When Hari Met His Saali

by Harsh Warrdhan

  ‘What is she talking about, Hari?’ Mary asked Hari, jolting him out of his flahback.

  ‘It doesn’t matter, Mom, that marriage was not real. It was only done to help her stay and work in this country. It’s not real. Nobody knows about it,’ Hari said defensively while looking at Simi.

  Simi, as usual, was lost.

  Is any of this is really happening or did it happen to Bobby Donnel and Lindsey Dole on my favorite TV show and I am just recollecting it. This is soap opera type shit!

  Simi even pinched herself, fully expecting to wake up in Nagpur only to realize that everything, including her trip to America and subsequent fuck-ups, were all part of her nightmare. But the tension in the room told her otherwise.

  Tia was like a wounded tigress.

  ‘Nobody knows? Because you decided to keep it a secret, remember? I was OK to announce it, but you wanted it a secret.’ Tia was in full combat mood now.

  ‘The document says they are already married, Mary,’ Barry said after scrutinizing the marriage certificate.

  ‘Le, if the two are already married, why did you want to have an engagement, after marriage?’ Badi Mama had a valid point, but her timing was not good.

  ‘Badi Mama, it’s just a marriage on paper. We didn’t do anything like a married couple,’ Hari said, taking the marriage certificate from Mary and tossing it aside.

  ‘Oh no? What about every Wednesday night, our Bollywood nights, when we consummated our marriage? And every other non-scheduled time we consummated our marriage? What about that time in the plane?’

  Mary and Barry couldn’t believe what they were hearing.

  ‘Hai? Plane? What plane? You did it in … Oh, Lord, take me away now!’ Mary started crying.

  ‘Hai? Plane vich? Sab passengers ke saamne?’ Nana was not going to be left behind; she vocalized her astonishment.

  ‘Tia, please calm down.’ Mary tried to stop this freight train before it caused any more damage.

  ‘Yeah, tell me to calm down why don’t you? Why don’t you tell your son how to NOT marry a sister and consummate it with her and then want to go off with her sister? Why would you though? Oh, right, he is YOUR son, that’s why, right?’ Tia had really come off the hinges now.

  ‘Tia, watch your tone!’ Barry finally boomed in.

  ‘No one is raising their voice here other than you.’

  ‘Yeah, gang up on me, that’s right, all of you, gang up on me …’ Tia started waving her hands and backing off.

  ‘Tia, bete, no one is …’ Mary tried to calm her again.

  ‘And you …’ Tia turned to Simi who was just standing there without interfering.

  ‘You are just standing there like a spectator, pretending that you have nothing to do with this. Fuck you. Now, you stay here, at your sasural. You are not welcome in my home. These people will take care of you!’

  ‘But Tia … I didn’t do anything … I … I …’ Simi couldn’t believe how it had turned into her fault; she had been standing behind Tia all the way, literally.

  ‘And stop calling me Tia! I am your elder sister, your Didi … you … you … show some respect.’ And with that Tia stormed out of the house.

  Barry gave Hari a serious scolding about the marriage.

  ‘But Dad I only did it to help her stay in the country,’ Hari said, defending himself.

  ‘Amazing. These kinds of things you hear about on the news or read about in the papers but never imagine it can happen to you or your family.’ Barry was deeply hurt.

  ‘It’s nothing, Dad. Tomorrow I’ll call my lawyer and get the marriage annulled in a minute.’ Hari was close to getting slapped across the face from Barry, but Barry knew better.

  ‘You’ll do no such thing. You’ve screwed up enough. Now, nothing is going to happen in this house without me saying so, understood?’ Barry warned Hari.

  ‘If you are implying that I cannot marry Simi without your approval, then no can’t do. Everything else, I don’t care,’ Hari announced defiantly. He had never spoken to his father like that before.

  ‘Are you outta your mind, boy? You think this is a stupid phone game or app. Listen to yourself, going on like a wind-up toy … Simi, Simi, Simi. Get out of my sight now!’ Barry lambasted Hari. This time, Hari was a little shaken.

  Badi Mama had by then got up and walked over to Hari.

  ‘You go to your room now. I will speak to your daddy. Go, go!’

