Confess (Sin City Salvation #1)

by A. Zavarelli

  “I remember the way they fucked me. A girl who had barely sprouted boobs. They never questioned it. They just told me what they wanted. What they needed. But you know what? They never asked me what I wanted. What I needed.”

  Her voice was shaded with quiet rage, and I wanted more than anything to take away her pain. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know how I’d become so hung up on this damaged girl and the intimate secrets of her life. But I collected them, and I kept them stored away in my memory, waiting for a day when the inevitable would happen. She would lure me from the path of righteousness. She would tempt my demons out to play.

  “Does this make you uncomfortable?” she asked. “You probably don’t like to hear me say fuck, huh? You probably don’t know what to say when I tell you that I learned how to please a man long before I ever learned how to do basic math.”

  “It’s your truth,” I choked out. “It’s not for me to silence.”

  “It makes me wonder,” she said. “If there is a God, where was he then? Does your God want me to be powerless? Is that it?”

  “No,” I answered. “You have more power than you could ever imagine.”

  “Sure, I do.” She scoffed. “Because I took that power, and I made it mine.”

  “You’ll never let a man hurt you again,” I supplied for her.

  There was a quiver in her voice when she answered. “That’s right.”

  “There’s just one problem with that,” I told her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “It means you’ll never let one love you, either.”

  “WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?” Gypsy looked around the same room that I’d first taken her in this club.

  “Get undressed,” I commanded.

  She hesitated, her eyes drifting to the door I’d locked behind us. Tonight was not for show. It was intimate. Something for her and me and nobody else.

  “Why did you bring me here?” she repeated.

  I moved into her space, my fingers ghosting over the fading redness on her neck. “Do you trust me yet?”

  I was desperate to drink the words from her lips, and I hoped she’d say yes, but Gypsy would never admit her vulnerabilities so freely. She didn’t know there was beauty in surrender.

  I inched the hem of her tee shirt up over her head and tossed it aside. “I’m a man of my word. I’ve told you many times that I won’t hurt you.”

  Her hands curled into my shirt, clinging to me with a weariness I wanted to extinguish for her. “Don’t you think I’ve heard that one before?”

  I unbuttoned her shorts and removed those too. Standing in front of me, in the form of a beautiful woman, was a girl who never got to be. Frozen in her past, I needed a chisel to get inside her. It required delicate work. Layers upon layers of extrication. My skills were that of demolishment, but right now, I needed to be an artist.

  I coaxed a kiss from her mouth and led her to the table in the center of the room. “You are safe in my care,” I assured her.

  She bit her lip. “Is this what you need from me?”

  “I said I wouldn’t harm you,” I answered. “And I meant it.”

  Gypsy sighed, one foot planted firmly in front of her and one ready for the door. I would never know if it was her need to please me or her desire to make this work for her sister that drove her onto the table.

  She laid down, and I spread her long, chestnut locks out behind her, allowing her hair to swing freely from the edge. The room was silent, but I knew her thoughts were loud when I wandered toward the wall and retrieved what I was looking for. I unwound a piece of thread from the spool, twining it around my fingers and showing it to her as I brought it between my teeth. It tore easily, and that would be the thing that she relied on in this scenario. Gypsy didn’t do well with restraints, but I had something to prove to her.

  I wrapped a piece of thread around her wrists and tied the ends in a bow. “You can break them anytime you want.”

  The sequence was repeated on each ankle, securing them to the table legs. She didn’t fight me, but there was an obvious change in her breathing already. Tension inched its way into her body as I disappeared from her vision to retrieve a small knife.

  I didn’t try to hide the blade from her. That would only cause confusion. I wanted her to see it. I wanted her to process the chaotic thoughts in her mind and let me prove her wrong.

  The curved edge of the metal came to rest against her hip, and I met her eyes. “You are safe in my care.”

  Her lips parted when I dragged the blunt edge of the blade down between the band of her panties and her skin.

