Book 1: 3rd World Products, Inc.

by Ed Howdershelt

  Ellen walked across the corridor and pushed a button by a doorway. Linda's voice told us to come in as the door slid back. We entered a room that had been furnished like an office waiting room with a desk, a couch, a table, and some chairs. Soft but adequate lighting emanated from strips around the ceiling.

  Ellen strode over to the desk and placed the gun and holster in the center of it, then stepped back a couple of paces.

  A door slid open behind the desk and I heard the hum of an electric motor as Linda entered the room in her wheelchair. As she rolled up to the desk I saw that the room beyond was outfitted like an apartment. She apparently didn't have to commute far to get to work.

  I said, “So you aren't just a special effect from a fancy watch. Hi, Linda. Want your prezzie now or later?"

  "Now would be good. Hi, Ed.” Linda picked up a remote and pressed a button. “Coffee's on. Help yourselves."

  A wall panel near her desk slid back. Inside the compartment was one of those coffee-makers you can buy for twenty bucks at department stores. Near it were cups and condiments.

  "Showoff,” I said. “My remote only operates a VCR. I'll get your prezzie out."

  Linda picked up my gun and looked it over before she set it off to one side.

  "I thought you preferred a long-barreled .22, Ed. When did you upgrade?"

  "I still prefer my .22, but this fits inside my belt better. I did some web pages for a gun shop and this was part of the trade, so it has less sentimental value if I have to lose it someday."

  I took her package out of my backpack and handed it to her. Her hand lingered on mine for a moment as she took the box and she looked up at me with a smile, but her eyes seemed to be examining mine.

  "Thank you,” she said. “Nobody's given me anything without a lot of strings attached for a long time."

  "Oh, I dunno. You're still working, you're on this ship, and they say they may be able to patch you up. That sounds like a bunch of gifts to me."

  She gave me a wry smile. “I was working anyway, but you have a point. They could have picked someone else for this job."

  I flicked open my knife and handed it to her butt-first. Linda hefted it in her hand, probably remembering the last time she'd seen and touched it, then used it to slit the wrapping. She used both hands to close the knife, looked it over for a moment, then handed it back to me.

  Ellen was watching us as Gary poured our coffees. I saw her eyes narrow slightly as Linda fondled my knife before handing it back. Was it because she objected to my bringing the knife aboard or because Linda seemed to derive something special out of handling it?

  Linda lifted the angel basket out of the box and seemed most happy with it.

  She said, “I didn't know you made things like this, Ed. I knew you had some kind of business, but...” Her words trailed off.

  "Yup. Actually, I design things and find customers for them and my partner Sharon makes the stuff. Want to meet Bear?"

  "Sure. I was wondering what was so special about him, anyway."

  I put the carrier on her desk and opened the door. Bear looked out cautiously and then walked out onto the desk. He looked at me and said, “Yahh?"

  I reached to pat him and said, “Things are fine, Bear. This is Linda."

  Linda said, “Hello, Bear. Are you a friendly kitty?"

  Bear looked at her and said, “Yahh."

  I saw it in her eyes. His answer tickled her. She reached to let him sniff her hand. He did so, probably wondering why she'd offered. Bear wasn't much for preliminaries. He saw that she was interested and had a lap, and that was good enough for him. He's never liked flat surfaces that reminded him of the vet's office. Bear stepped carefully into Linda's lap and made himself comfortable.

  While Linda was watching Bear settle in I closed the carrier and put it on the floor, then took the coffee that Gary was offering. He put one on the desk near Linda and sipped his own.

  "He seems to like her,” said Gary.

  "Seems so,” I said. “You think I'll get my cat back when I leave?"

  "You will,” said Linda. She was stroking Bear as she spoke. “I have too much going on and about to go on to have to look after a pet."

  "They all say that,” I said. “Next thing you know she'll have three of them."

  Linda protested the idea and Gary laughed, but Ellen was still quietly standing by the coffee compartment. She approached the desk and stopped near the gun.

