Bella

by D. J. Barrett

  “We need to talk.” I quaked.

  “I know what it’s about Bella.” She barked.

  We sat down at the kitchen table, the baby was lying in his crib, he looked nothing like Simon. So I knew she was telling the truth about Simon not being the father.

  The baby had blonde hair and blue eyes.

  I asked Victoria what she thought she knew.

  “I noticed the attraction you and Simon had while we were in the restaurant when James and Lizzie got engaged.” She miffed. I explained that we were just very close, and with mother and father both dead, we were just looking out for each other.

  I could feel my face turning red, as I tried to hide how I really felt. I told her not to say anything to anyone. I could see by the expression on her face she knew more, but she obviously didn’t want to say anything now. I left her house feeling more on edge than ever.

  Three weeks later, I was walking along the beach, with Violet in her buggy watching the sun go down, when Simon decided to join me. I looked at him and melted. That was it, I couldn’t hold back anymore; everything came pouring out, I just couldn’t control my feelings any longer.

  I told him I was longing for his touch and his kisses. Simon looked down at his feet and cleared his throat.

  “Bella I’m in love with you too, but you’re my sister; you know we can’t be together.” He said with a heavy heart.

  “Then why does it feel so right Simon?” I spluttered. I couldn’t take any more. I took violet and told Simon to leave me alone, hot tears stinging my eyes.

  CHAPTER SIX

  I went back to the guest house and put Violet to sleep. I then lay on my bed and cried my heart out. I decided to have a hot bath to make me feel better, but all I kept thinking about was Simon making love to me. Whether it was right or wrong. I wanted it so much that it hurt. When I got out of the bath I felt tired and decided to go to bed. Marco was still at the restaurant and Lizzie was sleeping.

  As I drifted off to sleep, I heard my bedroom door open. I felt the bed sheets pull back, and expected to see Marco when I turned over. But it was Simon; my heart was racing and I knew I wanted him, when his lips met mine, our kisses became long and passionate, he kissed my neck slowly moving towards my breasts, tingles were running through my body, his hands exploring every inch of me. We both knew how wrong this was but we didn't care and we surrendered to each other and made love. I had never felt such passion, and pleasure as I felt at that moment.

  After, we lay in each other’s arms forgetting the world outside and anyone else’s feelings. When reality set in I knew we could never do this again and we must forget what we had just done. We both realised that it was better to stay away from each other for a while.

  A few weeks later, I started feeling sick and light-headed. It suddenly dawned on me that I might be pregnant and there was a possibility that my brother was the father. I knew I shouldn't keep this baby, however, there was a slight chance that it could have been Marco’s.We hardly made love anymore, but we had once a few days before I slept with Simon. I felt cheap and dirty not knowing who my baby’s father was. What a mess I had made of things.

  I should have ended my marriage ages ago. I thought. The only reason Marco and I had made love was because I’d asked him for a divorce. He was angry and seemed hurt and I felt sorry for him so we ended up making love.

  The only thing I could do was say nothing and let Marco assume he was the father and try and make our marriage work.

  Months later my pregnancy started showing, Marco wasn’t really trying to make our marriage work and became even more distant. The guest house had closed for winter and I had time on my hands to prepare for my baby.

  I couldn’t get Simon out of my mind and I hadn’t even told him I was pregnant. I missed him so much. I decided to go and visit him and went to his apartment.The lights were on so I knew he was home. I rang the buzzer and certainly hadn’t expected to see Victoria answer the door. She had a smirk on her face when she opened it. Quietly she said.

  “Simon and I have decided to have another go at our relationship.” I could see Simon in the kitchen with the baby. Feeling rather embarrassed, I made my excuses and left. I’d never felt such pain in my heart.

  I gave birth on Christmas Day, to a beautiful baby boy, he looked the image of Simon, he had big blue eyes, and auburn hair. I named him Robert.

  Marco didn’t seem to notice that he shared no resemblance to him, so I was sure I could keep it a secret. I hoped that Marco was the father, but deep in my gut I knew differently. Anyway I could get away with Robert looking like Simon, they were related after all.

  Weeks later being busy with a toddler and a new baby, I didn't have time to breathe, let alone think. The guest house was soon to open for spring and I had some things to get ready first. Robert was a very demanding baby, he wasn’t like his sister and he never stopped crying. Marco had become even more distant. Our marriage was falling apart.

  Lizzie told me she had a new man in her life, she said he was nothing like James. I asked her to invite him for dinner; and thought it would be a good idea to have a big family gathering. I invited Tammy and Roy, Simon and Victoria and I prepared a lovely stew.

  Lizzie was like a teenager again; all excited waiting for Steven to arrive. I must admit when he came he was drop dead gorgeous. When Simon and Victoria arrived, Victoria was really quiet and didn't speak much; you could cut have cut the atmosphere with a knife. Simon held Robert in his arms and I could see how alike they looked. If only he knew that he was holding his son. Victoria’s baby looked just like her, I felt a little envious that Simon was playing happy families with her and he was such a good father to her baby.