  “Repeat it back to me,” I commanded.

  Her voice trembled as she responded. “I am safe in your care.”

  “Good girl,” I praised her as the knife sliced through the fabric of her panties, splitting them in two.

  The action was repeated on the other side before I tossed away the lace I had no use for. Her thighs were sticky with arousal, and I could smell her sweetness from where I stood. I wanted to devour her already, but I’d waited seventeen years for a sin like her, so a few more minutes were nothing.

  I drew the knife up over the sensitive flesh of her belly, watching her skin break out in goose bumps as I settled on her bra. The blade sliced through the band with little effort, unwrapping two soft rounded breasts swollen with want and topped off with two cherry ripe nipples.

  “Fucking beautiful.” I leaned forward and slurped one of her breasts between my lips, working my jaw as my tongue lashed against the tender flesh.

  Gypsy made a noise that got caught in her throat, and I pulled away, leaving her wet and exposed.

  “Do you want more?”

  She nodded, small but certain.

  “I’m just getting started, pet. But you have to play along.”

  I left her again to retrieve a couple more items, and when I returned, the drunken want in her eyes clouded over with fear. I didn’t allow her time to let it build. Chopping it off at the root was the only way to handle this, and I wasted no time securing the blindfold around her eyes.

  Her body had gone stiff, her knuckles white. I bent to kiss her, murmuring against her lips. “You are safe in my care.”

  For a while, I kissed her leisurely, exploring her mouth with my own while my fingers played in her hair. She visibly relaxed, and the pulsing vein in her neck calmed.

  “One more thing,” I said, nestling the earplugs between my fingers. “You don’t ever need a safe word with me. Tell me to stop, and I stop. It’s that simple, baby girl.”

  Her head bobbed, and I inserted the plugs into her ears. Excitement thrummed through my veins and ignited a fire of renewed pressure inside me. Now it was time to play.

  I took a moment to light a candle before I knelt and examined the items in the mini fridge. The usual suspects filled the shelves. Chocolate sauce, whip cream, chilled oil. But in the freezer portion, a tray of ice cubes beckoned me. I grabbed one cube and the chocolate sauce, setting them on the tray beside her.

  Pinching the ice cube between my teeth, I leaned forward and waited for the melting droplets to splash against her breasts. She jerked at the first drop, and then gasped when I pressed the ice against her skin, swirling around the soft curve of her breast and over her nipple. I repeated the sequence in the opposite direction on her other breast before dropping the rest of the cube between the soft globes, leaving it there to melt.

  Gypsy’s hands came together within the confines of the thread, a position of prayer she probably wasn’t even aware of. My cock itched to get inside those hands. To fuck away her sweet innocence and mark her with my wickedness. But this wasn’t about me.

  When I checked on the wax, I tested it on my own skin first and determined it was ready. Easing a spoonful of the warm liquid from the jar, I teased it over her belly. The first drop forced a breath from her lips, and the second made her arch from the table. She’d never looked more beautiful than she did as she completely caved in and gave herself to me.r />
  I dribbled the liquid over her stomach and breasts, watching it harden, watching her come undone. Between drops, her muscles tensed, and her skin prickled with anticipation. That was when I set the jar aside and reached for the cold chocolate sauce instead. The first trickle of cool liquid against her thigh made her lips part, and a thrill of pleasure vibrated up her throat when I lapped up the mess with my tongue. I repeated the deed just above her clit, a small drop, a tiny taste.

  She whined, and I dived face first between her thighs, devouring her pussy like it was my salvation. Her hands broke apart, only to come down and thread through my hair, clutching and pulling as strangled sounds got caught in her throat.

  “Lucian,” she chanted delicately.

  I spread her legs farther apart, squeezing her ass in my palms as my tongue lapped at the moisture gifted just for me. She was wet, and she was broken, but right now, she was free. She came with the force of a hurricane, clinging to me as her body shook and shattered to pieces. It was too soon, and it wasn’t soon enough. I tasted her until she couldn’t bear another second, and then I unzipped my jeans and pulled out my cock.

