The Painted Sky

by Alice Campion

  ‘Jim,’ Harrison had said, grabbing him by the shoulders. ‘Look, this is impossible. We have to end this. You know we do.’

  ‘Shhh, Harrison, shhh.’ Jim put a finger to Harrison’s mouth.

  ‘For Christ’s sake,’ Harrison whispered as Jim’s lips brushed his.

  Jim laughed. ‘We both know why you’re here.’ He leaned forward and kissed Harrison on the lips, this time passionately.

  Harrison tried to brush him away but it was too much. He grabbed Jim roughly, rubbing his hands through the light curly hair, then down across his chest. There were no more words. He shivered as Jim grabbed at his belt and unbuckled it, swearing under his breath as he fumbled. And all his self-made promises fell away, along with his clothes.

  He gasped as Jim grabbed him.

  ‘You see, Harrison,’ Jim whispered in his ear, his tongue caressing, teasing him. ‘You can’t help it. You want me. You will always want me.’

  ‘Jim … I … Jim …’ Harrison whispered, but there was no going back. He pulled Jim’s eager body to him and soon he was on the edge of the fountain, with Jim kneeling in front of him. Harrison’s legs automatically lifted and hooked over Jim’s broad shoulders, his weight resting on his spread palms, his head falling back like a rag doll’s. Later, they tumbled onto the soft leaves at the base of the fountain as they’d done countless times before, their limbs entwined, the moon the only witness to the shudders and the cries that echoed through that hot night.

  When it was over, Jim lay back, splashing like a child again in the few inches of water.

  Harrison had sat on the rim of the pool, head in hands. ‘I’m going to miss this so much. Being together,’ he had said.

  ‘Oh, come on. You weren’t serious, were you? After that little display of abandon, don’t tell me you don’t want more.’ Jim laughed.

  ‘For Christ’s sake, Jim, I’m serious.’

  ‘Oh, I see. Just like you were when I got married, right?’ Jim, now focused, was out of the water beside him. ‘That worked really well.’

  ‘Look, we can’t keep doing this to Julia, to Nina. It’s not right.’

  ‘Jesus, Harrison, don’t you know I worry about them all the time? But the thought of meeting you here has been the only thing keeping me sane all day.’

  ‘I know that, I know. I’m the same. But it’s over.’

  ‘No!’ Jim was shouting now. ‘I love you. Don’t do this.’

  ‘Jim, be sensible. There’s too much at stake.’

  ‘What if we could get away from here, start over?’

  ‘With what, Jim? And what about Julia and Nina? You’re just going to leave them to fend for themselves?’

  ‘Of course not,’ said Jim, angry now. ‘I’ll find a way around this. I will.’

  ‘No, you won’t, Jim. It’s over. I love you, I do. But it’s over. I’m sorry.’

  Harrison had thought he heard a sob as he reached the car but he got in, drove away and didn’t look back.

  CHAPTER 14

  Nina piled the last of the grocery bags in the back of the car and slammed the hatchback shut. She had been focusing so hard on her meeting with Harrison, going over and over it in her mind these past couple of weeks. And now that it was over and she’d had the chance to speak her mind, she felt adrift.

  ‘Hello, love! Back in town?’ On the other side of the street a woman she vaguely remembered from the engagement party was calling to her and seemed to be preparing to cross over for a chat. The last thing she felt like.

  ‘Yes. Maybe I’ll see you around?’ Nina replied with a wave as she swiftly closed the car door and turned on the engine.

  The woman paused on the pavement, clearly disappointed. No doubt the wine-slinging episode was still the source of gossip in the area, and Nina’s reappearance would soon be known across town.

  She steered the car out along the familiar stretch of highway to The Springs turnoff. She tried to push the image of Harrison’s anguished face from her mind. It was so strange to see her father through the eyes of an adult like Harrison rather than from her own childlike perspective. To understand that Jim was complicated and flawed, and not the idol of her memories.

  ‘He was in the heights of ecstasy one month and the pits of despair the next,’ Harrison had said. And what had the arts reviewer commented about his work? Bi-polar. But wasn’t she doing exactly what her father had done? Throwing away a perfectly happy, stable life in Sydney to go off on some mad quest? A sudden cold draught seemed to blow through her, raising goose bumps.

