Bella

by D. J. Barrett

  She ate it When I put the cake down in front of her gobbled it up like she hadn't eaten in ages.

  “How often do you eat?” I asked. I noticed how thin and pale she was.

  “They do feed me.” She said. “But the food here is disgusting so I end up leaving it.”

  After mother had finished her coffee and a second slice of cake, I got a wheel chair and took mother to the garden by the lake.

  “I never come outside, no one will come with me and I am not able to come alone.”

  We both talked about my grandmother and Caroline.

  “Caroline isn't all bad you know. Don’t blame her. She just won't stand up to your grandmother.”

  “It seems to me that grandmother rules the roost.” I told her.

  After I took her back to her room and promised her I would sort this out once and for all.

  It was late afternoon when I got back to the hotel. I decided to have a shower and eat out that evening. I didn’t particularly feel like staying at the hotel and I needed to make a few calls.

  I found a nice little Italian restaurant overlooking Sandy Cove. I called a friend of mine, who is a psychiatrist who is the same doctor that helped me when I had my nervous breakdown.

  He listened attentively while I explained my mother’s predicament. He told me he would try and come to Sandy Cove as soon as he could.

  After a restless sleep I showered and went to have some breakfast. My grandmother was at the reception sorting the books out. She looked up and gave me a false smile.

  “How is your mother Simon?” She asked in a sarcastic tone.

  “You know damn well how she is! Don’t pretend you don’t.” I could feel my blood boiling. She looked at me her eyes narrow like snakes eyes. The venom that spills out her mouth is poison. I ignored her and went to look for Auntie Caroline. She was in the kitchen making some cakes ready for afternoon tea. She looked at me and could see I was angry.

  “Are you ok Simon?” She asked.

  “No I am not alright, I just bumped into mother…. that woman is false and poison. Auntie Caroline laughed.

  “She will never change Simon; we are used to her now.

  Wait for me to finish in here and we can go and do a bit of shopping in town, maybe you could buy a gift for your mother.

  Caroline was waiting for me in reception. She was talking to her mother and I knew they were having words.

  “Come on Simon lets go.” The town she took me to was a few miles from Sandy Cove. There was a huge shopping centre with everything under one roof.

  I decided to buy my mother an MP3 player and put some music on it for her. Caroline told me she liked Neil diamond, and the Carpenters. Then I got her a huge box of chocolates and some flowers.

  My thoughts wandered to Bella and wished she was with me right now.

  I could remember her sweet words. “I can come to you anytime night or day.”

  After we’d finished shopping, Caroline took me to a cake shop. The cakes were beautifully displayed and made my mouth water. I decided to have a milkshake topped with whipped cream and marshmallows and a huge slice of New York cheesecake. Caroline had a strong coffee and a vanilla slice. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside. Caroline asked me about my life. I told her about Bella and the love I had felt for her over the years. And thinking she could never be mine because we were brother and sister. Caroline listened.

  “The worst thing Caroline is she isn't my blood sister. After all those years of loving her to find out I could have been with her.”

  “Whatever has happened so far has happened for a reason. If you and Bella still have the same feelings then go for it.”

  “But I still feel she is my sister even though we are not blood related. I love Bella, but still can’t believe we are not brother and sister. It's a lot to take in. That's why I needed time and chose to come looking for mother.”

  After we finished our cakes we went to the hotel. I quickly put some music on the MP3 player. Caroline told me to put my mother’s favourite song on from Neil diamond, ‘Hello again`. I had to admit that it was also one of my favourite songs. It always made me think of Bella.

  We arrived at the hospital late afternoon because the traffic was horrendous. Mother wasn’t in her room when we got there. We went straight to reception and asked where my mother was.

  “Your mother was moved last night.”

  “What?” I said. Now I was fuming. “Where is she?”

  “Don't worry!” I recognised the voice and when I turned round, my psychiatrist Ryan Jones came up behind me. “When you called me last night, I decided if I was going to examine your mother, I would rather do it at my hospital in Scarborough. As I told you before, when you were recovering in New York, I work six months there and six months here. I decided to come up here and get a bit more background on your mother.”

  “How long will she be at your hospital?” I asked.

  “Two or three days.” He replied.

  I decided to drive up there I knew it would take me some hours but I needed to be with her. I gave the flowers to Caroline, there was no point taking them with me. They wouldn’t survive the journey. Ryan told me he would meet me there. After a few hours of driving I felt really tired and desperately needed some sleep. It was early hours of the morning so I decided to stop off for a short break. I thought that a few cups of coffee would wake me up. I must have nodded off at the table. I nearly jumped out of my skin when my mobile suddenly rang. Auntie Caroline was on the other end and she sounded desperate.

  “Simon something terrible has happened; your mother had a terrible panic attack last night. At first they thought it was a heart attack, but luckily it wasn’t.

  I could feel hot tears on my cheeks.

  “How is she Auntie Caroline?” “I called a while ago they told me you are not to worry, she is comfortable.”

  I wished now I had kept my mobile switched on whilst driving but I turned it off so I could concentrate on the journey. Auntie Caroline told me she was on her way to the hospital.

