Fully Automatic (Bullet)

by Jamison, Jade C.

  He wrapped his arm over her shoulder and led her inside the room. “We’re getting ready to play some quarters. I know you don’t drink, but will you hang with me?”

  “Yeah.”

  They set up the game. They all sat on the floor between the two beds in a tight circle. Brad almost put his arm around Val’s shoulder again, but he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. They started playing quarters—well, at least three couples did. Nick’s date wound up resting her head on his chest and dozing off. Brad wanted to try to keep Val’s mind off Ethan, so he tried to keep her engaged in conversation. He started by asking her about her classes, but she didn’t have much to say about them, and he saw her eyes continuing to drift over to his friend. She never made eye contact with him, but Brad could tell her attention was there. He moved the conversation to the show then, and she became more engaged then, enough that he felt like he could get away with putting his arm around her again. She didn’t seem to mind. They moved on to talking about the band itself, and while everyone was there playing quarters, it was as though there were three different games going on, simply because couples were only communicating amongst themselves. He knew why Val didn’t want to talk to Ethan, but that didn’t explain why no one else was talking. It was like they were all intent upon getting hammered.

  No, he looked around the room and knew what everyone else had in mind. It was weighing on his mind too, but he didn’t know how Val felt. He looked over and saw the discomfort on her face. If she’d been any other girl, he would have offered her a drink of his rum. Instead, he asked, “Wanna get out of here?”

  She nodded without hesitation, so Brad stood and held his hand out to her. She took it and stood. It was then that he could feel just how much he’d had to drink, and when he looked at the bottle, he knew too. Yeah, Zane had helped, but the bottle only had an inch of liquid left. Holy shit. His head was light and he felt swimmy.

  It didn’t change the gravity of the situation, however. The other couples in the room (save sleeping Nick and his date) were no longer interested in the game, and he didn’t want to make Val uncomfortable…not that he would feel exactly at ease in the midst of that either, but having had plenty to drink (that was now hitting him with full force), he could have managed. Val, though—he wasn’t going to do that to her.

  Once in the hallway, he took a deep breath and got his bearings. He had no idea what time it was, and he felt a little disoriented. That aside, he felt quite happy that he was now alone with Val, even if it really wasn’t a big deal. It made him feel braver, though. He slipped his arm around her waist and asked, “Where are we going?”

  “Let’s go to my room.”

  He couldn’t help but smile. That wasn’t a bad sign. They started walking. “So…that shithead Ethan’s not even writing his own lyrics anymore? That right?”

  Val nodded and glanced at him but she looked shy. “Yeah…a lot of those words were mine.” Then she slid her arm under his and wrapped her arm around him at the waistband too. Inside, he thought, Score! But he knew he had to keep his cool.

  So, back to the subject at hand. “Goddamn, girl. Pretty impressive. That one song—‘Metal Forever.’ You write that?”

  “Yeah…and ‘Coming Down,’ ‘Intended Punishment,’ and ‘Fates Aligned.’ Also, the basis for ‘Scythe’ was one of my poems too.”

  He’d thought Ethan had written “Coming Down,” because the words felt like something Ethan might have come up with. It was similar to some of his previous work. All that knowledge did was impress Brad further. “No shit.” They were quiet for a little while as Brad wrapped his mind around the fact that Val was like a fringe member of Fully Automatic, considering she was writing most of their words. He was only half kidding when he said, “Maybe we need to hire you as our full-time songwriter.”

  She laughed. “I just like writing.”

  “I’m not fuckin’ with you, Val. You’re writing shit the likes of which we’ve never seen.” She leaned her head into him. Oh, fuck. She had no idea what that did to him. He forced air into his lungs as they reached the stairs and started walking. Again, he could feel just how fucked up he was. He had to focus, but he couldn’t help it. When she did that, it made him feel protective of her, and that response made him think of something else. “Zane told me about some fight you got into. Your ex-roommate just tried to beat hell out of you?”