  Looking back at the past couple of weeks, she realised how closely her own behaviour mirrored his. Quitting a job other people would kill for. Renting out the flat so that there would be no going back, at least in the short term. Working so hard on doing up The Springs, even though no-one but Hilary would ever want to buy it.

  Her heart began to pound and she felt as though she were struggling for breath. Could this compulsion she felt to find her father be a symptom of the same emotional troubles that had affected him? She had been so wrapped up in the detail of the diary and letter and what they could mean that she had lost sight of the big picture.

  And then there was Heath. The feelings she had had for him right from the beginning had been so overwhelming, so over the top. She barely even knew the man. Nina suddenly saw herself from the outside – a crazy stalker who wanted, yes, actually wanted to break up a happy, healthy relationship.

  Breathing slowly, she forced herself to calm down. ‘I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy,’ she muttered like a mantra. And suddenly the scene came back to her, almost like a movie in its vivid colours and textures.

  ‘I’m not crazy, okay?’ Her father was lying under a blanket on the couch in the flat. He smelled bad and his hair was stringy.

  ‘I’m not saying you are, sweetheart.’ Her mother’s voice was cautious, calming, as though speaking to a wounded animal. ‘Lots of people take that kind of medication. Most of them find that it helps a lot.’

  ‘That’s fine if you want to be “normal”. I don’t want to be normal. Christ, I’m an artist. What are you trying to do? Lobotomise me? You’d love that, you control freak.’

  Nina couldn’t remember if it was day or night, but she was sitting on the floor next to the couch wearing her blue pyjamas, her favourite pair. And she was filled with a panicky need to see him laugh again. She clambered to her feet and pushed her backside right into his face. ‘Look, Dad! You’re bottomised!’ she had called out, laughing. Normally he would have laughed as well, maybe tickled her till she begged him to stop. But not this time. She felt a savage shove in the small of her back that sent her sprawling against the wall of the living room. Her nose smacked into the hard surface and she sat up, dazed, not understanding what had happened. Looking down, she found that blood was dripping onto the light blue pyjama top.

  ‘Get her the fuck out of here.’ She heard her father mutter as her mother’s hands lifted her.

  And then there was ice in a towel and a bath and clean pyjamas and no-one ever mentioned what had happened again.

  Her hands were shaking as she drove off the main road to The Springs. The memory had unnerved her. Enough. She was here now. She pulled over just metres from the verandah and sat for a second, staring ahead, her arms resting on the steering wheel. The late afternoon sun had shifted from its blinding zenith and was casting long shadows, but the heat was still oppressive. The shaded verandah and wicker chairs still looked clean and inviting.

  Nina opened the door of the packed car. On top of the pile of possessions was her painting of the faceless man in the Durham House ruins. She tucked it under one arm and grabbed a suitcase with the other. As she neared the front door she stopped. It was open. Who had been here? Were they still inside?

  ‘Moira?’ Nina called, pulling the screen door open. Maybe Harrison had told her that she was back.

  She stepped inside and propped the canvas against the hallway wall. ‘Moira?’

  No
thing.

  Nina felt a flicker of fear build inside her. She put her bag down, took a deep breath and walked across the breezeway and into her bedroom. No-one.

  But like the time she’d been burgled in Woolloomooloo, something was off. Her wardrobe door was ajar. A small table by her bed was at an odd angle and there was a smell, a vague sweetish scent that was familiar.

  ‘Moira?’ Still no answer. It’s nothing, she told herself, and walked back to the car to collect another load. In the distance, a metallic gleam highlighted by the setting sun caught her eye. What was that over at Durham House? She squinted. Two cars. Who was …?

  She knew almost before the question entered her mind. That cow. Nina’s head filled with a hot red tide and she found herself running. All of the day’s emotions channelled into an immense energy that seemed to flow out ahead of her towards the object of her anger. As her racing feet brought her closer, she saw the red Range Rover parked next to the gate just as she knew it would be. Next to Hilary’s car was a ute lettered with the words Renovations and Restorations – Jack Foot and Son, Master Builders.

