Looking for Adventure

by Valentina Heart

  “Do you ever work in the same jobs more than once?” He seemed to find the subject fascinating, and I loved the idea that he thought of me as interesting. At least I hoped he found me interesting and not fickle.

  “Sure, there are only so many things you can do and not repeat yourself. I think a waiter was my most frequent occupation. There is always a need for a waiter,” I supplied.

  “That sounds reasonable. Which ferry is it?” he asked, looking at the gates of the two that were currently accepting passengers.

  “The right one.” I motioned with my hand and watched as he maneuvered the SUV into the cramped space. We waited until the cars behind us parked too before exiting.

  “What now?”

  “Now we go up to the deck and wait until we leave. It’s a great day for a ride,” I told him as I led the way up the stairs and onto the sunny upper deck. Most of the seats were already occupied, people lying around, their backpacks blocking the way. It was such a common sight for me that I couldn’t help but smile. I was going to the island again, and I couldn’t have imagined a better start to the summer.

  Jonathan just looked around him curiously, observing everything, looking at the sky a lot. He was probably used to offices, no sun or air unless he took a walk between his house and his car.

  I took us to the benches that currently overlooked the town. All the cars back on shore were visible in their frantic rush, their horns honking impatiently; faraway buildings looked both ugly and beautiful, eaten by time, but still the landmarks of the city. Old stone walls that had been there since the very beginning of the town, when the place went by a different name, marking the seafront. The town of Spljet was perfect, and I loved it, but still, there was something magical in seeing it from the sea, watching it get swallowed by the foaming waves behind the ferry.

  “What do we do now?” Jonathan asked as he sat down rigidly on the bench.

  “Haven’t you ever traveled by ferry before?” I asked, not a little surprised by his strange reaction.

  “Sure I have. But it was always business related, and I mostly stayed inside the car, working on some papers in silence. I never actually came outside.” He’d started out almost sounding half-offended, but by the time he got to the end of his speech, he’d started getting thoughtful.

  I couldn’t imagine people living that way, never seeing all that was beautiful in the world and limiting themselves to the bleak side of existence. What else was there to live for? If I knew from the start that my life would be limited to work and nothing else, I wouldn’t choose living at all. For me, work was always a means to an end. You work so that you have a place to live or so that you can afford a trip somewhere. It could never be something that defined your whole being. At least, not for me.

  “First we enjoy the sun, the scenery; then we entertain ourselves. The ride is just under two hours, so you can sleep if you want,” I said, secretly looking forward to seeing his body all relaxed and spread out next to me.

  I was really going to have to stop with these sexual visions of my employer. It’s probably considered sexual harassment in some countries.

  “Okay,” he just answered, his eyes drawn to a Nordic woman with a very pale complexion who had extremely long legs. It wasn’t summer yet, but it was obviously very hot for her, as her clothes consisted of a skimpy top of a bathing suit and a jeans miniskirt. Blonde hair danced restlessly around her face, and I really could see the sexual appeal, but it didn’t make me any less jealous. It filled me with some perverse satisfaction, the sight of her boyfriend wrapping his arm around her waist and leaning in for a tender kiss.

  It made Jonathan avert his eyes, and I felt a sly but satisfied smile flit across my face. But it also answered an important question that had skimmed through my mind since I first saw him; the man was definitely straight. I really needed something strong to drink in that moment.

  Not long after, the ferry finally moved. Its slow, rocking motion caused my eyes to linger somewhere between open and closed, aware of everything around me but not really interested in it at all. Never once, though, did I lose sight of the imposing man next to me. It didn’t matter in the end if my eyes stayed opened or closed; he was before them in real life as well as in my dreams. The only difference being in the activities he performed. Which were incomparably dirtier in my dreams.

  “Nino? Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were sleeping.” He lowered his voice instantly, looking all apologetic.

  “I was more drifting than sleeping; the sun has that effect on me. What do you want?” I straightened in my seat, searching his eyes for something more but attributing that idea to the remnants of my dreams.

  “Nothing really, I just wanted to ask a question,” he said but then stopped.

  “Well, ask.”

  “I was just wondering… Well, it’s kind of a crude question…” He hesitated. I’d never thought to see the man hesitate about anything. Apparently I was wrong. Some subjects were obviously enough to fluster even him.

  “Just ask.” I wasn’t losing my patience, but the ever so noticeable blush on his face was hardening my cock almost at the speed of light. There was just so much I could handle, and jacking off in the ship’s toilet wasn’t on my short list.

  “You think there will be a chance to score something like that on the island?” The question made him embarrassed, making me wonder for the first time if Mr. Morgan was such a shark in his private life as he must have been in the professional one.

  “Yeah, sure. Especially in a month or so, when the tourists start pouring in. There is some kind of appeal in having sex during a vacation with people you probably won’t ever see again.” The same light that shone from his eyes as he asked the question disappeared with my answer. Something was happening in that head of his, but I wasn’t well-enough informed to understand what.

