Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?
Page 39
“Dream On”—I wrote that when I was seventeen, and sometimes I feel like that young kid, this seventeen-year-old who just wormholed himself into this sixty-year-old man. The voice seems fine, but then there’s my feet, my knee, and my throat. But when I hit the stage, something miraculous happens. I go on tour and after a month I turn into Peter-fucking-Pan. The band is my happy thought and then I get my wings again. It’s my fountain of youth. I get so strong from the workout that I’m zapped back into being a twenty-year-old. And it’s not that I feel that way, but it is that I am that way.
Janis, Jimi, Jim Morrison, Keats, and Brian Jones, didn’t they all die at twenty-six or twenty-seven? It’s that weird doomed age. And I always wondered, since we all shared the same lifestyle, would I live past that glorious age. And guess what? I’ve been lucky; I’ve lived long past that. I was born on March 26, so I always wondered what I’d look like when I was twenty-six. It’s funny, when I was a teenager and way before Aerosmith, I would dry my hair after a shower with a blow-dryer and search for my face in the foggy mirror—because I couldn’t see my reflection. . . . I aimed the dryer at the clouded glass. There I was at ninety, and then the slow melt back to nineteen . . . “Every time that I look in the mirror . . .” Gee . . . sounds familiar! But the singer didn’t arrive until the song was written. Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Erin and I were sitting on the lawn in Sunapee, New Hampshire, one morning and the phone rang. It was Billy Joel. He asked me if I’d like to play the final show that Shea Stadium would ever see. I told him I saw the Beatles there in 1965 and that I’d love to do it. He sent a plane for us and we were on our way. Jump to . . . I’m backstage in my dressing room when Billy Joel walks in, saying his hellos. He introduces me to Tony Bennett, who to me is a god . . . second only to Frank Sinatra. . . . and I’m sharing a dressing room with him. HUDDA THUNK? Tony then introduces me to his son who asks me, “Do you know whose jacket this is?” It’s in my dressing room so I’m thinking, it gotta be mine, but no, I tell him, “It reeks of Sgt Pepper.” At which time he says, “Yeah, and it’s Ringo’s . . .” And he lets me try it on. Turns out, he’s one of the largest collectors of Beatles memorabilia in the history of memory. So, here I am, sixty days sober, sixty years old, sixty thousand people in the audience and in the house. . . . Sir Paul fucking McCartney, as the extra special guest, flown in from London that evening, who’s closing the show with “I Saw Her Standing There.” Forty-three years since I heard the Beatles open up with that at the same stadium back in 1965. We flew back to Sunapee that night and sitting out on the lawn in the dark, the same lawn where we had been that morning, I asked myself, “What just happened, what did I just do?” Living on the tail of a comet, it’s all so fast. It’s such an age of supersonic travel, transcendental or otherwise, and instant everything that life can become a blur for me.
When we tour we often hub in Minneapolis, fly to Detroit after that . . . and two hours later we’re back in the same hotel, hitting the sheets by four and thinking, “Where were we tonight?” When you rattle it back and forth . . . memories of what that tour was like, it all blends together: plane, limo, lobby, backstage, encore, limo, lobby, dressing room, plane. It’s just a big fucking blurrrrr.
Sometimes it feels like . . . all I’m doing is rearranging deck chairs on the fucking Titanic. And then I wonder why I don’t dream anymore—my subconscious must be saturated.
What I’ve seen, faces that remind me of faces, places that remind of other places I’ve never even been to yet . . . It’s just another example of vooja de. I could talk to you forever about the people I’ve met in the shadows of time, in the vibrations between musical fifths, even in the spaces between the words you’re reading right now. But when I zero in, things come into focus. When I went back and looked at my yearbook, seems like everybody I ever knew was there in those twenty small pages. Different people maybe, but then one tends to morph into another. Those forty or fifty kids in your graduating class, you never thought their faces would bleed into the future. . . . And so now I realize after peering into my own yearbook that the guy who was sitting next to me in wood shop looks exactly like the president of Sony. Where am I going with this? Whatever happened to a good melody? Maybe to be the headline speaker at the Alzheimer’s convention with speech in hand . . . to an empty house that forgot how to get there. . . . Gasp! Only to wake up in front of President Obama, Oprah, and Paul McCartney singing the last four songs of “Abbey Road” at the 2010 Kennedy Awards. And you tell me I’m not living the dream.
