Bliss Series Boxed Set: The Whole Damn Harem

by B. J. Harvey

  Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t be the man I am if I didn’t appreciate the size of my cock, but the older and hopefully wiser I get, the more I’ve come to appreciate the fact that it’s not the be all and end all. Unfortunately there are some people in this world who believe that the size of the cock maketh the man.

  “What was up with you and that hot piece of ass you mauled at Dan’s wedding?” he asks as he takes a seat in the recliner next to me.

  I turn my head to look at him. “Nikki?”

  “Not Nikki, you douche. Nikki might have a nice ass, but she’s not a hot piece of ass. Her personality totally cancels out any hotness she might have.”

  “Touché.”

  “So did you tap that?”

  This time I sit up and stare at him, totally lost as to what the hell he’s going on about. “What the fuck are you talking about, Matt?”

  “You plus a hot brunette with a killer rack and curves for fucking days locking lips at the wedding, ending with Zander pulling you apart and punching you in the face. What. Was. Up. With. That?” he says his question slowly, yet even as I scan the deepest recesses of my mind, I can’t comprehend what he’s talking about.

  Thinking back to the wedding, I try and remember what happened.

  Getting ready for the wedding? Check.

  Watching my best friend turn to mush as Mac walked up the aisle toward him? Check.

  Giving a kickass speech at the wedding reception while downing copious amounts of alcohol to cope with the realization that my date had used my dick to get an invite to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding? Getting hazy but I still remember that much.

  Kissing a gorgeous brown-haired woman and getting punched in the face for doing it? Negative. A big fat ‘kinda wish I remembered that’ no.

  And before I can even think about who it was, or kick myself for not remembering the how, the when or even the why—although if she was as hot as my brother says then that kind of speaks for itself—Matt continues.

  “You walked into her, looked at her then tried to eat her face. It was hilarious and kinda hot, like the start of a real-life porn show. Then Zander crossed the room and slammed his fist into your face,” he says with a laugh. “You should’ve seen his face. That dude is a scary motherfucker when he’s angry. I almost thought he was going to turn into The Hulk.” He continues talking but I block him out.

  Putting my beer down on the floor beside me, I rake my hands through my hair, trying to remember something, anything, about kissing a stranger at the wedding. I was drunk. Toasted. Off my tree. I remember Nikki coming to the head table to talk to me. Me contemplating what Mac and Daniel had and thinking that was something I might like. Me downing the rest of my drink and leaving to meet Nikki outside. That’s it. There aren’t even any of those drunken flashes you might get a few days after the fact. It’s been a few weeks now so any chance of remembering who I kissed, how good it might’ve been, let alone why Zander would want to . . .

  Oh fuck.

  Oh fuck! Damn! Shit! I’m a motherfucking idiot.

  Zoe.

  It was Zoe. Hot and busty, with an ass you could bounce pennies off, and cherry red lips that any red-blooded male would want to kiss.

  And it was me that kissed her. If I were Zander, I would’ve punched me too.

  “Fuck, I’m an idiot.”

  “Well you are if you didn’t nail her. So much hotter than Nikki. Nicer too.”

  I jerk my head and glare at him. “Dude, shut up. You’re not helping.”

  “What did I do?”

  “It was Zander’s sister, dickhead.”

  “Duuuuude. High five.” He holds his hand up in the air but I leave him hanging. This isn’t anything to celebrate. In fact, I’m now glad Mac and Daniel left the next day otherwise I can guarantee Daniel would’ve reamed my ass. Jesus, I’m surprised Mac didn’t whack me around the head before cutting my dick off.

  I pick up my forgotten about beer bottle and finish the drink in a few gulps before standing up to get another one—or ten.

  “You don’t remember doing it?”

  “Nope,” I yell out from the kitchen.

  “At least you know who she is now. You can go back for more.”

  “Over Zander’s dead body.”

  “Well there’s that, but like that’s ever stopped you before. There was that time you tried it on with Daniel’s sister, remember?”

