Response

by Penny Jordan

  ‘How about lunch?’ Gill asked when they stepped out of the shop. ‘I’m whacked!’

  Over lunch they talked about the wedding, or rather Gill talked and Sienna listened. Rob and Gill were keeping on Rob’s flat where they would live when they were married. ‘I’m keeping on the agency, for the time being anyway, but Rob’s anxious to start a family, and he’s even talking about looking for a house in the Cotswolds.’

  After lunch they shopped for underwear and shoes. Gill was indefatigable, and Sienna felt exhausted when she finally called a halt. ‘I think I’ll have to forgo tonight,’ she said when they reached the flat. ‘I’m tired out, and besides, I don’t want to play gooseberry.’ Gill laughed but didn’t demur. ‘Rob said to tell you he won’t be back until about eight. He’s booked the table for nine, so see how you feel then. Thanks for your help, by the way. Tomorrow I start on furniture.’ She saw Sienna’s expression and laughed. ‘Yes, that’s exactly how Rob looked when I told him, but this place needs a thorough overhaul, it’s mostly junk shop stuff, and Rob says I can have a free hand. My godfather has come up trumps with a very generous cheque as well.’

  It was just gone five when Gill left. Sienna made herself a mug of coffee and switched on the television, settling down to watch the news. The main items came first, and she lay back in her chair trying to relax. The day had been a trying one, not just because it was so tiring, but she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her own wedding, comparing it to Gill’s. ‘Alexis Stefanides,’ she heard the newsreader say, the words cutting across her thoughts and jerking her to full attention, ‘often referred to by the press as “the Greek tycoon” is presently in London presiding over the disposal of some of his company assets.’ The picture cut to a busy street scene, and Sienna held her breath as she saw Alexis’ familiar features. Her first thought was that Sofia was right. He had lost weight, and his face looked saturnine and faintly sallow. He was stepping out of a car, and the reporter hurried forward, asking for his comments. ‘My only comment is that there comes a time in every man’s life when he realises that he is spending far too much time in the boardroom. I have now reached that time.’

  ‘And do you intend to dispose of all your companies, Mr Stefanides?’

  ‘No, some I shall retain, those which are easiest to control’ The interview was at an end, Alexis walked forward into the foyer of the Savoy and the picture cut back to the main news reader.

  Alexis was in London, and now she knew the reason for his loss of weight and changed appearance. No doubt it was because of all the business deals he was involved in. Sofia was deluding herself when she believed it was on her account. She switched off the television and roamed edgily round the room. Alexis here in London! She gnawed at her bottom lip. She had heard nothing from him about their divorce; perhaps she ought to go and see him? Would he see her? She could think of no reason why he should not. After all, he was not affected by her presence the way she was by his. He had nothing to betray or conceal.

  Making up her mind, she hurried to her room, gathering up a change of clothes. She still felt hot and sticky from their shopping expedition, and if she had learned one thing from life, it was that feeling confident about one’s appearance always helped one to appear confident.

  She showered and dressed quickly in a soft lemon suit she had bought before her accident. The waist was slightly loose, and she pulled a face as she notched the belt tighter, and slipped into toning yellow shoes. She rang for a taxi, and brushed her hair while she waited, not allowing herself to have second thoughts. The taxi arrived promptly, and she stepped into it, giving the driver her destination.

  When they reached the Savoy and she got out the butterflies which had been making tentative forays in her stomach swarmed in full strength. Almost she turned round and went back, but then she reminded herself that it was better to get everything sorted out, better to end their marriage as quickly and painlessly as they could.

  When she asked for Alexis’ room number she was slightly surprised by the startled look she received from the receptionist. ‘Mr Stefanides?’ she repeated, but she didn’t ask Sienna if Alexis was expecting her, which surprised her a little. She simply called over one of the staff, and murmured something to him.

  ‘If you would come this way.’ The lift bore Sienna upwards and stopped at the familiar floor, the porter leading the way to Alexis’ suite. He stopped outside, inserting the key in the lock, and pushed open the door for her. Thanking him, Sienna stepped inside. Perhaps Alexis was expecting someone and they had had instructions to show them up? That meant that he wasn’t in the hotel at present, Sienna decided, her heart sinking a little. She hadn’t anticipated that, which was surely a little foolish of her, but in her anxiety to see him and get everything sorted out she hadn’t stopped to think of the difficulties. Well, she was here now, and sooner or later Alexis was bound to return. All she had to do was wait.

