Surrender to Love

by Adrianne Byrd

  No answers came to what she perceived as impossible questions. She didn’t even know how she was going to pay for the repairs on her car.

  She didn’t want to take the risk of using any of the credit or bank cards that were in her purse. She knew those things could easily be traced.

  A light breeze rustled the leaves of the surrounding trees, which was perhaps why she didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.

  “Julia?”

  She jumped to her feet with her heart lodged somewhere in her throat.

  Carson stepped from out of the shadows. His handsome dark features had twisted into a look of concern. “Julia, are you all right?”

  Nodding, she slapped a hand against her chest. “You frightened me,” she said, swallowing.

  He gave her a long, evaluating look. “I heard you crying.”

  “I-I’m fine.” She quickly dried her tears with the palms of her hands.

  He watched her in silence.

  “Really,” she assured him, sniffling. “I’m fine. I just came out here to have some time alone.”

  Carson moved closer. “If it’s about the car—”

  “No,” she nearly shouted.

  The rest of the sentence died in his throat. He frowned at her.

  “It’s okay,” she said, sliding her hands into the pockets of her pants. “I really appreciate all that you’re doing for us. It’s just been a hard couple of days. That’s all.”

  “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “I could really use some time alone,” she said honestly. She needed to think. Surely if she put her mind to it, she would come up with a plan for how she and her daughter were to live the rest of their lives.

  He nodded, but disappointment flickered across his face.

  “And thank you for taking care of Robin for me today. She obviously had a good time with you and your daughter.”

  “She’s a joy to be around. I’m halfway hoping that she’ll be a good influence on Bobbi for the short time that you’re here.”

  “Oh?”

  “It’s not that Bobbi is any trouble, it’s just that she’s…she’s…” Carson scratched his head as he struggled for the right words.

  Julia smiled despite herself. “There’s no need to explain. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl.”

  He laughed. “She is. Every day she reminds me more of her mother. She was quite the tomboy when she was Bobbi’s age as well.”

  “But she eventually grew out of it?”

  “No.” His laughter deepened. “Everything was always a competition between us. I mean that in a good way. The sad truth of the matter was that Karen pretty much beat me in everything. That included fixing cars.”

  “She sounds like quite a character.”

  His laughter died as his smile waned a bit. “She was.”

  Sadness crept over his chiseled features.

  Gone was Julia’s desire to be left alone. She was suddenly assuaged by a growing feeling that this gentle giant needed someone to talk to. “Tell me about her.”

  His usual smile reappeared, this time broader, and she swore his eyes shimmered with a thin sheen. “Karen was the love of my life,” he began with conviction. “She was the reason that I rose every morning. The reason for everything.” He paused, then moved over to the bench and sat down.

  Julia did likewise.

  He looked around the garden as if lost in memory. “Karen created this garden. She tended to each flower with skill and love. I feel that love whenever I visit this place.” He cast a casual glance toward Julia. “Does that sound crazy?”

  “Not at all.”

  He nodded and pulled his gaze back to the surrounding flowers. “She always had a way with making things grow. Of course, everything that I touched had a way of turning brown and shriveling up.” He forced a laugh.

  Julia smiled.

  “You know, they say that it’s best to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I don’t know if I agree with that.” He paused. “What about you?”

  Julia blinked, caught off guard by the question. “I—I don’t know.”

  “Enough about me pining over my deceased wife. Tell me something about you and your husband.”

  She blinked. “What do you mean?”

  Carson shrugged. “I don’t know. Are you two close?”

  Uncomfortable with how the conversation had put her on the spot, she searched her brain for a way out of the question, but an answer tumbled from her lips before she had a chance to stop it. “Once.”

  His brows arched inquiringly, but when she didn’t continue, he tried to smooth things over. “I had no right to pry.”

  “No more than I did,” she answered honestly. “So let’s just call it even.”

  For a brief moment they held each other’s gazes before allowing them to fall.

  “Deal. Let’s shake on it.” He offered his hand.

  She slid her hand into his large but surprisingly soft one.

  “So.” He sighed dramatically. “What’s a safe subject?” he asked, gazing up at the stars.

  Julia followed his lead and noticed for the first time that they sat beneath a full moon. “Why do we have to talk about anything? We can just sit here and enjoy the stars.”

  “Sounds good to me.” His gaze danced around the sky. “It’s a beautiful night.”

  “That it is,” she agreed. “You know, I could never make out the constellations. They always look like a cluster of white dots.”

  “Let’s see if I can help you out.” Carson moved closer and pointed at the sky. “Now, right there is the Big Dipper. Can you see it?”

  She squinted and tried to follow the drawing he made with his finger. “N-no.”

  “Are you sure?” He leaned closer.

  Julia caught the faint scent of his cologne and thought the light musk suited him. Then just beyond the tip of his finger, an image suddenly materialized. “Wait. I think I see it,” she marveled.

  “And over there is Orion, the Hunter. It’s the most conspicuous constellation. The Betelgeuse star is easily distinguishable by its reddish color.”