  “You better take that to your grave, Matt,” I call out. “There is no way in hell that can ever come out.”

  I walk back into the living area to see a huge smirk on his face. “Look, it happens sometimes. Not to me, of course. The older ladies love me. But it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He struggles to hold back his laughter, which in turn makes me chuckle, and as it has been our whole lives, we both lose it.

  Handing him his beer, I shove him in the arm before sitting back down on the sofa with a six-pack next to me. He quirks a brow and looks at the beer. “Settling in for a big night?”

  “More like drowning my sorrows and hoping my memory is reignited by the substance that stole it away.”

  “Must be bad if you’ve slipped back into doctor-speak.”

  I try to concentrate on watching the baseball game on the sixty-five-inch screen in front of me, but all I can see in my head is the look on Zoe’s face yesterday when I was talking to her. She must think I’m just another asshole doctor who goes around nailing anything that moves, both in and out of the hospital. Truth be told, after Mac and before Nikki, I was that guy. But not anymore.

  Even still, that look on her face that I couldn’t work out at the time makes a hell of a lot more sense now.

  My mouth hurt the next morning, but cutting it off with Nikki was at the forefront of my mind, not wondering why my jaw ached like a bitch. I’m surprised I didn’t bruise.

  The best decision I’ve ever made was ending our ‘arrangement.’

  I’ve never been opposed to relationships, just very rarely met a woman who made me consider it. And recently, my residency and the hours that it requires—especially with my boards coming up—pretty much eliminates the opportunity to meet someone new.

  Before Nikki, I would date women if they interested me, and I had Mac for no-strings sex, so I had it made.

  Then my mind wanders back to Zoe.

  She’s gorgeous as all hell with a body to devour. The two times I’ve seen her there’s been something in her eyes that’s hinted at a backbone—something that’s always been extremely attractive to me in a woman.

  She’s sassy and sexy, with a sense of humor to boot, and an ass that is the perfect size for my hands to hold while burying my face between her legs. So far she’s ticking all my boxes.

  Those blue eyes of hers drew me in when I first talked to her at work. Thankfully the ‘Menace of MRI’ Greta was there or else I would’ve probably said some jerky line to get Zoe to go out with me.

  I can just imagine what Zander would think of that. He'd hunt me down and shoot me with his gun, after beating me to a bloody pulp with his baton. Bad idea Taylor.

  If I were a better man, a smarter man, I’d find a woman who ticked all those boxes somewhere else. You shouldn’t shit where you eat, or in this case, shouldn’t fuck one of your mate’s sisters.

  “So what are you going to do about her then?” Matt asks curiously, breaking me from my train of thought.

  “I’m going to apologize.” Now I’m definitely looking forward to seeing Ms. Roberts again.

  ∞∞∞

  I’m woken up Sunday morning with a throbbing head and a ringing cell phone. I pick it up and see Daniel’s name lighting up the screen.

  “Hello,” I answer groggily.

  “Morning, sunshine,” Daniel replies cheerfully. Way too fucking happy for nine a.m. on a Sunday morning. Lucky fucker.

  “Hi, Noah. Caught you at a bad time?” Mac asks on the speaker.

  “Anytime I’m woken up early on my day off is a bad time, Mac. I don’t have t
wo built-in minimes to wake me up like you guys do.” I may be grumpy but I can’t hide the amusement in my voice. “Where are you guys anyway?”

  “On our way to pick up the twins. Landed a few hours ago,” Mac explains.

  “And for what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?”

  “’Cause you’re an ass,” Daniel states matter-of-factly.

  “I love you too. How was the honeymoon?”

  “I can barely walk so it must’ve been good. I’m coming home to have a rest from Superman’s weapon.”

  “Thor’s hammer would do more damage,” I add.

  “Fuck that. I’d rather have Superman than Thor any day.”

  “What about Captain America?” I ask with a laugh. “Nope,” she says, with extra emphasis on the P before Daniel butts in.

  “Maybe I’m the one who needs a break from my wife.”