  She sat down in one of the chairs, glancing round the familiar sitting room. The typewriter she had used was still there, and she wondered who was using it now. She got up and prowled round nervously, touching the wooden surfaces of the tables, trying to calm her overwrought nerves. A small sound from the bedroom stopped her, and she paused, listening, icy tremors of apprehension sliding down her spine. Who was in the bedroom? She heard another sound, and although it was distorted by the closed door, it sounded like a groan. A variety of feverish images raced through her mind. Alexis had been attacked and was lying hurt beyond the door… someone had broken in… someone had….

  Resolutely she pushed open the door, coming to a full stop at what she saw, Alexis was in the suite after all. He was lying in the large double bed, his unshaven beard darkening his jaw with stubble, his eyes closed, a hectic flush of fever burning his skin, completely oblivious to her presence. Sienna walked over to the bed and stared down at him, chewing her bottom lip. She reached out and touched his skin. It scorched her fingertips, a burning dry heat, which sent warning messages flashing to her brain. This was no ordinary sleep, but what was Alexis doing here, lying here ill? He was a millionaire, and yet in that moment it struck her how alone he was that he could lie ill in a hotel bedroom with no one of his own beside him. She dropped to her knees beside the bed, stroking the dark hair back off his forehead, her anguished, ‘Oh, Alexis!’ not even penetrating his fevered sleep. She couldn’t leave him like this. He needed a doctor, and at once. She went back into the sitting room and picked up the phone. ‘This is Mrs Stefanides,’ she said crisply to the girl at the other end. ‘My husband is ill and needs a doctor.’

  There was a moment’s silence and then the girl said in confusion, ‘But, Mrs Stefanides, the doctor has already arrived. One of our porters showed her up to the suite, ten minutes ago….’ she broke off, then said, ‘Oh, please excuse me, there has been some mistake—the doctor is here now. I can’t understand what has happened.’

  ‘It’s quite all right,’ Sienna soothed her. So that was why they had let her into the suite—they had mistaken her for the doctor! She smiled to herself. Did she look like a doctor? She wouldn’t have thought so.

  Five minutes later when she heard the knock on the outer door she flew to open it. ‘So your husband is ill again, Mrs Stefanides? Well, I warned him last night that he was overdoing things. He has had a very severe fever.’ The doctor glanced curiously at Sienna. ‘I didn’t realise he was married, but now that I do it explains a good deal. Your name wouldn’t be Sienna, by any chance, would it?’ He was a Scot and his voice broadened faintly over her name, his burr more noticeable.

  ‘Yes, it would.’

  ‘Ah, then you are the young lady he has been calling for. I wondered…. A quarrel, I suppose. They happen in the best of families, although your timing was a little bit off. I suppose he’s been a bit tetchy, hard to live with—is that it? I told him last night he should never have travelled.’

  ‘What exactly is the matter with… with my husband?’ Sienna asked huskily, watching him examine
the sleeping form.

  ‘A touch of malaria. He picked it up in his teens, apparently, somewhere in South America, and these things can flare up from time to time. I suspect your husband has been under a considerable emotional and mental strain. That often contributes towards weakening one’s resistance, which is why he’s suffering a particularly nasty attack this time, and he wouldn’t heed my advice that he ought to rest. Perhaps he’ll listen to you. I’ll give him an injection now, and if he’s no better in the morning, call me and I’ll come back. Otherwise I’ll look in on him again tomorrow afternoon. If you take my advice you won’t let him leave that bed for at least three days, and then when he does he needs a long restful holiday.’

  ‘I’ll do my best,’ Sienna told him shakily, knowing that she didn’t have the right to make any plans for Alexis’ future.

  ‘You’ll stay with him mind?’ the doctor asked her. ‘He shouldn’t really be left alone. He needs to be kept warm, but when the fever breaks and he starts to sweat he might get a little violent, throw off the bedclothes, that sort of thing.’

  ‘Yes, of course I will.’

  Sienna waited until the doctor had gone to ring Rob and explain the position. Strangely enough he did not demur when she told him what she planned to do. ‘We’ll expect you when we see you, then,’ was his only comment.

