Tea & Croakies

by Sam Cheever

  Especially when she’d heard that the Quillerans and their daunting enforcer were involved.

  But, when she learned what the witch family had been up to, she reluctantly agreed.

  I gave her a friendly wave when we were all in place and received a tight, worried expression in return.

  I glanced at Lea. “I hope Alissia doesn’t give us away with her sour puss.”

  Lea turned from the table in the corner, where she’d been giving last-minute instructions to the undercover “customers” and threw the sour-faced proprietress a glance, sighing. “I don’t have enough mojo to glamour her. There are just too many moving parts in this.”

  I nodded. “We’ll just hope for the best then.” I didn’t want to burden Lea with anything more. She definitely had her hands full.

  But I wasn’t one to let Fate take the reins if there was another option. I moved through the crowded tea shop, my nose twitching under the delightful aromas of Alissia’s teas. As I approached, the woman seemed to get even more tense, her pale-blue gaze becoming even more worried.

  “Hi, Alissia.” I leaned on the counter, giving her a smile.

  To my shock, she smiled back. “Naida. How’s it going?”

  The way she asked the question made it clear she was asking about our orchestrated sting, rather than life in general.

  “It’s going all right. But I’m worried you’re not up to lying to Margot. This is going to be a whole lot more dangerous on everyone involved if she notices anything different about you.”

  Alissia stared hard at me for a long moment, as if she were going to take exception to my charge, but then her face broke into a wide grin, transforming her from almost plain-looking to truly beautiful. A golden aura shone from her newly bright blue eyes and the sweet scent of lavender wafted away from her.

  She seemed to be waiting for me to understand something. I shook my head. “What am I missing?”

  “This is the real me,” Alissia said with obvious delight. She let the grin fade and the aura turned to ash, drifting toward the floor. “This is what my clients see. This is what the enforcer will expect. I use a glamour every day in the shop.”

  Aside from my respect for the phenomenal amount of energy that must take, I was curious. “Why would you do that?”

  Alissia gave me a sly look, her gaze sparkling. “I have my reasons. But, trust me, Margot expects to see a sour-faced, terrified woman when she comes into Mythic Teas. And that is exactly what she’ll see.” She touched my hand. “I’ve got this. The Quillerans have harmed everyone and everything they’ve ever touched. It’s time for them to pay for at least one of their actions.”

  Warmth spread through my chest and tears filled my eyes as I thought of Sebille. I hoped she was still all right.

  “Showtime!” yelled a bright, obviously amplified voice from the front door. I glanced around to see a familiar, tiny form hovering before the door. As I caught his eye, Adolfo saluted jauntily and shot off down the street to watch the target approach.

  I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders, giving Lea a reluctant glance as I clutched the massive orange pill in my hand.

  She nodded, smiling her encouragement.

  I had to push the pill to my lips with both hands but, despite my bone-deep reluctance, I managed to stuff it into my mouth.

  Still, it took Alissia’s gentle touch on my shoulder to get me to chew and swallow. I was all too cognizant of SB’s contribution to the foundations of the magic pill.

  I felt the first jolt of the changes as Margot moved into view on the other side of the large, front windows.

  By the time she’d pulled open the door, I was perched on Lea’s shoulder, looking down on the surprising visage of an old man with copious white hair sticking out of his ears and nose.

  Ugh! When Lea did a glamour, she really went all out.

  Margot entered the shop with a confident stride, her sleek black hair blowing softly in the air from the vent above the door. She skimmed a look over the tables and the dozen or so people sipping and chatting, seemingly oblivious to her arrival.

  I danced back and forth on Lea’s shoulder, cocking my head to adjust to the extra layers of UV light and vibrant colors I could see in my current form. For a moment, I got distracted by my newfound ability to focus on Margot while still reading the gold lettering on one window, as well as the poster depicting the different herbs on the other window.

  Being a bird was the Gargoyle’s Sneakers.

  Visually speaking at least.

  There was no way I was eating worms or bugs.