  Chuckling down the phone, I realize how strange that sounds. Husband and wife. My two best friends are now married. “God that sounds weird.”

  “You’re telling me!” Mac retorts.

  “Now stop trying to avoid the inevitable, Taylor. What was that shit you pulled with Zoe at the wedding?” That’s Daniel. Straight to the point. He has to be to deal with Mac though, so it’s kind of a prerequisite.

  I roll over onto my back, taking the phone with me. “Sorry guys. I don’t remember anything. Matt told me all about it yesterday.”

  Mac gasps. “You stuck your tongue down her throat right in front of everyone, Noah. You walked into her, stopped to look at her then just rammed it on in there. How can you not remember that?” Put like that, I’m almost impressed with my drunken self.

  “Way to put it out there, Mac,” I muse. “I obviously drank more than I should have.”

  “Hope your jaw was sore the next day,” Daniel says with a laugh.

  “So you’re not mad at me then?”

  “Noah, I’ve known you for almost twenty years. I know what you’re like and I also know what you’re like when you’re drunk. But at our wedding reception? Didn’t think you’d do that to us.” I can hear the disappointment in his voice. He must’ve been so angry with me after the wedding. Now that anger has given way to disappointment, something I never wanted to do to him.

  “Look, I’m really sorry, guys. I don’t know where my head was at. I don’t even remember kissing her.”

  “You don’t remember anything at all?” Mac sounds surprised.

  “Nothing after the speeches.”

  “Have you apologized to her?” she asks.

  “I saw her at the hospital on Friday, but I didn’t have a fucking clue so I’ll find her on Tuesday when I’m at work again.”

  “You better fucking grovel, dude. You mauled that poor girl and she’s been through enough.” The stern warning in Mac’s voice would make the strongest man cower.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Not my story to tell, but please just make it right,” she urges.

  Daniel speaks up. “Might pay to steer clear of Zander for a while too.”

  “Okay, guys. I get it. I fucked up and I have to make it right. And I will. All right? I truly am sorry.”

  “Okay,” Mac replies softly.

  I wait for Daniel to say something. “We’re good, Noah. Let’s catch up for a beer next week.”

  “Sounds good, man. You guys go pick up the little monsters.”

  “Bye, Noah,” they say in unison

  I end the call and throw my phone down on the bed, knowing that I need to fix this.

  With Nikki out of the picture, I’m free to pursue something new, with someone new.

  Then there’s Zoe, who seems to have magically appeared in my lap—so to speak.

  I can show her I’m not like the nickname Mac coined all those years ago. Big dick or not, I’m not normally an arrogant ass who sticks his tongue in a woman’s mouth and doesn’t remember it.

  Fuck it. Tuesday morning I’m going to hunt that woman down and apologize. Then ask her out for dinner. I owe her that much.

  Getting her to agree is another challenge all in itself.

  And I’ve always loved a challenge.

  Chapter 6

  “Complicated”

  Zoe

  It’s lunchtime in the cafeteria, and having grabbed a sandwich and a juice, I spot my friend Stacey sitting at a table with a few other nurses. She waves me over, shifting when I get there to make space for me to sit down.

  “Hey, guys. How’s it going?”

  I get a collective response of “Hey” and “Good” before Stacey looks at me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Who are the flowers from? Your secret admirer?” she asks with a raised brow as I sit down and hand the bouquet to her.

  “Happy Valentine’s, Stace.” She looks are me strangely before shaking her head. “You’re a nut, but I love you. And it’s May, not February.”

  “Just say thank you anyway,” I reply.

  “We were just talking about Dr. Taylor. You’ve met him haven’t you, Zoe?” She quirks an eyebrow, and I almost choke on my mouthful. She’s lucky I’ve known her since high school, otherwise I’d be tempted to make use of the fork lying on the table beside me.

  I had to talk to someone about Noah and my new preoccupation with him, and Stacey—having worked as an OR nurse for the past six months with him—was an obvious choice. Something I’m regretting at this juncture.

