Cozy Mystery Bundle #1 (South Lane Detective Agency)

by John P. Logsdon

  “Also,” Mr. Naples added, “I wouldn't be so foolish as to leave a calling card, whether it be my name or not.”

  Zane’s head snapped up. “We never mentioned the calling card.”

  Mr. Naples snagged a copy of the morning’s newspaper from the rail next to his yacht.

  “Fortunately, young man, the press did.”

  “Oh.”

  “Is he new at this?” Mr. Naples asked Casey.

  “As you said, hasn't worked an honest day in his life.”

  “Oh, yeah? Then what do you call what I'm doing right now?”

  “Annoying me?” Casey replied with a shrug.

  “Well done,” Mr. Naples said, smiling.

  “Thank you. Can you tell me where you were on the night of April 7th?”

  “Goodness me. I could, but a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.”

  “Heh,” said Zane. “I do it all the time.”

  “He said ‘gentleman,’ Zane,” noted Casey.

  “Oh.”

  “Sorry to ask,” said Casey, “but any chance we could get a name for corroboration purposes?”

  “I can do you one better,” Mr. Naples replied and then called back toward the boat. “Dear? Could you come out here, please?”

  A lovely lady walked out from below deck. She had the look of a woman who had the life—a look that Casey had never seen in the mirror.

  “Yes, love?”

  “This fine private investigator and her secretary...”

  “What?” said Zane, shocked.

  “...are wondering where I was on the night of April 7th.”

  “Oh my,” said the lady while waving her hand as if working to cool herself down. “Let's just say that he was with me.”

  At first Casey was confused, and then understanding dawned on her. The look on Nick Naples’ wife was yet another look that Casey hadn’t seen in the mirror in a very long time.

  NOW WHAT?

  After a full day of investigations, they were headed back to the office. Casey felt confident, like they were close to solving the case. When she took a quick peek over at Zane, however, she noticed he appeared pensive.

  “Feels like we're getting nowhere on this,” Zane said as he studied his notes.

  “On the contrary,” said Casey, glancing over to see that the majority of his notes consisted of doodles and multiple lines of him practicing writing out his signature. “I'd say we're making pretty decent progress.”

  “Exactly, and... Wait, what?”

  “Deduction is a pretty important part of solving mysteries, Zane.”

  “I know that, but I don't see anything here.”

  “Let's check the facts,” she said, keeping her eyes on the road. “Mecredi claims he had nothing to do with any of the thefts. Kip Kastion claims to have been in Rome at the time of the April 7th theft; Stella Sazon claims to have been out at dinner; and Nick Naples claims to have been, well...”

  “Having fun-time with his wife,” offered Zane.

  “Classy.”

  “Really?”

  “No.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “So what does all of this tell us?” she asked as if she were speaking to a child.

  “What does all what tell us?”

  “What I've just reviewed, Zane.”

  “That all of them have alibis,” he replied derisively. “And you say I'm no good at mysteries.”

  “You're not,” she stated flatly. “What it tells us is that they're all lying.”

  “Huh?”

  They pulled up to a light and Casey turned to look at Zane.

  “They knew we were coming. They were prepared for us.”

  “Why do you say that? They could have expected the police to come questioning them.”

  “Why would they expect that? There's no reason for the police to question them. The police have already arrested their suspect.”

  “Hadn't thought of that,” mused Zane. He did that thing where he looked up to the left again. Casey figured if he kept it up, he’d have a sore neck. “They did seem pretty quick to reply, didn't they.”

  “And they didn't turn us away,” Casey pointed out. “Stella was a bit tough on us, but I think that was just gamesmanship.”

  “I think she prefers you to refer to her as Ms. Sazon.”

  The light turned and she stepped on the pedal.

  “The point is they should’ve all been unprepared for the meeting, but they weren't. They knew we were coming. Every one of them asked us if we were there to ask about Mecredi.”

  “Well, Naples saw it on my notepad.”

  “He knew,” she said. “I know he knew.”

  “How?”