  “Something like that.”

  They reached Val’s room and she unlocked the door and turned on the light. Brad stepped in, closing the door behind him. He couldn’t lose his momentum at this point. He slid his thumb over her forehead. “I’m glad she didn’t leave any scars on that pretty little head of yours.”

  “Yeah. And I wouldn’t want to have to sue her ass.” For some reason, in his drunken state, her words set him off. He started laughing and couldn’t stop. Val led him in the room and then walked back to the door, locking it. “Come on in.” Brad had to sit down. The room was starting to spin, thanks to his gales of laughter, and he moved over to the nearest bed to sit down. “No, not there. The other bed.”

  He stood up, wondering why she wanted him in a specific bed. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t drop the ball now. He walked over to the other bed and sat down. “Oh…you gonna come curl up with me?”

  “I think I need to put you to bed.”

  That hit him hard, and he could feel his blood starting to speed through his veins. Was that an invitation? “I’d like that. Want me to tell you where to start?”

  She started walking over, a smile on her face that he couldn’t quite interpret. “Oh, Brad. You are such a bad, bad boy.”

  “You like bad boys?”

  “I like you.”

  That’s what he needed to hear. It meant he had a chance. “Did you know I turned twenty in March?”

  “Yeah? So now you’re an older bad boy?”

  She walked over to the bed, and he held out his hands. She took them, and that was when he knew tonight was his lucky night. “I think you’re probably the best birthday present I’ve had.” She sat down next to him and he touched her cheek, then kissed her. It was an innocent kiss, no tongue yet, simply testing the waters. But he was beyond fucked up, and he knew there was no way in hell, not the way he was feeling, not right now anyway. He opened his eyes, happy that at least Val hadn’t spurned him. Anything else could wait until he was more in control. “I’m way fuckin’ drunker than I thought. I need to rest my head. The room is spinning.”

  Brad’s world grew black as his head sunk into the pillow.

  * * *

  It didn’t feel like much time had passed when Brad started to stir, hearing raised voices, but what pulled him completely out of his slumber was Ethan’s hands digging into his shoulders while the guy shouted in his face. “Wake up, you motherfucker.” Brad forced his eyes open while his friend wrapped a fist around Brad’s t-shirt, trying to pull him out of the bed. “Did you fuck her?”

  He was having a hell of a time getting his bearings. He was completely disoriented. “What the hell are you talking about? Where am I?” It all came rushing into his head…the night before, sitting on Valerie’s bed, then nothing. He couldn’t remember anything after that—and it was gonna piss him off if something happened and he didn’t remember. But he didn’t think so. Still…he had to be sure. “Valerie…Did I? Did we…?” Fuck. It was driving him crazy. He couldn’t remember anything past the time when he was flirting with Val on the bed, and he was pretty sure he had only been sleeping, but he couldn’t be sure. His shoes were off but his clothes were on, and Val was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, so he thought it was safe to assume nothing had happened between them. He was glad, because he’d be pissed if they had done something and he couldn’t remember it.

  Jesus. Ethan was blitzed out of his mind. The alcohol on the guy’s breath was fresh and heavy. Brad wondered if he’d slept at all. The only reason Brad knew it was early morning was because of the sunlight shining through the curtains on th
e window. But he knew that much—it was morning.

  Val had been tugging on Ethan’s shirt, trying to get him to let go of Brad. As Brad began to awaken, he realized his friend was seriously considering beating the shit out of him. He probably should have been scared—but he wasn’t. Val yelled at Ethan, “What are you doing?”

  Ethan let go of Brad and turned to Val, putting his hands on her shoulders. “You mean…you invited him here? Did he force himself on you?”

  “Force himself on me? Whatever gave you that idea? Brad is a gentleman.”

  Brad was starting to awaken more and he sat up, taking in a deep breath. He was beginning to find the scene hilarious but said nothing as Ethan continued his rant. “Gentleman? Then he seduced you.”

