‘Thank you, Harding. I’ll let you know how I get on. First, I need to find a way of waylaying her so I can speak to her alone.’
How, he had no idea.
‘I would like a word with you, Midori, if you please? In private.’
Uncle Marston’s voice was pleasant enough as he ushered her into his small study, and the request perfectly reasonable. But Midori still had the feeling she wasn’t going to enjoy the ensuing conversation. A week had passed since her arrival in the Marston household, and she knew she’d been under constant scrutiny. It would seem the time had come for the verdict.
‘Do take a seat.’
Midori sat down on the high-backed chair opposite her uncle’s, folding her hands in her lap and assuming a calm expression. She tried not to fidget, but it was almost impossible, since the woollen bodice and petticoat were making her skin itch unbearably, despite the linen shift underneath. She wondered how long it would take before her skin became used to the scratchy material. Her aunt said she wasn’t allowed to wear silk, so her Amsterdam purchases had been swapped for various lengths of wool and linen.
There was a long pause as her uncle searched for the right words. He steepled his fingers together, holding the tips against the underside of his chin. For a while he focused on some point beyond her left shoulder, before fixing her with his calm gaze.
‘My dear, I’ve been observing you for a few days and I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but it appears to me you don’t quite know how to go on.’
‘Oh? In what way, Uncle? I have tried my best to follow my aunts’ instructions. I’m learning to make bread, to sew clothes and even to spin wool, although I’m afraid it will take me a while to master that.’ Midori knew he wasn’t talking about her domestic skills, which probably didn’t interest him, but she felt it was better to pretend ignorance. He cut her short.
‘Yes, yes, I’m sure you’re making excellent progress with such things, and very commendable it is, too. I was rather thinking of your devotions. As you are under my guidance, I would like, if I may, to offer you some instruction in matters of faith.’
Midori couldn’t say his offer was entirely unexpected. Although she’d tried her best to join in the daily prayers and hymn singing, the theological discussions had been beyond her and she often found her mind drifting. Obviously, her uncle had noticed, despite the fact that she’d tried her best to hide her inattention.
‘It’s very kind of you, but … would you be very upset if I decline? Captain … er, Nicholas and I had some theological discussions during our journey, but I don’t yet feel ready to embrace Christianity fully. I’m sorry.’ She hung her head, wondering if he would explode with rage and banish her from the house forever. She had thought for a while that she could adapt to a new faith, but when it came down to it, she found it impossible. I have to be true to myself!
‘I understand. It must be vastly different to the beliefs you’ve grown up with?’
Midori looked up. ‘Indeed, yes. And I would feel as though I’m betraying my father. It’s … this is difficult for me.’
‘Of course, I realise that,’ her uncle said in a milder tone of voice. ‘Would you like to learn more or are you completely set against it? I’d like the opportunity to change your mind, if at all possible, but I don’t want to force you in any way.’
Midori was very relieved to hear that. ‘I would be happy to listen to you, Uncle,’ she said. After all, what harm could it do?
‘Excellent.’ He smiled at her.
‘Thank you for being so understanding and for allowing me to stay here with you. I didn’t know where else to go and Mother said—’
‘You did the right thing. No matter what, we are your family and we’re very glad to have you. Think no more about it. Now, why don’t you tell me what you and Nicholas talked about, then we can continue from there?’
‘He made me read passages from the Bible and then he explained them to me.’
‘Did he really?’ Uncle Marston looked astonished. ‘Well, I never! So his father didn’t entirely waste his breath on him then …’ He shook his head. ‘Anyway, our Bible is in the parlour and you may read it there as often as you wish. It is kept in a box and I trust you will handle it with care.’
‘Yes, of course. Will you tell me which passages to read, please?’
He nodded. ‘I’ll try to choose suitable ones for you. I’d like you to learn first about the various sins and temptations that are set before us daily. The world is an immoral place, and whatever your beliefs, I must insist you follow mine and your aunts’ moral guidance, agreed? There are certain things unmarried young women simply mustn’t do. This is not just to do with Christianity, but the code of conduct of English society as a whole, you understand?’
‘I promise I’ll try my best.’
He continued on in this vein for a while, and Midori listened dutifully. Uncle Marston had treated her with nothing but kindness so far and it wasn’t his fault they were miles apart culturally. She was determined to do her best to please him.
‘Now don’t forget, you may come to me at any time with any problems or questions you may have.’
‘Thank you, Uncle.’
Just before leaving the room, she remembered something. ‘Uncle Marston, there is something which has been puzzling me all week.’
‘Oh, yes?’
‘Did Aunt Hesketh marry the man originally intended for my mother, the one she left England to escape from? I was told my aunt was betrothed to another at that time.’
Her uncle’s expression turned guarded. ‘She did marry Ezekiel Hesketh, yes. She and her former fiancé found they weren’t suited to each other and the arrangement came to an end. It’s not a subject we normally discuss and it is all in the past.’
‘I see. Well, thank you. You’ve been very kind.’
Midori fled before she could make any more faux pas.