  Casey felt a little pride at that moment. The truth was that what she was about to tell him was a fact. It seemed odd, and she’d be the first to admit that it had taken her years to build the skill, but she had it in droves now.

  “You get a sixth sense for these things after a while, Zane.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Seriously.”

  “Sure.”

  “Anyway, they all knew and that means that this is bigger than everyone thinks it is.”

  Zane cocked his head to the side. “I'm listening.”

  “I think it's time we met with Mr. Chalser,” Casey said, ignoring him as she turned the car to head downtown.

  “Mecredi's attorney?” Zane asked. “Or should I call him the Diamond Dude?”

  “It's the Diamond Defendant.”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “And, yes, that’s exactly who I mean.”

  First, though, she would put a call in to one of her friends down at District. If her theory was correct, she’d need some bodies to help wrap up this mystery.

  MEETING CHALSER

  Mr. Chalser glanced up from his desk, looking a bit surprised to see Casey and Zane as they walked into his office. He’d obviously not expected to see them so soon, and Casey was glad of that.

  The man was your standard uppity, better-than-thou type with the stereotypical, perfectly groomed gray hair, light tan, and Alexander Amosu pinstriped suit that fit flawlessly against his well-kept physique.

  “What's your report, Zane?” he said in his grumbly voice.

  “We've spoken with a few people who Mecredi gave us the names of, but nothing’s really turning up yet.”

  “That's too bad,” Chalser said, though Casey had the feeling that he didn’t really feel that way. “Can I get you a drink?”

  “Bourbon, if you have it.”

  “Only the best,” he said as he got up and made his way over to the bar. “Ms. Lane?”

  “Thank you, no.” She glanced over and noticed that there were plane tickets sitting on his hutch. “Going on a trip?” She did her best to make it sound non-accusatory.

  “After I get Mecredi off the hook,” Mr. Chalser replied as he poured the drinks, “I'll be heading to Europe for a much needed vacation.”

  “Should hit a round or two of golf with my father,” Zane suggested. “I'm sure he'd be glad to see you.”

  “Think he'll be in Rome?”

  “Last I checked,” replied Zane, “he was in Scotland.”

  “Maybe some other time, then.”

  “I hear that Rome is nice this time of year,” Casey said off-handedly.

  “It's always nice.”

  “Yeah, Casey. It's like perpetually nice.”

  Chalser sat back down and took a sip from his glass.

  “Well, if you have no real updates for me, why are you here?”

  At that moment the door to his office opened. Kip Kastion, Stella Sazon, Nick Naples, and a few police officers entered the room.

  Mr. Chalser immediately set his gaze on Casey.

  THE BREAKDOWN

  “What’s the meaning of this?” Chalser said while slowly lowering his drink.

  “Yeah,” Zane agreed, “what are they doing here?”

  “I had a hunch that something wonky was going on so I put a call in to
one of my detective friends down at the station and asked him to look into a few things for me.”

  “And you didn't tell me about it?”

  “You really do catch on fast sometimes, Zane,” Casey said as she stared at him. “When we arrived at the offices here, you had to go and freshen up. That gave me plenty of time to contact Detective Gibbons and get the ball rolling.” She sniffed. “And then you spent the next thirty minutes chatting up the security guard, which gave the good detective plenty of time to look into things.”

  “I was wondering why you weren’t interrupting me,” said Zane.

  “And for the last hour you must have lined up six dates while talking to nearly every woman that we passed in this building as we made our way up to Mr. Chalser’s office.”

  Zane looked around at all the stunned faces. “What? It was a slow day for me.”

  “Anyway, that gave Detective Gibbons and his crew enough of a chance to pick up everyone and meet us down here.”

  “I don't have time for games, young lady,” Chalser said warningly. “What’s going on here?”

  “I'll get straight to it, Mr. Chalser,” she said with a nod. “When we met with Miles Mecredi, he said that you had given him three names to check out. These three people were known jewel thieves who happen to live in the area.”

  “Your point?”