  Biting into my sandwich, I mumble a response that resembles something between a growl and an ‘oh shit, where is she going with this’ sound. I narrow my eyes at her, and am met with a sickly sweet ‘just you wait’ smile that she’s scarily good at.

  “Jessica over here was just telling me that WD is back on the market. It’s big news for the hospital’s single nurse pool.”

  “Mmm hmm.” I take as long as humanly possible to chew my mouthful, not trusting myself to reply and show not one iota of interest—even if I’m dying to find out more. Desperate Zoe, aisle five.

  “Yeah,” Jennifer pipes up, “Don’t get me wrong—he’s hot and he definitely knows how to lay the groundwork, but it’s like he’s been trying to prove a point.”

  Feeling intrigued, I decide that this might be the perfect opportunity to gather some helpful intel in my mission to avoid everything hot doctor related.

  “So he’s not normally a player?”

  The table of five women burst out laughing and I feel my eyes widen as they all just look at me as if I have three heads. “He’s the Walking Dildo, lovely. We know the reputation, we’ve heard the rumors of what he’s packing down below, and there has never been a shortage of women willing to lay down in the name of research, if you know what I mean.” A blond nurse I haven’t met yet—whose honesty I kinda dig—informs me.

  “He’s been off the market for so long now, it’s almost as if he’s overdoing it in an attempt to prove something to himself.” That was Jessica.

  Something about the way they talk about him irks me. He may be handsome and have more than his fair share of confidence, charm, devilish smirks, but he’s still just a man. They’re talking about him like he’s a piece of meat and they’re a bunch of carnivores at a vegetarian convention. Hungry much?

  “He can’t have much time, what with OR time and consults?”

  “He used to make the time. If you ever wanted to ‘take a walk on the doctor side’ and scratch it off your bucket list, Dr. Taylor was your man,” Jennifer adds.

  “Maybe he’s changed.” That was me, ever the optimist, my voice sounding certain that they must be talking about a different guy.

  The problem is my mind is now racing with thoughts of A) where has his mouth been before mine, B) does he make it a habit of kissing random women now—drunk or otherwise? And C) how easy will it be to avoid him for the rest of my employment at NorthWestern and stop myself from wondering what a ‘walk on the doctor side’ would be like with him?

  “You alright there, Zoe? You seem a bit distracted . . .” Stacey just won
’t give it up. Look up dog with a bone and there will be a smiling picture of my friend.

  “You’re a shit stirrer. Please at least tell me that you haven’t fallen victim to the Taylor charm?” I whisper quietly.

  “Hell no. I’m a player hater, and that man has expert game.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  And instantly, my previously waning vow to stay away from Noah is given a much-needed boost. Drunkenly kissing a stranger at your best friends’ wedding was all the confirmation I needed in that department.

  Maybe I’ll just clear the air with him. Explain that we can be friends but only friends. We can be friendly and cordial but I’ll explain that there can be no flirting, and no cheesy pick-up lines, and definitely no repeats of that kiss. In fact, I won’t even bring it up. He doesn’t remember it, I can easily forget it ever happened and just move on.

  And definitely no more thinking about Noah and his hands or his mouth or the unimaginable things I fantasize about him doing to me.

  ∞∞∞

  I’m hiding away in an empty exam room studying some scans when there is a knock at the door. It opens and I lift my head to see Noah walk in, close the door behind him, and lean his back against it.

  He’s wearing dark blue scrubs covered by his white lab coat. His hair is slightly mussed, as if he’s been running his hands through it, which just makes me want to drag my hands through it. Preferably while doing something other than standing in an exam room with him.

  No, I will not let hot cocky doctors distract me.

  “Hey,” he says confidently.

  “Ah, hi. Can I help you with something Noah . . . I mean, Dr. Taylor?”

  “I’m sure I told you to call me Noah, Zoe.” His soft voice is doing dangerously good things to me. Stay strong, Zoe.

  “Okay.”

  “How’s your day going?” he asks casually. Well that’s an unexpected turn of events.

  “Good. Great actually.” I can’t help but smile at him.