  I broke the thread around her ankles, spreading her legs apart and resting her feet against the edge of the table. The curve of her ass balanced delicately against the metal, and she was completely exposed and open for me. A warm cavity to be used and worshipped as I desired.

  I squeezed her thighs between my palms and plunged my dick inside her. She cried out, and I groaned. “Hard,” I managed to get out. “I have to fuck you hard.”

  It was the only thing I could manage, and it wasn’t a lie. The buildup was too much. Seeing her bound and willing, giving herself to me, I needed to claim her. I fucked her rougher than I ever had, need rising inside me as my balls slapped against her come-soaked flesh. It didn’t matter that I had only fucked her mouth a little over an hour ago. The pressure was already crawling up the base of my cock, desperate to get out.

  “Fuck.” I rooted myself as deep as she could take me, and spasms rocked my body as I unloaded inside her.

  I stayed there for a while, our eyes locked on each other as our breaths returned to normal. When I pulled my cock out of her and tucked it away, I immediately felt the loss of her warmth. I knew she would be tired and ready to go home. I was exhausted too, but there was one more thing that nagged at me, and I couldn’t let it go.

  I grabbed a marker from a drawer, mentally capturing the image of her lying there, unable to move as my come dripped from her pussy. Now she knew that I never needed her pain, only her surrender. The power games were over, but the result would be the same.

  The drunken fog in my brain justified my behavior as the marker moved across the skin of her hip. I wasn’t thinking clearly, but when I stepped back to examine my handiwork, it only made sense. My only regret was that it could never be true.

  Written in black ink, stamped on her flesh, was the certainty that could never be.

  Mine.

  GYPSY STIRRED FROM HER SEAT, the wind curling strands of hair around her neck as she opened her heavy eyes and sat up to glance out the window. “Where are we?”

  I turned my attention back to the road ahead, amusement playing across my lips. After the flights and a ferry ride, it was understandable that she had jet lag. It was her first international trip, and I’d somewhat sprang it on her without warning.

  “We’re in Santorini,” I told her.

  “Greece?” she rasped.

  I snuck a glance at her, eyes tired but excited. She looked beautiful, as she always did, but her defenses were down right now, and there was value in that.

  “You told me you wanted to travel the world. I thought this would be a good place to start.”

  She offered me a sweet smile, the afternoon sun scattering over her skin like a kaleidoscope. We’d been traveling for far too long, and I was eager to get to the hotel where we would be uninterrupted for the next three days.

  “If this is where we start,” she said. “Where does it end?”

  “You’ll have to see,” I told her.

  Her eyes were soft as they wandered over my face, almost repentant. “What about work?”

  The trial was coming up in two months, and I had intentionally blocked off this time for that reason. Once the process started, I’d be seeing very little of Gypsy. It was important to me that we had this time together because I was all too aware that the stress of the trial could cause a rapid decline in my health.

  “I’ve been working a lot.” I reached across the seat and took her hand in mine. “I thought maybe you finally deserved that honeymoon.”

  The driver pulled to a stop in front of the hotel, and Gypsy couldn’t contain herself. She got out of the car before either of us could open the door, shielding her eyes with her hand as she peeked down at the sea. “This place is unreal,” she murmured. “It feels like we’re on top of the world.”

  I took in the moment, watching her with a reverence that I couldn’t hide anymore. I wanted to remember her just like this. Beautiful and happy, facing the world with the wonderment of a child that most adults often forgot. I hoped she’d never lose that. I hoped that even when I was gone from her life, she would find contentment in the little things.

  The driver removed our bags, and I took Gypsy’s hand in mine, following him down the narrow white stairs to the room.

  “Don’t we have to check in?” she asked.

  “No, I had them leave it unlocked. The keys are inside.”

