Lovestruck in Los Angeles

by Schurig, Rachel

  “God, how did I get this lucky?” He smoothed my hair back from my forehead. “That’s the second time I’ve had that thought tonight, but this time I mean it even more. I don’t deserve you, Lizzie.”

  “You do.” I squeezed his shoulders. “We deserve each other.”

  He kissed me, long and hard, right there on the dance floor. “It’s almost midnight,” he whispered against my mouth. “It’s going to be a good year for us, you know that, right?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Every single day might not be great. I know we’ll have things to work through, but I promise you I will love you every day. I will work for you and for us everyday. I swear.”

  “I will too,” I said, meaning it. “I promise I will.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Thomas booked Sofie’s flight for about the same time as our own, so we could all go to the airport together. After clearing security, we waited in the first class lounge, my stomach getting tighter and tighter as the moment of her departure drew closer.

  “Stop,” she said, tossing her neck pillow at me.

  “What?”

  “Looking at me like that. Like I’m heading off to war. Like your freaking heart is going to break or something.”

  “I can’t help it,” I said. “I’ve missed you. I will miss you.”

  “Little reality check for you, sweetheart. The last text I got from my sister said it’s currently fifteen degrees and snowing in Detroit. You’re going to Malibu.”

  “Good point.” I reached for her hand all the same, not at all surprised when she squeezed it back, hard. Sofie might act tough and unconcerned, but underneath she was every bit as much of a softie as I was.

  When they called her flight, I walked her right up to the gate not wanting to say goodbye until I absolutely had to. She hugged Thomas first, thanking him for the trip, before turning to me. She had tears in her eyes, but she was obviously trying not to let them show so I tried to hold back my own.

  “When will I see you again, do you think?” she asked, her voice wobbling.

  I shook my head. “Don’t know.”

  She threw her arms around me. “Just come home,” she whispered. “Sometime before you guys leave L.A. The flight’s only a few hours. Come home.”

  “My dad—”

  “Come stay with me. Stay in a hotel. Whatever. Just come home.” She pulled back and looked at me, straight in the eyes. “We miss you. All of us.”

  I pulled her close again. “I’ll try, okay? I’ll try.”

  “I’ll work on your dad and on Maria so things won’t be awkward.”

  I knew she would try, but I had little faith in her, or anyone’s, ability to get them to change their mind. My mother hadn’t been able to do it in all this time. Stubborn didn’t begin to cover it when it came to those two.

  “I’m so glad you came,” I said, two tears slipping down my cheeks despite my best efforts to keep them at bay.

  “I’m glad I came, too. I…I didn’t really get it, Lizzie. Why you were so desperate to get back here in August. I knew you loved Thomas, but I really get it now. You made a life for yourself here.”

  She pulled away again to look at me. She was crying, too. “You’re different here than you were at home. You’re confidant. Sure of yourself.” She sniffled. “You’re really happy.”

  “I really am.”

  She kissed my cheek. “Okay, enough sap. Love you, call me when you get to L.A.?”

  “I will. Have a good flight, okay?”

  She gave me a final grin. “Your boy swung for first class. I plan to drink myself shit-faced and then sleep on that bed thing the whole way home.”

  I laughed, she gave a final wave, and then she turned, walking down the jet way. I stared after her until I was sure she was really gone. I felt Thomas’s arms come around me and my knees went weak. My best friend in the world, and currently the only connection I had to my family, was leaving. And I had absolutely no idea when I would see her again.

  “Come on,” Thomas finally said in my ear. “They’ll be calling our flight soon.”

  I shook my head. “I want to wait.”

  He didn’t argue, just stood there with me next to the window, watching and waiting while Sofie’s plane slowly backed away from the terminal and, eventually, took off, taking her with it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Our first few days back in L.A. were the worst I’d had there yet. I would wake up every day with a tight feeling in my belly, which would only get worse when Thomas left for the studio. When Imogen and Heidi arrived for work, I managed to forget how badly I was feeling for a few hours at a time. But still, I found myself sinking into distracted daze after distracted daze, only snapping back to attention when Heidi or Imogen called my name several times.