  “I`m not far from Scarborough now and should reach there in about an hour. Where are you?”

  “I’m in Hull.” I told her. “I felt tired so I stopped off for a coffee to wake myself up and I fell asleep. I woke up when you called. I will leave straight away. I should arrive in Scarborough in a couple of hours. I will meet you there. Thanks for coming, I appreciate it.”

  I called Ryan to find out exactly what happened.

  “Hello Simon, I have been trying to get hold of you to tell you not to worry, your mother will be fine.”

  “Thank God! I was so worried when Caroline called. She is on her way here too Ryan.”

  “If you can meet me at the hospital at three, I will have some more information for you. Your mother is comfortable now and we are going to do a few more tests on her.”

  “Thank you Ryan, you are a gem. See you there.”

  Feeling better that my mother was ok and also being back near my home town. I decided to take a stroll on the beach. The weather was glorious and I needed some time alone.

  Taking my shoes and socks off and feeling the warm sand between my toes felt really good:

  The sea was calm and a there were a few whispery clouds in the sky. All I could hear were the waves and the seagulls.

  I walked towards the sea and felt somewhat calmer, the water felt like ice between my toes:

  It's been a while since I’ve done this. Last time, I was with Bella. I thought

  Feeling better and hungry, I realised I had missed breakfast; my belly was growling 'feed me. There were quite a few fish and chip shops in the area so I went to get a takeaway.

  I decided to eat them sitting on the bench overlooking the sea. It was a tradition Bella and I used to share, sitting on this bench and eating out of the newspaper, it tasted so much better. Bella told me that she used to eat it often like that with mother too. Maybe that’s why we liked it so much.

  My fish and chips were drownin
g in salt and vinegar, but they tasted Devine.

  My phone rang, it was Bella..

  “Hello Bella, you’ll never guess where I am, I`m sitting on our bench eating fish and chips.”

  “Yes I know you are. I can see you.” she revealed. I turned round squinting and tried to shade my eyes with my hands because the sun was blinding me. There stood my Bella, waving and smiling at me. I stood up, put my fish and chip paper in the bin and she ran to me. I picked her up and spun her round.

  “You don't know how happy I am to see you. How come you’re here Bella?”

  “Mmm let me think.” She said smiling. “Well a little birdie told me you were here visiting your mother because she had been transferred near here. I also knew that your belly would bring you here. You see great minds think alike.”

  I cupped her face with my hands and kissed the tip of her nose. Then I looked into her beautiful blue eyes. That was the moment where we would usually tenderly kiss, but I didn't kiss her because I felt somewhat awkward and nervous

  “I know you are nervous and so am I. It’s because we both know we no longer have the worry about being blood related. If I were to kiss you now it would be completely right and it makes me feel strange.” Bella whispered. It was like she knew exactly what I was thinking. I put my finger on her lips and silenced her because at this moment I knew it felt right. I tenderly kissed her long and passionately and this time there was no awkwardness. The only problem at the back of my mind was that Bella was married. I realised I couldn't break up her marriage. Again Bella read my thoughts.

  “It’s ok Simon I know what's worrying you and I feel the same. I have been thinking about nothing else. It makes me feel physically sick that now I can be with you, but that I`m married.¨

  “We have waited this long so I am sure we can wait a while longer.” I told her.

  We walked along the beach holding hands and talking. I looked at my watch.

  “I have to go soon Bella; I have to go to the hospital.”

  “Yes I know I am coming with you.” she said.

  “How did you know about that anyway?” I asked with a puzzled look on my face.

  “Ryan called me and told me everything and that you were here” She laughed. “Did you think I was psychic?”

  We headed off towards the car. The sun had gone and dark clouds were looming.

  “I think it's going to rain” I shouted.

  Bella was way behind me so I stopped and waited for her. When she caught up with me I lifted her up into my arms and ran to the car. The heavens opened and we could hear the distant sound of thunder. We were soaked by the time we reached the car

  “I should have parked nearer.”

  Bella was only wearing a thin white shirt; I could see the shape of her breasts and her nipples stiffening through it.

  “That's it.” I said, “I need to kiss you again and again.”

  I needed to feel her touch on me. I kissed her hungrily and slid my hand down her shirt. I cupped her breasts and starting teasing her nipples. They were hard as rocks and I felt extremely horny.

  The thunder was getting nearer, and the lightning lit up the dark sky. Even if I had wanted to drive, I couldn't have done, the rain was too heavy. We just had to wait until it calmed down. We both slid to the back seat. I stripped off my wet jumper and unbuttoned Bella`s shirt. We started undressing each other desperate for our naked bodies to meet.

  I kissed her again and again going down to her neck, then to her nipples. I could tell her body ached with hunger for more. Bella slid her hands down my shorts, I swear my body was about to explode at that instance. I caressed her and kissed my way down to her secret garden. She was soaking wet and I wanted to drink her.

  She moaned with excitement and put her hands through my hair.

  “If this isn`t right, I don't care. Bella's mouth slid over my penis and I was in pure heaven. Feeling her mouth round my penis was just the best feeling ever.

  I wanted our lovemaking to last forever; it was as wild as the waves that were crashing against the rocks. After, we both lay there silent and happy.

