Love to Hate You

by Liliana Rhodes

  As I entered the main gallery, an item to the right caught my eye. It was an oval mirror from the mid-19th century. I thought for a moment about stopping and admiring myself, but I didn't need a mirror to tell me I looked good.

  Now that I had more important things to do than spend my days surfing, my once sandy-colored hair had darkened, but I refused to give up some of my old style. The top of my hair was longer than the sides and tended to flop to the side. I ran my fingers through my hair to push it back, but it had a mind of its own. My new tuxedo was custom tailored by Becca's friend Deborah Hansen and fit me like a glove. It was time to put it to some good use. I didn't plan to spend the night alone.

  I walked slowly through the gallery, taking everything and everyone in. The main hall was a large open space with white partitions that created alcoves for the exhibits. At the back of the room was the bar where I told Becca to meet me.

  Ahead of me was a seating area with a long couch where I recognized several people Becca and I worked with. Figuring I should say hi, I sauntered over to them. They were so deep in conversation that they didn't notice my joining them.

  "I remember when she waitressed at that place with the trolley on her shirt. She should have stayed there," Daryl grumbled.

  Daryl had been working at City Hall for years and thought he deserved every new opportunity. He was never happy with his own position and disliked anyone new. Gabriel had to deal with him on a regular basis to keep his licenses for the gym and the fight venues current. This direct contact with my brother made Daryl believe he was more important than he really was.

  Despite how much I dragged my feet, I finished my education for my architecture degree in the spring. I was in the middle of looking for a place to complete my licensing hours when my brother created the grant. Gabriel anticipated some blowback after appointing Becca as the project manager, so he arranged with Canyon Cove's mayor for me to do my hours on this project.

  Gabriel never asked me to defend Becca and I knew she could take care of herself, but when I met Daryl and heard some of the negative comments he made about her after I started, I couldn't help myself. He thought that since she had been a waitress that she was beneath him. I had no tolerance for bullies. After that, Becca and I became good friends.

  I cleared my throat as I narrowed my eyes at Daryl.

  "You want to tell me why she should have stayed there, Daryl? Do you really think you could manage the South End revitalization half as well as her?" I asked.

  "You can defend your little girlfriend all you want, Gideon, a waitress shouldn't be in charge of this," he said.

  "She was always more than a waitress. You know she had also been working for the Housing Authority for five years. You also know she got that job because of her degree in Urban Planning."

  "Whatever. Everyone knows she only got the job because her bestie married your brother."

  I wanted to punch him just to make him shut the hell up, but it wasn't like me to lose my cool like that. I couldn't stand when someone criticized another person, and it was even worse when they weren't there to defend themselves.

  "Daryl, I think everyone here will point out that you were never under consideration for the position because you're a lazy jackass."

  He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. Just seeing him speechless was good enough. I left them and continued towards the bar. I hated to leave Becca waiting.

  I scanned the bar as I approached but quickly forgot about my friend. Instead, I spotted the woman I’d be taking home that night. Her back was towards me, but just in the way she filled out her little black dress, I knew it would be hard to find anyone hotter that night. I drank her in, from her black high heels up her legs to the swell of her hips. Her dress was cut low in the back, revealing several seductive freckles on her creamy skin. Her brown hair was up in one of those fancy twists that exposed her long neck. I was sure it was begging for my lips.

  As I came up behind her, I placed my hand on the bar so that when she turned around, she’d already be in my arms. The bartender was talking to her and eyed me suspiciously as I moved closer to her. She smelled sweet and familiar, like lilacs, and I immediately wanted more of her.

  "Hey there, gorgeous, I’m Gideon. Gideon Kohl."

  "Of course I know who you are," she said with a laugh. "I was wondering when you would get here."

  Becca turned around and kissed my cheek. For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. What happened to my cute friend? This wasn't her, this was a knockout. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

  I took a step back to give her some space and twisted my ring around my finger to ground myself.

  "I just got here," I said. "You look…beautiful. But where are your freckles?"

  So many other things flashed through my mind at that moment that seeing Becca looking like this had me out of sorts. She looked better than beautiful, she looked delicious. I wanted to taste her. But I couldn’t say that. I couldn't tell my best friend I wanted to savor every inch of her body.

  She laughed. "My freckles? Really? That's what you notice? I'm wearing make up. Hmm, I guess you've never seen me dressed up before."

  "Well, you clean up well," I said, mentally kicking myself for sounding like an idiot.

  "So do you." She giggled and looked away shyly. "I’m not used to seeing you in a tuxedo. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you in a suit."

  "Yeah, suits really aren’t my thing, but I know it's standard fare for these fundraisers so I got a tux."

  "And the bow tie?" she asked as she reached up and straightened my bow tie.

  "It's old school. You know how much I love shit like that. Plus you know it looks good on me. It's how I'm doing my part to bring sexy back."

  I spun around to give her a good look as she laughed. Our eyes met for a moment before she lowered her gaze. I spun my ring around my finger again.

  She placed her hand over my hands, then looked up at me with confusion in her eyes.

