by Rhian Cahill
West was pretty sure he should be nominated for sainthood. He’d been lying here with an almost-naked Kelsey in his arms, her curvy arse snuggled up to his groin, for hours. And for hours, he’d had a hard-on he could do nothing with. Then again, a saint wouldn’t think about sex at a time like this, half-naked woman or not. Self-recriminations for being such a deviant when Kels was clearly hurting bounced around his brain. She’d lost someone close—someone she cared about deeply—and his body wanted to roll her over so he could bury his cock inside her. Damn, he was such a selfish prick.
He glanced over at the alarm clock. Seven nineteen. The sun hadn’t been up an hour yet, and with his room being on the south-west side of the house, it was still fairly dark. Hopefully, Kelsey would get a few more hours sleep before she was forced to face reality again. Pulling his arm out from under her, West eased away slowly so he wouldn’t disturb her. She murmured something he didn’t catch before rolling over and cuddling into the quilt. Satisfied she wasn’t going to wake, he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom and a desperately needed cold shower.
Cold showers on winter mornings were not good. West shivered his way through, but at least he managed to get his hard-on under control, if not eradicated completely. The fact he had the woman of his dreams in his bed couldn’t be ignored entirely. Slipping into jeans and a T-shirt, he headed for the kitchen and coffee. He checked Kelsey was still sleeping on the way and found her in the same position he’d left her. There was no denying the thrill that coursed through him at the sight of her in his bed. He’d waited years to get her there. Unfortunately, the circumstances weren’t what he’d expected.
It had to be a good sign that she’d come to him in the middle of the night. She could have gone to Shaye, or even stayed with Bry, but instead she’d driven here. To him. That said a hell of a lot about the way she felt. Now, if he could only get her to be honest about those feelings when she wasn’t in the pit of grief. West didn’t delude himself though. He wasn’t taking her arrival on his doorstep in the dead of night as a confession of anything. If she performed to her usual standard, she’d be denying and backpedalling and throwing up those damn red lights the second she woke.
With a sigh, West left the room and made his way down the hall. He spotted her bag on the floor by the door. She must have dropped it when he’d pulled her inside. West walked over, scooped it up and took it into the kitchen with him. He placed it on the counter next to his keys and wallet. Seeing Kelsey’s bag—her personal belongings—beside his pulled him up short, and he stared at them. Wished it was something he saw every day.
He reached out to brush his fingers over the leather strap when her phone rang. For a second, he froze, but when the shrill ring blasted through the room again, he opened her bag and searched for the phone. When he saw who it was, it took him a heartbeat to decide whether or not to answer. Bry.
Taking a deep breath, West hit answer and brought the phone to his ear.
“Kelsey. I’m sorry to call so early after last night.”
“It’s West. Kels is still asleep.” West might resent this man for a few things, but he did the polite thing and offered his condolences. “Sorry to hear about your mum.”
“Oh. Um, thanks.”
Silence filled the line, and again West was forced to do the right thing when all he really wanted to do was hang up on the guy. He was sure Bry only wanted to impose on Kelsey’s soft heart again. “Can I help you with something?”
“Um, no, I just wanted to let Kelsey know our appointment at the funeral home is at eleven today.”
“Our appointment?”
“Yeah, Kelsey said she’d come with me when I pick out Mum’s coffin,” Bry’s voice broke over that last word.
And right there West felt like the biggest bastard on the planet. “I’ll let her know. Does she have the address?” he asked.
“I was going to come pick her up.”
“Oh, right. I’ll let her know what time to be ready then. Do you need help with anything else?” It pained him to ask, but he had to. Had to forget this man had a connection to Kelsey that West envied—wanted to sever. One he wanted for himself.
“No. I can’t do anything else until all the paperwork is dealt with. One step at a time. Funeral planning today.” West heard Bry suck in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “To be honest, I can’t cope with thinking about more than that right now.”
“I can understand that. Hang in there, and you know how to get me if you need anything. Same goes for the rest of the gang. We’re all here for you.” West wanted to be sure Bry knew Kelsey wasn’t the only one he could call on. Maybe then he wouldn’t demand so much from her. “Any time. Day or night.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“I’ll make sure Kels is home and ready in time for you to pick her up.” West couldn’t stop himself from implying she wasn’t there now. He hadn’t outright said she was at his house, but Bry would have to be stupid not to get the hint, and he definitely wasn’t.
“Oh, I can pick her up from…wherever.”
West smiled. No, definitely not stupid. “Nah, that’s fine, she’ll want to change out of yesterday’s clothes anyway.”
“Ah, right. Okay. Tell her I’ll be there around ten-thirty to pick her up.”
“Will do.”
“Thanks.” Bry paused but West didn’t fill the silence. “Bye then.”
“See ya, Bry. And don’t forget. Anything you need. Any time.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
West waited for Bry to hang up before pulling Kelsey’s phone away from his ear. He took note of the time and decided he’d make omelets for breakfast. There was no way Kels would let him go with her to help Bry, so he’d make sure she knew he was there for her in other ways. Ensuring she got sleep and ate properly would do for now.
