The Big-Ass Witch (The Half-Assed Wizard Book 2)
Page 16
“That wore off a while ago, and I still think you’re hot.”
“Let’s not go there, Brett. In the end, you’re just not my type. I mean, you’re hot and all, but your personality leaves a lot to be desired. But hey, thanks for helping with the Dark Ones. There’s hope for you yet.”
I let out a heavy sigh.
She turned and walked away, stopping to thank Lakesha before moving toward the open gates to leave the salvage yard. Her cute ass swayed nicely as she walked out of my life.
“What are you staring at?” Lakesha asked, glancing over at me.
“A big-ass witch, of course.”
“Abigail or me?”
“She’s a big-ass witch, but you’re my big-ass witch.”
“You better not be staring at my ass, boy. I’ll slap you into next week.”
“Oh no, I don’t see you in a romantic way.”
“You better not. You couldn’t handle a woman like me. I’d crush you like those cars.”
“Cute.”
“Speaking of cars,” she said, “you owe me a hearse.”
“Bill it to my asshole father,” I said.
She nodded. “I just stopped him from getting a million dollars in his dead pool, but I guess it can’t hurt to send him an invoice.”
“August isn’t over yet,” I said.
“Good point,” she said. “Want me to scrounge up another dangerous job for you?”
“Can that wait until September? I’ve got a broken heart to nurse.”
She grinned. “I’ll see what I can do.”
A little later, we caught a ride back to Galveston with Michael, Sabrina, and the ghost of Demetrius. He was sad that his aunt was gone, but happy that she wasn’t stuck in her terrible loop anymore.
When we dropped Lakesha off at her store, she said, “See you at ten o’clock Monday morning, Brat.”
“More like three in the afternoon,” I said.
“Boy, don’t make me hurt you.”
“Sorry, Lakesha, I promised to take Demetrius to the comic shop.”
“Do that later today,” she said.
“I can’t. We have band practice. And we have a paying gig tonight. I can’t let my friends down again.”
Lakesha nodded and a smile spread across her face. “Maybe you’re growing, Brett,” she said with a measure of pride.
“Well,” I said, “I can’t let them down right now. Next week, maybe, but not today.”
She shook her head. “Get this fool out of my sight,” she said.
“I love you too,” I said.
“Don’t go saying stupid shit like that, boy. I oughta…”
I didn’t hear the rest because Michael wheeled away from the curb, leaving her to rant and rave. I’d pay for it on Monday, I knew, but after the last twenty-four hours, I was just glad to still be alive.
When we arrived at the haunted house where Demetrius stayed, I walked him up to the front porch while Michael and Sabrina waited in the Charger.
“How you holding up, little man?” I asked.
“Good. You?”
“Hanging in there, buddy.”
“Thanks, Brett.”
“You said my name. I’m so proud.”
“You made it so I could talk to my Auntie and she could talk to me for the first time since she died. That’s better than all the comic books in the world.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far.”
He wrapped his ghostly arms around me, manifested enough to give me a hug. “I would.”
While he was still solid, I ruffled his hair. As a parting gift, he dug a slimy booger out of his nose and wiped it on my shirt.
“Dude!”
He laughed, gave me a wave, then walked through the wall into his house. I shook my head, turned and walked back to the Charger.
“What’s that on your shirt?” Michael asked as he let me climb into the backseat.
“You don’t want to know,” I said. “Let’s go home.”
The Half-Assed Wizard will return in
The Dumbass Demon
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gary Jonas grew up in a military family, so he moved a lot as a child. His original plan was to be a comic book artist, but in college things changed. He took a creative writing class for the easy A, and found that when he wrote stories, people were affected emotionally by them in ways they weren’t by his artwork. He switched from art to writing without ever looking back. Well, he might have looked back a few times, but by then it was too late. He sold his first short story to Marion Zimmer Bradley for the anthology Sword and Sorceress VII. Many short story sales followed to various magazines and anthologies including Robert Bloch’s Psychos, It Came from the Drive-In, 100 Vicious Little Vampire Stories, Prom Night, and many more.
His first novel, One-Way Ticket to Midnight, was published in 2002, It made the preliminary ballot for the Bram Stoker Award. While the novel was well-reviewed, it didn’t sell diddly squat, so Gary turned to writing screenplays for a few years. A couple of Hollywood options led to nothing, and the notes from producers, while sometimes spot-on, were also sometimes way out in left field (if they were even in the ballpark). Gary returned to novel writing with Modern Sorcery. You can visit him online at www.garyjonasbooks.com, and sign up for his mailing list on his rarely updated blog.
Books by Gary Jonas
The Half-Assed Wizard series:
The Half-Assed Wizard
The Big-Ass Witch
The Dumbass Demon (coming soon)
The Jonathan Shade series:
Modern Sorcery
Acheron Highway
Dragon Gate
Anubis Nights
Sunset Specters
Wizard’s Nocturne
Razor Dreams
Vertigo Effect
Club Eternity
Timeless Gods
Spirited Christmas (holiday novelette)
The Kelly Chan series:
Vampire Midnight
Werewolf Samurai
Subhuman Resources (w/Rebecca Hodgkins)
Zombie Rising (w/Rebecca Hodgkins)
The UFO Conspiracy Files series:
Guardians of the Sky
Stand-alone novels:
One-Way Ticket to Midnight
Pirates of the Outrigger Rift (w/Bill D. Allen)
Collection:
Quick Shots
Novella:
Night Marshal: A Tale of the Undead West
also available in Night Marshal Box Set (the first three Night Marshal tales in one bundle--includes Night Marshal by Gary Jonas, High Plains Moon by Glenn R. Sixbury, and This Dance, These Bones by Rebecca Hodgkins). The set kicks ass.
Thanks for reading! All authors need reviews, so if you enjoyed the book, please write a review to help guide other customers. Read on!
Cover design by Robin Ludwig at www.gobookcoverdesign.com
Edited by Rebecca Hodgkins