Me and Erin meet the Obamas at the Kennedy Center Honors, 2010.
One day, after my mom had passed, my dad sent me an e-mail which said: “Don’t wait until it’s the last minute to make the phone call. And use one of the quarters I gave you for these calls as a kid.” So I wrote him this little poem:
Once upon a dime I felt so alone,
So I first made a call on the last pay phone;
Something so strange inside of me stirred,
So I knew I’d be the first to get the last word.
I screamed “Oh, Lordy, is this my time?
I feel like the first at the back of the line.
So it’s all your fault and it seems to me,
I was on the last pay phone in NYC.”
Me and my dad, 2010. (Erin Brady)
Along with everything else that’s happened, life is good. And I’ve learned that if I shoot an arrow of truth, I must first dip its point in honey. I’ve learned the ancient lesson of apology—OWN IT. It puts out every fire you may have walked through in life. People, too, often miss the silver lining because they were expecting gold. I’ve seen the sun go down only to be swallowed by the ocean! Only to rise again in the morning.
TOP: Me and Bebe Buell, Liv’s mom, 2010. (Liv Tyler)
BOTTOM: Milo Langdon, my grandson, 2010. I’m a grandpa . . .
O yeah! (Liv Tyler)
I fell in love with Bebe Buell, and on July 1, 1977, my first baby Liv arrived. I married Cyrinda Foxe, and soon Mia was born on December 22, 1978. Then I married Teresa, and along came Chelsea, and two years later my man child, Taj, was born. Fatherhood changed me forever. I wept when I heard Chelsea sing in kindergarten. I burst with pride when Taj graduated high school. My heart broke from the honesty that Mia put in her book. And how Liv dazzles me in her movies. . . . And now I’m ever so humbled by the way she loves Milo.
Taj, Mia, and Chelsea watching Pink perform at Aerosmith’s MTV Icons show, 2002. (Ross Halfin)
Chelsea and Victor the Cat, 2011. (Steven Tallarico)
Liv on the cover of Interview, 2007. (Steven Tallarico)
Me and Milo, 2011. Grandpa—spaced out. (Liv Tyler)
Some of the marriages weren’t so happy for everyone, but most of the times we had were great. There wasn’t a woman that I had a child with that I didn’t love, but there were always two trains running: my family, my band. Sometimes toward each other and other times away. And a lot of the women in my life couldn’t understand that. Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you. You write a song with somebody, and it’s like having a child with them. . . . The songs are my spirit children. You’re evoking the spirits, conjuring up moments in time, ephemeral seconds where you hear that O YEAH sound in your head and catch the scat on the wing. Or it’s gone.
I now live in Laurel Canyon. I can’t believe I live where all my idols once lived, the very houses I’d drive by and wonder what fantastic scenes were going down in there. Jim Morrison lived one house down from me, Mama Cass three doors away, Chris Hilman of the Byrds two houses away from her, Frank Zappa and the GTO’s, Joni Mitchell and Carole King lived across the street from the guys in Buffalo Springfield, John Mayall, the magus of the Bluesbreakers lived there briefly, as did Jimi Hendrix in Errol Flynn’s old house.
It’s hard to tell who I am by the trail left by my musical career. I am the Demon of Screamin’,
the dude that looks like a lady, the rag doll that married Lucy in the Sky. But I’m also something more than the rock ’n’ roll junky whore who got his foot inside the door. Sure, we’re the sum of our experiences. If you listen to that song I wrote in 1969, “Dream On,” you might get a different view. I may not have been quite sure of what I was doing, but I was on to something. Just sayin’. . . .