  ‘Hari, go to your room, OK?’ Mary was afraid of Barry’s anger and wanted no more arguments.

  Hari took the marriage certificate and left for his room but not before gallantly announcing something to Simi.

  ‘Simi, you don’t worry. No one is going to come in between you and me, not even the Universe!’

  This is unreal! It’s like a scene from an overwrought, melodramatic Bollywood film. Who am I in this — the main heroine or the supporting actress?

  By now Simi was so numb to everything that was going on that she had adopted a defense mechanism of going into her own head.

  After the dust had settled, a little, Barry came up to Simi and apologized.

  ‘I am truly sorry to put you in the middle of this. I can only imagine how you must feel.’

  Simi nodded and then made an unexpected request.

  ‘Can I speak to Hari alone?’

  Barry looked at Mary; Mary shrugged her shoulders as if to say what’s the harm?

  Upstairs

  Simi knocked on Hari’s door. When he opened it he was so happy to see her. Like an adolescent boy, he asked her in and quickly straightened his room. He offered her his desk chair and stood next to her.

  ‘Ah, will you have something? Anything cold? Coffee?’ he asked as if she was visiting his own place.

  It was true in one way: Hari and Simi were meeting alone for the first time since all the cards had been laid down. A heart-to-heart was overdue.

  ‘Hari, I’ve just come from downstairs,’ Simi said smiling. ‘Sit, na. I want to talk to you.’

  Hari sat on the edge of his bed, his legs crossed.

  ‘Hari, in all seriousness you have to admit that nothing is going to happen between you and me!’ Simi opened with the most obvious comment.

  ‘I don’t agree,’ Hari interrupted.

  ‘Let me finish, Hari. How can you just fall in love with me? You don’t even know me completely,’ Simi said.

  ‘But that is why it’s called falling in love, Simi. One just falls into it. Plus, look at it this way, if I can fall in love only knowing you partially, imagine what I will do if I get to know you completely.’ He smiled at that.

  She couldn’t help but think that the guy had charm. But back to the topic at hand.

  ‘I don’t believe it,’ she continued. ‘Plus, you are in love with my sister, Tia.’

  ‘I was,’ Hari nodded ‘But I am not any more. ‘Was” is the operative word here.’

  ‘You are just under that magician’s spell. The day the spell is broken, you’ll be back to loving Tia.’

  ‘And what if I’m not?’

  ‘How can you not?’

  ‘Because I have never felt about Tia what I feel about you. Is that too difficult to accept?’

  ‘Yes it is. She is my sister. I came … we met because of her. I came to America for her wedding … to you.’

  ‘So if the circumstances were different you would also fall for me?’

  ‘Don’t get me caught up in words, Hari, I am not that smart.’

  ‘How about your feelings then? I can sense that you can feel my feelings as well.’

  ‘As a … a … as a friend, yes. What happened to you is unfortunate but what has happened to Tia is injustice. You know how much she was looking forward to it.’

  ‘She was looking forward to the function, the event, the party. It didn’t matter who the guy was, plus, she didn’t like me the way I was.’

  ‘That’s not true. You know she has loved you and only you.’

  ‘You probably didn’t hear t
hat she asked Xavier to make me into something I was not. And now that I am that person, she doesn’t approve.’

  ‘I am her sister, Hari.’

  ‘You are also an independent woman. Don’t you want someone to love you?’

  ‘Of course I do … but …’

  ‘But because it is me saying, “I love you” to you, you have a problem with?’

  ‘I have a problem with you being Tia’s fiancé … What am I saying? You are her husband.’

  ‘That was a long time ago and in two days’ time, that will be rectified. I want to hear it from you if it is me that’s the problem for you?’

  ‘Look, Hari, you are a nice boy … man … But I cannot even imagine … My life is in India, yours is here. How …’

  ‘The question is if, if you say you want to be with me, I will figure out the how part. Trust me, I am not as dumb as Tia thinks I am!’

  ‘I am your saali, Hari. I have been calling you Jiju ever since we met.’

  ‘You are my saali if someone is strictly speaking legally. And that too shall be taken care of soon.’

