Nicola Cornick - [Bluestocking Brides 02]

by One Night of Scandal

  Deb caught her breath. ‘I cannot attend—’

  Olivia looked cross. ‘You must. Show some spirit, Deb!’

  ‘Tell everyone that I am ill!’ Deb begged. ‘I cannot bear to go into company.’

  ‘Since everyone is talking scandal about you,’ Olivia said, with asperity, ‘you will attend to quash the rumours. I have had enough of this, Deb! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. We shall collect you at eight.’

  After she had gone, Deb rolled over with a groan and buried her face in the pillow. Then she sat up. What could she do? She could refuse to attend Lady Sally’s soirée but she suspected that Olivia and Ross would drag her there.

  She could break her engagement publicly and face the consequences.

  She could return to Bath and throw herself on her father’s mercy.

  Except that she could not. That was how she had got herself into this difficulty in the first place.

  She could marry Richard Kestrel…

  She had to marry Richard Kestrel unless she wanted to be ostracised.

  She loved Richard and wanted to marry him, but not like this…

  ‘Damn it!’ Deb said furiously, punching her pillow. ‘Why must I always get into such a scrape?’

  She knew that she was going to have to talk to Richard and put matters right. She knew that she was going to have to tell him everything that she had previously held back. She had had the courage to love and trust this far, and now she must take the final step. Then, and only then, she might make the match of her heart—but only if Richard still wanted her. And of that she was painfully unsure.

  Chapter Eighteen

  There was no opportunity for Deb to speak privately to Richard at Lady Sally Saltire’s ball that evening. It seemed absurd, for they were in the same room, partook of the same dinner and mingled with the same guests. Yet they were never alone and Deb could feel her frustration mounting as each hour passed. She fidgeted with the saltcellar and sprinkled too much on her food, she toyed with the wine in her glass and spilled it on the table and she felt cross and anxious and utterly miserable.

  Outwardly it felt as though nothing had changed. They had not formally broken their betrothal, and Richard behaved with the same impeccable good manners towards Deb that he had always shown her in company. Only she was aware of the distance between them; the chilly edge to Richard’s politeness and the withdrawal in his eyes. She wanted to put a hand out to him then, to draw him back to her and see that coldness melt into the warmth and tenderness that she had come to value and rely upon. Only the previous night he had held her in his arms and made love to her with exquisite love and gentleness. Now he was becoming a stranger. Deb felt very lonely.

  At some point during the seemingly interminable dinner, Deb resolved that something must be done. She decided to slip away to Lady Sally’s study to write Richard a note, begging him to speak with her the following day. It was the best idea that she could devise and, as soon as she had thought of it, Deb was itching to put it into action. Eventually the dinner ended and the gentlemen withdrew and Deb, without further ado, excused herself from her hostess with vague suggestions of seeking the ladies’ withdrawing room.

  She never reached the study. She had passed the ballroom, shuttered and in darkness until the unveiling of the watercolour book took place, and was standing outside the library, when a strange smell reached her and immediately tugged at her memory. She stood still, racking her brains to recall the occasion on which she had smelled it before and wondering why it seemed so important to remember. And then it hit her. It was the odd, musty scent that had permeated the pages of the poetry book. She had come across it when they had found the coded message and she had known then that she would recognise it if she smelled it again.

  It was here, a faint perfume in the air, in the passageway of Lady Sally Saltire’s house. Deb stood still, puzzling, whilst her heart started to race. She took a few steps forward and the scent was stronger, battling with the perfume of the tiger lilies that stood on a plinth in the corner. It smelled of old, damp buildings and illness and musty clothes. It seemed to be seeping from under the nearest door like a gas. Stealthily, without pause for thought, Deb opened the door and slipped into the room beyond. She could see nothing. It was all in darkness, the curtains drawn. She was not even sure which room she had entered, except that it was hot and the smell of camphor overrode all other scents and was oppressive now. It made her want to sneeze. She pressed a hand to her mouth. She needed fresh air…

  There was a movement behind her and a swirl of clear cool air as the door opened, but she never had time to profit from it. Something hit her hard on the back of the head and she went out like a doused lantern.