  “I think I’m depressed,” I told Callie over the phone one night. “Or maybe I’m just homesick. I can’t seem to focus, and I feel anxious and tired all the time.”

  “What does Thomas say?”

  I tried hard not to sigh at her question. “He’s been insanely busy since we got back. Like, worse than before.”

  “I’m sorry, hon,” she said. “Maybe you just need a change. To get out of the house a bit more.”

  I bit my tongue so I didn’t snap back that it would be easier to get out of the house if my boyfriend were ever there to go out with me. That was silly, to think like that. I was a grown up, independent woman. I did not need Thomas to hold my hand in order to get out and see some of the area.

  Since I had enjoyed our hike at Griffith Park so much, I decided to try to find something similar. I spent a few hours researching on the Internet and soon had a list of hiking trails within close distance.

  Over the next week or so, I settled into a pattern. My time with Heidi would generally end around three-thirty, right around the time she needed to head back to her own rental to get ready for whatever networking she had planned for the evening. Heidi was going all-out here in L.A., snagging invites to countless industry parties and movie premieres. She was taking her “critical juncture of Thomas’s career” mantra to new levels since we’d gotten to Hollywood.

  When Heidi left I would work on my book for a while. Then I’d go over my list, pick a trail I hadn’t tried yet, and throw a few water bottles into my bag. By the end of January I was feeling better, finally freed from my post-holiday slump. The exercise and fresh air helped a lot, I was sure, but not so much as the feeling of control I was creating in finding and participating in a hobby independent of anyone else.

  My foray into hiking seemed to help Thomas as well. He was clearly exhausted from the movie shoots and most evenings would come home and collapse on the couch or one of the lounges outside. I knew he felt guilty about it, guilty about the time he was spending away, guilty about how tired and grumpy he was when he got home, particularly in those early weeks of January when I was so clearly down myself. I started taking my camera with me on my hikes so I could take pictures of the scenery and the various wildlife I was seeing. He seemed to cheer up when he saw the evidence of my satisfying, busy days.

  In early February, Heidi asked me to stay in the office for a few minutes after Imogen left. I pulled my chair over to her desk and watched as she pulled out her massive day planner. “So the party at Jenner’s house is tomorrow,” she said. “I wanted to check that Thomas has a clean suit available.”

  “What party at Jenner’s?”

  She looked at me over her reading glasses. “He’s hosting a party for all of the studio execs. The producers will all be there, the entire creative team, all of the publicity staff. This is the biggest social event on Thomas’s calendar. And you know, of course, that everything we do here in L.A. could have a major effect on the rest of his career.”

  I sighed. “I know. It’s just the first I’m hearing of the party.” I pointed at a box marked on her calendar. “I mean, I knew he had that night blocked off in his schedule, but I didn’t know what it was for.”
r />   “I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier,” she said, wincing slightly. “I assumed Thomas would talk to you about it.” Suddenly I knew exactly what was coming.

  “Because I’m supposed to go, aren’t I?” My voice was resigned.

  She nodded. “I’m sorry, Lizzie. Though there’s a business component, this is mostly a social and networking type of event. It would be appropriate for you to go with him.”

  I swallowed my second sigh of the last five minutes. “How formal are we talking?”

  “Cocktail.”

  “Then I guess I better go find a dress.”

  She watched me closely for a minute. “You look tired. Why don’t you take tomorrow morning and go then?”

  “That’s not necessary. I have a pretty big to-do list in the morning—”

  She cut me off. “Lizzie, I fully understand that there’s a blurry line between some of these events. You go as his girlfriend, yes, but you also go to help support his career, which is the epitome of what we do here. If you need to be out at an industry event all night tomorrow, you can certainly take the morning to find something appropriate to wear.” She smiled, a sight I didn’t see too much lately. “You’ve been having a rough time since the New Year. Take the morning.”