  ‘There’s no point in talking if you are going to be like this …’

  Tch. Where are the appropriate words that will make him understand.

  ‘I could feel your soul when I kissed you, Simi.’

  ‘Oh my God, I was just shocked, OK? You came out of nowhere!’

  ‘And still I could feel you.’

  Simi was suddenly feeling uncertain about her feelings and she got up from the chair. Hari got up too and came close to her. He was so close to her he could hear her heart and it was running at a mile a minute. It was as if she was frozen. She wanted to get out of his room, but she also wanted to stay back just a little to see what would happen.

  And then, without warning, Hari kissed her. Whether it was expected or not, whether she wanted him to or not, all of that was irrelevant, instinctively she had her eyes shut and was bracing herself on the edge of the desk.

  This kiss was different. This time, his tongue snaked into her mouth. She had never been kissed like that before. Namit was hardly a kisser — he kissed like he was kissing a baby. She frantically pushed Namit’s name out of her mind.

  Oh God, this feels sooo good!

  And then Hari broke away from her and backed off.

  ‘Oh, Bobby …’

  ‘What?’

  ‘… Donnell.’

  Shit, these kinda things just escape from my lips.

  She hesitantly opened her eyes. She was afraid that her reaction, her flushed face, her trembling body could be too easily read by Hari.

  ‘Oh God, I have to go now,’ she said hurriedly and ran out of his room.

  Same time — Tia’s apartment

  Tia was in a bad, bad, bad place. She had finished half a bottle of wine and was still speaking loudly. She was all alone in her apartment.

  On an impulse, she went through Simi’s suitcases in her bedroom. She found the gift Simi was going to give her — the necklace — wrapped in a lovely gift box. She set that aside and dug further. At the bottom of one of the suitcases she found greeting cards, expensive, singing greeting cards, plus expensive Godiva chocolates, and small lovey-dovey things — all from Hari and neatly saved in a stack by Simi.

  There was also a handwritten note with a ‘poem’ written by Hari:

  Let’s sin

  On a tiger skin

  Or, if you prefer

  We could err

  On a different fur!!!

  (For which he had received a slap across the face from Simi.)

  Another one was beautifully handwritten.

  The little moments

  I spend with you,

  Make my life beautiful

  Day by day,

  Silently, in my heart

  I thank God for

  Bringing you Simi,

  My way!

  (Simi had asked him with equal innocence to repeat it many times.)

  It was simple, juvenile and stupid. Tia knew Hari must have come up with it himself.

  Tia would read each and every greeting card, and realized that Hari was capable of writing some really romantic stuff. One in particular, a singing greeting card, had his own voice recorded and he was singing her an Italian song.

  An Italian song?

  ‘Motherfucker!’

  She screamed as she tore up the card and then tore up all the other cards and then went on to eat all the chocolates. There were too many, but it was a different kind of hunger that was making her shove them into her mouth. It was rage.

  ‘You bitch!’

  She screamed as she laughed out loud seeing all the shredded cards and chocolate wrappers on the floor as the tears ran down her cheeks. She was ready to go to New York and immediately texted Stephan. Once that was done, she took the necklace and locked it in her closet. It was hers! Then she went into the bathroom, rolled up her sleeves and proceeded to scrub the hell out of the henna on her hands.

  Over at the Malhotra house, Hari was lying on his bed with a satisfied and accomplished smile. Some bad things had come out into the open, but overall the day belonged to him, he felt.

  He was right, over in Badi Mama’s bedroom, which is where Simi was put up for the night because Mary had said that, ‘Koyi na. By tomorrow everyone will be OK by God’s grace.’ Simi was unable to sleep.

  She could still taste Hari from the kiss. She would have reacted with a ‘Eweee’ just a couple of weeks ago, but tonight she was not so sure. She didn’t brush her teeth that night.

  But she was increasingly feeling scared. Scared of her emotions, of what she had felt in Hari’s room.

  Was it possible I too had …

  But she didn’t even let that thought get a foothold in her head. But what she couldn’t ignore was her body — it was tingling all over. She had never felt like that before.

  ‘Oh God, please guide me. Give me strength to overcome this,’ Simi said with her hands joined in prayer.

