A Texas Family

by Linda Warren

  All the hurt in Hilary’s voice blindsided her. She’d heard that tone so many times when they were kids. “Why are they so mean to us?” “Why don’t they like us?” “Why do they talk about us?”

  “I would never do anything to embarrass you. But I hope you have enough strength to stand up for yourself. Show them you’re a person who has value and not someone they can order about. Show them you have a backbone and they will respect you.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s easy for you, Jena. You left and live in the big city with a happy new life, but I’m stuck here, and I’m doing the best I can. I’ve made friends, and everyone likes me.”

  Hilary’s tone grew sadder and Jena knew she should stop, but life wasn’t about everything being easy. “Hil, everybody doesn’t have to like you and in the real world they don’t. It’s okay to stand up for yourself. It’s okay to have opinions. Please don’t let them take advantage of you. I know it’s your life but I worry. You deserve better.”

  “Like you said, it’s my life and I have to live here when you’re gone.”

  That was true. But Jena couldn’t let it go. “Maybe on Sunday we can do something together with Mama.”

  “I have to work on Sunday.”

  “When is your day off?”

  Hilary shifted from one boot to the other. “Um...I don’t have a day off.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Hilary turned on her heel and walked out. “I’ve got to go,” she called over her shoulder.

  “This isn’t over!” Jena shouted after her.

  “Yes, it is.” The door slammed.

  Jena heaved a hot breath and eased into a chair. She had to let Hilary make her own decisions even if they were bad. Hil was right. Jena would go back to Dallas, and Hil had to live with the people of Willow Creek. But it irked her that Mabel was taking advantage of her sister. It irked her more that Hilary was allowing it.

  Pulling herself out of her funky mood, she finished putting supper together. Norma was completely out of it, talking to Jena as if she was twelve years old. By eight o’clock her mother was ready for bed. She gave her mother her nighttime medications and sat with her for a while.

  When Norma fell asleep, Jena went outside and sat on the porch, her legs dangling over the side. The fresh scent of paint lingered in the air, and she could hear the roar of traffic on the highway across the tracks. The rumble of a train echoed in the distance. Familiar sounds.

  So many times as a teenager she’d sat in this same spot and listened to the traffic, hoping headlights would turn down their street and into their driveway. In her mind, it would be friends from school inviting her to hang out at their house. But no one ever came, except sweet Jared. And for that alone she loved him. Of course, neither of them was sure about the emotion because love was absent in their family lives. Jared was kind, compassionate and the only true friend she’d ever had. After the murder, she’d missed him so much. She swallowed hard, wiping the memory away. It still was painful.

  Almost on cue, car lights turned onto their street. It had to be Hilary, but the car that rolled into the driveway wasn’t Hil’s. Carson. She knew he’d probably come only to apologize for what had happened in his office. What did she say to him?

  * * *

  CARSON TOOK A moment and then got out. As he walked toward her he rehearsed what he was going to say. I’m sorry seemed cliché and he really wasn’t sorry. He should be, but he could still taste her lips, feel the smoothness of her skin. If kissing was a sport, he’d sure like to try for first place with her. The thoughts were so wrong, but he couldn’t get them out of his head.

  He stopped in front of her. She didn’t say a word and he didn’t expect her to. That wall she’d built around herself was so strong tonight, he felt he could reach out and touch it. Because of what he’d done. Damn! The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

  “May I sit down?”

  “What are you doing here?” Her voice was low with an edge of steel in it.

  “I’d like to talk.”

  “There’s no need...”

  “I disagree.” He sat on the porch beside her, and she scooted a couple of inches away. “For heaven’s sakes, I’m not going to attack you.”

  “I didn’t think you were. I’d just rather not get too close.”

  “Are you afraid of me or you?”

  She scooted until her back was against a post. Drawing up her knees, she asked, “Why did you kiss me? We’re not even friends.”

  He shrugged, not missing the fact that she didn’t answer the question. “You were sitting on my desk, relaxed, and it just seemed ironic that we’re caught in this web of family lies, deception and manipulation. When you smiled, I thought how nice it would be if we were just two people without all the baggage of the past. I’m attracted to you and I thought I’d see if one kiss could change the situation.”

  “Nothing can change our situation,” she said. “Even when we find my child nothing will change between us. We will still be enemies.”

  “Because of my father?”

  “Yes.”

  “I crossed a line and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not sorry for kissing you. I rather enjoyed it and I think you did, too. So I’ll ask you again—who are you afraid of? You or me?”

  It was a long time before she answered, and the words were so low he barely caught them. “I’m always afraid.”

  He turned so he could face her in the darkness. The porch light wasn’t on, but the moonlight was ample enough. “Why?”

  “Do you have to ask that question?”

  “Maybe not, but tell me about it.”

  Again, it was a long time before she replied, “When Hilary and I were growing up, the kids were mean to us. They called us names because we wore hand-me-down clothes and lived off welfare, not to mention our home was across the tracks where poor white trash lived. So we stuck together and grew a thick skin to protect ourselves. But life was hard and at times we were afraid just to walk out the door.”