  After we had finished eating we sat down and had a few drinks; I tried making conversation with Victoria although it was extremely difficult. Tammy noticed how hostile she was with me and asked her what her problem was. Victoria sneered.

  “If only you knew what secrets there are in this family.” Victoria had drunk too much and Simon tried to calm her down, because things were getting out of hand. I told him it was best he took Victoria home. As she was leaving she looked straight at me and said.

  “I know this family’s secret.” I looked at Victoria calmly and wondered what on earth she was talking about.

  “I know everything, every secret there is to know. Simon is mine.”

  Tammy butted in.

  “What in God’s name are you talking about Victoria?”

  “You had better ask Bella hadn’t you.” She slurred.

  Tammy looked at me.

  “What’s going on Bella?”

  Lizzie was really embarrassed with what was going on, especially because she’d invited Steven over for the first time.

  She looked at me and said.

  “You must know why she is so angry Bella?”

  “It’s nothing! Victoria has had too much to drink, that’s all.”

  Luckily Simon managed to calm his wife down before she said anything else and he took her home.

  The season started and we were really busy. Tammy kept on quizzing me about Victoria and what her problem was with Simon and me,

  “Jealousy.” I explained.

  “But there’s nothing to be jealous about. You’re brother and sister. There must be more to it Bella.”

  I knew I could never tell her my secret. She would be disgusted.

  A few days later I was walking down the high street doing some shopping, and I noticed Marco getting out of a car with his sister; it was strange that I had never met her. Thinking back to the time when I first saw her with Marco. I decided to question him later that evening.

  Lizzie offered to babysit and I left Marco a voice message asking him to meet up with me. I nervously sat waiting for him, but he didn't show up. I tried called him but his phone went straight to answer phone. I went to his restaurant to see if anyone knew where he was. One of the chefs took me to one side.

  “Bella, Marco isn't the man you think h
e is, but it’s not for me to tell you; all I know is that he isn’t as sweet as you may think."

  That got me thinking. I’d never met any of Marco’s family; they didn’t come to the wedding. He’d told me that it was too far for them to come for just a few days. I really needed to know what was going on. I went home, and hoped Marco was there. I wished I had divorced him long ago, but he was the one that wanted to make our marriage work at the time. Then when I agreed he became distant again.

  When I got home, Marco wasn't there, so I called his phone again and again, it was still switched off.

  Marco didn’t come home that night, I couldn't sleep for worry. When I’d asked Marco to meet me at the pub he’d sounded nervous, and asked me what was wrong. I told him I needed to speak to him. I should have questioned him right there and then. All I could do now was wait for him to return.

  I tried to keep busy which wasn’t difficult especially with two children and a guest house to look after. I started to feel worn out. I felt really down; Lizzie tried to keep my chin up as much as she could. I don’t know what I would have done without her there. Steven came over to see her quite often and although he was nice, there was something not quite right about him, he appeared just too perfect. Lizzie didn’t know that much about him. He told her he was an orphan, and had no family. Maybe because I felt uneasy about myself and Marco, I’d become paranoid and was worried that Lizzie might get hurt. I kept my thoughts to myself and never mentioned them to Lizzie.

  Days went by and Marco still hadn’t arrived home; he had never left me for this long without calling. He had gone away quite often and was a very secretive person, but he’d always kept in contact. Marco had never been good at providing for us and sometimes he told me he didn’t have much money. I had never asked him what he did with his money, maybe I should have, especially as it was me who was the one providing for us all.

  I decided to look through Marco’s things for some kind of clue as to where he could have gone. I came across a picture of his sister with a little boy, but on the back it said.

  ‘My love.’

  Now my mind was racing, this woman wasn`t his sister. So who was she?

  Obviously I knew our marriage was over, but I couldn’t ask Marco for a divorce if I didn’t know where he was.

  I called Tammy and asked her to come over. Half an hour later she arrived with Roy. She took one look at me and asked me what was wrong. I opened a bottle of wine, and began telling them everything. My marriage to Marco, the mysterious woman I had seen him with when we first met. That Marco had told me she was his sister, then realising that I had never met any of his family, and how little I knew about him. That the woman in the picture was the same woman I had seen him with.

  “Everything is a mess Tammy. I don’t even know where he is to question him; he didn’t meet me at the pub, and when I call him, his phone keeps going to voice mail.”

  Tammy told me not to worry until I saw him, but that was easier said than done.

  “I just can’t cope anymore.” I said desperately. “With a new baby and a toddler, and the guest house in full swing; I feel drained. I am actually thinking of selling up."

  “No, don’t do that. We will try to help you as much as possible.” Tammy said.

  “Why don’t you have a break?” Roy suggested. “We can manage the guest house and the kids.”

  I didn't really want to leave Robert; he was only six months old but both Tammy and Roy insisted.

  “The children need a mother who isn’t on the verge of a nervous breakdown.”

  I had to admit, I did feel close to breaking point.

  “Well you sort out your holiday, and we will go from there.” Tammy gave me a hug. “I might not be your mother Bella, and I’m not really your stepmother, but I love you like you are my own daughter, and I’m very worried about you.”