Back in the small chamber she shared with Temperance, Midori sank to her knees in front of the minute fireplace. Above it was a wooden shelf, its underside blackened with soot. On this shelf she had placed the two urns containing the ashes of her parents. No one had noticed they were anything other than ornaments, and as they were very plain she hadn’t been asked to remove them. A piece of bread and a small mug of cider stood casually between them, as if they’d been left there by mistake. They were Midori’s meagre offerings to her ancestors.
She clapped her hands twice and began to pray quietly to her parents’ spirits. ‘Please help me to fit in here and to learn about their beliefs. Please also intercede for me with our ancestors and make them understand that this is something I’m doing out of necessity. I haven’t forgotten your teachings, dearest Father, and never shall. Forgive me for not bringing you offerings every day, but I dare not at present. No one here would understand. And Mother – I know it was your wish that I should come here, so please guide me now so I don’t make any more mistakes. I can feel your presence, you are always in my thoughts. Help me, please, I beg you.’
A slight draught stirred up the dust on the floor next to the fireplace, and Midori took this as a good sign. With a lighter heart she bowed once more and whispered, ‘Thank you.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘Mother and I are going to buy provisions. Do you want to come with us, Midori?’ Temperance had come into the parlour where Aunt Hesketh, with ill-concealed impatience, was attempting to teach Midori how to darn sheets. It was a boring task and something she’d never had to do before. At Castle Shiroi such things were done by servants.
‘Oh, yes please.’ Midori stood up, then belatedly looked to her aunt for permission.
Aunt Hesketh nodded. ‘Yes, go. We’re not making much progress here in any case.’ That wasn’t quite true, but Midori was too pleased to be leaving and didn’t argue.
As the three
of them set off, the August sun beat down on them and the air was a shimmering haze through which distant objects appeared unreal. Many of the people they met had faces that had turned an unbecoming shade of pink, and as they picked their way through the personal waste and rubbish which littered the streets, the smell was overpowering. Midori was becoming used to the filth now, although the occasional whiff of something particularly malodorous would sometimes make her gag. She was grateful they weren’t headed towards the harbour, though. She’d been there the previous day with Aunt Marston and the stench of the thousands of fish being unloaded and dealt with around the Barbican and Fisherman’s Steps was unbelievable.
The heat wouldn’t normally have bothered her either, but it made the woollen bodice more itchy. She would have infinitely preferred a cool silk kimono, but that was out of the question.
‘Your, er, robes are lovely, my dear,’ Aunt Marston had said kindly, ‘but I’m afraid they really won’t do here. You want to be a credit to your uncle, don’t you?’ And Midori did, so she packed away her Japanese clothing, placing some camphor in between the layers of material to deter moths.
‘This way.’ Aunt Marston steered a path towards the Guildhall, an imposing two-storey edifice which looked to have been there for some time. One side of it was solid, while on the other side the second floor was supported by a row of arches forming a cavernous open-air hall. In the welcome shade below, market traders were selling their wares, having brought them either in carts, barrels or baskets, and Midori’s relations set course for a farmer whose vegetables looked to be of good quality.
As she passed one of the pillars an arm shot out and grabbed Midori’s, pulling her out of sight. She started to try and free herself, but when she saw who her captor was, she stopped.
‘Nico, what are you doing? Let go of me.’ She shook him off and he let her, but looked as though he was ready to take hold of her arm again if she should decide to bolt.
‘I need to speak to you and I can’t get you alone for a second in that mausoleum of a house,’ he grumbled, frustration clearly showing in his eyes. He’d come to dinner several times, but Midori had so far avoided being on her own with him. He held up a hand now to forestall any protest she might make. ‘I know you’re angry with me, but please, just hear me out. It’s important.’
Midori debated with herself, but curiosity won. ‘Very well, but hurry or they’ll miss me.’
He ushered her out of sight, behind the canvas of a market stall where no one could see them. ‘Listen, there are two things I must tell you. The first is that there seems to be a civil war brewing here in England, as well. I don’t know if it will affect Plymouth, but it might.’ He explained what he’d overheard at the inn.
‘That sounds like mere rumours to me,’ Midori protested.
‘Harding doesn’t think so, but I admit it’s difficult to tell and it may just be scaremongering.’
‘Well, if Plymouth is threatened, I’ll just have to help defend our clan.’
Nico shook his head at her. ‘You can’t fight here, you’re a woman.’
‘So? You know I’m skilled with a sword and—’
‘Midori, I told you, women are not allowed to do things like that in Europe. They stay at home and help look after the household and children. For heaven’s sake, don’t tell anyone you’ve been trained in the arts of war. And I hope you’ve hidden your swords well out of sight?’
Midori frowned at him. ‘Yes, but if we’re threatened, do you expect me to just watch my family be slaughtered?’
‘No, of course not. All I’m saying is it probably won’t come to that, so it’s best you keep quiet about your abilities. If you really were threatened, of course you must do what you can.’
‘Very well, if you insist. And what was the other matter you wanted to tell me?’
‘It’s about the Puritans.’
‘The what?’