  Her whole body ached. Her legs were trembling, her arms felt stretched beyond endurance, and in her head was a buzzing sound that made her groan. She tried opening her eyes, but the red and green flashes that exploded in her skull made her close them again. Her head felt unnaturally heavy and her whole body felt weighted with lead. She groaned again.

  ‘Deb! Deborah!’

  The sharp voice spoke in her ear and made her head jerk up again just as she was welcoming the blissful darkness back again. She tried to move, felt herself restrained and caught her breath on another wave of pain.

  ‘Deborah!’ It was Richard’s voice. ‘Wake up!’

  ‘Yes, all right,’ Deb said crossly. ‘There is no need to shout!’

  ‘Thank God.’ Richard’s voice held a wealth of relief. ‘I was beginning to think they had hit you too hard and you would never come round.’

  ‘That sounds very pleasant at the moment,’ Deb said. It was no good, though. The insistent note in his voice was dragging her back from the edge of unconsciousness and making her aware of all the things that she did not like about her current situation.

  There was plenty to dislike. For a start she was standing up, which accounted for the weak trembling of her legs, which protested that the most urgent thing for her to do right now was to lie down. Then there was the fact that her arms were by her side and tied tightly to something hard. Then there was the darkness. She could see nothing at all. She could feel, though. She knew that something—or someone—was pressed close against her and that there was a soft weight like a blanket draped over her head, adding to the general ache and preventing her from breathing deeply through its smothering folds.

  ‘Richard?’ she said cautiously.

  ‘Yes?’ His voice came softly out of the darkness, right by her ear. Deb realised that he was standing directly in front of her, his body pressed against hers.

  ‘Why do you not release us?’ Deb asked. ‘Are we to stand here in the dark all night?’

  ‘Very probably.’ There was a hint of rueful amusement in Richard’s voice now. ‘I cannot release us, Deb, because I am tied to this easel with you.’

  ‘The easel?’ Deb’s voice rose as the truth hit her. ‘You mean that someone has tied us up in the ballroom where the watercolour book was displayed? Of all the fiendish ideas—’

  ‘I am afraid so,’ Richard said. He sounded, Deb thought, remarkably calm. ‘You are tied to the front of the easel, Deb, and I am tied up facing you. I apologise that you are obliged to be in such close proximity to me, but I cannot move away.’

  Deb shifted slightly as she began to assimilate the truth of their situation. It was as Richard said. She was standing with her hands tied behind her back, fastened to the easel. It appeared that their captors had made Richard face her and then tied him up directly in front of her so that his arms were about her and his body was pressing against hers. Deb gave a small, exploratory wiggle and almost immediately felt Richard go tense.

  ‘Please do not do that,’ he said politely. ‘It is not helping the situation.’ Deb went still.

  ‘Why have they done this to us?’ She whispered.

  She felt Richard move slightly. The easel creaked again. ‘To make fools of us—humiliate us.’ His voice hardened. ‘The spies grow so arrogant tha
t they want to show us they know we are after them. This is a statement—one that shows their mastery. They want to ridicule us and show us they are too clever for us.’

  Deb let her breath out in a long sigh. ‘Then they do not intend to kill us.’

  ‘I doubt it. We are to be a laughing stock rather than a sacrifice. When Lady Sally’s guests come into the ballroom for the private view, the view they will see will be of us, tied up in this position. I have no doubt it will create a sensation, albeit not the one that Lady Sally intends!’

  ‘Lady Benedict,’ Deb whispered. ‘I am sure she must be behind this. I cannot believe it is Lady Sally, so Lily Benedict is the only other person it could be…’

  ‘This has all the hallmarks of her malice,’ Richard agreed.

  ‘Yet she was in the dining room when I left, as was Lady Sally and Sir John Norton. How could any of them be responsible for this?’ Deb rested her aching head back against the cool wooden upright. ‘It does not make sense!’