  He faked a smile for me. “Thanks. That will sure make up for some lost time.” But his eyes never fully came back to that excited spark from before, so I knew I couldn’t just leave the conversation there.

  “You aren’t a virgin, are you?” I lowered my voice, exaggerating a dramatic shock.

  He looked at me seriously at first before bursting into laughter. “No, no, I’m not a virgin. I’m thirty years old, and if I was still a virgin, I would have given up on myself a long time ago.” He was still smiling as his gaze fell to his lap, where he twisted his fingers.

  “Why are you asking about the girls like you’re a starving man?” I dared.

  “I’m not a virgin, but I haven’t had sex in quite a while now. It is one of those things I enjoy, so it would be extremely nice to have a repeat experience while I’m free of obligations.” He even managed to nicely package a simple sentence of I wanna get laid.

  Just as I was about to say an inappropriate joke, two small children rushed by us, chasing each other around our seats. Their high-pitched screams carried all around the deck, but it was the joyous laughter that made me warm and cuddly inside. They were so free, so casual. It was something I’d always striven for. Not to stay a child forever, but rather to always accept things so easily and to experience things with that light innocence. There was enough bitterness in the world, people who were mean for whatever reason, ugly inside. My goal was to forgive as much as I could, but also to never let others make me miserable. There is only one life, and I planned on spending it as happy as I could.

  The screams left with the kids as they ran downstairs into the closed section. I heard Jonathan speak once more.

  “You don’t have a girl tucked away somewhere, waiting for you?” The question was casual, but I could see the tension behind his words.

  As for me, it was a loaded question. The last thing I wanted was to maybe lose my job by admitting I was gay, but I would be damned if I was about to lie. I’d never once denied my sexuality since the day I’d come out to my parents and cleared out of their house. I wasn’t about to start now.

  “No, I don’t have anybody.” The compromise w
as okay, I guess, but the fogging still didn’t sit well with me.

  Lost in thought, I didn’t continue the conversation. I looked at his beautiful form from the corner of my eye; was he worth even the lies? But despite me denying my nature now, I knew there would come a time when I would come clean, and knowing myself, that time was just around the corner.

  Jonathan was enjoying the warm sun, his smile slight but there. We still had quite a long ride ahead of us, so I searched through my smaller backpack and dug out my MP3 player. I doubted my taste in music would sit well with him, but it was the only real distraction I had on me. There was something behind his eyes…every time the conversation died or I said something significant for him. I figured the distraction was necessary.

  “You want to listen to some music? The time will pass faster.” I pushed the player in his direction.

  He smiled, even showing some teeth in the gesture, and took the player from the seat. I watched him study it carefully, but it didn’t take him long to figure out how it worked. He put the earpiece in while turning the thing on.

  The first reaction was a fast-motion backward, forcing me to remember I liked music louder than most people.

  “I’m sorry; it’s too loud.” I jumped forward right away and, taking the player from his hand, lowered the volume before he could even take out the earbuds.

  He visibly relaxed, saying an extremely loud “thank-you” my way.

  “No problem,” I whispered, looking at him frown. For the first time, I wondered if he ever listened to music at all. I began to suspect music wasn’t something that was a part of his business functions. He seemed so deprived of all life pleasures, despite the money he might’ve had.

  I tried to remember what the last song I had been listening to was before I’d turned it off, but couldn’t quite manage. Still I was pretty sure it was some kind of folk metal, Turisas or maybe Korpiklaani. Just thinking about it made me want to bang my head, but I shook the motion away.

  I liked it hard sometimes, especially on my last job. I had needed the energy to stick to something so dull and out of character for me, and some lyrics always made me laugh.

  Jonathan didn’t seem to mind. The frown was still there, but he was intent on the music and didn’t show any motion of skipping the song. For some reason, that made me happy.

  I turned my attention to the people around me, not really wanting another erection as I started to think about those gorgeous lips. Two firefighters caught my eye, sitting in full gear just a few seats away. Involved in a casual conversation, their shoulders moved as they gestured, and I imagined all the hard muscles that must have been hiding under their jackets.

  “For Christ’s sake, Nino, stop thinking about screwing anything that walks!” I whispered quietly to myself as I tried looking somewhere else.

  But my gaze kept returning to the two firefighters, or it would swing in Jonathan’s direction, and there was nothing I could do about it other than walk away. I was just about to do that when my mind started questioning the firefighters. I hadn’t read anything about any fires, and it was sunny, but I thought it was still too early for fires on the islands.

  It was a horrific thing to be stuck on an island as a fire blazed in the vicinity. I looked in the direction of our destination, expecting smoke, but saw none. They must be going there as a precaution for the season. Yeah, that must be it.

  The scare somehow chilled my hormones, and even though I still watched both them and Jonathan, my erection was back under control. The time also passed faster, soon bringing the ferry to a stop and sending us down to the SUV.

  Chapter Three

  His music was shocking, to say the least. It really took some time to get used to it, but by the time we arrived at the island, I sort of even liked it. I had no idea that a sound like that even existed. It was fun in a way, discovering so many different things. I wasn’t even aware it could be so much fun.