  Did parrots even eat bugs?

  As Margot’s hostile gaze landed on me, I lifted my wings and danced to the side as I’d seen SB do a hundred times. I opened my beak and, before I could stop myself, I said, “Hello, my pretty. Polly want a cracker?”

  The Enforcer’s hostile gaze narrowed for a beat, probably remembering her dubious experience with SB at my house, and then skimmed downward to take in the old guy whose shoulder I was perched on.

  Lea lifted her tea with thick, gnarled fingers and took a sip. She turned a “get off my lawn” expression to Margot and the glare seemed to be enough to relax any reservations the Enforcer had about the parrot in the room.

  Margot headed toward the counter to order her tea. As agreed, Alissia filled an infuser with a slightly doctored loose tea and poured boiling water over it in a small pot. She grabbed a bran and raisin muffin from the display case, and placed everything on a small, wooden tray. She fixed her pale, worried gaze on Margot. “Have a nice day.”

  Margot seemed to hesitate. She stared for a long moment at Alissia and I saw the other woman tense. I nervously pranced across Lea’s shoulder, inadvertently scratching her on the ear with one of my claws.

  She reached up and flicked me with a finger. I flew into the air, squawking and beating my wings with indignation.

  Margot turned around and grinned as she saw me land on the woman at the next table, my claws getting caught in her poufy, gray-brown hair. The woman grunted in outrage. “Hey! Mister, keep your stupid bird under control.”

  Lea sipped her tea and ignored everything.

  The woman stood up and, shoving at her hair, walked over to point a finger into Lea’s grizzled face. “Did you hear me?”

  Lea seemed to startle, her head coming up, and she held a gnarled hand behind one ear. “Eh? What did you say, lady?”

  Margot grinned widely, enjoying the show. She dropped into an empty table in the back corner and poured herself some tea as the poufy-haired woman swung an arm in my direction. I took to the air, flying in frantic circles and squawking, “Parrot abuse, parrot abuse! Bwawk!!”

  I flew right at Margot, causing her to duck her head.

  While her head was down, I released the small bundle of herbs and fairy dust Lea had given me. The sachet opened above Margot’s head, sending its contents wafting down on her.

  Lea threw up a hand and a fine, iridescent blue dust filled the air, sifting outward to travel through the entire room.

  “Watch out, you stupid bird or I’ll roast you for dinner,” Margot growled.

  I flew away, happy to avoid that fate in whatever form I was in. I landed on the counter and waited for the tea to take effect.

  Margot blinked rapidly and then shuddered.

  The proprietress engaged the next phase of her role. “Hey, you. Old man. Get this bird out of my shop.” Alissia yelled across the room.

  Lea grabbed the cane she’d left leaning against the table and slowly stood, her bones creaking with the effort.

  I had to remember to congratulate her later on her excellent subterfuge.

  She lifted an arm and I flew over to land on it. But instead of heading for the exit, we headed for the restrooms at the back of the shop. A path that would take us directly past Margot’s table.

  Margot shuddered again and then doubled over as a long, loud gurgling noise erupted from her middle. She groaned loudly.

  As we pas
sed her table, Lea suddenly straightened and, lifting a hand, flung a handful of pixie magic over the enforcer with a muttered command. “Adtenuo!”

  Margot’s head shot up, her mouth came open on a long, drawn-out hiss and she fell from her chair, hitting the floor as she disappeared in a shower of sparks.

  The shop was silent, expectation hanging in the air like the remaining dust.

  Everyone stared at the small, dark oval on the floor and then Lea’s gaze found the two women at the nearby table. The first one, a young woman with long, straight blonde hair she had pulled back in a high ponytail, surged from her chair, her gaze locked on the spot where Margot lay. She screamed. “Cockroach!” Her throat muscles contracted under the primal scream and she scurried back, knocking over chairs and spilling cups of tea in her hurry to vacate the shop. The woman who’d been sitting at the table with her tried to stomp on Margot, her thin lips twisting with revulsion. “Disgusting creature!”