  “Thanks, Heidi,” I said, deciding she was right. Going to that party was going to be like going to work for me—something that I didn’t really want to do but had to do for the sake of responsibility. I figured I might as well enjoy what I could of the rest of the night and deal with the details of dress shopping the next morning.

  ***

  Thomas was quiet for most of the drive to Jenner’s house. He’d been quiet since he got home that afternoon, come to think of it. He’d barely said two words to me since he kissed me hello in the kitchen, not even commenting on my dress. Which didn’t offend me or anything but did strike me as distinctly un-Thomas-like. I kept shooting him worried glances in the dim light of the car, trying to judge his mood based on his expression. It was hard, the light filtering through from the streetlights not nearly enough to get a good read on him. Finally he sighed and reached for my hand. “I’m sorry, Lizzie,” he said, without me even having to ask what was wrong. “I’m just tired.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t seem like yourself.”

  “I’m sure. It’s been a tough week, that’s all.”

  “It’s a good thing we’re going to a party then. Give you a chance to relax.”

  He laughed. Was I imagining things, or did that sound bitter?

  “Thomas…”

  “Can we just drop it?” His voice was clearly tense, but he brought my hand to his mouth and dropped a soft kiss on my knuckles to let me know I wasn’t the cause of this mood. “I’ll feel better when I get a cold drink in my hand.”

  I settled back into my seat, watching as the buildings gave way to wooded cliffs and drop-offs. Apparently Jenner Collins had a massive house up in the Hollywood Hills. I’d been looking forward to seeing it, to be honest, but now I was a little torn. I was generally uncomfortable enough at these kinds of events, but if Thomas was in a bad mood it would probably be worse than normal. I didn’t think I had the personality or social skills to carry us both in a room full of movie people.

  We had to go through a gate to get to the house. Even then, I couldn’t see it between the trees that lined the driveway. When Thomas finally pulled around the final bend and the house came into view, I gave a strangled laugh. “Holy shit. That’s the biggest house I’ve ever seen.”

  Thomas laughed, too, sending a jolt of relief through me. Maybe his mood would improve. “Wait until you see the inside.”

  “Thomas, this is, like, the size of a hotel. How can someone live here? Jenner isn’t even married. He lives alone in that thing?”

  “He does indeed. All fifteen thousand square feet to himself.”

  I swore again, just as a white-gloved hand appeared outside my window. I jumped a little before I realized it was the valet, opening the door for me. I tried to smile up at him as I climbed from the car, as if I had strange, uniformed men helping me from the car every day of my life. I was relieved when Thomas came around to my side and took my arm.

  “You’re going to need to stay close to me tonight,” I whispered as we walked up the path towards the front door. “I’m not exactly in my element here.”

  “It will be okay. Jenner is laid back, despite the trappings.”

  I gave him a skeptical look, and he laughed. “Really, Lizzie. He’s the most normal person I’ve met in Hollywood.”

  I had met Jenner a few times—at Thomas’s Darkness premiere last year, the night he had met the movie star/producer himself. He’d also taken us out to lunch the weekend we’d come house hunting, and invited us to dinner our first week in town. He did seem laid back, and very friendly, but it was hard to imagine that a party in a house like this would be the same.

  The door was thrown open before we even reached the top of the steps by another smiling, uniformed man. “Welcome,” he said. “Come right in.”

  We stepped into the entryway, and I was suddenly overcome with the desire to giggle. This was insane. What on earth was I doing here?

  I had thought the house Thomas and I were renting in Malibu was over the top, but it had nothing on this place. Our entire three-story rental could have fit easily in this great room. Wide open with various sunken areas scattered around, the room could have fit every person I’d ever met and still have space left over. Everything was marble or glass or gold filigree. There was a car-sized chandelier over our heads, and I was pretty sure that one of the paintings on the wall was an actual Monet.

