Restoration

by Loraine, Kim

  She felt sick as she observed the damage and said a silent prayer for the family of Mark Ringstad. Thankfully, Mark had a sizable life insurance policy in case of accidental death and the construction company also carried insurance. She felt callous thinking about money, but was happy to know that Mark was able to care for his family even after death.

  “God, what a mess,” Valerie said, shoulders slumped.

  “Yep. It’s going to take a lot of work to get us back on track here.”

  “Good thing we’ve got time.”

  They walked around town and made their way to the cozy cottage they’d grown so comfortable in. Mary Kinton was waiting with keys and a welcome basket.

  “Oi, you two. Get over here and let me get a good look at ya,” she called from the porch.

  Grace smiled, but took pains to cover her middle with her oversized sweater just in case Mary’s shrewd eyes caught sight of the tiny bulge.

  “Mary,” Grace said in greeting.

  “Terrible business, that.” She gestured in the direction of the site. “I can’t imagine what that poor Ringstad family went through. I’m sorry you had to be gone so long. Weren’t the same round here without you two Yanks.”

  “It’s good to see you, too,” Grace said, taking the keys and basket.

  “Been keeping the place up for ya. The cleaning lady came by yesterday and the basket’s got some teas and a bit of bread and biscuits. Not much, but it should serve for teatime today until you can get by Ten’s.”

  Her heart lurched at the mention of Drew’s store. She knew she needed to see him, talk to him, but her anxiety over the prospect was rising each moment.

  “Thanks, Mary. That was sweet of you,” Valerie said.

  The cottage looked exactly the same. Doilies still littered every free surface, the afghan Grace routinely wrapped up in while reading late at night was in its usual place over the arm of the cozy chair.

  She sighed in relief. “For some reason, I thought it was going to be different.”

  “Me, too,” Valerie agreed through a yawn. “I’m going up to my room for a nap. You going to Ten’s?”

  “In a bit. I’ve got to work up to it.”

  Valerie nodded and headed up the stairs.

  Grace took off her boots and padded down the familiar hallway to the kitchen where she set about making some tea. She opened the cupboard and her sweeping gaze locked on the Likes Time Lords mug in the front.

  She picked it up and remembered the first time Drew had kissed her. His lips on hers, the feel of his breath against her skin, his hands in her hair. A wave of lust crashed over her and almost buckled her knees. Who am I kidding? I’m not going to be okay if he doesn’t want me. Crap.

  All the strong statements she’d been making about her future were crushed with this one memory.

  “Val? I’m going to Ten’s,” she shouted up the stairs and left the tea forgotten on the counter while she pulled on her boots.

  The walk to Ten’s was short and invigorating. Grace’s pounding pulse set the pace for her feet and adrenaline bolstered her courage. The front of the store was flanked by two large hanging baskets, dripping with blooms of all different colors. She reached up to finger the delicate white flowers that cascaded over and down the side of the large basket. Taking a steadying breath, she walked into the store, ready to face Drew; ready to fight for him.

  “Grace?” David Tensley’s face was a mixture of shock and pleasure.

  “Hi, David.”

  “I didn’t know you were coming back.” His eyes were bright. “Drew didn’t say anything.”

  “I haven’t told him yet. We’ve . . . things are . . .” she faltered, unable to find the words she needed.

  “You hurt him. He told me about your young man, John. His brother, I suppose.”

  She felt the familiar sting of tears. “I know.” She sniffed and met his eyes. “I need to see him. I need to tell him I was wrong.”

  David’s face softened. “He’s gone, love. I don’t know when we’ll see him again.”

  Her stomach dropped. “Where? Where did he go?”

  “He’s determined to find his birth family. Said he had to set himself right.”

  A tear slipped past her carefully constructed mask of control. “Well, that’s . . . that’s great. I hope we can still be friends, David. Even if Drew and I aren’t.”

  “Dear girl, of course we are. He’ll come round. Sooner or later.”

  “What about Sarah?” she asked, afraid of the answer.

  “Sarah?”

  “He’s with her, isn’t he?”

  “Good lord, I hope not! She came round a month or so ago, trying to get her hooks in him at his cousin’s wedding in Surrey. He gave her the boot before she knew what happened.”

  A thrill raced through her at his words. “Really? Good.”

  She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips.

  “Don’t lose heart. He’ll come home if he knows what’s good for him.”

  She placed the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter and marveled at how her situation had changed. She was a self-dependent thirty-three-year-old woman, with a blossoming career and a baby on the way.

  As much as her heart ached to be with Drew, she realized how far she’d come from her co-dependent relationship with John. She smiled as pride bubbled inside her. I can do this. I can do this. She repeated the mantra in her head several times as she put away the groceries. Her body ached with fatigue from pregnancy and travel combined. She trudged to her room and fell into bed, sleep crashing over her almost immediately.