  “I’m sorry for what you had to go through” was all he could say. He could only imagine how traumatic it had been for a young girl.

  They sat in silence for a while. “May I ask you a question?”

  “What?” she asked.

  “What happened after you left Willow Creek?”

  She sighed. “Haven’t we covered that?”

  “A little bit, but I’m curious.”

  “I lived with my mom’s cousin. She was a licensed vocational nurse, and when I didn’t stop bleeding from the birth, she took me to see her doctor. She told him I’d just lost a baby and was staying with her to recuperate. I was hospitalized for three days, but he was able to stop the bleeding.”

  “It didn’t last?”

  “No, until...well, you know the rest.”

  To get her mind on something else, he asked, “When did you go to work for the lawyer?”

  “About five years ago. First, I got a job at Walmart, saved my money and took computer and secretarial courses at a junior college. Eventually, I got a job as a receptionist in the law firm, and I was noticed because I was willing to work long hours.”

  “Did you always live with your cousin?”

  “Until she had a heart attack three years ago. She lingered for a week, and I sat with her day and night. She was very good to me. I still miss her. Her son got the house, and I moved into an apartment. I was on my own for the first time in my life.”

  “Did you like it?”

  “Not at first. I was alone and scared, but I made friends and had almost a normal life.”

  “In all those years did you ever think of coming back to Willow Creek?”

  “I lost track of the number of times I got in my car to do just that, but I never made it out of Dallas. Asa had said if I returned, he
’d kill my mother and my sister. After what he did to me, I couldn’t take that risk.”

  Carson moved uneasily. She was talking about his father, and it was hard for Carson to believe all the bad things Asa had done. Even though he knew they were true.

  “So you see, Carson Corbett, you and I should not be kissing or doing anything together. That’s just the way it has to be.”

  “Yeah. I just lost my head for a moment.”

  “That’s not good for a lawman.”

  She was teasing and he wished he could see her dark eyes. But then, it was best if he didn’t. He was tempted once and he could easily be tempted again. No matter how much they talked about being wrong for each other, it didn’t change the fact that he liked her a lot.

  “I better go.” He got to his feet. “There’s a strong smell of paint and I noticed the house has a new color.”

  “Hilary’s friends painted it today.” She swung her legs off the edge of the porch again.

  “It looks nice.”

  “Mmm.”

  He should walk away and leave on a good note, but he had to know. “So where do we go from here?”

  “Back to searching for my child,” she replied without hesitation.

  “My time will be limited now that the kids are out of school, but over the weekend I’ll get into Jared’s room.”

  “Talking to your father again wouldn’t hurt, either.”

  “For what it’s worth, I will try.”

  “Good. Now we’re back to dealing with the past...the way we set out to do.”

  “Yeah. I’ll be in touch.” He strolled toward his car.

  “Carson.”

  He turned back.

  “Thank you for apologizing. I appreciate that.”

  “Then you don’t think I’m as reprehensible as my father?”

  “No,” she answered. “I’m not upset with you. I’m more upset with myself.”

  “Why?”

  “For responding.”

  He stared at her through the darkness, hardly believing she was admitting that.

  “But we both know that’s a dead end and we won’t allow it to happen again.”

  “Yeah. Night.” He continued on to his car. There was nothing left to say, but there was a whole lot he wanted to say. Passion between two people was like lighting a stick of dynamite. Once the fuse was lit there was no turning back until the explosion of senses satisfied both of them. She didn’t need to know that. Or maybe she already did. But he and Jena were set on a course that would either destroy them or bring them together. For a Brooks and a Corbett the latter wasn’t even an option.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  JENA WAITED UP for Hilary and it wasn’t by choice. She couldn’t get Carson out of her head. Just the sound of his voice in the dark made her feel safe and she had no idea why. Like Jared, he was kind and trustworthy and maybe she responded to that.

  If she was comparing them—and she wasn’t—the resemblance ended there. With Jared, it had been two teenagers who’d needed each other. Carson was a mature man who made her very aware she was a woman with needs. And that wasn’t good. It could only lead to heartache and pain. She’d had her share of both.

  She realized in the next few days she’d have to make a decision—call Blake or continue with the unproductive partnership she had with Carson. She couldn’t let her emotions sway her.

  The last time she looked at the clock it was 11:00 p.m. and Hil still wasn’t home. That bothered Jena. If Jena wasn’t here, their mother would be left alone in the house at night. In her mother’s mental state, that was unacceptable. A serious talk was coming, and Hil wasn’t going to like what she had to say.

  When she awoke, Hilary was sprawled across her half of the bed, sound asleep. Jena got up quietly and went to check on their mother. She was also asleep. Jena made coffee and was sipping a cup when her mother came in.

  “Morning, Mama.”

  “Morning, sweetheart. I could use a cup of coffee.”

  Jena jumped up. “Coming right up.” Her mother’s eyes were bright and clear this morning, and it was wonderful to see that.

  “Has Hilary gone to work?”