  Lea eased sideways, pushing the woman back with her drooping, old guy shoulder. “Step back, everybody. I’ve got this,” she said in a deep, rusty voice. Lea lifted her cane in the air and slammed it down mere inches from Margot’s cockroach-clad body.

  The bug finally shook off its stasis and scurried away, heading for a hole in the molding behind the nearest table.

  With a smile, Lea dropped her glamour and lifted her hand, energy sizzling against her palm. She threw the energy toward the bug. “Desino!”

  Margot stopped mid scrabble and stood there twitching as if trying to throw off Lea’s magic. It was one of the things we’d been most worried about when we’d come up with our plan. The Enforcer was a powerful witch in her own right. It was entirely possible she’d find a way to overthrow Lea’s magical shenanigans.

  Which was why we needed to move fast.

  I swooped down and landed next to the cockroach. My inner disgust meter was clanging wildly as I forced myself to grab the bug with my beak.

  I nearly spat her back out. The feeling of those revolting little legs wriggling against my lips…er…beak was enough to make me gag.

  Lea grabbed the book she’d been pretending to read and held it out, showing me the clocktower page I’d settled into place earlier. I flapped my wings and flew toward the book, anxious to spit out my prisoner.

  It was almost a relief when my talons hit the page, to feel the magic twisting against me, tugging the nasty bug from between my lips.

  At the last, possible moment, I felt Lea’s hand wrapping around one of my wings and felt the vibration of her surprised scream as the magic yanked her inside the book with me.

  20

  A Mystery Solved

  Lea and I landed in a tangle of legs and arms, hitting the slimy cobblestones and skidding sideways. I was vaguely aware of the sound of a heavy body hitting the stones and the muffled sound of swearing that was softened by the fog.

  Keeping her hand on my shoulder, Lea glanced toward the clock face. As usual, it was set for eleven forty-five. At the top of the hour, we’d all be sent on our merry way.

  That was all the time I had to convince Margot that she was going to stay a bug forever unless she helped us.

  Seeing the rage contorting her face as she stood and turned to face us, I was thinking I might not live for the full fifteen minutes.

  “I wouldn’t, if I were you,” Lea said, her hand still warm on my shoulder as we stood. “If you kill us, you’ll be stuck as a cockroach for the rest of your miserable life.”

  Margot’s big hands were fisted at her sides, her face purple with rage. “How dare you! Do you have any idea what you’re dealing with, witch?”

  Lea shrugged. “Actually, I do. I’m dealing with a witch who’s now a cockroach.”

  I was impressed by her calm demeanor. Personally, I was thinking I should have worn a water barrier on the outside of my panties.

  If I wet myself, I’d never live it down.

  Margot growled, flinging her hands up and screaming something in Latin.

  Okay, I’ll admit I don’t know as much Latin as I should. I was pretty good at deciphering it in written form. But the spoken language made my eyes cross.

  Whatever the command was, it fell into the fog and died, unrealized. Margot stared at her hands, looking confused.

  “You probably aren’t aware of the Blattarium Episodium,” Lea said in an offhand way. “It’s a special group of transformation magics only Sprites can conjure. Unfortunately for you, when Queen Sindra learned you’d taken her daughter, she was only too happy to help us take you down.”

  Margot’s wide face lost some of its belligerence. I didn’t know if there was such a thing as a Blattarium Episodium, but all that was important was that Margot seemed to believe it.

  “I’ll kill you all for this!”

  Lea simply stared back at the other witch until Margot’s rage fizzled out, leaving behind only fear. “What do you want?”

  I glanced nervously at the clock. It had moved eight ticks since we’d landed there. Not much time left.

  Already the fog was becoming more agitated.

  “We want the location where the Quillerans are keeping Princess Sebille…” Lea let the name sink in for a moment, reminding Margot that she was playing with fire herself by abducting the Fae princess. “And we want the artifact you’re using to steal people’s essence.”