  “My point is that they all expected my arrival—each one of them, and that was suspicious. They were all very helpful, too, except for Stella...”

  “Ms. Sazon,” both Ms. Sazon and Zane said in unison.

  “...She was a little gruff, but then offered to take care of our lunch, which was odd indeed.”

  “I don't see the relevance,” said Chalser.

  “Mr. Kastion said that he had a nice selfie of a sapphire that he'd stolen in Rome,” Casey pressed on. “The problem was that he'd posted this on his public Facebook page. It turns out that while he had stolen the sapphire, he hadn't done it in Rome. He stole it here and brought it to Rome.”

  Mr. Chalser leaned forward hopefully. “So he's the thief?”

  “Hey now,” Kastion said in a warning tone.

  “Mr. Naples claimed to have been with his wife on the night of the seventh,” Casey continued, “which I believe to be true.”

  “Then why is he here?”

  “Because he made a fatal mistake.”

  “I did?” said Mr. Naples.

  “Sorry, but yes,” she said almost sadly. She had liked the man, after all. “You brought your wife up to corroborate your story, which she did, but unfortunately she happened to be wearing a ring that was remarkably similar to the emerald that was stolen in the name of Mr. Mecredi.”

  “Ah, yes,” said Mr. Naples with a chuckle. “Dreadful mistake, that. We’d run the heist earlier though, so it wasn’t technically a lie.”

  “Do you ever shut up?” asked Kastion.

  “You shut up,” Mr. Naples snapped before sighing. “They always say to hide things in plain sight because nobody looks there,” he added absently. “So much for that.”

  “Idiot,” Kastion said.

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “Next up was Ms. Sazon,” Casey said, turning toward the woman.

  “The gemstone appraisal thing, right?” Zane said.

  “Not bad, Zane, but not entirely the reason, no.”

  “What, then?”

  “It was her business card,” Casey said, pulling it out from her pocket.

  Ms. Sazon frowned. “My business card?”

  “It was the exact kind left at each of the scenes.”

  “I'm sure a lot of people have this design,” Ms. Sazon said with grunt.

  “That’s likely true, but you also have a tendency of saying Mr. Mecredi’s name incorrectly. You used an extra ‘r’ every time.”

  “Would you believe that’s because I have an accent?” Ms. Sazon said hopefully.

  “Sorry, no.”

  Ms. Sazon slumped. “I can't believe I'm getting busted because of one lousy ‘r.’”

  “Well,” Mr. Chalser said, picking up his glass again, “I have to admit that you've done a bang-up job on this. Seems that Mr. Mecredi will be out of prison in no time.”

  “No so fast, Chalser,” Casey said.

  “That's Mr. Chalser to you,” he replied heatedly.

  Zane laughed. “You really have a way with getting on a person's good side, don't you?”

  “Can it, Zane.”

  “That's Mr. Wolfe to you.”

  “Mr. Chalser,” Casey said, “I have reason to believe that you're the real mastermind here.”

  Mr. Chalser bridled at the accusation. He was clearly not a man who was used to be talked to in this way. Pretty soon, though, he would be a man who was suffering through a lot of things he was not used to.

  “You're walking on thin ice, young lady,” he said, his voice betraying his physical resolve.

  “Am I?” she said with a raised eyebrow. “Let's look at the facts.”

  Zane groaned. “I hate it when she says that. Reminds me of when she broke up with me in college. Hopefully the list of facts she's pinning against you is shorter, though. Took two hours for our breakup to finish. She can be pretty brutal.”

  “Zane,” said Casey, enunciating each word clearly, “if you take your bottom lip and bring it up to your top lip and focus on keeping them pressed firmly to each other, sounds will stop coming out.”

  “See what I mean?” said Zane.

  “Now, the first thing that struck me was that Mr. Mecredi said that the names of these three were provided to him by you.”

  “I don’t see the problem,” Mr. Chalser said, crossing his arms. “He said that he had enemies in the area, so I gave him a list of people I've defended before.”