  Julia again followed his direction and her eyes widened in surprise. “Why couldn’t I ever see those before? They look so obvious now.”

  “I felt the same way before Karen showed me. Now I know all eighty-eight by heart.”

  She heard the longing in his voice. “How long has it been?” she couldn’t help asking.

  “It feels like a lifetime ago, but in reality it’s been a little over three years.”

  The moonlight caused his eyes to shimmer, and Julia fought the urge to reach out to his pain-stricken face. This man loved his wife with his whole being, and the power of that love held her in thrall. Had she ever experienced that kind of love?

  After two marriages, it shamed her to admit that she hadn’t. Yes, she had loved Kevin, Robin’s father, once upon a time, but it was nothing even close to what she was witnessing. Kevin had come at a time in her life when she thought she was supposed to be married. She’d just finished medical school and all her friends were marrying. It seemed like the right thing to do.

  But within a year, she came home to a note from Kevin saying that he could no longer be third in her life behind Robin and her career, and he just left—simple as that.

  She couldn’t lie and say that there was no pain involved. There was plenty of that, but she wasn’t hurt as much as she was embarrassed. Robin had been the best thing that had resulted from the marriage. For that, she could never regret their union.

  Then there was David.

  Smooth-talking David had, at least in the beginning, made her feel all the things that Kevin hadn’t, but whether she had simply felt loved or if she had loved him was something that she still questioned.

  “You’re not on your way to see your husband, are you?”

  Julia jerked at the unexpected question. So lost was she in her own private thoughts that she had not noticed his intense gaze on her.
How long had he been studying her?

  He smiled. “I know we agreed not to pry, but…you’re not, are you?”

  Her heart pounded inside of her ears, but again there was something in his eyes that assured her that she could trust him.

  “No,” she admitted, shaking her head and refusing to tell him the whole truth.

  “Are you running from him?”

  She forced back the threat of tears and shook her head. She expected him to ask more questions, but he didn’t. The night’s silence cloaked them as their eyes met again.

  To Carson, the moonlight made Julia look even more beautiful, if that was possible—and maybe fragile. Yes, fragile described her right now. She was running from something. He was willing to bet the farm on that. He’d felt a strong urge to protect her, and a few moments ago he had been overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her. The emotion confused him.

  Just moments ago he was thinking of Karen, and now he wanted to kiss another woman.

  He closed his eyes in shame.

  “Maybe I should head back in,” he said, standing. “I have a full day tomorrow,” he offered as an explanation.

  Julia blinked at his abruptness. The spell had been broken. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

  He nodded, hesitated, then turned toward the house.

  “Thanks again.” Her words hit his back.

  He stopped.

  “I enjoyed your company tonight,” she added, surprised that she hadn’t really wanted him to go.

  “Me, too,” he said, then continued toward the house.

  She watched him until he faded from view, and breathed a shaky sigh of relief. In the future, it would be in her best interest to avoid being alone with Carson Webber, but she had a strange feeling that was easier said than done.

  Chapter 10

  Julia tossed and turned during her restless sleep. In her dream, she could see the gun shop she’d visited just days before David’s death….

  She flinched when she opened the door and a bell rang above her head. She hadn’t known what to expect, but she was surprised by the store’s immaculate order.

  “May I help you, ma’am?” A man suddenly appeared from the back.

  There was nothing spectacular about the man’s appearance; no tattoos or strange body piercings, as Hollywood always portrayed the owners of such shops. In fact, the man smiling at her looked like the average blue-collar worker, with a name tag that read Henry.

  She allowed herself to relax a bit.

  “I-I’m interested in purchasing a weapon.”

  It was probably her nervousness that caused the man to eye her curiously. She suffered through his assessing silence, praying that he wouldn’t turn her away or, worse, call the police.

  “Do you have a preference of what you’d like to see?”

  Julia’s mind drew a blank. She had no idea what she wanted or what she should look for in a weapon. Before last week, she’d never dreamed that she would even consider purchasing a gun.

  “I’m open for suggestions.” She moved closer to the counter with a nervous smile. “I’m sort of new at this.”

  “I figured as much,” he said with a shrug.

  She read understanding and even compassion in his eyes. Had he assumed that she was here after being victimized in some way or another? She didn’t know. It was just as likely that he treated all his customers this way.

  He nodded with approval, then reached beneath the counter and withdrew an application. “Law requires a ten-day waiting period on your application before I can actually sell you a gun.”

  She was familiar with the Brady Law. “I know.”

  The man’s face exploded into a smile. “Good. Now let’s see about finding you a gun.”

  “I need something that’s light, but powerful.”

  “Ahhh.” His eyes lit while he walked to the far end of the counter. “How about a Smith and Wesson revolver?”

  Julia peered down into the glass counter as Henry pulled out a silver key to unlock the backside of the case. The small gun looked more like a toy than a weapon.

  “Here, feel it.”

  He handed her the gun. She was instantly surprised by its light weight.

  “It’s a .22 caliber and weighs about eleven ounces,” he informed her, and watched how she clumsily handled the small piece.

