversation about last night, the more nervous I became.
Unable to fall asleep again, I quietly got out of bed and shoved my arms into Luke’s robe. There wasn’t anywhere in the room I could go without appearing as if I was waiting for him to wake up, so I left and went into the hallway. Closing the door as silently as I could, I turned to the empty hall. Tightening the robe around my waist, I walked toward the end of the hallway where there was an open the door to a balcony. Maybe after I cleared my head a little, I would return to face Luke.
I was halfway there when a familiar face rounded the corner.
“Oh, hello,” I said, nearly bumping into Abir.
He was already dressed for the day and eyed me as if I were naked instead of covered in a robe. I supposed I could have put socks on, but Luke would have woken up if I started to dig through my suitca
se.
“Hi,” Abir said, averting his eyes.
I checked to make sure I wasn’t hanging out of my robe, but everything was covered. Abir seriously needed to get a girlfriend. “How did you sleep?”
“Fine,” he said. “Where is Luke?”
“Still sleeping,” I said. “I didn’t want to disturb him. I suppose the both of you have a big day today.”
Abir nodded and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. “What do you think about all of this?”
“What am I supposed to think?” I asked. I wondered if Abir was going to ask me about becoming Luke’s queen. Although after the talk with Gia and the awkward discussion with Luke last night, I started to warm up to the idea. The very thought of losing Luke and Abir from my life was like a knife to the gut. Would that wound ever go away if I let him go? Would I regret it all if I left? “I know that Luke will make the right decision for everyone.”
Abir cracked a smile. “He’s fortunate to have you.”
“He could do this on his own, too,” I said. Just as I wanted to make my own way in life as a reporter, I knew that Luke didn’t need someone else to make him a good king. He already had all he needed to fulfill the position. He just needed to take that last step and accept the position to save his brother from that fate. I also knew it had meant a lot to Erol.
“I think it’s easier for him to accept it when he has you by his side,” Abir said. “He sees a future with you. I think that was his problem before. He never looked too far into the future, and now that he has, I think he will take the role and be happy with it. As long as he has you.”
Was that how Luke truly felt? Did he think he could fulfill his father’s promise because of me?
“I’m heading down to breakfast. I’ll see you later.” Abir left me alone in the hallway with my jumbled thoughts.
My legs moved forward on their own as I made my way toward the balcony. Coming outside, the morning breeze was cool against my cheeks. Inhaling, I was able to draw in a full breath to fully clear my mind.