  We walked to the car. The lower deck was already filled with people getting into their cars, and more people were coming down the stairs. As the ferry docked, the apron ramp started lowering, lightening the crowd that impatiently waited to leave. As we got into the SUV, I watched for the crew member to signal me out of the ferry. We were on our way in no time.

  “It was a fun ride, don’t you think?” Nino asked.

  “Yes, it was magnificent. I had no idea such a simple thing could be so enjoyable.” I smiled to myself, honestly meaning what I’d said.

  “I’m glad you liked it. You look like someone who needed a break in life.” He meant well with that statement, but I couldn’t just shrug away the realization that my break wasn’t a short one or an enjoyable one. It was permanent.

  As in, a break from life.

  It was a different thing to school my expression when dealing with clients or negotiating terms. All of that was business. While this, this was extremely personal and tragically unchangeable. Everything I felt in that one moment showed in my expression, all the hurt and betrayal. I didn’t need to see Nino’s face to know he caught every distasteful change.

  “I’m sorry for whatever I said.” He lowered his eyes to the floor.

  I couldn’t help but try and reassure him. Not a lot of people cared for me in any sense that wasn’t money related, so I wanted to keep the one who did by my side for a while longer. “It’s not your fault.” I sighed. “Let’s just say I have some pressing things on my mind and some casual remarks occasionally bring my thoughts back to it. It’s nothing you can have any effect on, so don’t worry.” I said it coolly, but inside I snorted at the phrasing—“pressing things on my mind.” They sure were pressing, as my headaches could vouch for!

  “Okay, you’re the boss,” he said, not too happy with my statement, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I had enough problems of my own, and as much as I respected emotions, I just couldn’t watch for every single one of his feelings that I managed to hurt.

  “Make a left now, and it’s all straight from here. It will take us about an hour to get there,” he said without a smile or any other casual signs that I had started to relate to him.

  “So you think we will have fun?” I asked, trying to get on his good side again.

  “Sure. We’re on a Mediterranean island with the summer knocking. It will be brilliant.” And the smile was back.

  “Should we talk about the rules?” I asked, not really sure how to even form that question.

  “Rules?” He looked at me with his head curiously bowed.

  “I mean if you bring someone… Or if I bring someone for…for sexual intercourse.” I faced the road as I gripped the wheel, my cheeks burning from embarrassment. I had no idea why the subject of sex always seemed to leave me all flustered and awkward.

  He laughed wickedly, only increasing my discomfort. “Well, we have two bedrooms; it shouldn’t be a problem. Unless you are extra loud?”

  I was too wrapped up in my blushing to look at him. “Of course not!”

  “That’s not a bad thing, you know. I like them loud,” he said matter-of-factly, forcing me to take my gaze off the road and stare at him.

  “What? I do.” He shrugged.

  “Maybe we should have some kind of a sign? Like a tie on the doorknob of our rooms?” I tried tentatively. I honestly didn’t want to see too much of what I wasn’t getting. By the time the season came to its peak, I’d probably be too sick to wipe my own ass. I just knew my face got that grim glow again.

  “That would be great, if I owned a tie.” He laughed again, the sound bouncing off the interior of the car.

  “It doesn’t have to be a tie. Put a damn sock on the knob then!” I snapped, not really sure why.

  “Easy there; a sock I can do.” He was still laughing, but his hands were in front of him like he was holding me off.

  “I’m sorry. I’m not used to feeling embarrassed,” I said, sitting straighter in my seat.

  “I’m just pulling your chain. It’s fine if you snap, especially when I a
sk for it.”

  “It’s lovely here,” I stated, focusing more on our surroundings and less on the undercurrents in the car.

  There had been a short climb among the trees when we first left the harbor, but now everything was flat, with a lot of olive fields surrounded by stone walls. Everything was minimalistic. Planting areas took up much of the land, but it looked pretty amazing, given the whole picture.

  I could see pine trees in the distance, which got closer with every mile we crossed. There were some old signs of fires that had raged through them, but it was still an amazing sight. The few houses we’d seen had been spread out. They looked old but were still in pretty good shape.

  “It feels kind of like you’re on another planet, doesn’t it?” Nino asked, his foot propped on his knee now. I kept expecting him to put both of his feet on the dash. It seemed like such a Nino thing to do. Besides, we were on holiday; tourists usually did stuff like that, or complained about the heat. I smiled despite myself.

  “I actually am on another planet. All of this is new to me,” I shared.

  “So is there anything new you want to try while you’re this adventurous and wild self?” he teased again.

  “I really don’t know. Would it be all right if I depended on you for the first few days?” It was out of my character to ask for help like that, but I had only two more months; I would crawl if I had to. Come to think of it, that would also be a new experience. To be so dependent on another person.

  “Sure! I usually stay on the other side of the island from where we’re going. You will probably be the only person I know, so no worries.” His cheerful personality came to the front once more.

  “Should I turn on the radio?” he asked.