He sits on the porch swing, and I sit next to him. I want to take his hand, but I need to tell him how I feel first. I can’t believe I can master all of this crazy magic, but I don’t know how to do this.
“So…you saved the islanders,” Benny says, shattering the silence.
“What? Oh, yeah. That’s one less thing I have to worry about. Now I need to figure out how to save the ghosts. Then I can destroy the island.”
Benny shakes his head and gives me a pained look. “I hate to hear you talk like that. Because you won’t get out of this unscathed. Chances are you’ll go down with the island.”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
We sit in silence for a few more minutes, and I think back to the nights I’ve spent listening to him tell me the many things I didn’t know about him. “You don’t like alcohol, huh?” I finally say. It sounds stupid coming out of my mouth.
Benny spins so fast in the porch swing I nearly fall out. He catches me by my waist and tugs me close. “You were listening?”
I nod and swallow, searching his face for any clue as to how he feels right now, in this moment.
“How long?” he asks.
“Just since that night. Have you been talking to me every night?” I drop my eyes. I can’t look at him anymore and try to figure out what he’s thinking.
“Since you died.” He pulls me closer, and I tense. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says.
I swallow. “Me too.”
“But I thought you were mad at me.”
“I was.” I place my hands on his chest. “But after you talked to me about Maddie and stuff, I think I finally got it.”
He hugs me tight, and I inhale his whiskey and cigar scent. He strokes my hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I mumble into his chest. “Not gonna lie though, I’m still struggling with the act of you stabbing me with that knife.”
He takes my face up to his. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to help you forget it. Promise.”
He leans forward, his eyes locked on mine. I feel the rays of the sun behind me, and just before his lips touch mine, I go transparent, and Benny falls forward.
“Dammit,” he says. He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a breath. “Now I know how you feel. On the full moon, I’m kissing you as soon as you appear. Just so you’re prepared. We’re not wasting another second.”
This is almost as exciting to me as the fact that none of the islanders died.
At least I think none of them died.
For the first time in forever, I feel a little…happy.
Chapter Eleven
I should be continuing on my quest to destroy the island, but I can’t help myself. I watch Benny constantly. I don’t watch the islanders or the other ghosts. Hell, I barely notice the birds. Benny has recaptured my wholehearted attention. I’m certain Reken is extremely angry with me. Well, he can be angry.
I’m too busy being in love.
I missed this so much.
Funny how quickly that love came back. Though I shouldn’t be surprised. I just needed to forgive him. Benny’s been my one and only for some time now. I snort, remembering how silly I’d find this in my past life. When I was in California and carefree surfing, love seemed frivolous and dumb. Who needed love when you have waves? And fun? And Maddie, my sister and best friend. I didn’t need a boy.
I wonder if, eventually, I would’ve found love. And if I would’ve embraced it or let it go without realizing what I was losing. Probably. I was pretty shallow. I’ve changed so much. My California self wouldn’t recognize my swamp self. I like this self better even though it’s been extremely difficult and I had to die.
Am I nuts? Probably.
Benny talks to me all the time. Sometimes he tells me how worried he is about me, and other times he tells me stories of his youth. Once, he related to me every physical feature he remembered about me and how much he appreciated it. I blushed quite a bit during that, if ghosts can even blush. I talk back to him even though he can’t hear me. His chattering makes me feel real. More like I’m not dead.
This two weeks apart thing sucks. I guess it’s better than not at all. But still.
There has to be a spell somewhere that will fix this, that will make us both ghosts or fully alive. Alive would be the best. As ghosts, there is always a chance we could move on. I realize that I do control that, but maybe I don’t. Maybe Reken does. Plus, I want to have kids with Benny and grow old with him. I want to watch him explore the world as it is now. I want to work silly dead-end jobs and whine about my feet hurting. I want the things in life that I took advantage of before I came to the island. The life I scoffed at as being normal and dull.
But I don’t know if Benny and I will ever have normal. Would we even have kids? If we can’t leave the island, then our kids’ lives would be in danger. Holy cow, look at me, thinking about kids. I’m a mess.