  When she put the receiver down Sienna went back into the bedroom. Alexis had turned over and was lying on his chest, his face buried in the pillows, his back exposed. She went across and drew the covers over him, and he muttered something thickly. His skin still burned where she touched it, and on some impulse she couldn’t quell she bent her head and lightly kissed his bare shoulder. He shuddered beneath her touch, and to her dismay she heard him groan her name. His eyelashes fluttered and for a moment she thought he was going to wake, but the drug the doctor had given him was too powerful and his body subsided, relaxing beneath her stroking touch. When she was sure he was asleep Sienna pulled the covers over his back and closed the door.

  Alone in the sitting room, she found the large diary she knew he kept and went through it systematically, cancelling his appointments to give him the three days resting period the doctor had suggested. Only when she was satisfied that she had done everything she could to ensure that no problems would arise did Sienna call room service and ask for a light snack to be sent up.

  ‘If he should rouse, don’t worry about it,’ the doctor had told her before he left. ‘He’ll be rather vague and probably not make much sense, if he does come round. Sleep is what he needs right now, the body’s best recuperative weapon.’

  She kept the door between the sitting room and Alexis’ bedroom open while she ate, the lamps dimmed low so that the light would not disturb him. He seemed less restless, and she picked up a book, trying to concentrate on it, hoping that the doctor was right when he said that Alexis should sleep.

  It was just after midnight when he stirred, his eyes opening and focusing directly on her with a brilliance that surprised her.

  ‘Sienna?’

  She got up and walked across to the bed. ‘Yes, it’s me. I hope you don’t mind.’

  ‘Mind?’ He laughed bitterly. ‘God, it only needed that! Are you real, I wonder? I have imagined you here so often these last few days that…’

  ‘I’m real, Alexis.’ She reached out and touched him lightly. ‘No, don’t get up,’ she told him when he started to move. ‘The doctor says you’ve got to stay in bed. He came earlier and gave you a shot….’

  ‘And summoned you to nurse me?’ he grimaced faintly.

  ‘I’m sorry if you don’t want me here. I saw you on television and wanted to see you….’

  ‘Wanted to see me?’ He laughed harshly. ‘Oh no, Sienna, you didn’t want, you’ve never wanted—you proved that beyond all shadow of any doubt on Micros, didn’t you?’ He spoke so savagely, so bitterly that for a moment she was silent. She had known she had angered him, but had never dreamed he would feel this bitterness, this ferocity she could see burning deep in his eyes, this sickness that seemed to eat into him when he looked at her.

  ‘Alexis, you’re sick,’ she said quietly. ‘You….’

  ‘Oh, yes, I’m sick all right,’ he agreed. He struggled to sit up and dislodged the sheet, his body gleaming beneath the faint light. ‘What is it the Bible says? Feed me on green apples, for I am sick of love. Does it amuse you to know what causes my sickness, Sienna? Is that why you are here to gloat over me? To torment me with all that I cannot have?’

  ‘Alexis, you don’t know what you’re saying.’ She must remember that the doctor had warned her that he might ramble. He certainly seemed to be doing so now.

  ‘Don’t I?’ His eyes glittered strangely, hectic colour staining his skin. ‘Or is it that you simply don’t want to hear? That would be the perfect punishment, wouldn’t it, Sienna? I refused the gift of your love when you would have given it willingly, and now I am reduced to a beggar at the gates, forbidden to even dream!’

  ‘Alexis, you don’t love me.’

  ‘How tender-hearted you are, even when you reject me!’ he jeered. He moved, dislodging more of the covers, and Sienna leaned over automatically to pull them up, careful of the doctor’s advice. Her fingers grazed accidentally across the smooth hot flesh of his stomach and he tensed, hard fingers curling round her wrist, forcibly pushing her away. When she looked up he was trembling, perspiration sheening on his skin. ‘For God’s sake don’t touch me,’ he muttered hoarsely. ‘You don’t want to believe I love you because you don’t want to hurt me. I know you, Sienna, you don’t like to cause others pain. I thought I could hold you, feed your hunger for me until you forgot that you had stopped loving me.’

  ‘But, Alexis….’