  She said, “I'd still like to know why it was permissible for him to bring this."

  Linda looked at her for a moment and asked, “Do you want a trusting idiot looking after you down there? Someone who won't be prepared if there's a problem? Who won't recognize the possibilities of danger before the danger lands on you? Someone who would have bought this whole setup without question and gone for a ride in the dark with a pair of strangers based on a few phone calls?"

  Ellen's expression wasn't quite sullen, but it was close. She said nothing.

  Linda's tone was even, but firm. “Do you really understand what kind of people will—definitely - be coming out of the woodwork down there when this news gets out? I mean, do you really understand what we expect to contend with?"

  Ellen said, “I've had the courses about mass hysteria, Linda. I've seen the films and vids and I've had some self-defense training. You know that."

  "Oh, I don't doubt that for a moment, Ellen. Not at all. I do doubt that everything really sank in, though. You've never personally met these kinds of people. You've never encountered a seriously unreasonable or insane person in your life, have you? We're going to have loonies of all kinds coming at us. That's a guarantee. Some of them will be adoring fans and others will be trying to kill anyone they presume to be alien or involved with this project. Either kind can be dangerous as hell, and Ed is here because he's had experience with both kinds."

  "Well, damn,” I said. “Put me in the 'adoring fan' category, I guess. I thought she was just taking me home to meet her folks. I figured she was gonna try to marry me to get a green card."

  I looked leeringly at Ellen and added, “And you just know I was gonna go right along with her program, you betcha. I was wondering how much I could get away with and still go to heaven, then I realized she probably was my heaven."

  Gary chuckled and Linda gave me a look of sufferance that morphed into a grin. Ellen's eyes narrowed sharply at me in a 'sit down and shut up' look and I shrugged and smiled back at her. She turned away from me to face Linda, but she couldn't conceal the slight blush creeping up her neck.

  Linda sipped her coffee, then said, “Anyway, Ellen, you've got him for the time being. If you find you absolutely can't stand him, say something and we'll swap you with someone else. If not, let him carry any damn thing he wants. He usually has at least a vague idea of what is appropriate for a situation."

  She turned to me and said, “Unless you're still unconvinced about all this, you'll be in training as of tomorrow morning. Your company retirement will be suspended for the duration and you'll be at full pay and benefits at your pre-retirement grade. Your job will be to make sure nothing happens to any of these people in your care and all other duties as assigned. If you're in, sign these."

  Linda reached into her desk and placed a manila folder on the desk. I picked up the folder and half-sat against Linda's desk as I riffled through the forms as if having to make some kind of decision, then looked up at Ellen.

  "How about it, young goddess? Do I sign up or take my cat and go home?"

  She looked at me sharply. “What? Don't try to make me think this is up to me, Ed. What is this? More flattery to make me feel better about things?"

  I looked at Linda. “You haven't quoted me six-oh-one, so I'm not being drafted, right? You don't need me badly enough to force me out of retirement?"

  Linda nodded and said, “No, Ed. We'd prefer to have willing participants."

  "Then this is a judgment call, ma'am. Hers."

  I handed the folder to Ellen and let go
of it before she could refuse it, then went to get a refill. Gary was trying not to look too astonished as I passed him.

  When I turned to return to the desk, Ellen gave me a sharp look and placed the folder in front of Linda.

  "I'm not going to make your decision for you, Ed."

  I looked at the folder for a moment and said, “Okay. Linda, do you want to visit a bit before they take me back to the house?"

  "I'd like that, Ed. I guess this meeting is over, people. Be ready to take him home in an hour or so."

  Gary almost stuttered in agitation. “But ... After all that's happened today...?"

  Linda gave him a very direct look and said, “I can't legally force him to cooperate, Gary. We'll have to get one of the backup people for her."