  Badi Mama muttered from her bed.

  ‘Suddenly, God’s name is on everyone’s lips. Otherwise, no one remembers him. So typical.’

  ‘I am sorry, Badi Mama.’ Simi said, as if she’d been caught doing something irresponsible.

  ‘Chalsojaabeta, abkalpatanahiaurkyakyahonahai,’she said, telling Simi to sleep because God only knows what was in store for tomorrow.

  Two days later — The Waldorf, New York

  Tia had the same suite she had stayed in on her last New York trip. This time, however, she felt much more liberated for some reason. Maybe because the contract was in the bag and the meeting with the committee was just a follow up. Over the past few weeks, she had been Skyping with the heritage committee members, so there was already an established rapport with them.

  ‘I feel like going for a walk. Wanna join?’ she had asked Stephan as soon as their meeting was done. The contracts were being drawn up by their respective lawyers.

  ‘You’ll have to excuse me Tia, but you go on. Go to the Central Park. You cannot come to New York and not go there.’

  ‘Isn’t that where young lovers park themselves?’

  ‘That’s just, just … it is a marvel! A beautiful public park on 840 acres of land at the center of Manhattan in New York City — Central Park is the soul of the city’

  ‘If I didn’t know better, I would’ve guessed that’s the architect in you talking. A sales pitch for the biggest lover’s park?’ Tia felt she flirted with that line and with the forced twinkle in her eyes.

  Instead, there was that awkward pause again and Stephan was looking at her with concern.

  ‘I know you are feeling vulnerable, Tia, and as a friend I am telling you not to do something that you’ll regret later.’

  She was not listening to him, just nodding her head.

  Stephan looked so delicious to her. It was too bad he wasn’t the type for a one-night stand, because she could have used one on this trip. There were three more days in New York and she held onto the
fact there was still that possibility.

  Tia took off on her own. Her first stop was to the Tiffany’s flagship store on Fifth Avenue in Lower Manhattan. She always wanted to buy something from this place just so she could tell people she had shopped at Tiffany’s in New York. It was an iconic upscale jewelry store known all over the world for its expensive diamond collections.

  She walked out with a stunning solitaire pendant on a white gold platinum chain around her neck. She felt accomplished as she threw up her arms, looked up to the sky and screamed, ‘Fuck You!’

  She then went to Times Square, ate a hot dog from a street vendor, bought an expensive overcoat, ate a Baskin Robbins ice cream in a cone, clicked some selfies and generally indulged herself.

  Finally she walked into Central Park … with her shopping bags and not a care in the world. She had, before leaving Los Angeles, employed a local courier service to send Simi’s suitcases to Hari’s house. As far as she was concerned, she had done her duty towards her sister. She was free as a bird, often how people feel when they get out of a bad relationship after being in it for a long time.

  She looked at all the lovers in the park and she started playing a game in her head. She would see a couple, holding hands, kissing, walking hand-inhand or arm-in-arm, or playing frisbee on the lush green grass and profile their lives.

  ‘Fake!’, ‘She’s a bitch!’, ‘He is gay!’, ‘She is cheating on you.’

  And to those who really looked happy she would just go ‘Fuck you’, ‘Fuck you’, ‘Fuck you’, ‘Fuck you’, ‘Fuck you’, ‘Fuck you’, ‘Fuck you’!

  She derived immense pleasure from labeling people as she walked quite a bit before sitting down on a bench. She bought a two-dollar bag of pigeon feed from a vendor and was feeding the birds — an often seen activity in Central Park — when she noticed a woman of sixty maybe, sitting all alone on a bench next to her. She was wearing an overcoat similar to hers, had shopping bags like hers and was feeding the pigeons too.

  For a moment, she saw herself in that woman but she shook off the feeling. She got up and hailed a cab ‘To the Waldorf!’ and then contemplated whether she should seduce Stephan.

  She decided that she should.

  But of course Tia was too smart to risk messing up her career by getting involved with Stephan, and nothing came out of that thought. It wasn’t like Stephan was eager to jump her bones, she knew he was too committed to Clara, but it was nice to be able to contemplate it without feeling guilty.