My favorite Aerosmith pic of all time—Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, Irvine, California, July 29, 2010. (Kevin Baldes)
Acknowledgments
Aeroforce One, Robert Agriopoulos, Arthur & Pats–Dee and Artie, Peter Augusta, Amanda Ayre, Ken Backman, Kevin Baldes, Richi and Moe Balsbaugh, Jobete Baptista, Frank and Helen Barrick, Jeff Barrow, Roderick Bates, Beechy, Debbie Benson, Michel Berandi, John Bionelle, Uncle Eddie Blancha, Sandy Blancha, Scott Blancha, Todd Blancha, Kelly Blancha, Aunt Sonja Thomas, Holly Thomas, Felix Blancha, Grandma Bess, The Blue Army, Bert Bodel, Mike Boschetti, Charles Boyd, Erin Brady, Terry Brady, Judy Brady, Steve Brady, Els Brady, Jerry Bruckheimer, Bebe Buell, Helen Burnett, Andrew Caster, Roberto Cavalli, Kevin “Chappy” Chapman, Ellen Chiquita, Christine Ciavarro, Lauren Cohen, Meghan Cole, Tanner Cole, Kiley Cole, Derick Cole, Frank Connolly, Eileen Cope, Jimmy Crespo, David Dalton, Coco Pekelis Dalton, Mike Darnell, Clive Davis, Stephen Davis, Paul Deluca, Johnny Depp, Mark Dirico, Lisa Dirico, Jack Douglas, Rick Dufay, Dennis Dunn, Ralph Eaves, Jim Ebdon, Jill Elsworth, Peter Emspack, Steve Erle, Jimmy Eyers, James Eyers, Lisa Fasano, Randle Feagin, Tony Fedewa, Rich Feldstein, Virginia Fernando, Josh Flaherty, Mick Fleetwood, Betty Ford Center, Sylvia Fortune, Cyrinda Foxe, Jeff Frasco, Marti Frederiksen, Lonn Friend, Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Chris Furlong, Frank Gangi, Keith Garde, Julia Halcomb, Ross Halfin, Anita Hall, Cheryl Hall, Daniel Halpern, Tom Hamilton, Bob & Donna Hansen, Dick “Rabbit” Hansen, Apple Mike Harnois, Matt Harrell, Matthew Hasz, Deron, Christy and Iris Hasz, Julia Hasz, Johnny Hertsberg, The Hoffman School, Abigail Holstein, Marko Hudson, David Hull, Donny Inner, Russ Irwin, Randy Jackson, Elton John, Brad “Burt” Johnson, Doretha Johnson, Robin Joseph, Bob “Kelly” Kelleher, Denise Kirby, Josh Klemme, Allen Kovac, Joey Kramer, Linda Kramer, April Kramer, Julia and Spiro Koulouris, Lenny Kravitz, David Krebs, Mike Ladge, Jonny Lang, Dina LaPolt, Francine Larness, Don Law, Lee Leipsner, Steve Lieber, Ruth Lonshay, Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, Bruce Lundvall, Nigel Lythgoe, Billy Macdonald, Melissa Mahoney, Kenneth Malament, Andy Martel, Rick & Teresa Maston, Robert Matheu, Augie Mazella, Kevin Mazur, Paul McCartney, Brian McKeon, Truly Mean, Sabrina Ment, Pete Merrigan, Jay Messina, Larry Mestel, Ed Milano, Mike and Gail Milian, Justin Murdock, Guy Napolitana, 5610 Neatherland Avenue, Willy Nelson, Marc Nevins, Magee, Heidi and Jeff North, Aaron Notarianni, Johnny O’Toole, Stevie Panaminto, 100 Pembrook Drive, Joe Perry, Billie Perry, Adrian Perry, Aaron Perry, Tony Perry, Roman Perry, Keren Pinkas, Jeff Plourde, Stephanie