  “Grace? Grace? Wake up.” Valerie’s voice was distant and muffled.

  Grace blinked her eyes open and pulled the pillow off of her head. “What?”

  “It’s six o’clock in the evening. You’ve been sleeping for five hours.”

  She yawned and stretched her arms above her head. Her stomach grumbled. “Mmm, I need to eat.”

  “I ordered a pizza. Is that all right with you?”

  “Yes! That sounds amazing.”

  She stood and was surprised at the absence of the nausea that had become her constant companion. She padded into the kitchen and tore open the package of crackers she’d bought at Ten’s earlier. As she munched on one with care, Valerie observed her with a cautious look on her face.

  “So?”

  “So, what?”

  “Ten’s? Drew? What happened?”

  Grace sat at the table, crackers in hand. “He wasn’t there. His dad was, though. Drew’s gone searching for his birth parents. David has no idea when he’ll come back.”

  “Oh, Grace.”

  She shook her head. “It’s fine. He’ll be here eventually. The good news is, he’s not with Sarah, never was, according to David. When he does come home, I’m ready to fight for him.”

  While they waited for the pizza to be delivered, they flipped through the channels on TV and chatted about mundane things like celebrity gossip. Grace caught sight of her old copy of Pride and Prejudice on the bookshelf.

  “Hey! I can’t believe I left this here.” She grabbed it and flipped through it. “I haven’t read this in a while. Usually, I reread it every year. John always teased me—” She stopped when an envelope fell out of the middle of the book.

  “What’s that?” Valerie asked, interest piqued.

  “It’s John’s note. I forgot I put it in here when we moved for safe keeping.” She ran her fingers across the scrawl of her name in John’s handwriting.

  “Haven’t you read it?”

  She shook her head. “I haven’t been ready.” She sat on the overstuffed chair by the fireplace and stared down at this last link to the man she’d loved so deeply.

  “Give me a minute?”
she asked, her eyes pleading.

  “Yep, sure. I’ll um, go check on the pizza outside. Maybe he got lost.”

  Her fingers shook as she tore open the envelope. She forced herself to breathe long and slow as she pulled the single sheet of paper out.

  Her eyes filled with tears as she began reading.

  My Grace,

  I know it might seem dark and dreary of me to write a letter to you in case I die. I hope you never have to read this, but I need to make sure that should something happen to me, you don’t go your whole life without knowing this.

  I love you. Now and always. No matter what our situation. I’ve never been very good at telling you that. You’re the one person who’s always been honest with me and loved me openly. I know I sometimes seem closed off and uninterested, but believe me, that’s not the case. I don’t tell you enough, but I love you more than any single person in this world.

  If you’re reading this letter, I’m gone. (What a cliché, right?) I hope that by now I’ve gotten the courage to get over myself and marry you and start a family. I hope our kids are grown and we’re old and had a long life together. No matter what, I want you to do me a favor. Find someone to love you.

  You deserve to be loved and loved well. I count myself lucky that I got to be the one to love you for as long as I did. If I know you, and I think I do, you’ll box up your heart and feel guilty any time you look at another man. Don’t do that. You need to give me up. Move on with your life and be the person you’re supposed to be.

  Find someone to give you the love you deserve for the rest of your days.

  Loving you always,

  John

  She pressed her fingers to her lips in an attempt to stop their trembling. Why did you wait? Why didn’t you just tell me this? Her heart ached for what she didn’t get to have with John, for all the things she’d missed, and for the truth in his words. She wished she’d read this letter before Drew, before Braley.

  Maybe things wouldn’t be such a colossal mess now.

  Chapter 29

  It was getting harder to hide her growing belly and Grace sighed as she squeezed herself into a pair of yoga pants and a loose top. She was twelve weeks along and her stomach had the beginnings of a baby bump rather than mere bloat.

  Now that her morning sickness had abated, she was able to continue her runs, just as long as there was a bathroom easily accessible at all times. She checked her reflection in the mirror and was satisfied at the camouflage her baggy top afforded before she headed out for a morning jog.

  With her earbuds in place and hair swinging in a high ponytail, she jogged along her usual path. Her playlist was happy, positive, and fun to run to. It put a smile on her face as she soaked up the sun of late spring. The sun was rising earlier each day, but she didn’t race to meet it as she used to.

  It was still early, six-fifteen, the sky was clear and blue with a bright crispness to it. The town looked so beautiful in the early morning, quiet with the exception of the delivery trucks making rounds to local businesses and the beginnings of people heading off to their offices. A few smiled and waved as she passed by.

  Her hips had loosened up due to the prenatal yoga videos she’d started doing daily and she felt good. The honeymoon period of pregnancy. She remembered reading about the second trimester and was happy to have finally turned that corner.

