Working It

by Christine d'Abo

  “Generous. Enough that no one will mind the early departure.”

  In the corporate world, there were no guarantees, not anymore. It was hard to let people go, but ensuring they had a generous severance package eased the pain. Hopefully, it would give them enough time to find another job before the money ran out.

  Zack pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “So the timeline in Friday’s email still stands?”

  “By end of day tomorrow, you’ll need to identify impacted staff. HR will run point, and they’ll be packaged out by end of day Thursday.”

  “I’ll have the list to you before then.” He pushed himself to his feet, suddenly aware of the weight that pressed down on him. There was nothing worse in the world than having to lay off staff. Knowing he was responsible for the financial breakdown for multiple families was horrible.

  Samantha stood as he began to walk away. “Are you okay with this?”

  “Not really. But I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

  “No, you don’t. But look on the bright side. If you can’t bear to stay on at Compass yourself, you’ll have an awesome separation package when this is all said and done. Enough to open that gym of yours.”

  His head snapped around so fast, the muscles in his neck screamed. “You know about that?”

  She snorted. “Do you honestly think there is anything about my executives that I’m not aware of? I was alerted to your little side project months ago.”

  For the first time in nearly a decade, he felt like a kid who’d been caught with candy before dinner: ashamed and embarrassed. “It won’t change my work ethic. I’ve always given Compass my top priority.”

  “Which is the only reason I haven’t brought it up before now. Needless to say, if it ever does affect your work here, I’ll have another name to add to my list of former employees.”

  Zack nodded, the message coming across loud and clear. “I’ll give you an update by end of day tomorrow.”

  He couldn’t look at her any longer, so he turned and left as quickly as he could.

  The elevator was empty, giving him a brief respite from social interaction. He leaned on the back wall, letting his head knock against the paneling as the doors slid shut and the elevator shivered into motion.

  God, that was not how he’d hoped that meeting would go. Why had he thought he’d be able to swoop in, demand that Samantha listen to him, and change everything to his liking? Hell, he’d barely gotten a few sentences out before she had him walking over to her side of the argument. She’d had the upper hand all along, because she’d known more than he had. Once he knew all the information, he’d come to the same conclusions as Samantha about what the company needed to do—because it was the logical, efficient course of action.

  Zack had always been cursed with seeing the big picture. It was one of the reasons he’d risen as quickly as he had through the ranks. As much as it hurt, excess sometimes had to be trimmed, costs cut, and people let go. The company came before the employees, and larger economic forces were more important than individuals; sometimes executives had to be the face of those larger forces. He’d never taken any joy in those acts, but before now he’d never questioned the validity of them.

  For some reason, this time it wasn’t sitting right.

  The corporate world had always been cutthroat, especially the higher he rose through the ranks. Max had rejected the opportunity to go into big business for himself, claiming that while he might not get rich, at the very least he’d remain in control of his life and stay accountable to the people who relied on him. Zack had always believed he’d been shortsighted, that Max had missed out on too many opportunities to take Frantic to the next level. Maybe Max had been right all along.

  Zack hoped Nolan would have a coffee ready for him when he got back to the office. He was going to need all the caffeine he could swallow to get through the next few days with his psyche intact.

  The elevator doors slid open on his floor to reveal Nancy, leaning against the wall on one shoulder as she stared down the hall in the direction of his office.

  “Nancy?” He stepped out and was surprised when she turned; she’d obviously been crying. “What’s wrong? The layoffs?”

  She nodded, her gaze dropping to the stack of file folders she clung to. “I hate this.”

  “It’s never pleasant, especially when no one knows it’s coming. But we’ll get through it. Did you want me to get Nolan to come help?”

  It was strange how the thought of losing Nolan hadn’t crossed his mind until Nancy looked up at him, wide-eyed. It hadn’t even been a blip on his mental radar. But then her lips parted, and the words came out a half second after he guessed what she was going to say. “Nolan’s on the list.”

  Of course he was. He was still a new hire, still under his three-month probation period, putting him on the list of easiest employees to lose.

  “No.” There had to be a way around this. Samantha had to be willing to cut him some slack, to make an exception. He had not only accepted the need for an assistant now, but had grown so dependent on Nolan he couldn’t imagine walking into that office and him not being there. Nolan was important to him, kept him productive and happy. Surely Zack’s importance to Compass earned him a bit of leverage in this matter.

  “Nancy, don’t talk to him yet.” He pressed the elevator button, knowing that if he didn’t talk to Samantha right now, then this could get out of control quickly. “Do what you have to do next, but not Nolan.”

  “I fought for him already. She was adamant that all new hires had to go.”

  “No!” He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. “No. Go to the next person on the list. Give me time.” He ignored the look of pity on her face, turning to step into the elevator the second the doors slid open again. “The next person.”

  She nodded as the doors closed.

  “Fucking ridiculous.” He stabbed the floor button and waited to explode through the doors the moment they opened. “Samantha!”

  She stood by her assistant’s desk, her shoulders rising as he said her name. “I thought you knew what had to be done, Mr. Anderson. I doubt you finished in the five minutes you’ve been gone.”