Pohl, Lisa Queen, Robyn Quivers, Michael Rees, Peter Rice, Loree Rodkin, Ron Ross, Carlos Santana, Paul Santo, Ryan Seacrest, Barry Shapiro, Eric Sherman, Sherry & Philip, Lynn Small, Chris Smith, Henry Smith, Kari Smith, Don Solomon, Liz Stahl, Peter Stahl, Laurie and Richard Stark, Howard Stern, Alan Stohmayer, Rorie Suda, Joseph Sugarman, Richie Supa, Ray Tabano, Susan Tabano, Tommy Tabano, Lucy Tabano, Victor Tallarico (Dad), Lynda Tallarico, Liv Tyler, Mia Abigail Tyler Tallarico, Chelsea Tyler Tallarico, Taj Tallarico, Milo Langdon, Uncle Ernie Tallarico, Laura Tallarico, Aunt Phyllis Tallarico, Teresa Tallarico, Giovanni Tallarico, Pasquale Tallarico, Dominic Notarangelo, Ray Taviccio, Casey Thighbolt, Dutch & Boone Thighbolt, Simonida Tomovic, Emanuel “Bisou Bisou” Tomovic, Jim Vallance, Elizabeth Vargas, Heidy Vaquerano, Diane Warren, Ken Warwick, Jimmy Weiss, Hannah Williams, Brad Whitford, Kim Whitford, Donny Whitman, Debra Whitman, Tori Whitman, Steven Zeitels.
Index
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AC/DC, 196, 209
Academy Awards, 301
Academy of Music, 43, 104, 105
Aerosmith, 9, 45, 61, 63, 66, 80, 86, 89, 91, 93-95, 98, 100, 103, 106, 108, 109, 112, 113, 115, 117-19, 121, 122, 139, 146-47, 151, 155, 157, 166, 171, 181, 185, 194-96, 198, 201, 211, 212, 217, 225, 231-34, 239, 248, 252, 253, 263, 266, 277, 301, 303, 308, 311, 326, 327, 332, 341, 342, 351, 358, 359, 360, 364, 367, 373
“Ain’t That a Bitch,” 287, 308
AIR Studios, 190
“All Is Loneliness,” 48
“All for the Love of a Girl,” 33
Allman Brothers band, 140
“Amazing,” 214
American Idol (TV show), 138, 368, 370, 371
“Angel,” 242, 248
The Animals, 43, 45, 69, 87, 157
Apostolic Studios, 58
Apple Records, 60
The Association, 65
Atlantic Records, 112
Ayre, Amanda, 363
Bachman-Turner Overdrive, 154
“Back in the Saddle,” 175, 177
Back in the Saddle tour, 239
Band of Gypsys, 110
Baptista, Joe, 217, 218
The Barn, 29-30, 40, 42, 54, 77, 94
Barrick, Teresa. See Tallarico, Teresa Barrick
Beach Boys, 39, 59, 60, 127
Beatles, 9, 33, 38, 45, 52, 60, 64, 89, 97, 101, 107, 115, 117, 149, 157, 163, 175, 199, 200, 265, 267, 276, 308, 373, 374
Bell Notes, 53
Benson, Debbie, 30, 49, 51, 52
Betty Ford Center, 225, 366, 367, 368
Big Brother and the Holding Company, 48
“Big Ten Inch Record,” 164-65
Black Sabbath, 75, 145
Blancha, Eddie, 357
Bloodwyn Pig, 87, 115
Bluesbreakers, 376
“Bone to Bone,” 213, 216
Bradford St. Holmes band, 219
Brady, Erin, 225, 252, 254, 261, 327, 330, 334, 335, 345, 347, 348, 351, 355, 358, 361, 364, 366, 373
Bruckheimer, Jerry, 294
Buell, Bebe, 180, 181, 202, 218, 375
Buffalo Springfield, 376
The Byrds, 47, 53, 54, 61, 357, 376
Cactus band, 107
The Cenacle, 184, 185, 187, 188, 190
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), 206