  ‘No, I agree. Once we are out of this damnable mess we must put an end to their games once and for all.’ His voice changed. ‘What were you up to, Deb, to be caught in this situation?’

  Deb shifted irritably. ‘I smelled the same scent that was in the poetry book,’ she said, repressing a shiver of horror. ‘Camphor and fusty old clothes and illness. It is hard to explain. The smell was coming from one of the rooms, so I went in to see who, or what, was behind it—’

  ‘And promptly walked into a trap.’

  Deb wriggled pettishly. ‘If it comes to that, how did they manage to trap you? You are supposed to be good at this sort of thing.’

  She heard Richard give an equally irritable sigh. His breath stirred her hair. ‘I had other matters on my mind,’ he said, with commendable restraint. ‘A servant brought a message to me, Deborah, purporting to be from you. He said that you wished to speak with me as a matter of urgency and I was to meet you in the library. Naturally I thought—’ He broke off with a shrug and the easel creaked in protest.

  ‘You came because you wanted to speak with me,’ Deb repeated softly. Despite the extremity of the situation she suddenly felt a lot warmer.

  ‘And got knocked on the head for my pains,’ Richard confirmed bitterly. ‘I cannot believe that I fell for the oldest trick in the book. I suppose this is the nadir of my career as a spy catcher. I had best resign.’

  ‘If you do, you will have to find another purpose in life,’ Deb said.

  ‘Very true.’ There was an odd note to Richard’s voice now. His hand reached for hers again, caught it and held it. ‘Could you give me that purpose?’ he asked.

  Deb had nothing to go on but his voice and the touch of his body against hers. The first was steady but the second conveyed something sweet. All thoughts of the Midwinter spies fled as more important matters caught her attention. Hope trapped her and held her silent, somewhere between apprehension and desire.

  ‘Listen to me, Deb,’ Richard said abruptly. ‘We do not have much time before they come to unveil the private view. I know I have gone about this all the wrong way. I know I have misled you and that it appears I gave no significance to your wishes, and I can plead no excuse other than that I love you desperately and have wanted to marry you for a very long time—’

  ‘From the first?’ Deb said, in a small voice.

  She heard the smile in his words then. ‘No. From the first I wanted to make love to you. I was a rake then, as you know.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘Now I realise that my past indiscretions are likely to lose me the one woman that I want to marry. I understand that you would find it difficult to trust me, both because of your own experiences and because of my past behaviour. It is the ultimate irony of a rake’s life, I suppose. All I can tell you is that if you choose to marry me of your own free will I should be the happiest man alive and I would never betray you.’

  His words fell into the silence. Deb swallowed hard. He had been open and honest with her and had offered her all that she wanted, but there was something she had to tell him…

  She took a deep breath. ‘Richard…’ Her voice trembled, then strengthened. ‘Thank you for what you have said. There is something that you should know, however. I have not been entirely honest with you.’

  There was a different quality to the silence now. It felt alive, waiting, trembling on the edge. Deb’s nerve almost deserted her. She knew she had to finish this quickly.

  ‘I was never married to Neil Stratton,’ she said, in a rush. ‘I did not know that he was already married when I eloped with him. He never told me. It was only after he died that I discovered he already had a wife and child.’ Her voice faltered. ‘By then, of course, Neil had seduced me and I was already ruined.’ She shook. She could not help herself. ‘We contrived a pretence, Ross and Olivia and I. I was to live here quietly in Midwinter and pretend to be the respectable widow that I was not.’ Her voice rose a little. ‘No one knew. Ross has paid to support Neil’s real wife and child ever since—poor girl, she never meant to cause trouble, but her very existence spelt my ruin. I am sorry. I was so very stupid. I should not have trusted Neil—God help me, I thought it was exciting to be courted in secret and to run away to Gretna! I was so foolish and so impetuous and rash—’ She broke off as Richard’s lips brushed her cheek very softly.

