Heartland

by Julie Cannon

  Shivley crossed the kitchen, stood behind Rachel, and began massaging the tight muscles in her neck. “You should go back to bed. It’s still an hour until we need to get up and get started.”

  “If I do, then you’ll have to stop what you’re doing and I don’t want you to. It feels wonderful.”

  Shivley stopped and quickly lifted her hands from the warm neck. Oh my God, what am I doing? She was shocked that she had so casually started rubbing Rachel’s neck, as if she’d done it every night for years. She was even more appalled that she had laid her hands on a guest so intimately, something she would never dream of doing. Other than basic first aid and hugs from friends and family, Shivley had not touched a woman since Dale died. She missed the softness of a woman’s skin, the way her fingers glided over tight muscles and the curves of hips, the underside of breasts heavy with desire, filling her palm.

  The gentle sound of her name floating from Rachel’s lips was almost enough to push Shivley over the edge. Her hands were trembling, and if it weren’t for the counter she was leaning against, her whole body would have been shaking as well. Rachel’s skin was so warm and soft she fought the urge to caress it for the rest of her life. The images in her bizarre dreams instantly came back to her, but the only face she saw this time was Rachel’s.

  “Shivley?” Rachel said, her voice heavy with concern. “Shivley, what is it? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” She rattled off the questions, hardly giving Shivley a chance to answer any of them.

  “I’m fine. Really,” Shivley added, noting the expression of disbelief on Rachel’s face. She wasn’t fine, and Rachel standing so close to her was not helping her regain her equilibrium in the slightest. “I’m the one that should be apologizing to you. I never should have done that.” Even to her own ears the apology sounded weak.

  “Done what?”

  Shivley wanted to step away. No, she needed to get away from Rachel, but the pounding of her heart and the throbbing in her crotch was intercepting the command between her brain and her legs. “Rub your neck. I never should have done that.”

  “Why?” Rachel sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest.

  “Because you’re a guest.”

  “So?”

  “So? So, you’re my guest and I shouldn’t be touching you like that.”

  “Why not?” Rachel slowly stood. “What if I wanted you to?” She stepped closer.

  Shivley looked at the red lips only inches from hers. “That’s not the point.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

  “What is the point?”

  Rachel licked her lips, narrowing the space between herself and Shivley until her lips were so close Shivley could almost taste them. Her pulse was in hot pursuit of her heart and it pounded deep in her chest. The lips moved closer and there was no doubt in her mind of Rachel’s intentions. She was at a loss to think of any reason to stop her. “The point is that—”

  “The point is,” Rachel interrupted, “I’m going to kiss you.”

  The first touch of Rachel’s lips took her breath away. The kiss was soft and tentative, as if Rachel were asking permission to continue, not assuming that it would. Rachel released her lips, giving Shivley the chance to break off the kiss. When she didn’t protest, Rachel once again covered her mouth, this time more sure of herself. Shivley was aware of nothing but the sensation of soft lips caressing hers. When Rachel’s tongue lightly tickled her bottom lip, she shuddered. She hadn’t been kissed like this in a long time, and until this moment, she hadn’t realized how much she missed it. Shivley shifted from being an observer to an active participant in the experience.

  Rachel registered the instant Shivley dropped her defenses, and she drew her into her arms. Shivley did not object; on the contrary, strong arms wound around Rachel’s neck and pulled her closer. She took that as an invitation to deepen their kiss, and her tongue entered Shivley’s warm, wet mouth. Shivley moaned and Rachel was certain Shivley wouldn’t stop her because they both were obviously enjoying the exchange. God, she can kiss!

  The sound of a throat clearing penetrated the haze of desire that had cloaked Shivley like a warm summer sky. She reacted first and quickly lowered her hands and pulled Rachel’s arms from around her waist. She glanced over Rachel’s shoulder, hoping it was not one of the women from upstairs. Guilt flooded her when she met the questioning eyes of Ann.