  Margot stared at us for a long beat as the moments ticked loudly by overhead.

  “You have just under four minutes,” I reminded the witch, earning a growl for my troubles.

  A minute later, I said, “three minutes.”

  “All right. The princess is in a special room below the ground.”

  “Where, below the ground?” I barked out, losing patience. “You know, you’re the only one who’ll still be a cockroach when this is over if you don’t cooperate.”

  “Under the cat house,” Margot growled out, her fists clenched.

  “And the artifact?” I asked.

  Gong!

  Margot looked at her feet.

  Gong!

  She clenched her jaw.

  Gong!

  “I can’t give you that…”

  Gong!

  “I hope you like dark, shadowed spaces then,” Lea said.

  Gong!

  Margot struggled visibly with her decision.

  Gong!

  The fog rose to our knees, swirling faster and faster with every inch it rose.

  Gong!

  We were out of time!

  “Margot, you have about three seconds.”

  Gong!

  She glanced at me, her gaze murderous. “I won’t be a bug forever, sorceress. And when I figure out a way to break out of this spell, I’m going to enjoy tearing you into tiny little pieces while you scream for mercy.”

  Gong!

  The magic tugged at us, squeezing ethereal fingers of moist fog around our limbs.

  Gong!

  Lea and I shared a look and she nodded, letting go of my shoulder. She started to spin, rotating so quickly I could no longer make out her individual features, and then was suddenly sucked down into the rising mist and disappeared.

  Gong!

  I looked at Margot, letting pity fill my gaze. “Your life’s going to really suck. Hopefully, that parrot’s gone when we get back. He looked pretty hungry.”

  Gong!

  The magic wrung me out, yanked me around and burned against my skin until I hit the ground at Mythic Tea. I hit the tiled floor hard, lurching to stay on my feet.

  Lea was in place, waiting with a special jar as Margot fell from the sky. She neatly captured the dropping cockroach and quickly screwed the top back on the jar. “Got her.”

  “You poked holes in the lid?” I asked my friend.

  Lea got a confused look on her face. “Oops! Oh well…”

  I laughed, shaking my head.

  The front door flew open and Queen Sindra, surrounded by her soldiers and hundreds of Fairies, Elves and Sprites, flew through
the door. I recognized the young woman with the ponytail who’d screamed “cockroach” in a crowded tea shop flying at her side in the signature garb of Sindra’s guards.

  “Where is she?” Sindra asked.

  “Underneath the building where you found the kittens.”

  The queen inclined her head. “May nature bless and nourish you, Keeper Naida.”

  I inclined my head, feeling a weight leaving my chest as the queen went to release my friend. But even as I had the thought, my stomach twisted with despair. I still didn’t have the artifact.

  And the sun was very low on the horizon.

  Rustin was almost out of time.

  We walked into Croakies and I looked at Lea. “I can’t believe I failed.”

  She must have seen the despair in my expression because she gave me a hug. “You didn’t fail. You saved Sebille.”

  “And left Rustin to live a short life eating bug souffle as Mr. Slimy.”

  She patted my back and pulled away. “Rustin’s fate was decided long before he showed up on your doorstep. Sometimes we just need to recognize when there are events beyond our control and make peace with it.”

  I nodded, only because she was looking at me like I was about to do a swan dive into a gallon of French vanilla, fudge ice cream.

  Come to think of it, that sounded like an excellent idea.

  “I’m heading home,” she told me, handing me back the Book of Pages. Yeah, I’d shortened it because Book of Blank Pages was just too long to keep saying.

  Efficiency, thy name is Naida. Naid? Na? N?

  I locked the door behind Lea and trudged wearily across the floor. As I headed up the stairs to my apartment, I cast a look into the artifact library, frowning. First thing in the morning, I was going to find that hidden room the book had taken us to. I didn’t like not knowing everything about the space I was living in.

  Which is just hilarious, because I really knew very little about it. I just liked to tell myself I was the expert on the artifacts under my control.