  “Not Nolan.”

  She turned, but instead of the sympathy he’d hoped to see, there was nothing but annoyance in her expression. “Nancy is taking care of your assistant. I thought it would be better than you having to do the deed yourself.”

  “There’s no reason to let Nolan go. I need him to keep things going in my office.”

  “Bullshit. You did fine for months without an assistant, you’ll survive again.” She turned her back to him. “Get on with it, Zack, or I’ll be searching for a new CTO.”

  His hand balled into a fist. “You wouldn’t.”

  “I guess I was too subtle earlier. Let me make it very clear: You have a clause in your contract preventing moonlighting, which your little side project gym qualifies as. If I invoke that clause, you’ll end up with nothing, and I’ll still let Nolan go.” She glanced at him, her gaze cold. “He seems like a capable man. He’ll find another job. Compass will get through this, and you’ll get stock options or a package. You’ll have more than enough money to do what you want. Now, I have to make a call with the board. Good-bye, Zack.” She took a file from her assistant, walked into her office, and closed the door.

  Zack couldn’t move. His legs had gone numb, his chest tight from the anger and frustration that swirled inside him. The poor woman behind the desk kept looking at him, her hand hovering close to her phone.

  He cleared his throat. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to call security.”

  What the hell was he going to do? He couldn’t lose his job, not when it was the only source of support for himself and the gym. But God, Nolan . . .

  He knew how difficult it had been for Nolan to get through the interview, to deal with the stress and anxiety of adjusting to the new position. Zack would have to talk to him, explain the situation, and find a way
to make things better.

  This time when the elevator opened to reveal his floor, Nancy wasn’t there. In Zack’s outer office, Nolan was pacing behind his desk, the phone pressed to his ear. No doubt he was running interference for Zack, or booking an appointment, or generally being amazing. Zack took one step, then another toward his office, his gaze locked on the man he’d shared a bed with only a few days earlier.

  Had Samantha known they’d slept together? It would certainly explain her resistance to the idea of keeping Nolan on—firing Nolan could be her way of punishing Zack for starting up the gym on the side. He wouldn’t put it past her. He could hear Nolan’s voice reverberate through the glass doors the closer he got. The words weren’t quite distinguishable, but Zack could hear his tone: pleasant, soothing, and calm.

  Nolan looked up and smiled at him as he pushed the office door open. “Thank you. Yes, I’ll be sure to add that to his calendar. I’m sorry, I have to go. Yup. You too.” He hung up the phone and rounded his desk to approach Zack. “Are you okay? You’re pale.”

  Shit, he was going to have to do this. He couldn’t leave it to Nancy.

  He had to fire Nolan.

  “Can you come into my office?” He didn’t wait to see if Nolan would follow; he didn’t have to. The smell and heat from Nolan’s body wrapped around him like a sweater. “Close the door behind you.”

  It was easy to go on autopilot. He had the routine down pat; he’d let so many people go over the years. Though never someone he’d slept with.

  Never someone he had feelings for.

  Nolan moved to the guest chair, but didn’t sit down. “Zack, are you okay? What did Ms. Rollins say?”

  Zack stepped behind his desk, but rather than sit, he turned to look out the window. “She knows about the gym.”

  “Ah, that’s bad, right?”

  “I have a noncompete clause in my contract with a moonlighting subsection. I can be terminated for any side businesses I start. I was told initially that was to prevent me from starting a consulting business while I was still employed, but Samantha informed me it applies to the gym as well.”

  “Shit. Is she going to fire you?” There was fear and a bit of anger in his voice. Sweet, but totally misplaced.

  “No. She expects me to do my job. As long as I toe the company line, she’ll overlook the gym.”

  “Well, that’s good.” Nolan came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

  The scent of Nolan’s cologne had faded from the morning, and now blended in with the milder smells of fabric softener, antiperspirant, and the raw scent of Nolan. Zack turned, almost pressing his nose to Nolan’s neck to breathe it in. Instead, he looked into those beautiful hazel eyes and forced himself to take a step back.

  Nolan frowned. “Zack?”

  He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t say the words that he knew damn well he had to. But he’d struggled too hard to get to this point, and he needed the money his position at Compass offered so he could reopen the gym. That was truly his heart’s work. Nolan would understand.

  “You’re scaring me.” Nolan reached out for him, but Zack took another step back.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? If you don’t tell me what’s going on, then I can’t help—”

  Autopilot. “Nolan, I want you to know that you’ve done excellent work in your time here at Compass.”

  “Thank you.” Nolan shoved his hands into his pockets. “But?”

  “But I’m sorry to inform you that due to some recent changes, management has no choice but to terminate all new hires who are still under their three-month evaluation period. It isn’t a reflection on your performance, and I will be happy to provide you with a reference.”

  He never once looked away from Nolan, so it was easy to see the joy in his eyes snuff out. The pulse point in Nolan’s neck began to throb hard, and the color drained from his face. “Wait . . . you’re serious.”

  “You weren’t singled out, if you’re worried about that. New hires were the easiest to target and had the least financial impact for Compass. Nancy has the necessary paperwork, but I thought it best that you hear it from me.”