  Chapter Eleven

  Shivley untangled herself and shot Rachel an apologetic look before stepping around her. “Good morning.” She glanced at the clock. “You’re up early. I didn’t expect you.” Shivley knew how stupid her greeting sounded. She wouldn’t have carried on like this if she expected Ann to walk in at any moment.

  “Obviously. Should I come back later, or would you two like some coffee?” Ann’s expression turned from concerned to teasing. “Or maybe a cold shower?”

  Rachel replied first. “That’s not a bad idea.” What she really wanted was to continue kissing Shivley for hours, but she knew there was zero chance of that happening, at least not this morning. She turned on her heel, headed for the shower, and left the two women standing in the middle of the kitchen.

  “Don’t say it.” Shivley raised her hand, palm out.

  “I wasn’t going to say a word.”

  “Yes, you were.” Shivley knew better and wasn’t up to answering the questions lurking behind Ann’s eyes. However, she didn’t have any choice.

  “Sit down and tell me about it while I make the coffee.” Ann was more than Shivley’s housekeeper. They had been friends for more years than Shivley could remember, with no sexual attraction between them to get in the way of anything but a wonderful friendship. Shivley valued Ann’s opinion, and the only advice Ann ever gave, Shivley had asked for.

  Shivley filled Ann in on the early morning activities, specifically omitting her reaction to Rachel’s kisses. She knew Ann would read between the lines and wasn’t disappointed.

  “I’m pretty sure the answer is yes, but is Rachel the first woman you’ve kissed since Dale?” Shivley nodded. She didn’t count the kiss a few months ago at a party. That was more of an assault than a kiss. “And?”

  “And what?” Shivley pretended she didn’t know what Ann was asking. The look she received told her Ann didn’t believe she was that dense. “It was okay.”

  “That didn’t look like just okay to me.”

  “All right, it was more than just okay. I liked it.”

  “That’s better. I know it’s been a long time, but shouldn’t you be glowing and tittering like a schoolgirl?”

  Shivley covered her face with both hands as if she could rub away the situation. “I can’t do this. Besides the fact that she’s a guest, I just can’t.”

  “Why not? I admit it’s not the best policy to get involved with a guest, but if she’s offering and you’re interested, where’s the harm?”

  Shivley struggled to find the words that would adequately describe the rage of emotions surging through her body since that first moment she saw Rachel on the hard dirt road.

  She clearly remembered the first time she had gone out socially after Dale’s death. Her friends had nagged her for weeks to come to a party they were having, and she finally gave in to get them off her back. The first thing she remembered was that she didn’t have a clue what to wear. Every stitch of clothing she owned was bought to wear on the ranch and didn’t seem appropriate for a casual party. She refused to go out and buy something, because then it would be actually acknowledging it was a “social” occasion, and she wasn’t ready to “socialize.”

  Once she got there, she felt like she had stepped into the future. She and Dale had been together four years and she was definitely rusty in small talk. Besides, she was not in the dating game; she was sitting on the bench. The inane conversation with women half her age who had absolutely no idea of challenge, hardship, or even life, for that matter, bored her.

  The final straw was when she was talking to a woman who appeared to ha
ve it together, when she slowly lowered her head to kiss her. There was plenty of opportunity for Shivley to pull away, but she knew she had to get back in the saddle, so to speak, and she met the woman halfway. The kiss was not unpleasant and she actually enjoyed it until it turned demanding, the woman’s hands roaming like she had every right to.

  Panic and guilt swept over Shivley, and she pulled away. At least she tried to. The stranger must have thought all she needed was a little more convincing and held her tighter, pinning her to the patio rail. Shivley got her hands between them, pushing on her chest and twisting her mouth away. The woman finally got the clue and turned her loose. Shivley didn’t hear the choice words behind her; she was halfway to the front door.

  “Shivley?” Ann’s question pulled her back to the present.