Kelsey rolled over and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was, but when she did, she was slammed with two things. Grief and guilt. The grief she could easily explain. Marjorie was dead. She might not have seen the woman in recent months, but for years their contact had been daily. The guilt came from a number of reasons. There were so many things she’d done she regretted—was ashamed of. Her biggest shame surrounded her.
She’d taken advantage of West by coming here.
He’d welcomed her unconditionally and she felt sick to the stomach when she thought about the way she’d treated him. She’d let him in only to shut him out then let him in again. Except she’d never let him get too close. And yet when she’d needed him, she hadn’t thought about what that would do to their complex relationship. She couldn’t deny it any longer. There was something between them. Something that, even now, when she couldn’t hide from it any longer, she didn’t want to examine.
She could hear him at the other end of the house. He was in the kitchen, and if the aromas seeping into the room were a clue, he was cooking. Kelsey knew West cooked for the enjoyment of it, but also because he liked to feed people, her in particular. She’d lost count of the number of meals he’d turned up on her doorstep with over the last three years. Ever since she’d separated from Bry, she’d had the pleasure of eating one of West’s meals each week.
Since she’d separated from Bry…
Oh God. She’d never thought about it before. But that was when West had started feeding her. He’d been the first to arrive bearing a housewarming gift to that tiny apartment she’d rented the first year. Then he’d helped her find her house, helped her fill it with used furniture and even showed her how to change fuses when she hadn’t had a clue where to find them never mind replace them.
Had he been leading up to this? To them getting together? The more she thought about it, the more she remembered all the little things he did for her—little things that straddled the friends’ line—the more she was convinced that West had been wagin
g a slow campaign of seduction. She’d been blind. Stupid. Hurtful. Thoughtless. Without knowing it, she’d taken advantage of him. Except last night she’d known. All those second thoughts about coming over…
“Hey, sleepy head. Hungry?”
Jolted from her thoughts, Kelsey’s gaze darted to the doorway where West leaned against the frame. He wore a snug dark-blue T-shirt and jeans so faded they were white in places. All the right places. “Um, I guess.” Her stomach was hollow and she figured she could probably eat a horse if it was the only thing on offer, but after what she’d been thinking before he showed up, Kelsey wondered if it might be best to get out of here as quickly as possible.
“C’mon then. Up you get.” He pushed off the wall and strolled towards her. “I’ve made omelets. And bacon.”
Bacon. Her weakness.
He held out his hand and Kelsey did the only thing she could. She slid her hand into his and let him pull her off the bed and to her feet. “I should get dressed…” She glanced around for her clothes.
“Nah, the shirt covers you and you’ve only got yesterday’s clothes to put on.”
She looked down. West was right. The hem brushed her lower thighs and the sleeves hit her elbows.
“Do you want coffee or tea with breakfast?”
Kelsey let him lead her from the room. “Coffee. I need the caffeine hit.”
“You also need food. Did you eat dinner last night?” he asked as he ushered her into a chair at the table.
“A sandwich from the hospital cafeteria.” She didn’t add that it had been midnight when she’d gulped it down.
He exaggerated a shudder and pretended to gag, making her smile. “That’s not food. In fact, I’m pretty sure they only serve nuclear waste in those places.”
She laughed. “It wasn’t that bad.” The bread was a bit hard and the lettuce a little brown on the edges, but it had served its purpose and filled a hole.
“Well, this feast will be a definite improvement on your last meal.” He disappeared into the kitchen only to return moments later with a tray loaded with their breakfast.
“Oh my God. How much food did you cook?” Kelsey eyed each plate as he set it in the middle of the table. There was a huge pile of bacon stacked on one and the biggest omelet she’d ever seen on another.
West shrugged as he handed her an empty plate. “I’ll have the leftovers for lunch.”
“And dinner, I think.” She picked up a piece of crispy bacon and popped it into her mouth.
“Hey, I had my eye on that bit.” He mock frowned at her.
Kelsey grinned as she chewed. It was perfectly crisp with just enough bacon grease to satisfy the sinful indulgence without clogging the arteries. Typical of West to try and make an unhealthy treat healthy—not that she cared either way. Bacon was bacon, and she’d eat it until there wasn’t a slice left if she could.
“How much omelet do you want?” He held a knife in the middle of the egg covered plate. “Half?”
“No. A quarter. That way I’ll have room for more bacon.” She grinned and reached for a second piece.
“A third.” He didn’t wait for her to agree. And before she could protest, he was putting a good chunk of the fluffy omelet on her plate.
“West.”
“Kelsey.” He mimicked her tone.
“I won’t be able to eat all that.”
“Fine. Don’t finish it.” He put the rest of the eggs on his own plate. “Serve yourself some bacon while I go get the coffee.”
She did as she was told. Of course, she picked through the plate to find the crispiest pieces. By the time West put a mug in front of her, Kelsey had polished off another two slices and started on her eggs.
“Good?” he asked as he took his seat.
Kelsey covered her mouth with her hand and spoke around a mouthful of fluffy eggs. “You have to ask?”