  Her response got lost in her curiosity as her eyes roamed over the property. The hotel was a group of suites located in the village of Imerovigli where my research told me we could see some of the best sunsets the world over. Perched on top of the island with a direct view of the volcano and the Aegean Sea, I hoped that Gypsy and I might find solace here.

  We turned the corner, and Gypsy made a small sound of surprise as she looked around the space. “This is beautiful.”

  And it was. We were surrounded by a white wash of Cycladic houses and hotels with a spattering of blue church domes. But the suite itself was large and private with a veranda overlooking the water and a plunge pool that extended inside the room. Gypsy already had her eye on it before we even made it inside.

  I tipped the driver, and he left us on our own to explore the space. Gypsy walked around the room, touching the walls and examining the artwork before she found the bottle of champagne waiting for us on the table. She popped it with an easy familiarity and poured us each a glass.

  “You look like you’re in your natural habitat,” I teased.

  She handed me a glass, and then brought hers against mine. “Cheers to my husband.”

  I swallowed, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak. The sudden wave of reality washed over me, and my thoughts moved to a dark place without warning. Every day, these moments with her were dwindling. We had so little time together, and she had no idea. She was comfortable with me now. She had placed her trust in me. Possibly, she even had real feelings for me. I simultaneously wanted it and dreaded it.

  “Lucian?” She reached out and touched my hand. “Where did you go?”

  I offered her a stiff smile. “Nowhere. I was just trying to remember this moment. How beautiful you look right now.”

  Her cheeks pinkened, and she wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head against my beating heart. I wondered if she could sense it growing weaker, and I hoped she never did. If she knew how much it tormented me to think of leaving her alone, she would try to change it.

  “I already told you that you don’t need to remember,” she murmured against me. “I’m right here.”

  My answer was to kiss her, which was cheap. She deserved so much more from me. She deserved the truth, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I couldn’t risk that she would run away too early because selfishly, I wanted her in my life until the end.

  “Can we sit out on the veranda?” she asked as she toyed with the hem of my shirt. “I bet the s
unset is amazing here.”

  I led the way, and we found ourselves on a couple of deck chairs, side by side, the ocean breeze gently teasing our senses as we waited for the sun to fall from the sky. It was a comfortable silence, but I could tell Gypsy’s mind was turning, and soon enough, she gave her thoughts a voice.

  “Do you ever talk to your family?”

  “No,” I admitted. “Since I went to prison, things have been tense between us.”

  “That was a long time ago,” she said softly. “And you were exonerated, right? So why wouldn’t they want to talk to you?”

  “It was a long time ago.” Gypsy waited for me to explain, but I wasn’t proud to acknowledge that I’d never forgiven them. “They’ve tried to reach out several times, expressing their regret and confusion over the situation. Maybe I should have been a better man, but it’s been difficult to let go of my resentment. Especially when I consider that if they had listened to me, maybe Dawson would still be alive today.”

  Gypsy didn’t argue or judge me for what I said. She simply nodded. “I can’t say that I would feel any differently if I were you. Some things are just unforgiveable, but who knows. Maybe someday it will be different.”

  “Maybe,” I lied.

  She pointed her toe over at the plunge pool. “Want to test it out?”

  I couldn’t deny that. We had full privacy on this veranda, and with no prying eyes, I had some ideas about this pool before we even got here. I drained my glass of champagne and took her hand, helping her up from the chair.

  In the middle of the sunset, under a sky of burnt orange and vivid blues, I undressed the goddess of a wife I never thought I would have. I stripped her down until she was naked, and then she did the same to me. Her pupils dilated when she snuck a glance at the cock hanging down between my thighs. Already, blood was moving through my body and swelling uncomfortably as my eyes roamed over her full, soft breasts and curvy hips. I wanted her now, but Gypsy had other ideas as she dipped a toe into the water, testing it before she climbed inside and rested against the jet.

  She gestured for me to sit beside her, and together, we leaned over the edge and watched the sun sink into the ocean.