  Nina pounded along the path to the fountain, taking in the scene at a glance. Silhouetted against the fading sky, Hilary stood smoking a cigarette. At her feet was a box with rolled-up papers sticking out the top. A man in shirtsleeves was studying a large blueprint plan at arm’s length.

  Nina stopped running and skidded towards them. ‘Get off my property,’ she rasped and then lapsed into a coughing fit.

  Hilary turned. ‘Oh, so you’re back? Ah, I’ll call you later, Jack. I’m heading into town now, but I’ll be in touch,’ she said to the man, who looked on, openly curious.

  He nodded to Nina as she recovered her breath but she glared back at him.

  ‘I’ll be off then,’ he said, scurrying towards his ute.

  ‘Why are you here?’ Nina demanded.

  ‘I just thought I’d check and see how the place had scrubbed up,’ Hilary said, as she waved at the departing cloud of dust from the ute. She spoke slowly, her manner calm.

  ‘I said, get off my property.’

  ‘Settle down,’ Hilary said. ‘Harrison told me you’d decided to sell after all. Everyone knows I’ve got plans for this place.’

  She blew a cloud of smoke and tossed her cigarette butt at Nina’s feet.

  ‘I mean it, Hilary. Go.’ Nina heard the quaver in her own voice as she tried to keep her temper. ‘This is not your place. It will never be your place if I can help it.’

  Hilary smiled. ‘We’ll see.’ She turned and walked towards her car.

  ‘And don’t tell me you weren’t in the house just now because the place reeks of you,’ Nina called after her, enraged at the thought of this woman being inside her home, no doubt sneering at all the work that she and Moira had done. ‘How did you get in? That’s trespass. I could have you arrested.’

  Hilary stood still for a second, then turned to face Nina. ‘I think you’re forgetting who I am,’ she said, folding her arms. ‘And of course you’ll sell me the place. The thought of someone like you trying to manage a property like this is laughable. You’re the district joke. Even your bloody dog couldn’t cope.’

  ‘You. Bitch,’ Nina managed, her throat tight with fury. ‘You are even more of a monster than I thought you were.’

  Hilary took a step back and Nina continued, her voice icy: ‘But before you fuck off, you can tell me what you know about Dad. And don’t fob me off like you did at the party. I know he was here. You did pick him up in your car on the highway, didn’t you?’

  Hilary looked at Nina for a long moment. ‘What if I did?’ Her face was hard but her eyes were distant. ‘I knew it was only a matter of time before things fell apart with your mother. And he knew I’d be here to catch him when that happened.’

  ‘Bullshit.’

  ‘He said he knew where the gold was. The Larkin nugget. It was the perfect chance to get away from you and your mother. He said you were destroying him, drowning all his artistic ambitions. He said I was the only one who ever understood him.’

  ‘You’re lying,’ Nina said. She felt torn in two. Her adult self knew this was madness, the result of Hilary’s fixation. But the child Nina felt herself crumpling, falling. He went to her … he went to her. Nina felt her shoulders slump as a wave of devastation flooded over her.

  But Hilary hadn’t finished.

  ‘I left him at the gate and that’s the last I saw of him, not –’ said Hilary, shooing a fly from her eyes – ‘that it’s any of your business.’

  Nina shook her head, astonished. Unbelievable! ‘Excuse me? He was my father. Of course it’s my business.’

  Hilary laughed, pulling her car keys from her bag. ‘Calm down. Now that I think of it, you do have more than a touch of the Julias about you. She was always meddling in other people’s business as well. Used to drive Jim mad.’ Hilary pushed past Nina and walked towards the car.

  ‘Not so fast,’ Nina snapped. ‘Answer me. What happened when you saw Dad? And what were you doing at The Springs?’

  ‘I could ask you the same question,’ Hilary said, opening the car door.

  ‘You know what?’ said Nina, looking at her in disgust. ‘I wouldn’t sell to you if you were the last person on earth.’

  ‘We’ll see about that.’ Hilary got into the car and leaned out the driver’s window as she started the engine. ‘It’s not an easy life out here. You have to know the place. Love it like I do. You haven’t got the right stuff. Your father loved this place and he loved me. He would have wanted me to have it.’