  "Is everything all right?" she asked.

  "Of course. Everything's perfect."

  "You’re playing with your ring. Whenever you start twisting that around, I know something’s bothering you."

  Damn her for knowing me so well.

  The ring had been in my family for years. It belonged to my grandfather and even though I never met him, it meant a lot to me. The ring was my only connection to my family besides my brother.

  I shoved my hands in my pockets to stop myself from playing with the ring, then forced a smile onto my face. I had grown into the habit of telling Becca everything, but now I had something I couldn’t say.

  Becca’s eyes flashed excitedly as someone behind me caught her attention. One of her hands shot up and she waved as she squeezed my arm with her other hand.

  "Oh, it’s Drake and Samantha Winslow," she said. "I’ve always been a big fan of his, and his wife is awesome. She introduced me to him a couple of weeks ago at one of our lunches at Mirabella’s. He told me he was going to be here and that he wanted to talk about our plans for the South End. I’ll catch up with you later."

  I didn’t know what took over me but before she walked away, I grabbed a hold of her waist and pulled her against me. I didn’t want her talking to another man, I wanted her all to myself.

  I wanted to kiss her, but not like the peck she gave me before. I wanted to give her a kiss that made her think of me differently. I wanted her to think about me and that kiss for the rest of the night. I wanted that kiss to make her as vulnerable and confused as I was feeling right now. But I couldn't do what I wanted.

  Becca’s eyes flicked up at me. She didn’t have to say anything, her face always said what she was thinking and feeling. She was wondering why I stopped her, why I was holding her. But I couldn’t tell her why, so I let her go.

  I watched her as she walked away. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. How did I never notice that wiggle in her ass before? Why didn't I ever look at her this way before? It wasn't just h
er being dressed up, there was something more.

  Eddie Salvador knocked on the bar to get the bartender’s attention. He worked in an office down the hall from Becca. He was in his early thirties, but the deep grooves in his weathered skin made him look older.

  "Hey, Gideon, how have you been?" he asked, his voice gravelly.

  "I’m alright, Eddie. Good to see you tonight. We appreciate your support," I said, reciting the lines I knew Becca would approve of.

  He leaned with his back against the bar. I didn’t turn to look at him even though I knew I was being impolite. I just couldn’t take my eyes off Becca.

  "Was that Becca I saw you talking to before?" he asked. "She’s looking good tonight."

  Eddie suddenly had my full attention. I tried to think about my other conversations with him. Was he married? Did he have a girlfriend? Maybe he was gay. The thought of another man looking at my Becca the way I was sent a flash of anger through me.

  "Yes, she is," I growled.

  "She seeing anyone? Because, you know, maybe I should show her a good time."

  My hands balled up into fists. In my mind, I imagined myself beating Eddie to a pulp, and it made me feel better. But I had to remind myself of my place. Becca was just my friend, my best friend. I had no claim on her, but I didn't want anyone else looking at her the way I was.

  "I don’t think that would be a good idea," I said. "She’s pretty serious with someone right now."

  "Oh, that’s too bad. I’ve never seen anyone else around her, other than you of course. I thought maybe she was available."

  "She’s not," I lied. "And he’s very jealous too so if I were you, I wouldn’t flirt with her or even compliment her. I don’t think you should talk to her at all. Just keep things professional."

  Out of the corner of my eye, Becca finished talking to the Winslows and was making her way farther into the party. My plan of finding a woman to take home that night was out the window. I couldn't have the one I wanted. My new plan was to keep an eye on my best friend.

  I couldn’t explain what was going on in my mind. Was this just a one-night thing with Becca? Would things go back to normal tomorrow? Or was this the start of something new?

  As I followed her from a distance, I kept reminding myself of one thing — Becca was my best friend. I’d be an idiot to screw that up.

  Tonight, I would make sure no one bothered her, no one got too close to her, and I'd enjoy the view while I did. Tomorrow, everything would go back to normal. But even as I tried to convince myself of that, I knew I was wrong.

  Chapter Two

  Becca

  Three Months Later

  I was running around the house in a new pair of black yoga pants and a light blue t-shirt doing some last-minute clean up when the doorbell rang. As I slid towards the door in my socks, I spotted my lopsided pile of mail on the counter. Clutching the pile to my chest, I raced into the kitchen, opened a drawer, and dumped the mail in. Carefully closing the drawer, I made sure none of the envelopes slipped out.

  "I'll be right there," I called out.

  Cinder, my ten-year-old black Lab, tilted her head as she watched me run over to the Christmas tree in the corner. I had visited the shelter several months ago as part of the revitalization project and once I saw her, I had to have her. She reminded me of a dog I had growing up, there was no way I could leave her there.

  Once I plugged in the lights, the tree gave the room a warm glow. It was the day after Christmas, and I wanted to light the tree as often as I could before I had to pack it back up.

  The doorknob twisted before Cassie knocked on the door impatiently.

  "Come on, Becca," she said. "It's cold out here. Let me in."

  "I'm coming," I said as I turned around and gave the room a final once over.