  Shivley had felt something very different for Rachel, a complete stranger, and it had rattled her more than she expected. She knew nothing about Rachel other than she was gorgeous and a fabulous kisser. She shuddered to think Rachel might have a girlfriend stowed away somewhere. She thought otherwise. Someone as smooth in seduction as Rachel would never allow herself to be caught.

  “I feel guilty.”

  “Shivley, it’s been four years since Dale died. Did you hear me? Dale died. Not you. You are alive and need to start living. I know you loved Dale and she loved you, but she wouldn’t expect you to never find happiness again. She told us as much.” Ann’s eyes softened with her last words.

  Ann was right and Shivley knew it. She and Dale had talked late into the night shortly before she died, and Dale had made it very clear that she did not expect Shivley to remain alone the rest of her life. “That’s not it, Ann.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Shivley couldn’t describe the thoughts she was having more frequently. One minute she could put her finger on it and the next, it had slipped through and was just out of her grasp. Ann placed another steaming cup of coffee in front of her and sat down across the table.

  “Shivley, I’m your best friend and I can tell you this as well as anyone else, but you have to listen to me.” Shivley studied her with interest. “Sister, you need to get laid.”

  Shivley had just sipped her coffee, and Ann’s stark words sent the hot liquid down the wrong pipe. She coughed and slapped herself on the chest. Her plight didn’t faze Ann in the slightest.

  “Yep, a good, old-fashioned, honest-to-goodness fuck. That’s what you need.” Ann shook her head and wore a satisfied look as if she had just figured out a magician’s secret. “The kind that absolutely blows your mind and knocks your socks off. You don’t ever want to get out of bed, and when you do, all you can think about is getting back in with the warmest, sexiest woman in the world. The way she touches you…”

  Between the heat from Rachel’s kisses and Ann’s descriptions, Shivley had heard enough. “I get it, Ann.”

  “Oh, sorry.” Ann waved her hand in front of her face, fanning herself. “Maybe I need to take my own advice.” She stood. “Guess I’d better get breakfast started. Everyone should be getting up soon.”

  “Good idea. Get started on something you know something about and stay out of my business,” Shivley grumbled with a poorly disguised smile.

  Ann nodded her head toward the doorway as she spoke. “It’s not me who wants to get into your business.”

  Shivley knew Rachel was standing behind her without having to turn around. Her pulse quickened and she wondered just how much of their conversation Rachel had overheard. She didn’t have to wait long to find out.

  Rachel walked into the kitchen and spoke so only Shivley could hear. “She’s right, you know. A good fuck does wonders.” She continued to the coffeepot, barely breaking stride. Filling her cup, she glanced over her shoulder for Shivley’s reaction. Unmasked lust stared back at her. She boldly returned the message. Before their heated exchange could ignite into flames and burn the house down, the remaining boarders stepped into the room, clamoring for coffee and breakfast.

  While they ate, Shivley gave the women a briefing of the day’s activities. She made eye contact with every woman except Rachel. If she had, images of fucking her, as Ann had so crudely put it, would dance in front of her and she would lose her train of thought and probably turn into a drooling idiot. She labeled it as self-protective behavior and kept her eyes and thoughts away from Rachel Stanton.

  The women set out right after breakfast, Shivley leading the way and Lucy trotting excitedly by her side. The sun was at their back, excited chatter from her guests filling the brisk morning air. Shivley had recently purchased the adjacent property, adding an additional four hundred acres to her holdings. As a result, the fence line needed to be extended to surround the new property before she could let her herd graze on the new land. The women would be spending the first part of the day digging holes, setting fence posts, and stringing barbed wire.

  Riding out, Shivley spent a few minutes with each woman, ensuring they were all comfortable in the saddle and answering questions. As she rode, she felt eyes watching her. One set she knew belonged to Christina. The woman had made her interest very clear to Shivley again this morning, and Shivley would have to tread lightly so as to not offend her. The other pair of eyes was watching her approach now.

  “Doing all right?” Shivley asked, her horse falling into cadence with Rachel’s.