  Julia shook her head, not quite sure what she didn’t like about the piece.

  “You don’t like it. No problem, no problem.” He returned the gun to its rightful place, then instructed her to follow him to another section of the counter. “What about a Beretta Cougar F .357? Of course, it’s a little heavier than the revolver, and it packs a stronger punch.”

  This time when she handled the weapon, a surge of power unlike anything she had ever known seized her. She was intrigued and frightened by it.

  He regarded her with interest. “Have you ever fired a gun before?”

  “No,” she answered honestly. “But I’m a fast learner.”

  Julia forced her eyes open, wishing she could banish the memory. She hugged the pillow and could feel where her tears had dampened the material. The events of the past weeks would undoubtedly be the walls of her private hell for years to come. If it was the price she had to pay to protect herself and Robin, then she knew she would have to get used to the tears.

  Policemen swarmed the home of Dr. Julia Kelley. Yellow tape instantly appeared as members from the crime lab took pictures of everything.

  Lt. Thomas Jackson of the Atlanta Police Department was the officer in charge. Solemnly he approached a trembling Portia Jennings, who sat in disbelief on the staircase.

  “Can I get you anything?” he offered in what he deemed as his patient voice.

  Her gaze remained transfixed on a spot on the floor while she shook her head.

  Jackson nodded and reached inside his breast pocket for his worn notepad and pen. He flipped the pages until he found the pages that contained her earlier statement. “I know you’re tired, but we need to go over a few more things before I can let you go.”

  She glanced up and brushed her thick, black mane back from her swollen red eyes. She looked a mess with her streaked makeup and disheveled hair.

  His eyes lowered to her trench coat, an odd thing to wear in the middle of a humid summer night. If he had to guess, he suspected that the woman wore little or nothing underneath.

  “How do you know David Lawson?” he asked.

  “I already told you,” she whined impatiently. Her gaze darted to the officers milling around them.

  “Tell me again,” he responded with more firmness.

  She looked up. Her eyes found the familiar spot on the floor. “We were lovers,” she answered just above a whisper.

  “And how long were you in this relationship?”

  She paused before answering. “A little over a year.”

  “Did his wife know about the affair?”

  She shrugged, but Jackson pressed her for an answer. “Ma’am?”

  “Not that I’m aware of.” She suddenly became agitated. “I don’t understand why you’re asking me all these questions. She’s the one you need to be talking to.”

  “You believe she killed her husband?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” she snapped.

  “But if she hadn’t known about the affair—”

  “I said that she didn’t know about me,” she said, holding his direct gaze. “I didn’t say she didn’t know about the others.”

  Nancy Davis looked nervous.

  Tony glanced over at Walt to see whether he’d picked up on it as well. He read in the other man’s expression that he had. They sat down in Mrs. Davis’s dining room while the woman fumbled for her third cigarette.

  “I can’t tell you how much of a shock this is to me,” she said in a haze of smoke that threatened lung cancer for them all. “When I saw David’s picture flash on the news like that, I didn’t know what to think. I mean, I’ve been friends with him and his wife
for years.”

  “How do you know David Mercer and his wife?”

  “Mercer,” she repeated with a shake of her head. “It’s going to take me a while to get used to that name. You’ve got to remember, I knew him as David Lawson.”

  Tony and Walt nodded patiently.

  “Well,” she continued, “I’ve been friends with Julia for a long time. Our daughters are in the same dance troupe, and we often take turns carpooling them to classes. I met David shortly before they were married. I think that was three or four years ago. I can see why Julia was attracted to him, why any woman would be attracted to him. He was quite the charmer.”

  Tony nodded.

  For the next hour, Mrs. Davis said little that gave any hint to the source of her nervousness.

  “When was the last time you saw Mercer—Lawson alive?” Paul asked.

  Her gaze deserted his to eye the now-empty pack of Benson & Hedges Lights. The woman was definitely a basket case.

  “Friday,” she said.

  Tony frowned. Had there been a slight tremor in her voice?

  “And Dr. Kelley?” Walt asked with a growing frown.

  “I believe it was Thursday.”

  Tony watched as she averted her eyes. The woman was definitely hiding something.

  A rattle came from the front door seconds before it swung open and a tall man strolled through the door.

  “Honey,” Mrs. Davis exclaimed, jumping from her chair and absently straightening her clothes. She shot the agents a strange and unreadable look but still made a feeble attempt to smile.

  A puzzled look dominated Mr. Davis’s stony features as he glanced from his wife to the agents. “What’s going on?”

  Nancy’s nervousness took off on a whole new flight, puzzling Tony and Walt further.

  Tony stepped forward and introduced himself and Paul, but their identities only deepened Keith Davis’s bewilderment.

  It was then that Nancy got a grip on her nerves and explained everything, but Keith hadn’t seemed too surprised by Mercer’s former life; he simply said, “I knew there was something about that man I didn’t like.”

  “Care to elaborate on that, Mr. Davis?” Tony asked.