  Val sounded angry. “Get out.”

  “He did. You did.”

  “Get the hell out of here, Ethan. I’ve had it with you.”

  “But Valerie…”

  Val was pushing against Ethan’s chest, and Brad sensed that he might have to help her. He didn’t want to fight his friend, but he knew he’d have to consider getting a little physical with him to get him out of the room. Val persevered, though. “For your information, we did not have sex. But if we had, I can assure you that we both would have been willing.”

  Ethan sounded hurt. “You mean…you would have slept with my best friend?”

  Her words had just sunk in with Brad as well, and he couldn’t ignore the implication. “Really?”

  “And not with me?”

  “You asshole. After the way you’ve treated me, you think I’d want to sleep with you? You never even tried, Ethan Richards. And neither did Brad. But that’s unimportant. Nothing happened. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d really like to get some sleep. Good night, Ethan.”

  This time, when Val pushed against Ethan, he let her guide him out the door to the hallway. She’d no sooner gotten the door closed, though, that he was opening it again. Brad heard his friend ask, “You sure you didn’t sleep with him and just forgot?”

  “Positive.” Val slammed the door and locked it, walking back in the room with an exasperated look on her face. She might have been tired, but she looked gorgeous to Brad, and he could have kicked himself for not taking advantage of the situation the night before. No wonder she’d called him a gentleman. He’d been too far gone to try a goddamned thing.

  He had to know. “What happened exactly?”

  “You don’t remember?”

  “It’s fuzzy.”

  “You fell asleep.”

  “What were we doing?”

  She smiled. “We were just joking around, and you passed out on my bed.”

  He knew, though. He wasn’t positive, but he was sure they’d been in the same bed. That again gave him hope. “But…you slept here…in this bed…with me, right?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. This is my bed. That bed over there belongs to my roommate. I didn’t think it’d be cool if I crashed on her bed, just in case she came back needing it.”

  That sounded right. He seemed to remember her being close to him all night long, but he’d been too wasted to do a damn thing about it. “I lost a golden opportunity. I need to quit drinking so much.”

  “Maybe. Now…I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted, and you need your rest too. Do you mind sleeping for a little longer?”

  He’d love more sleep, no question, and he might have felt hung over, but he was also a realist. “No way in hell will I be able to sleep if you cuddle up next to me like you did last night.”

  The look on her face was priceless. She looked helpless and lost. “Oh…”

  He didn’t want to miss this opportunity. For the first time ever, Val had seemed like she wasn’t worried about Ethan or how she felt about the guy. For once, she seemed to think only about Brad, and he was going to blow it if he came on too strong. Truth be told, he felt like shit anyway. “No. You know what? You said I was a gentleman, so I guess I’ll do my best to keep being a gentleman.”

  “You sure?”

  “Shit, Val…it’s your bed. I’m not kickin’ you out of it just ‘cause I’m a—what’d you call me last night? I might be a bad boy, but I can keep my dogs down.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  He laughed. “No, but I do remember you calling me a bad boy. And you seemed to like that.”

  She smiled and sat on the bed. “So is it okay if I lie here too? I’ll roll over so my back is to you.”

  He couldn’t help but sigh. God, what he wouldn’t love to do with her right next to him. But he’d promised. “Do what you gotta do. I’ll…just roll over too.” He lay on his side, facing her roommate’s empty bed, while Val lay next to him, her back barely touching his, and she faced the wall. Not only was it uncomfortable and he felt like he was hanging on the edge of the bed (besides the fact that he had a killer fucking headache), he hated not holding her, even if nothing happened. They’d managed to sleep next to each other all night long and not do anything, so why not now?

  He rolled over and said, “I can’t get comfortable. I promise…no funny business.” At first, he wasn’t sure if she was awake until she turned her head. “But are you okay if I face this way? Isn’t that what we did last night?”

  She turned her head back to face the wall and said, “Yeah.”