He grinned and then scooped a forkful of omelet into his mouth.
Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes. It took no time for Kelsey to finish everything on her plate, and she stared at the empty surface with confusion. She would have sworn she wasn’t that hungry when West served her that huge piece of omelet.
“You want more?” He indicated the few strips of bacon still on the plate between them.
Kelsey shook her head. “No. I’m good. Surprised I managed to finish what you served me actually.” Then again, it was bacon…
“More hungry than you thought then.” West picked up his mug and took a sip.
“Must have been,” she said while eyeing those last couple of pieces.
West laughed. “Go on. You know you want to.”
She looked up to find him grinning at her. Smiling sheepishly, Kelsey reached over and snatched up the remaining bacon and dropped it on her plate.
“There you go. Not so hard, was it?” he asked.
“No. What’ll be hard is the extra exercise I’ll have to do to get rid of the fat these things are going to lay on my butt and thighs.”
He put his mug down hard on the table, making everything rattle, and leaned forward. “First, you don’t exercise on the best of days. Second, there’s nothing wrong with your butt or your thighs. They’re both perfectly sized and shaped, and I love running my hands over them.”
Kelsey’s pulse raced. Heat flooded her core and a tremor rippled through her. “I, um…”
West leaned back and picked up his coffee. He appeared calm. Except those penetrating grey eyes. His eyes were a firestorm of need and want and hunger, and Kelsey’s body reacted to the blatant desire he aimed her way. She tightened—like one of those vacuum bags she stored her winter clothes in—shrinking until nothing but her bone-deep yearning for him showed.
It all came down to this. The all-consuming attraction she had for him. Now that she’d slept with him again, the walls she’d erected all those years ago were crumbling.
Crumbling quicker than she could deal with.
Quicker than she could patch them up.
“Finish your breakfast, Kels.”
Instead of answering, she dug into another slice of bacon. The longer she could avoid examining her true feelings the better, because she wasn’t ready for where this was going—where they were going. Wasn’t ready to put her heart on the line again. She was popping the final bit of bacon in her mouth when West spoke.
“Bry phoned while you were still asleep.”
Kelsey had to swallow carefully so she didn’t choke at his words. “What?” Kelsey sat up straight, the bacon hitting her stomach like lead. “Bry rang here?”
“No. He called your mobile.”
“Oh.” She pushed back her chair. “I should call him back.”
“No need. He just wanted to let you know he’d pick you up at ten-thirty to go to the funeral home.”
“You answered my phone?” Kelsey wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Too many emotions were churning around inside her. Concern over what West might have said to her ex-husband about where she was definitely led the charge though.
West nodded. “I wasn’t about to let it continue to ring and wake you up. You needed to rest.”
“Oh.” Kelsey didn’t know what to say. Bry would have been surprised when West answered her phone, but hopefully the distress over his mother’s passing would numb him to the strangeness of it. As far as she knew, the two men hadn’t had any contact since her and West had fallen into bed together. She knew West wasn’t comfortable with her supporting Bry as much as she did, and she hoped he hadn’t said anything about it.
She also hoped he hadn’t given away the fact she hadn’t gone home last night.
Chapter Fourteen
Kelsey was dreading the next few hours. It had been an exhausting couple of days. Ones where she hadn’t dared talk to West for fear she’d crumble completely. She had to be strong for
Bry. As much as she knew it wasn’t really her place to support him so fully, she also knew the man was falling apart. Without her to drive him around and help start the process of straightening out his mother’s estate, he would still be standing in that hospital corridor where she’d found him the night Marjorie died.
Today was the funeral. And even though she knew she shouldn’t go with Bry, she hadn’t been able to refuse him when he’d asked. He’d looked so lost—so gutted—that every one of her heart’s strings had pulled tight and threatened to cut off her blood flow. She’d been the one to notify all Marjorie’s relatives and friends of her passing. To notify everyone of the time and place the service would take place. Bry couldn’t even manage to shower, never mind coordinate a funeral.
The doorbell rang and Kelsey’s stomach cramped. She hadn’t eaten much in the last few days. She’d found a meal in her fridge with a note from West stuck to it each night, but other than that, they’d only had a handful of texts in the way of contact. He’d offered to come over every day since she’d left his house on Saturday, but Kelsey hadn’t had the time nor the energy to think about what was happening between them, and until she did she couldn’t bring herself to lean on him. Not again.
Not if she was going to put a stop to whatever it was they were doing. And she had to. She didn’t think she could risk her heart to him a second time, and it wasn’t fair to either of them—but especially West—to continue seeing him unless she did.
With a sigh, she walked to the front door and opened it to find a pale and gaunt Bry standing on her front step. He really was a mess. He’d never get through today without her to guide him.
“The car is here,” he said in way of greeting.
She glanced over his shoulder to see the funeral-home car waiting at the kerb. Taking a deep breath, Kelsey reached for the door to close it behind her. “I’m ready.”
Bry held out his hand and then must have thought better of it, because he waved it in the direction of the street and the waiting car. “After you.”