  Nolan swallowed hard and reached out for the desk to steady himself. “Did you try to keep me?”

  “Samantha made it very clear. I either go along with the reorganization, or I’m shown the door as well. I’d lose my income and the chance to open the gym.”

  “So it was me or you.” Nolan’s breathing grew labored, and his body started to shake. “Well, it’s good to know where I stand.”

  “It wasn’t like that. If I’d kicked up a fuss, she would have fired me too, but either way you’d still be rolled up in the layoffs. My hands are tied here.”

  Nolan took a shaky step away. “But you didn’t even try to fight for me.”

  “Nolan—”

  “Don’t. Just . . .” He stumbled briefly before righting himself. “I’ll leave.”

  “Let me take you home.”

  “No.”

  “You’re having a panic attack.”

  “It’s anxiety, not panic. I just lost my job, why wouldn’t I be anxious? I’m fine. I’ll call . . . I’m fine.”

  Nolan had been doing so well that Zack had never considered the news would trigger an attack. But of course it had; even somebody without anxiety would be devastated to get fired with no warning. Especially somebody as conscientious and hardworking as Nolan.

  Zack’s heart ached to see this kind soul tearing himself apart. “Please, let me at least call you a cab. I need to know that you get home okay.”

  Nolan let out a strangled laugh. “Well, I’d hate to burden your conscience. Call me a cab, then. I’ll leave right away.”

  Without another look at him, Nolan gathered his things and left the office for good.

  Whether it was by luck or Zack making good on his offer, there was a cab waiting at the curb by the time Nolan stumbled out of the building. He’d thrown his security badge on the desk as he passed, but for the life of him, he didn’t notice who’d been sitting there. His world was spinning, and nothing made sense.

  Zack had fired him.

  He gave his address to the driver, closed his eyes, and tried to run through his breathing techniques. They weren’t helping. How could they, when his entire world had fallen apart around him in a matter of seconds? He’d lost his job and most likely the man he was starting to have feelings for. Not that Zack had said anything about their personal relationship, but Nolan couldn’t imagine that they’d be able to continue forward after this.

  What the hell did they have in common outside of work?

  He didn’t have a clue. They’d spent hours together, and Nolan had managed numerous aspects of Zack’s life, but he knew next to nothing about him.

  That wasn’t true.

  He knew that Zack used his anger like a shield to protect himself, and wielded it like a sword to slay the demons sent to hurt him. Nolan could picture a younger Zack, scared and angry, working out at the gym, learning to control that prominent feature of his personality rather than let it control him. Nolan had gone through much the same process over the past few years, doing his best to learn how to handle his anxiety. Neither of them seemed to have mastered their emotions.

  Nolan needed to get home and take an extra clonazepam and hope that would do the trick. Where techniques and practice and willpower failed him, modern medicine usually succeeded.

  When the taxi pulled up, he tapped his Visa on the machine and stumbled out onto the sidewalk. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and stay there until the horrors of his current reality faded. Grabbing the mail from his slot didn’t help matters, seeing as most of the envelopes contained bills that he no longer knew how he’d pay.

  Of all the things that could have happened today, losing his job wasn’t something he’d seen coming. How could he have? Apparently even Zack hadn’t known. Or at least Nolan assumed that, but really, he had no idea w
hat to assume or believe about Zack anymore. Maybe Zack had been sitting on that news for days.

  The quiet of his apartment, while normally inviting, pressed down on him. The place was one more financial concern he suddenly faced. He’d only officially taken over the lease from Tina the previous week, and there wasn’t an easy way for him to break it now.

  Tina. He couldn’t believe that his first reaction after Zack told him that he was being let go was to call his big sister. Here he’d been thinking things were finally getting better, that for the first time since the accident he was ready to handle everything on his own. What a joke. He was a joke.

  The bed was too far away, so he fell onto the couch, setting the stack of bills on the cushion beside him. His cell phone was still deep in his pocket, digging into his bad leg. He pulled it free and pressed the Home button. “Call Tina.”

  She answered after only a few rings. “Hello, brother.” Her voice brought a smile to his face. “You have good timing. I just finished getting dressed.”

  He was never going to get used to her being in a different time zone. “What time is it there?”

  “Eight. I have a half hour before I head out to work.”

  “That’s good.”

  “It is. So what’s wrong?”

  “Why would you think something’s wrong? Can’t I just call my big sister? Maybe I missed you.”

  “Dude, it’s lunch there. You’re usually run off your feet in the middle of the day. You don’t sound like you do when you’re having an anxiety attack, so I have to assume there’s something else going on. So tell me.”

  His chest hurt, and he realized he hadn’t taken his pill. He bumped into the coffee table on his way to the bathroom.

  “Nolan?”

  “Just having a bad day.”

  “Are you okay? You sound off.”

  The rush of water made it hard for him to hear what she said next. He fumbled for his pill, knowing that it wouldn’t work instantly, but it would help set him straight for the rest of the day.

  “Nolan, hon, you’re scaring me. Do I need to call Mom to come check on you?”