  “Could be as simple as that, but I doubt it.” She put her hands behind her back and began to pace in front of the attorney’s large desk. “The next issue was how, as I said before, they were all prepared to see me.”

  “Us,” corrected Zane.

  “To me, it was clear that they had been tipped off, and there was only one person who could have done that.” She stopped and put her hands on his desk, eying him directly. “The same person who dropped the names to Mr. Mecredi in the first place.”

  “This is all hearsay,” Chalser said with a laugh.

  Casey pushed back away from the desk and resumed her pacing.

  “Next up was the fact that you'd recently been written up as the Diamond Defendant in the local newspaper. In that interview, you hinted that you were about ready to retire to Europe. And, as you said earlier about those tickets, you're planning a trip there after Mecredi's trial.”

  “How is that related to this?” asked Chalser.

  “Let me give you the full picture, Mr. Chalser,” Casey said, knowing that she had the man cornered. “I think you hired these three thieves to steal the four gems. Your plan was to frame it on Mecredi because the police have been trying to pin him down for a long time.”

  “Interesting,” said Zane.

  “You'd fail in your attempt to defend Mecredi, of course,” she continued, “probably turning up some quiet evidence for the prosecution so that they could put him away for a long time.”

  “Why the hell would I want to do that?” Mr. Chalser said, though it was clear that his heart wasn’t in it.

  “Because with him away, Mr. Chalser, the missing gems would no longer be investigated.” She stopped again and crossed her arms at him. “All four of you would walk away without a hitch.”

  “I'm confused,” said Zane. “Who stole the things?”

  “Come on, Zane,” Casey said. “You've got to try harder.”

  Zane moaned. “Flashbacks of college again.”

  “Mr. Kastion and Mr. Naples did the actual thieving,” explained Casey, “which was all planned out by Ms. Sazon, and the entire thing was overseen by Mr. Chalser.”

  The room was silent for a moment as Casey let it all sink in. It wasn’t
common that she got to play the role of P.I. this heavily. In fact, this was the first time, and she begrudgingly had to admit that were it not for Zane, it would probably never have happened.

  “You can't prove any of this,” said Mr. Chalser firmly. “It's all conjecture, and I'll have your investigator's license for this.”

  “There's one more nail in the coffin, Mr. Chalser,” Casey said confidently.

  “What is it?” asked Zane.

  “His name,” she said, putting her hands back on the attorney’s desk while smiling one of those got-ya smiles.

  “What?” said Zane?

  “Huh?” agreed Kastion.

  “Pardon?” asked Mr. Naples.

  “Eh?” wondered Ms. Sazon.

  Chalser bolted up from his chair. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Your name,” Casey repeated, not flinching in the slightest. “Charles Chalser. Alliteration. Just like all criminals.”

  “Damn,” Chalser said as he slid back into his chair.

  “Amazing,” Zane said with a look of awe.

  Casey couldn’t help but feel proud. “Thank you, Zane.”

  “Honestly,” Zane said, adjusting his collar. “I'm kind of turned on right about now.”

  “Ew,” Casey said, grimacing.

  “So I guess we won't be going out Friday night, eh, big boy?” asked Ms. Sazon.

  “Looks like no,” answered Zane.

  “Will you wait for me?” the lady asked. “I'll only be in prison for a few years.”

  “Probably not,” Zane said without hesitation. “Best of luck, though.”

  “Take them away, boys,” Casey announced. Then she looked up at Detective Gibbons, who was giving her the watch-it-lady look. “Erm… please?”

  CASE CLOSED

  The case was solved.

  Casey and Zane were back in the South Lane Detective Agency office, sitting with a very relieved Miles Mecredi.

  “You saved my hide, all right,” Mecredi said. “I'm impressed. I never would have thought that Chalser would do something like this.”

  “You know how it is with rich people,” Casey said, unable to resist the dig.

  “Hey,” said Zane.

  “I promised I'd make it worth your while if you got me off the hook. How does twenty-five thousand sound?”