  Gary's anger surfaced. “They're backups for good reason,” he said. “Health, ability, experience. For some reason they weren't considered the best choices. I don't know exactly why Ed was at the top of your list, but I do know that I don't want my sister on her first offworld assignment with a ... a backup!"

  He picked up the folder, thrust it at Ellen, and said something to her rather sharply in their language. Linda and I just glanced at each other in surprise.

  That was the first I'd heard of their real relationship. I didn't bother to conceal my surprise at the revelation.

  Gary began to say something else, but Ellen raised her hands and said, “Okay! Okay! Calm down, Gary!"

  She took the folder from him and put her hand on his for a moment, then stepped over to me and held it out to me. I didn't immediately take it.

  "You've put me in an awkward position,” she said. “And I really don't like it."

  "Gee, that's tough, lady. You have my sympathies."

  "This is just another control issue with you, isn't it?"

  "Damn right it is. You control whether I stay or not."

  Ellen turned to Linda and Gary and glared briefly at each before speaking.

  "Can't you see he's using you both to force me to concede to him?"

  Gary just stood glaring at us.

  Linda pursed her lips and nodded as she said, “It certainly could be interpreted that way, I suppose, but to concede what to him, exactly?"

  Ellen sighed in exasperation. “It's just like everything we went through with everybody else today, Linda! He has to get things his way! He just has to win! It doesn't matter what. He just has to win!"

  Linda looked at Ellen for a moment and laughed softly.

  "And how does that disqualify him? Clark and I put him through a bit of hell today to see how he'd handle it. He handed it back to us on a platter. Why do you think he's leaving the decision to you, Ellen? Why would he put his immediate future in your hands? All he has to do is sign up and we could assign him someone else to cover, but he's leaving it all up to you. Why?"

  Ellen looked at Linda, then at Gary, then back at me. She was more than a little angry. Her teeth were clenched and she enunciated every word separately as she said, “I ... don't ... know."

  Linda said softly, “Then go with what you do know, Ellen. He's what we need on these jobs. He wants to work with you, and he seems to be quite ready to walk away if you refuse. Why not go with it and figure it out later?"

  Ellen shook her head and said, “I just don't believe this is happening."

  She put my folder on the desk and asked Linda, “And if we don't get along? If we don't work well together? What then?"

  "That's up to you and him. We'll find someone else to cover you and Ed can stay in the program or not, as he wishes."

  Ellen looked directly at me and said, “Okay, then. We'll try it."

  When I didn't move to pick up the folder, she said, “I said we'll try it."

  I said, “I don't want to sign a ream of this stuff and go through all the hoops and barrels and then have you bail out in a week or two."

  "I won't ask to be removed without good reason."

  I reached for the folder and said, “Then I'll try not to give you a reason."

  Chapter Eight

  Gary and Ellen left to take care of a few things. Linda told me to pull up a chair as the door closed behind them. She pressed a button on the side of her watch, took it off, and dropped it in a desk drawer as I began reading and signing.

  "Just you and me, Ed. 'Six-oh-one'?"

  Her grin was infectious.

  "The 'devious-genius' lobe of my brain barfed it up, so I used it. Glad she didn't ask to read it for herself."

  "She may yet try to look it up or ask about it."

  "If she does, she does, but since you refused to invoke it and it can't be used on her, she probably won't. Are you going to babysit my Bear while I train?"

  "Well, that's why you brought him, isn't it? So someone would be available to keep an eye on him? Is this all he does?"

  "Ask him."

  She looked down at Bear and asked, “Is this all you do, Bear?"

  Bear looked up at her and said, “Yahh."

  Linda laughed and said, “He's a born supervisor, isn't he?"

  "He's always thought so. How did you come to be ramrodding a bunch of aliens, Linda?"

  Linda looked up from Bear and smiled. “I had to have something to do while my new parts were being grown. They took a bit of my spine and cultured it somehow. In a few months, once everybody's in place, I'll take some time off so they can install six inches of brand-new spine."