  I sobbed in Tammy’s arms. I did feel a little better after my chat and a good cry.

  The next day Simon came over and asked me where Marco was, I said I didn’t know and that he had just vanished.

  “I told you before that I didn't like him. I just don’t trust him Bella.” He said angrily.

  “I thought it was because you were jealous.” I replied.

  “I was a little jealous, but more worried for you.”

  I told Simon that Tammy had offered to look after the guest house and the children while I had a break. He told me he would have the children if that would help.

  “What about Victoria?” I asked.

  “Leave her to me Bella.”

  I booked a holiday to Italy where Marco was from; he had mentioned that was from Tuscany, so that was where I decided to go.

  I didn’t know whether I would get any answers, but I thought it was worth a try. I’d never been to Italy and desperately needed a holiday. I thought that hopefully I would find Marco there.

  I arrived at Pisa airport very late and took a taxi to the hotel. I had booked a room at The Grand Hotel Minerva. My room was lovely and it over looked Florence`s historic centre. I went and had something to eat and felt tired.

  I hoped to start my search for Marco the next day. After a good night’s sleep I felt refreshed. I had a shower, put on my summery dress and stepped on to the balcony. I could feel the heat of the sun on my face. The view was breath-taking.

  After breakfast I decided to hire a car and asked for directions to San Mignon a village where Marco said he was from. Looking through the local directory I looked up the family name, Antionini, there were quite a few there but not many in San Mignon.

  I decided to walk around the town and look in the shops, until my hire car was ready. I went and had a spot of lunch at Lo Stretcher, with fine home-made food and wine even down to the bread.

  When I got back to the hotel my hire car was there. I was given directions to San Mignon. I managed to find the village quite easy; it was a beautiful medieval place. I stopped at a little café, took out my translation book and asked.

  “Scusate, qualcuno mi sa dire se conosce una persona di nome Marco Antionini?” My accent was terrible, but luckily they understood. A very sweet old lady came over to me and sat down at my table.

  “Parli Inglese?”

  I didn’t understand what she was saying, so I nervously flipped through the pages of my book, hoping to find the translation in there. Luckily for me the woman asked again in English.

  “You speak English?”

  “Yes. Unfortunately my Italian is as good as what’s written in this book.” I replied, hoping that her English was good enough to communicate.

  I told her I was married to Marco Antionini and that I thought he may have returned to his Village. She listened and then responded;

  “I know Antionini family very well, this village is very small and everyone knows everyone here.”

  After I had finished my espresso, she gave me the directions to Marco’s parents’ house. I thanked her kindly and left, following the directions accordingly.

  “ Scusate, Signor Antionini ?” I asked.

  “Si. Cosa volete.” He responded in an impolite manner. I quickly looked through my book, to find out what he had said other than yes.

  What do you want? Ok, so I’m getting somewhere. I just need to ask if he can speak English. I can’t possibly explain the situation flipping through the pages of my book every second. I thought.

  “Parlate Inglese?” I asked hopefully

  “Si.” He answered briskly with a frown.

  I asked if he knew Marco; he didn’t reply. He just shouted something in Italian to someone else in the house.

  A very small and slim old lady came to the door and looked at me with a rather puzzled look on her face and invited me in.

  The kitchen was quite big, a proper farmhouse kitchen. The smell of food was making me very hungry. They asked me exactly what I wanted. I asked nervously if Marco was their son and where I might be able to find him. The old man laughed and avowed.

  “Marco, not here!”<
br />
  “Marco a very bad boy.” Said the old lady.

  “Well he’s my husband.” I revealed, picking at my fingers nervously.

  The old man looked very serious at that stage and the old lady started to cry. I was very worried and wished I hadn't even gone there.

  “Please can you tell me what is going on?” I pleaded

  The old man replied.

  “Marco cannot possibly be married to you, He is already married.”

  Maybe I had got the wrong Marco, I thought. I asked if they had a picture of him. The old lady went to another room and got a picture from the window ledge. I looked at the picture, yes it was definitely him. I showed my marriage papers.

  “Marco married and has little boy, we not speak to him for three years, his wife called Sasha, and his son called Giovanni.” The man disclosed.

  I explained that I met him in my home town in Lighthouse Cove in England and that he was working in an Italian Restaurant and that we have a little girl called Violet.

  They both sat silently and listened to me. The old lady asked me if I wanted more coffee, the coffee was real Italian, very strong, but really good. She offered me some of her home-made cake. I showed them a picture of violet, they nodded.

  “Violet, look like Marco.”

  I asked again if they knew where I might find him.

  “He probably with other wife.” Said the man, followed by laughter that mocked the situation.

  I didn`t really find this a laughing matter and couldn’t help but feel disgraced by the situation. I started to think that Marco may have used me to get his wife and little boy into England. They told me that the last time they saw Marco he was living in Tuscany and that their daughter-in-law used to visit them quite regularly, but had recently stopped.

  I told them that I would keep in touch and send pictures of Violet, and bring her to see them as soon as possible. They seemed to be happy about that at least. I thanked them for the coffee and cake and left.