  She took a deep breath and pushed her speed a little, getting a steady stride that tested her endurance, but didn’t push too far. Her feet hit the pavement in a satisfying and steady rhythm, sending little jolts up her legs. She was easing into her second mile, the path that took her past Drew’s house. It was hard for her to pass by each day and see the dark windows.

  A scraping sound brought her attention to an untied shoelace just as she rounded the corner to his street. She bent to tie her shoe and took the opportunity to stretch her hamstrings as she rose.

  That was when she saw him.

  She had to blink hard and look again to make sure he was really there. He was standing outside, a large suitcase on the sidewalk next to him. He looked tired, scruffy, and incredibly sexy. Her hormones on overdrive, she felt a wave of lust wash over her and the heat of a blush rise in her cheeks.

  He was dressed in a hooded sweatshirt of midnight blue and faded jeans that fit just right. His Converse tennis shoes were old and scuffed; she remembered they were his favorite. She stood, watching him as he raked his fingers through his unkempt hair and took his bag in hand. She wanted to call out, but the lump that had formed in her throat wouldn’t let her.

  His eyes fixed on her at that moment, as if he’d heard her unspoken words. He dropped his hand from the suitcase and raised it to run across his face. He stared at her in disbelief for what seemed like an eternity.

  She didn’t know what to do. Her carefully laid-out scenarios hadn’t included this one. What to say, do, or even think completely escaped her as she held her ground, twenty feet away from the man she loved so desperately.

  She lifted a hand and offered a weak wave. A ghost of a smile showed on his lips as he returned the awkward gesture. His face was just as she’d remembered it, causing a bittersweet ache in her chest.

  “Hi,” she said as she began to close the distance between them.

  “Hi.” His eyes were guarded.

  “So, I’m back.”

  “I can see that.”

  “I’ve got so much I need to say to you.”

  “Not now.” His glare was hard.

  She dropped her eyes to his scuffed shoes, fighting back tears of disappointment. “I’m so . . . so—”

  Before she could finish her apology, his lips were on hers, urgent and demanding. He moaned, a sound so raw her heart hurt. His hand wrapped around the back of her neck, holding her to him. She consciously kept her body away from his, not wanting him to find out her secret accidentally in the middle of the street. He pulled away and stared into her eyes.

  “I’m still angry, but God help me, I need you so much.”

  “Drew, I need to tell you—”

  He put a finger to her lips. “Come with me.”

  He took her hand and led her inside, leaving his luggage sitting on the sidewalk. His house smelled of stale air and the emptiness of long-term absence. A thin coating of dust covered the coffee table and entertainment center and there was a tidy pile of mail sitting on the kitchen counter.

  David must have come and collected his mail. Her thoughts drifted to the mundane details of the situation, while she should have been planning just how she was going to tell Drew all she needed to say.

  “God, Grace. I can’t be without you, no matter how you hurt me.”

  “I’m so sorry. I can’t even explain why I did it. I think I thought I was saving you from me. I let my fear take over. You . . . You deserve so much more than me.”

  His hands cupped her face. “You daft woman. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve told you and told you. Why won’t you hear me?”

  Tears fell from her eyes as her fears were beaten into submission at his words. “I love you, Drew. You. No one else.”

  His lips crushed against hers. His need was apparent as she pressed her body to his. Drew’s hands roamed along her sides, down her torso to cup her breasts, heavy and tender.

  He murmured against her neck in appreciation. “You’re so beautiful.”

  His hands fell to her hips and massaged gently, fingers trailing under the hem of her shirt. Her eyes flew open in alarm as his hands covered the gentle swell of her belly. She stepped away on reflex.

  “Grace?” He pulled back, questioning eyes connecting with hers.

  “I’ve got some news,” she said, placing a hand on her belly. She took in the widening of his eyes as he realized what she was about to say. “It was
when you came to see me. After everything, I forgot my pills. It was stupid. I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” His hands cupped her barely-there belly, a look of reverence crossing his features.

  “I’m not trying to trap you. If this . . . us, isn’t going to work, I’ll understand. I just, I don’t want this baby to be without its father.”

  “Oh, Grace.” He smiled, a real and true smile, filled with joy and so infectious that her lips lifted along with his. “This is brilliant.”

  He dropped to his knees and hugged her to him, his arms around her hips and his lips pressed to her belly. She threaded her fingers through his thick hair and felt hope for the first time in a long time.

  Pregnant.

  Grace was pregnant.

  He was meant to be a father. His heart swelled, filled with emotions. Drew took a deep breath as he looked at Grace sleeping soundly in his bed, one hand resting lightly on the small swell of her belly. Her words, I’m not trying to trap you. I don’t want this baby to be without its father, ran through his head. How could she think I wouldn’t want her? She made a soft noise as she shifted in her sleep and he felt an uncontrollable desire to run his fingers through her silky hair.

  He’d been holding her just a few minutes before, sleeping curled up against her soft body. Being with her felt right, good, and natural. Being without her had felt like a part of him was missing.