  “A little stiff, but not nearly as much as some of the others,” Rachel replied, nodding at the other woman riding ahead of them.

  Shivley smiled, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, Ann handed out quite a few doses of ibuprofen this morning.” Rachel was one of the few women she had not given any pain reliever to. Shivley watched Rachel out of the corner of her eye as they rode comfortably along. Rachel knew what she was doing on the back of a horse. She sat tall and comfortable in the saddle, her legs fitting perfectly in the stirrups. She held the reins loosely, worn leather gloves protecting her hands from the elements. Her hat was pulled down low on her head, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. The sleeves of her shirt were rolled up to her elbows, exposing arms already tanned from the sun. The top three buttons of her shirt were open, but her neck was partially hidden under the blue bandana tied casually around her neck. By far Rachel was the most appropriately dressed for the day.

  They rode the remaining twenty minutes in silence, and when Gail and Bart dismounted next to a pile of shovels, picks, and an auger, Rachel finally spoke. “Damn, looks like the gremlins had the night off.”

  Rachel’s laughter was still ringing in Shivley’s ears when she dismounted and called the other women around.

  *

  Directions given and tools handed out, the women broke into teams and began the work for the day. Rachel was in the group with Sue, Cindy, and Joyce, all of whom were from New York so they chatted endlessly about familiar locations. Debra and Jane were with their pilot-turned-ranch hand Gail. Bart was teamed with Christina, Jackie, Ellen, and Becky, and Shivley was the foreman of the job. Shivley suspected that Rachel would know how to set a post, but kept an eye on her group nonetheless. She was not disappointed.

  While the rest of the women struggled with their turn with the auger, Rachel and Cindy handled it like seasoned veterans. Both women were tall and strong, a must for controlling the speed and direction of the hole-digging machine. As a matter of fact, several times Shivley found herself staring at Rachel standing with legs spread wide for balance, stripped down to a thin tank top, muscles glistening with sweat. Shivley knew her mouth had probably been hanging open as well.

  Once their forth hole was dug, Rachel took her canteen off her saddle horn and sat in the shade of a mesquite bush while Sue and Joyce dug out the loosened dirt with their shovels. As she looked around the group, she spotted Shivley helping Debra and Gail.

  Her shirt was off, revealing a well-developed upper body clad only in a short-sleeve white T-shirt, her damp sports bra soaked through the thin fabric. The muscles in her legs strained against her jeans when she lifted the heavy p
ost from the stack into place in the hole. Mission accomplished, she took off her hat and wiped the sweat from her face with her green bandana. Rachel had been with many beautiful women, but none had the natural beauty Shivley was displaying now. It was raw and effortless, unlike the synthetic breasts, manufactured faces, and liposuctioned tummies of the women she associated with. She was suddenly very thirsty and could almost taste the salt on Shivley’s skin. Her canteen was halfway to her lips when Shivley turned and looked at her. She froze, her body instantaneously on fire, neither woman breaking the connection.

  Rachel could hardly breathe, and it was not from her recent physical exertion. Shivley’s eyes devoured her and she felt as if they were the only two people on earth. The sun was shining and the light breeze in the air did nothing to cool her heated skin. She wanted to go to Shivley, to have her hands touch her body the way her eyes were caressing her now. She wanted to make love with her under the clear blue sky with nothing but nature between them. She was parched for connection and Shivley was her beverage of choice.

  Shivley heard her name called from somewhere far away, and each time it seemed to be coming closer until she realized Debra was standing right next to her. By the look on Debra’s face, she must have called her name several times before it penetrated her lust-filled brain.

  When she had turned and saw Rachel watching her, Shivley fell into the vortex of her gaze. It felt as if the world around her was spinning and she and Rachel were standing perfectly still in the center. Shivley literally could not move. She had never seen such yearning, such unmasked desire directed at her. She was both thrilled and frightened by what she saw and didn’t know which one to act on first.