  Nina felt the bubble of rage building in her stomach rise to her throat. ‘Shut up,’ she said, her voice icy. Before she knew it she had reached in the window, turned off the ignition and grabbed the car keys.

  ‘Give those back,’ hissed Hilary, getting out of the car.

  ‘No. And don’t talk about my father like that.’ Nina stepped back, feeling nervous but triumphant.

  ‘You are being ridiculous,’ said Hilary, swiping ineffectively at the car keys that Nina now held aloft. ‘I knew your father better than anyone and, face it, he hardly knew you. Go back to the city where you belong. Just let this place go, for god’s sake. Now give me those keys.’

  ‘No. Not until you tell me what happened when you saw Dad,’ said Nina evenly. ‘What are you hiding?’

  ‘God. You are so boring, Nina. Jim hated boring. Now give me the keys.’

  ‘Yes, go home, Hilary. Go to poor Deborah. Thank god I had the mother I did and not a monster like you,’ Nina hissed, shaking. ‘I feel sorry for Deborah, really sorry. Everyone can see she’s embarrassed by you. You’re a joke.’

  As soon as she said the words Nina knew she’d gone too far.

  She saw a brief flash of a diamond ring and then her face was stinging.

  ‘Take that back!’ snapped Hilary.

  Nina staggered, shocked. ‘You hit me? Seriously? Fuck off, you cow!’ she shouted, as she raised a hand to her stinging cheek. And then Hilary’s hands were lashing out at her again. In seconds Nina was face down on the ground, her mouth and eyes full of grit.

  ‘Jesus, get off me,’ she spat. Hilary, heavier and more aggressive, straddled her back, pushing her head into the ground in what seemed a well-practised street move.

  ‘Not until you take that back,’ screeched Hilary, her full weight now on Nina, who was struggling to breathe.

  Nina inhaled a cloud of dust. Her eyes streamed. She somehow reached behind her and grabbed a lock of blonde hair and pulled as hard as she could.

  Hilary yelled out as she rolled off Nina’s back and lay sprawled by the fountain. In seconds she was on her feet and lashing out again but Nina was up and prepared this time. She pushed Hilary, who stumbled back again. Nina dropped to her knees, wiped her streaming eyes and realised she was holding a fistful of hair.

  ‘You have this coming,’ growled Hilary, back on her feet now and looming over her, palm raised.

  Nina braced for the pain.<
br />
  Silence. She opened her eyes.

  Hilary swayed in front of her. Her hair on end, her clothes torn, filthy. Nina thought she saw blood on her face but realised it was just red lipstick that had smeared. Hilary’s eyes looked troubled.

  Nina deftly grabbed the car keys from the ground and tossed them at Hilary. ‘Get off my property.’ She said it with a quiet force that seemed to intimidate her opponent.

  ‘I’ve known this place all my life,’ whispered Hilary. ‘I have every right to be here.’

  ‘Hilary, just go.’

  ‘All right. But you … you stay away from my daughter. And you stay away from Heath. I know what you’re up to, even if Deborah doesn’t.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. The only person I’ll be staying away from is you,’ Nina sobbed, as the enormity of what had just happened began washing over her.

  Hilary smoothed her hair and walked slowly towards the car. She turned on the ignition and leaned out the window one more time.

  ‘I promise you one thing. You will regret this,’ she said. Her foot hit the accelerator and she disappeared in a cloud of dust.

  Nina sat down on the fountain edge, her heart thumping, her eyes stinging. The magnolia swayed and murmured in the evening breeze. The scuff marks in the dust at her feet and crushed dry grass were the only witnesses to a scene that became increasingly incomprehensible the more Nina tried to make sense of it. Whatever the reason – money, property, Jim – that woman really hated her and for the first time, Nina felt scared.

  Hilary swore as a light spray of gravel hit the windscreen on the road to Paramour. It was almost dark and she knew there would be roos about. She really should slow down. That blasted girl made her so angry. Hopefully she would be able to fix her hair and her clothes and get back on the road to town without anyone seeing her. She knew she looked a fright. But she had given as good as she’d got. And at least she’d made her point. Nina would not be under any more illusions as to what was going to happen to Durham House, or that Jim had ever had any real feelings for that old bag, Julia.