  “You’re about three seconds away from losing it, aren’t you?” Thomas asked, grinning down at me.

  I shook my head, sure I would let out a snort if I tried to talk. Thomas leaned down and whispered, “Wait ‘til you see the pool. It’s in the basement. Next to the bowling alley.”

  I did laugh then. It was all so ridiculous. There was a pool in the basement? Next to the bowling alley, of course. I had known there were people in the world who lived like this, but I had never imagined I would ever have reason to spend an evening with them.

  Unfortunately, Jenner Collins chose that minute to join us. I was sure I made a nice impression—snorting with laughter, my face red from trying to keep it together.

  He didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong, however. “Hey, guys,” he said easily, shaking Thomas’s hand. He leaned down to kiss both my cheeks. “I’m so glad you could make it, Lizzie. It’s very nice to see you again.”

  I was impressed he had remembered my name, and more impressed by how warm and welcoming he was.

  “Come in, come in,” he urged us, leading the way into the great room. “There’s plenty of food and drink, so help yourselves.”

  “Thanks, Jenner,” Thomas said. I was momentarily surprised to see his grim mood from the car completely gone. Had our little giggle over the size of the house cheered him up so much? Or was it possible I was witnessing some of his lauded acting skills in person? It gave me a bad feeling, for some reason, to see him so suddenly cheerful.

  “Your house is lovely,” I said, wanting to be polite. “It’s actually kind of breathtaking.”

  “Thanks.” His tone was casual, as if we weren’t talking about a twenty-million dollar piece of property. “It’s good for privacy.”

  “I was telling Lizzie about the basement pool,” Thomas said, winking at me. “You’ll have to give her a tour later.”

  Jenner laughed. “It’s a little silly, isn’t it? The guy I bought this place from was a real show off. Didn’t help him much when the economy went bust.”

  So Jenner hadn’t installed the pool himself. I wondered, vaguely, what his house in Michigan was like. I had a feeling it wasn’t anything like this.

  “I have to go have a word with the caterer,” Jenner said, once we’d joined the crowd of guests milling about the room, drinking and socializing. “I’ll
find you guys later, okay?” He pointed at the long buffet tables on the far side of the room. “Help yourselves.”

  After he was gone, I took the opportunity to look around the room. Without Jenner there, it suddenly felt intimidating. It was vast and open and filled with amazingly good-looking people in expensive cocktail dresses and suits. Would they all be able to tell that my dress had cost $39 on sale at Macy’s? I caught a statuesque brunette’s eyes on me—surely she was a model, with a body like that—and was sure she could, in fact, tell exactly how much I had spent on my dress.

  I tightened my grip on Thomas’s hand, and he wordlessly pulled me toward him. “Let’s get a drink,” he said. “Then I’ll introduce you to a few people.”

  I nodded, terrified at the prospect of talking to anyone in this room. Get a hold of yourself, Lizzie. You have no reason to feel bad about yourself. You don’t even know these people.

  Thomas poured us each a glass of gin and tonic. I tried not to gulp mine too fast. The icy fire of the drink was exactly what I needed to calm my nerves. “Okay, let’s get some of this unpleasantness over,” Thomas muttered, his eyes scanning the crowd. “Then we can both relax.”

  It dawned on me that Thomas was no more comfortable in this kind of crowd then I was. The realization made me feel better immediately, as if we were allies, and I squeezed his hand. I could smile and be polite for a few hours, even if I would rather be at home with a bottle of wine and a book. It was for Thomas’s career, and he needed me to be supportive. So I plastered on my biggest smile and followed him over to a small cluster of people.

  “Hello, Jonathan,” Thomas said warmly, placing a hand on the shoulder of the closest man. He looked to be in his late forties, dressed in a dark suit with no tie and the top buttons undone to show off his tanned chest. His hair was dark, wavy, and over-styled with gel. I had no idea who he was, but I could tell just by looking at him that he was important. There was something in the way he carried himself, something in his air, that bespoke success.