  “No, Mama, she’s still sleeping.” Jena placed a cup of coffee in front of her mother.

  “She doesn’t usually sleep this late.”

  “She worked late last night.” Jena opened the refrigerator to see what they had to eat, and there wasn’t much. “Would you like some toast with your coffee?”

  “Yes, that would be nice.”

  Jena was spreading jam on the toast when Hilary strolled in. “I overslept. I have to run.”

  “Just a minute,” Jena said before Hilary could get out the door. She followed her into the living room. “What time did you get home last night?”

  Hilary sighed. “Please don’t start. We were packed last night.”

  “I’m just worried about Mama being here all alone.”

  “I knew you were here or I would have checked on her.”

  “Hil, there’s no food here, either.”

  “I’ll bring something.”

  “I’ll go to the grocery store.”

  “There’s no need. Why are you making this hard?”

  Jena folded her arms across her chest. “Have you ever heard of burning the candle at both ends?”

  “Of course.”

  “That’s what you’re doing, and you can’t keep it up. You can’t please everybody just because you want them to like you.”

  “Aren’t you here to find your child?” Hil fired back.

  “Yes.”

  “Then why don’t you do that and stay out of my life.” Hil slammed out the door.

  Jena ran her hands through her hair, trying not to let that oppressive feeling come over her. Her number one supporter was deserting her and that left a raw ache inside. But she was not going to back down from her stance that Hilary should stand up for herself, no matter how upset it made her sister.

  * * *

  JENA GOT DRESSED to go shopping for groceries and asked her mom if she’d like to come along. To her surprise she said yes, so they drove to Dripping Springs to the H-E-B grocery store. Norma got out with her and that surprised Jena, too. She seemed to enjoy picking out things she wanted to eat, especially fruit. The cart was full when they checked out.

  On the way home, they passed a small nursery, and Jena turned around and went back. She needed flowers for the flower beds to add the finishing touch to the house. Her mother again got out and helped her to pick out yellow pansies and white petunias. She added potting soil, fertilizer and mulch. Her trunk and backseat were full.

  After a light lunch, she went to work. She had texted Hil as a peace offering to tell her there was no need to rush home. Jena would be home all day. She kept her phone close just in case Carson called, but he didn’t.

  By the time she finished preparing the ground with a hoe she was exhausted, but she planted the flowers and the white crape myrtles she’d bought for the corners of the house. Her mother sat on the porch watching her, and life seemed as normal as it could be. But by late afternoon Norma’s sunny disposition faded and the darkness of her mind took over.

  As Jena prepared supper Norma wrung her hands and paced. “If you hear your father’s truck, go hide. I’ll call you when it’s time to come out.”

  “Okay, Mama. Why don’t you sit down and have a glass of tea.”

  “I’m not thirsty.” She hurried into the living room to watch out the window. Jena’s nerves were frayed when her mother finally went to bed.

  After a bath, Jena sat on the porch and relaxed. The paint scent mingled with the sweet-smelling crape myrtles. Everything was fresh and new—almost like a new beginning. Was there such a thing? How could anythi
ng be new when the same old heartache would always be with her?

  Her phone buzzed and she reached for it, hoping it was Carson. It wasn’t. Her heart sank and she couldn’t believe how disappointed she was.

  Hilary left a text. Going to be late. Busy night.

  She answered. Don’t worry. Everything’s fine.

  She stood and glanced down the road. She could really get used to seeing Carson every night. And that was the most insane thought she’d ever had.

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING was a repeat of the morning before. “Don’t nag, sis. I’ll be home early. Sunday is a short day at the café,” Hil called as she went out the door and before Jena could do much complaining. Her sister must have not seen the flowers or she would have been excited. Their talk was coming soon. Hil couldn’t avoid it forever.

  Her mother sat at the table eating Corn Flakes and a banana. That seemed so ironic to Jena. Corn Flakes were one of the staples they’d received in abundance from the food bank when they were kids. Jena had thought she’d never want to eat the stuff again. Her mother had picked it out yesterday at the store, saying she hadn’t had them in a while. So maybe some things weren’t so bad.

  Her mother was fine after yesterday’s outing, and Jena wanted to keep her moving instead of sitting in her chair all the time. After she washed the dishes, she suggested, “Let’s go for a walk.”

  “Oh, no.” Norma shook her head. “I’m tired from yesterday.”

  Jena dried her hands on a dish towel. “I don’t want to walk alone. Please come with me.”

  “Where are you going to walk?”

  “Down our road to the railroad tracks.”

  Norma pushed back her chair. “I’ll put on my shoes.”

  Jena was elated at her mother’s easy acquiescence. Maybe all she needed was a little motivation, but Jena wasn’t sure that would help the state of her mind. Within minutes they walked out of their driveway and down the road.

  Jena had made this trek many times as a kid. It was her route to school. The road dead-ended at the tracks, and this area was full of houses and mobile homes that were run-down like theirs. As they passed a small white house that was usually neater than the rest, Jena asked, “Does Mrs. Carter still live there?”