  It was Cassie's first time there since the renovations had been completed a month ago and I was excited to have her over. Cassie and I met when she answered my ad for a roommate. We hit it off immediately and I convinced my uncle, a mixed martial arts trainer, to interview her when he was looking for a physical therapist for his team. My uncle's boss was Gabriel Kohl, and now he and Cassie were married and raising his daughter. It was another of my favorite couple stories, especially because I had a hand in it.

  Cassie stomped her feet and rubbed her arms as I opened the door. "I could have frozen to death out there," she said.

  "It's not that cold, you can't even see your breath. Plus you were in the hall, drama queen. I just wanted everything to look perfect for you."

  She laughed as we hugged. "You know I can't stand the cold." Cinder came over and shoved her head against Cassie's thigh. She knelt down to pet her, and Cinder licked her face. "I can't believe this place, Becca. It doesn't look anything like it did when I lived here. I mean, look at these hand-scraped floors and granite countertops. You even tore down the wall between our apartment and the Nelsons’. I can't believe how big this place looks now that it's one house instead of two apartments. This had to cost you a fortune!"

  "Well, you know what a dump this place was and what the neighborhood was like, so I got it pretty cheap. Then I had a lot of help with fixing it up."

  "I know, I heard all about that," she said with a sly grin as she took off her coat. "Gideon worked his ass off here. I had no idea he was so handy. Then again, it is you."

  "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

  "Give me a break, Beck. I know I always tease you about being more than friends, but be honest with yourself. Do you really think any man is going to do all this work just for his friend?"

  It was a question I had asked myself plenty of times over the past six months since I bought the house. Gideon insisted on helping me with all the work. What he couldn't do, he found the people who would do it. And now that I thought about it, I realized I never paid for any of it. He told me they'd bill me, and I was so busy with work that I never realized no one did. Gideon must have taken care of it and I was too dense to piece it together.

  "I'm sorry," she said. "Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut about it, but I really thought you could figure it out on your own. You're not just friends."

  "We are, Cassie. I swear. Okay, I'll admit it, I've been a little obsessive about this job and I've obviously ignored certain things, but if Gideon thought of me as more than just a friend, I'd know it."

  She entered the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.

  "Have you asked him?" she asked.

  "I don't have to, I'd know. Besides, you know how he is. He flirts with every one. And he's always falling in love. He doesn't just like someone, it's always love. You know that."

  "I also know that he hasn't seen anyone in at least three months."

  "Oh? Three months?" I asked as I turned away from her to hide how curious I was. "Did he say that? Why do you say it's been three months?"

  "Because I remember that night at the Boone with the fundraiser. That was also around the time he moved into Gabriel's old penthouse downtown."

  None of this was news to me, Gideon and I texted every night. But since the fundraiser, I kept thinking something had changed with him. I couldn't put my finger on it though.

  "I think you're reading into things too much," I said, more to myself than Cassie. "The past few months for Gideon have also been crazy. His architectural design firm really took off after he finished Mason Abernathy's eco ranch. I think he's having a hard time dealing with his own success."

  "Maybe," she said. "You do know him better than I do. I guess if something was going on with him Gabriel would have said something. You know they're close."

  She pulled out a chair from the small round wooden kitchen table and sat down. As I handed Cinder a biscuit, she flung it into the air and jumped after it as I sat down across from Cassie.

  "How is Gabriel? Is he out with Wendy tonight?"

  "No, they're home, it's movie night. I was tempted to stay, but I thought they should have some quality time without me around. She never sa
ys anything, but I'm sure she misses having her dad all to herself."

  "The way you two get along? She loves you, Cassie. It's obvious."

  "About as obvious as you and Gideon being more than friends," she said.

  "Really? I thought we were done talking about him."

  She shook her head. "As one of your best friends, I reserve the right to bring up Gideon whenever I want."

  "I think I need to demote you."

  "And where is this friend of yours tonight?" she asked as she arched her brow.

  "I don't know, maybe a date or something. Gideon doesn't tell me everything he does, you know."

  "You're lying," she said. "I can tell because you're scrunching your nose."

  I sighed as I pursed my lips. I had to be the worst liar on the planet.

  "Fine, just don't make it a big deal that I know. He said he was going out with some friends tonight," I said.

  "And? I know that's not all."

  "Gosh, you can be a real ballbuster when you want to be, you know that?" I asked, teasing her.

  "I do know. Gabriel tells me all the time," she said with a grin. "Now spill, are you seeing your friend Gideon later? Just because he's going out with some friends, it doesn't mean you can't see him afterwards."

  "I heard that, how you said friend. I know what you're thinking, but really, that's all he is. Maybe he'll text me later, but that's it. For the last time, we are just friends. Nothing more."

  Cassie pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at me as she tried to figure out if I was lying.

  "You know friends sometimes make the best lovers. You've never thought about something more with him?"

  I squirmed in my seat and looked away, wanting to hide my lack of a poker face from her.

  "No, never. I've only ever thought of him as a friend," I said.