  "Cool. Not much chance of tissue rejection with that."

  "No, not much. After the accident I thought I'd never be out of this chair again. The agency let me come back to work, but they'd replaced me—out of necessity—and they created a position that amounted to my being an assistant to my replacement. Actually it wasn't a bad deal, and most of the time I was doing about what I'd done before, but it just wasn't quite the same."

  She gestured at the ship around her. “And then these guys—the Amarans—showed up about four years ago. One of their shuttle craft matched orbit with one of our shuttle missions and startled the hell out of the crew."

  She grinned and asked, “Can you imagine...? 'Houston, we have guests and they aren't from around here.' I'll bet that shuttle crew was bugeyed."

  "No doubt about it."

  Linda nodded and continued, “Once everybody had calmed down a bit they got down to business. National leaders were quietly introduced to the Amarans. English was chosen as the working language for this venture and it's taken this long just to get all the nations on the ‘A’ list to agree to work together and contribute people. I was asked if I wanted to meet some new people and travel a bit. When I found out what the deal was, I jumped—so to speak—at the offer."

  "I'll just bet you did, ma'am. Are Gary and Ellen really Amarans or are they part of someone's contribution?"

  "They're Amaran. You want to know why they look like us, don't you?"

  "You got it."

  "Then go get me a fresh coffee. I can't get up at the moment."

  With a small smile she pointed to Bear, comfortably snoozing in her lap. I gave her a wry grin and went for her coffee as she continued.

  "The Amarans say they've encountered humans just about everywhere they've been. Most of them think it's the result of some kind of seeding, but nobody knows why the seeding was done or when. There's another theory that favors a collapsed empire. In short, they don't know why we're everywhere, either."

  "Are you gonna tell me all about my new job?"

  Linda nodded and asked, “Remember Yuri Krepkin?"

  "Yeah. A Russian intelligence official who defected in 1985, wrote books condemning Communism, and wound up on the KGB hit list. We issued him a new identity and a guardswoman and he later married her. When Russia broke up the hit was rescinded."

  "It's the same situation. Keep trouble away from her when you can't keep her away from trouble. Help her do her job."

  I smiled and asked, “Who's trying to kill her and what's her job?"

  Linda smiled back and said, “Nobody's trying
to kill her yet, but we expect to see some trouble when all this goes public. She's a chief engineer, I guess you'd say. She'll be helping to choose and train people once we get things moving. We don't know how long it will take to round up a competent Earth staff."

  That surprised me. “You don't already have a long list of candidates?"

  Linda nodded again. “Sure we do, but mostly based on technical merit alone, at this point. We'll try to weed out problem people before they're invited, of course, but nothing is one hundred percent. You're her firewall."

  "May I ask why she isn't being housed on this ship for the time being? It would be safer, and it isn't as if there isn't enough room up here."

  Linda sipped her coffee, then said, “This ship is going to be dismantled over the next couple of years. We're in the process of building the Amarans their own town, near where the Earthside factory and training center will be built, but in the meantime, the program that placed Ellen with you will allow them to get to know us a little better—in relative safety—before having to try to work with us."

  I gave that a little thought, then said, “That sounds as if it was their idea, not ours. I'll bet the program met a good bit of resistance, too."

  "It did. But the Amarans insisted. They made it part of the deal."

  "Any idea why it means so much to them?"

  Linda shook her head. “The words 'intercultural exchange' have been used a lot, but to me, it would seem to be about the same as if you or I decided to go live like natives in some African village. I damn sure haven't figured it out."

  "An alien Peace Corps,” I said. “Idealistic students sallying forth to help others help themselves, and all that. We've done it; maybe this is their equivalent."

  "That was my first guess, too, but it's just a guess."

  We visited for another hour or so before Linda put her watch back on and called Gary and Ellen to see who was free to return to show me to my room. Ellen said she wouldn't reach a stopping point for another half hour or so, but Gary said he could be there in a few minutes.