Nico turned away from her and paced back and forth. ‘It’s difficult to explain.’ He took a deep breath. ‘You remember I told you there were different types of Christians?’ Midori nodded. ‘Well, some of these groups here in England, and in Holland, too, for that matter, take their Christianity very seriously indeed. They call themselves “godly” or “God’s children” and live strictly according to the rules laid down in the Bible. They … oh, how can I explain it to you? They’re simply more intensely Christian than anyone else, almost to the point of obsession. They pray morning, noon and night, read their Bible all the time, discuss theological matters endlessly, and so on. Do you follow me?’
‘Yes, but how does that affect me?’
‘Because I think Jacob is a Puritan. You must have noticed his sombre clothes and all that praying before dinner? He never stops.’
‘Oh, wasn’t he like that before?’
‘No, not to that extreme. Midori, I can’t leave you here with them. You’ll never fit in.’
‘It’s not a problem. I’ve told him I have different beliefs and he’s accepted that. He admitted he’d like to change my mind, but although I’ll let him try, he won’t. But please don’t tell him that.’
‘What do you take me for? Of course I won’t tell him anything of the sort. But really, he’s probably only saying that to lure you in. Before you know it, he’ll force you to be baptised or else.’
‘No, he won’t. He’s a kind man and he said I was welcome to stay no matter what.’
‘Rubbish.’
Midori glared at him. ‘Well, what do you suggest I do instead? It’s not as if I can go back to Japan. To tell you the truth, I’m so relieved my uncle is even still alive, I’m prepared to put up with anything. At least now I have a home again, a clan to belong to.’
‘But it won’t be a home, don’t you see? They won’t accept you as you are. You’ll have to change, much more than I prepared you for. It won’t do.’
‘I’ll stand my ground.’
Nico shook his head. ‘I doubt they’ll tolerate a non-Puritan in their household for very long, although they will of course expect to have to teach you at first.’
She raised her chin. ‘They can’t force me and anyway, you’re wrong. I don’t believe they will.’
‘Are you sure you want to stay here? There is an alternative, you know.’
‘And what is that?’
He hesitated, as if it was a struggle to utter the words, then said, ‘Marry me and go back to Amsterdam.’
Nico knew it wasn’t the most romantic of proposals, but it seemed like the right thing to do. He’d never thought he would say those words to anyone, but now he had and it hadn’t been as difficult as he’d imagined. He just couldn’t see Midori ever fitting in here and he felt responsible for her predicament. He shouldn’t have brought her, so it was up to him to find a solution.
‘What? You’re jesting.’ Midori stared at him while her eyebrows came down in a frown.
He shook his head. ‘No. You’d fit in better in Amsterdam. There are other foreigners there, one more won’t make a difference. You must have noticed, right?’
She glared at him and put her hands on her hips. ‘And what makes you think I’d want to marry you? You lied to me for nine months. I didn’t even know your real name!’
‘Yes, you did, my name is Nicholas Noordholt. I changed it when I became a Dutch citizen. I used to be known as Nicholas Hesketh, but since old Ezekiel more or less disowned me in his will, I didn’t see why I should keep his name. I owed him nothing.’
There was no let-up in her scowl and Nico could tell she was far from convinced, so he tried to explain it better. ‘Look, I left Plymouth because no one wanted me around. My stepmother did nothing when the old curmudgeon beat me twice as much as any of the others. I wasn’t her son, so why should she stand up for me? He’d only have beaten her, too. When he died, he left me nothing and the estate was
divided between the rest of the children. Kate didn’t get anything, either, and went to live with her brother, leaving me to fend for myself. Then Jacob made it clear I wasn’t to darken his door, although to be fair, he had his reasons, as he explained to me the other day. Either way, I left to make a new life for myself, determined never to come back. Then I met you …’
‘Fate was obviously unkind to you that day,’ she said, her tone dripping sarcasm. ‘I’m sorry you had to return here because of me.’
Nico stopped his pacing and stepped close to her. ‘I’m sure fate had a reason for bringing us together and I admit I should have told you who I was as soon as I realised our connection. I apologise for that. But there was a spark between us, right from the start, wasn’t there? You felt it, too. And I was fighting against it, first because I’d promised your brother I’d protect you and later because I knew deep down it would make me come here. To a place I’d vowed never to set foot in again.’
She looked away. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Now who’s lying?’ he asked, softly. He put his hands out to cup her face, turning it towards him, then he bent to kiss her, gently at first, memorising the feel of her mouth, the taste of her. When she made a noise – perhaps of protest, although she didn’t push him away – he deepened the kiss and put his arms around her to pull her hard against his chest. It felt so right. She fit perfectly, and he wanted to keep her there so she’d be safe. Perhaps marriage wouldn’t be as bad as he’d always imagined. Not with Midori as his wife.
She reciprocated for a while, her tongue sparring with his, but then she suddenly tore out of his grasp and put some distance between them.
‘No,’ she said, holding out a hand to stop him from coming closer. ‘Leave me alone. I’m not marrying a man I can’t trust; a man without honour.’
‘What? I have more honour than anyone here.’ Nico tried to calm his breathing, which was as erratic as his heartbeat. ‘And you can trust me with your life. Didn’t I prove that to you in Batavia?’
The Gilded Fan (Choc Lit) Page 21