  “Do you mind if we do it again? I don’t think I’ll be able to get to sleep the other way, and I’ve got a headache. I just want to sleep it off.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine.”

  Good. Facing the same way felt more natural, because they didn’t feel like they were at cross purposes. They curved the same way, so they took advantage of the space instead of fighting against it. He rested his right arm between their bodies and closed his eyes. Not a minute later, he felt Val’s hand on his arm, pulling it over her body. He was glad he felt like shit or he would have gotten way too excited before she said, “That’s not an invitation.”

  He smiled but tried to keep it out of his voice. It was nice anyway. “Is it okay to close the gap?”

  “I guess that would be okay.”

  So he moved right up next to her and focused on his headache…because if he didn’t, feeling her soft body up against his, her sweet-smelling hair flooding his nostrils, he was gonna pop a boner—and then she’d kick his ass out for sure.

  No, he was simply going to try to enjoy the moment and pray he could fall back asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  A FEW HOURS later, Brad sensed that Valerie got out of bed, but he fell back to sleep. If it hadn’t been hours later, he would have worried and thought maybe he’d made her too uncomfortable and she had given up, but he knew they’d been out for a while.

  He woke up again later when he heard the door to her room close. She wasn’t being loud, but he’d awakened anyway. He heard her chair slide on the floor as she sat down, and he imagined her sitting there staring at him, and it freaked him out. So he opened his eyes and smiled when he saw her back was to him. She pulled a drawer on her desk open and started putting makeup on. He could only imagine what her face looked like, framed by the white towel wrapping her hair. He couldn’t tell what she was wearing—only that it was pink, not the black Godsmack t-shirt she’d been wearing the night before—but he couldn’t stop watching her, thinking about her. He let out a breath. He didn’t know the last time he’d wanted someone so badly, if he ever had.

  Several minutes later, she pulled the towel off her head and set it on the side of the desk, then started running a comb through her hair. God. This was bad. He could have watched her for hours, just pining away for her, enjoying the way she moved, wanting to touch her, tell her. She started to stand, and that was when he knew the jig was up, so he sat up in bed and said, “Morning.”

  “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” Aw, fuck. She was wearing a pink robe that ended at her knees. It was held closed by a little fabric belt that she’d tied in a bow. God, that would be so easy to undo and find out what
she wasn’t wearing under there after her shower. Focus, Payne. Focus, man. He hoped the look on his face wasn’t as lustful as the thoughts in his head. Back to practical conversation to take his mind off her body. “Did I make it hard for you to sleep?”

  “Nope. I slept fine.”

  He had to get out of there, or she would be in trouble. And he wouldn’t make a good first impression anyway. His mouth was dry—that was thanks to the rum—and he knew he could stand a hot shower. He ran his hands over his face and then looked for his shoes on the side of the bed where he lay. They weren’t there, so he peeked on the other side and found them.

  As he put them on, his brain was at work on a master plan. He too would clean up and then he was going to return and tell Val exactly what he’d been thinking. Well, no, he couldn’t do that, because he would scare her for sure. But he wasn’t ready to give up yet. Just because his body hadn’t cooperated the night before was no reason to throw in the towel. So, once his shoes were on, he stood and said, “If you can just point me in the right direction, I think I can find Ethan’s place. I need to see what the guys are up to—I’m not sure when we’re hitting the road.”

  She led him to the door and pointed down the hall. “Go through that door to the stairs. When you get to the ground floor, go out the door. Then there’s a long hallway. Follow it all the way to the end. There you’ll see a door just like this one. Those are the stairs to Ethan’s dorm. He’s on the second floor.”

  “Yeah…I remembered that much.” He wasn’t ready to go—not yet. “Hey…thanks.”

  “For what?”

  He smiled and shook his head. He was grateful he’d found his balls, but he wasn’t going to give away what was floating around in his head. “For everything.” He started walking down the hall, turning around before she closed the door. “I’ll be back in a while.”