Chain Reaction band, 21, 42, 61, 62, 63, 75, 164, 326, 357
Cheap Trick band, 182
“Cheesecake,” 213
“Chip Away the Stone,” 214
“Chiquita,” 213
Click Horning band, 123
Collins, Tim, 232-36, 239, 253, 266, 268, 274, 276-81, 283, 289, 291
Columbia Records, 112, 113, 173, 175, 214, 215
Connally, Frank, 107, 112, 113, 120, 156
Counting Crows band, 78
Cream band, 116
Credence Clearwater Revival, 98
Crespo, Jimmy, 211, 213, 215, 219, 222, 225, 229
“Critical Mass,” 185
“Cryin’,” 271, 298
The Dantes, 53, 66
“Dark Is the Bark,” 58
Date Records, 60
Dave Clark Five, 46
Davis, Clive, 112, 113
Deep Purple, 75, 184
Desmond, Child & Rouge, 244
“Deuces Are Wild,” 273
“Devil’s Got a New Disguise,” 293-94
Dirico, Lisa, 172, 224, 227, 262
Dirico, Mark, 316, 361
Done with Mirrors album, 228
The Doors, 50
Douglas, Jack, 152, 174, 175, 176, 177, 184, 185, 189, 190, 219, 221-22, 290
“Draw the Line,” 188
Draw the Line album, 186, 189, 190, 192, 198
“Dream On,” 10, 44, 93, 106, 113-14, 115, 117, 120-21, 124, 125, 126, 128, 131, 263, 276, 305, 342, 354, 373, 376
Dream On (Buell), 202
“Dude (Looks Like a Lady),” 242, 243, 244
Dufay, Rick, 219, 222, 225, 229
> Dunn, Dennis, 1
Edgar Winter Band, 104
Elvin Bishop Group, 155
Everly Brothers, 33, 74, 82, 97
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), 42, 206
“Fever,” 269
Fleetwood Mac, 78, 87, 93
Foreigner, 199
Fox Chase band, 72
Foxe, Cyrinda. See Tallarico, Cyrinda Foxe
Freddie and the Dreamers, 45
Frederiksen, Marti, 287, 313, 368
The Fugs (band), 87
“Full Circle,” 286
Geffen Records, 244
Get a Grip album, 266, 269, 271
Get Your Wings album, 144-45, 151, 153
The Glitter Queen, 145, 146
“Got to Get You into My Life,” 115
Grab Your Ankles tour, 207
Grateful Dead, 89, 187
Greatest Salesman in the World (Mandino), 363
Guess Who, 87, 145
Guitar Hero (video game), 340-41, 342, 343
Guns ’N’ Roses, 351
Halfin, Ross, 336
Hamilton, Terri, 209-10
Hamilton, Tom, 16, 77, 88, 91, 94, 108, 113-14, 131, 158, 167, 168, 187, 189, 210, 215, 222, 237, 239, 249, 269, 270, 283, 284, 285, 289, 290, 335, 336, 360
Hansen, Dick “Rabbit,” 188, 200, 207
Hawkwind band, 145
Heart, 199
“Heart’s Done Time,” 242
Hells Angels, 108, 144
Hendrix, Jimi, 49, 58-59, 67, 68, 99, 107, 110, 115, 312, 362, 373, 376
The Highwaymen, 53
Hoffman School, 24, 25
The Hog Farm, 65
“Hole in My Soul,” 168, 284, 285
Hollywood Vampires band, 275
The Hookers band, 97, 98
Hudson, Mark “Marko,” 114, 154, 265-66, 275-76, 287, 364
Hull, David, 110
Humble Pie, 104
Huxley, Aldous, 9, 66, 150
“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” 125, 292, 293, 294, 295, 296, 297, 298, 299, 301
Intermedia Sound/Studios, 99, 103, 116
Isley Brothers, 116
J. Geils Band, 369, 371
“Jaded,” 132, 313, 314
Jagger, Mick, 44, 45, 47, 66, 70, 80, 82, 99, 100, 115, 266, 312, 326
The Jam Band, 77, 94