  ‘No.’ He dropped back against the pillows, his eyes closed, exhaustion drawing deep grooves either side of his mouth. ‘No, don’t say anything. I set out to use you, but in the end my vengeance rebounded on me. I told myself it was desire that fuelled my hunger, physical desire of you and mental desire for the revenge I had sworn my sister would have. That night in the cottage….’

  ‘The night you told me the truth,’ Sienna said tonelessly.

  ‘What truth?’ His eyes opened and what she saw in their depths made her gasp. ‘What I told you was the lies I was telling myself, the lies I had to tell myself if I wanted to retain my sanity. I loved you, but I could not allow myself to love you. You were a disposable pawn, I had already committed myself to the path I must take, I had sworn on my father’s grave that Sofia would be revenged. And then I discovered the truth.’ He grimaced and shuddered deeply. ‘That was when the full macabre humour of the Greek myths came home to me. Remember Theseus?’ he asked her. She nodded, wondering if he really knew what he was saying. His mind might wander, the doctor had told her.

  ‘Theseus was sent with the children of tribute to Crete, and before he left he promised his father he would return within a year alive and well. His father the King of Athens asked that if he did manage to escape from Crete, he change the sail of his boat, so that he would know he was safe. On Crete Theseus and his fellow prisoners managed to escape from the labyrinth, which was the home of the dreaded Minotaur, the monster that was half man and half bull, with the aid of the King’s daughter, Ariadne, but in his joy at escaping, Theseus forgot to change the sail, and when his father saw the boat approaching Athens, he believed his son to be dead and killed himself. The moral of that story is that even in our moments of greatest achievement, or greatest success, Nemesis lurks, waiting to remind us that we are only human and very vulnerable—dangerously vulnerable in my case.’

  Sienna leaned towards him, tears shimmering in her eyes, wanting to ease the pain she could see he was feeling, but he tensed and shrank back. ‘No, don’t touch me. Can’t you see,’ he groaned despairingly, ‘I only have to touch you and I forget everything but my need for you. Do you want to destroy me completely, Sienna? Is that to be your revenge? I can’t live with the memory of what
I did to you, do you know that? I can’t sleep for remembering how it was when you couldn’t remember, when you accepted me as your husband… your lover.’ He closed his eyes and shivered, the fever breaking.

  Could she believe him? Sienna glanced down at the bed, a warm tide of feeling sweeping through her, destroying the barriers of pride and pain. She reached out and touched his stubbly jaw, wondering at the vulnerability of him. When he was better would he remember what he had said to her, or would he always carry around inside him the barbs she had planted, festering and growing. Could she wipe out what she had done? ‘I thought you wanted me,’ he had said, and she had, but she had withheld the truth from him and let him destroy himself in trying to force it from her. Even if he did love her, even if she admitted that she loved him, could there be a future for them together with those barbs still festering?

  ‘Sienna?’ He opened his eyes and muttered her name thickly.

  ‘I’m here.’

  ‘Tell me that you believe me. I love you,’ he whispered fiercely, ‘I love you.’

  ‘I love you too.’

  He shook his head. ‘No—you feel sorry for me. Do you think I don’t know the difference?’ He smiled sardonically. ‘If you loved me why did you leave me? No, Sienna, thank you for your pity, but it is not what I want. What you said was quite true. You responded to me when you thought you ought to, because your mind kept the truth from you, but once the truth was revealed, my touch chilled you, you turned to ice in my arms, and I, God help me, didn’t even have the grace to release you. My crime was a thousand times worse than that of which I accused your brother. I raped you,’ he said bleakly, and she saw the suffering in his eyes. ‘I loved you, and I hurt you.’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head, and reached for his hand. ‘I wanted you, Alexis, you were quite right about that.’ He was watching her, his eyes burning into hers, but she could see he didn’t believe her. ‘I want you now,’ she whispered the words shakily, but there was still no response. How could she make him believe her? How could she show him that…. She tensed and glanced at him, moistening her dry lips with the tip of her tongue. ‘Shall I show you how much?’ He didn’t move, but she could see the sudden tensing of his muscles, the dark flare of hunger in his eyes that nothing could conceal. As she pushed aside the bedclothes she sent up a silent prayer that her guardian angel, if she had one, was watching over her now. What she was going to do took all her courage, all her love, and so much more besides, and if she failed….