  ‘Deb,’ he said.

  ‘I am sorry,’ Deb said again, wretchedly. ‘I have been so afraid all the time and I tried so hard not to do foolish things, but sometimes I cannot seem to suppress them.’

  ‘Did you think that spending the night with me was a foolish thing and to be regretted?’ Richard asked.

  Deb shook her head and unconsciously strained a little closer to the comfort of his body. ‘No. It was a wonderful thing! But I never meant to fall in love with you, Richard, and I certainly never intended to marry, for I was so afraid of trusting again and being hurt and losing my self-respect. And I was afraid that when you knew you would have no good opinion of me—’

  ‘Deb,’ Richard said again. His voice was hard with suppressed anger and Deb shuddered to hear it, though she could not be sure whether it was turned against her or against Neil Stratton. And when Richard spoke again he had moderated his tone, though she could still hear the violence underneath.

  ‘Do you think,’ he said, ‘that I give a damn about whether or not you were truly married to Neil Stratton? If you love me and wish to be married to me, then that is all that matters.’

  Deb was trembling fiercely now. ‘But I am a fallen woman, Richard! Even now, if the truth came out, I would be utterly ruined! That was one of the reasons I struggled so hard against my attraction to you, and why Ross and Olivia were shocked that I could make the same mistake twice, only this time knowing what I did, with my eyes open…’

  ‘Why did you do it?’ Richard asked.

  Deb hesitated. ‘I thought it was because I was attracted to you too strongly to resist, but the truth was that I was falling in love with you, and I wanted to love you and desperately wanted you to love me too.’

  ‘That is more than enough for me,’ Richard said, and Deb could hear the smile in his voice now and her heart started to ease, though she still hesitated.

  ‘I do not understand why what happened before does not matter to you, Richard.’

  ‘It matters to me that someone hurt you so badly,’ Richard said. His voice softened. ‘The rest is not important. How could it be, when you chose of your own free will to give yourself to me? Deb, it is you I love, not Mrs Deborah Stratton, widow, or Miss Deborah Walton, spinster, or however you or society wishes to describe you. It is what you are—warm and impulsive and vibrant and so alive—that is important to me, and if you love and trust me too, then that is all that matters.’

  Deb smiled shakily. ‘It is true that I was not sure if I could trust a rake,’ she said shyly, ‘but I know that you are not like Neil. You are an honourable man.’

  Richard angled his head and kissed her hard, pre
ssing her head back against the wooden bars. She gave a little gasp of protest and he straightened.

  ‘You can trust me.’ His voice was not so steady now. ‘I swear it. I love you. I would never hurt you. God knows, Deborah, it must surely be apparent to you that I would walk across burning coals for you if I had to. I would probably eat burning coals if you asked me.’

  Deb tilted her head up towards him. ‘Richard…’

  ‘Yes?’ The word was like a caress on her skin. Deb wriggled.

  ‘The burning coals will not be necessary. But we have been away from the dining room for a considerable time. People will have noticed.’

  ‘They will indeed.’

  ‘Taken with the rumours about last night, I fear that your freedom is lost. You will have to marry me.’

  There was a pause.

  ‘Are you proposing to me, Mrs Stratton?’ Richard said, after a moment. Once again Deb could hear the amusement in his voice and she felt warm.

  ‘I believe that I must. In a moment they will find us, you see…’ Even as she spoke, Deb heard the scrape of a door and the sound of voices at the other end of the ballroom.

  ‘They will whip off this damnable sheet and find you and me tied up together beneath it in a wholly scandalous and utterly compromising fashion. There will be no alternative other than a quick marriage to silence the gossips.’

  She felt Richard bend his neck so that his lips could brush her hair. ‘How quick?’

  ‘Oh, as quickly as we can make it? By special licence? So that we can return to the hunting lodge for our honeymoon?’

  She felt the easel shake as he laughed. The voices and footsteps were coming closer. The ballroom was filling up with Lady Sally’s visitors.