  Eventually all good things come to an end. We both got back in the front of the car and I drove to the hospital. The rain was still heavy and my wipers were going ten to the dozen.

  It took me a little longer than expected due to the weather conditions. Caroline was already there. She was talking to a nurse

  “Ah there they are.” She said

  I introduced Bella to Caroline and they both shook hands. Then we headed to my mother’s ward.

  Mother was sleeping,she looked so frail and old. I stroked her hair and took her hand.

  “My boy is here.” She whispered, stirring from her sleep

  “I am here mother, don`t worry, I won't leave you.”

  Bella sat next to me, and Caroline went and fetched us all a coffee. Mother sat up in bed. Bella got the brush and brushed her hair.

  “I am Hungry Simon.” Mother said.

  I went and fetched her a sandwich whilst Bella and my mother chatted. When I got back they were both laughing. I was happy to see my mother laughing with the woman I love; my beloved Bella.

  The doctor in charge came to see mother and updated me on her condition.

  “Ryan will be here shortly he is just waiting for some results, but all I can say is, there is no reason why your mother can't be released as soon as she is well enough physically. Mentally she is fine. She just needs to be with the right people.”

  Ryan knocked then entered the room.

  “Good news Simon. Mentally your mother is as sane as you or me. Physically she can go home today.”

  “What about her heart problem? “ It definitely wasn’t a heart attack. We ran many tests to be sure. It was a panic attack brought on through stress. Sometimes the symptoms can be quite similar.”

  “I am so relieved Ryan, but why has she been locked up for years like a caged animal?”

  Ryan scratched his chin and looked at me.

  “All I can say is forget what’s happened and just focus on the future.”

  Caroline finally arrived with the coffee.

  “I nearly sent out a search party” I laughed.

  “It took me ages to find the damn machine.” She gasped. I asked Ryan if we could take mother home. I had noticed how weak and frail she looked when I arrived.

  “Your mother just needs a lot of tender loving care and some good home cooking.”

  I looked at Bella.

  “That’s where you come in my girl I know you can cook.”

  It took us a while to pack all my mother’s things and put them into the car.

  “The question is where do you want to live mum?”

  Caroline jumped in.

  “She can’t go back to the hotel! That wouldn’t be a good idea at all!”

  Bella looked at me.

  “She can stay with me. I have time on my hands at least. I can cook can't I Simon?”

  “What you trying to say Bella?” She said giving me a wink. She laughed as she ran away from me teasingly shouting.

  “Simon can’t even boil an egg.”

  I chased after her. Caroline and my mother were both laughing.

  We arrived at Bella's house and Lizzie was there to greet me. I introduced her to our mother. They hugged and there were tears all round. It was quite an emotional moment.

  It was getting dark and the rain had finally stopped and the stars were out. What a great evening I thought, being with all the people I loved.

  Over the next few days mother grew stronger and stronger. Bella cooked some good homemade food and mother started looking healthier.

  We took her to get her hair cut and her nails done. I let Bella deal with all the girlie stuff,while I went to the gym. I hadn’t worked out in a while and needed to get my body back in shape.

  Bella, Lizzie and mother had just finished when I arrived to pick them up. I barely recognised her. Her hair was gleaming and beautifully styled.

&
nbsp; “Wow look at you!”

  I decided to take them for lunch down by the lighthouse.

  “They do the best lobster here and have a really good Chardonnay.” I said.

  We all decided to sit by the window. We could have sat outside but it wasn't that warm and mother had forgotten her cardigan.

  “I have never tasted lobster like it” mother said licking her lips.

  The next day Bella went to meet Claudio and her children from the airport. Waves of jealousy hit me.

  I just don't know how we are going to deal with this situation.

  I think that Bella and I will always be just a dirty secret. I love Bella and want to spend the rest of my life with her. But it's just a dream. I thought.

  Mother is getting to know Lizzie more. I am so happy that we have our mother in our lives.

  After Tammy dying god rest her soul, we have all felt very lost. She was our step mother for many years and we loved her dearly. I don’t blame our mother Sarah and our father Ted anymore, they did what they thought was best.

  My mother came into the room. I was sitting alone by the window staring at the sea.

  She sat down next to me and squeezed my hand.

  “What's up son, you look like you have the world on your shoulders?”

  “If only it was that easy mother. I just want to be with the woman I love, it`s selfish I know. Claudio is a lovely man and that's what makes it worse. I know I can’t break up their marriage, so I have to be strong.”

  Mother asked me to take a walk with her. It was chilly outside so we put on our jackets.

  We walked along the sea front. Many places were closed up because the season had finished.

  We decided to go to the pub near the lighthouse, the open fire was welcoming, so we sat in chairs close to it..We had a glass of wine, with chicken and chips in a basket.

  “I feel numb I can't cope with my feelings for a woman I can never have.”

  "You know, sometimes in life you have to do what is best, and if that best means putting your own feelings aside then you must. You have gone all these years thinking Bella was your sister and I think that's all she’ll ever be."

  “But now it's different mother she isn't my sister. We are not blood related and that was the only thing that was in our way.”