I should go looking for that spell, the one that will allow us to be together all the time, but I’m too enamored by Benny to go anywhere. I spend the entire two weeks watching him. At this point, the islanders are safe. What’re two weeks in the grand scheme of things? I can take time off stressing about everyone and let myself be in love for the moment.
I’m sitting on the bed waiting for the full moon to rise. The circus is still running. I don’t know why people are still coming. Half the acts are no longer performing, and the big top has been shuttered since I died.
Benny’s pacing around the room chattering. He knows I’m there.
“I know you seemed to forgive me before, but what if you didn’t? What if you had a moment of weakness?” He looks toward me as if he knows that’s where I’m sitting. “My biggest fear is that the moon will rise and you won’t be here. That I’ll have to search the island for you and convince you again to love me. I’ll do it though. In a heartbeat. I miss you so much. I hope you know how much you mean to me. I love you.”
I feel the change immediately, but Benny has turned around and faces the kitchen now, so he can’t see me.
“I love you too,” I say.
Benny spins around, a huge grin on his face. He moves slowly, but his eyes never leave my face. His pace is excruciatingly slow. I want to rush for him, but I don’t want to ruin the moment.
My hands burn, and I glance down. The strands are all pink, and I have to make a choice. Dammit. I should’ve thought of this before. Oh, I know, the depressed boy at the dock. He doesn’t want to be here anymore. “Greg,” I say. All the strands disappear except one. I touch it, and the burning stops.
Benny concentrates on my hands for a second and then meets my eyes.
“You’re really here?” he asks, his smile a mile wide.
“I am.”
I slide off the bed and stand in front of him. He stops inches from me and breathes in, but he doesn’t touch me. I yearn for that touch, but I wait.
“You’ve been around this whole time, haven’t you?” His eyes roam up and down my body, and I shiver.
“How do you know?”
“Because I can smell you on the breeze. I hope my chatter didn’t bother you. I feel better when I think you are around.”
“I loved it.” I stare into those dark eyes of his and wait.
I want him to kiss me already, but he takes his fingers and gently runs them along my arms. He groans.
“All I’ve wanted these last two weeks is to touch you. Well, longer than that, but once I knew it was possible, it made the wait worse. This has been horrible.”
“More than horrible,” I agree.
He slides his hands up along my arms to my shoulders, and then he places both hands on my cheeks. My whole body tingles in anticipation. I’ve been waiting for this for two weeks. Hell, I’ve been waiting for this my whole life, and I just didn’t know it. Benny holds my gaze and then drops his hands. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him. I squeal in surprise, and he chuckles.
“I love you, Callie.” His lips m
eet mine, and I forget all my worries. I focus on the way my stomach explodes with pleasure and how our bodies feel together. Our lips move slowly at first. Savoring each moment. I run my fingers through his hair, and he holds me tighter.
I never want to let this moment go. His tongue teases my lips, and I let him in, our kisses becoming more urgent and fierce. He leans into me, and my legs hit the edge of the bed.
We fall onto the bed, and I giggle. I love the feeling of his body against mine though there are far too many clothes in between us. Benny lets go of me for a second, and I scoot back, not taking my eyes off of him. He lies to my side and kisses my neck, his hands roaming along my stomach. My entire body feels like that moment before I let go of my magic but better.
We only have a few hours, but I want this night to last forever. I sit up and straddle Benny, and I place my hands on his chest. He’s so alive and warm.
“Two days a month isn’t enough with you,” I say.
“Agreed.”
“We need to fix this.” And I will. After I disappear tonight, I’ll pay a visit to Reken, apologize profusely for ignoring him, and see if he can help me figure out how to be with Benny all the time. I have to become human again. Either that or see if there is a way to become corporeal all the time. Which is basically the same thing.
I lean down and kiss him, and he grips my waist. I slide my hand up his shirt, and he hisses. I breathe in deep, the smell of whiskey and tobacco filling my senses. It’s all Benny.
A loud rapping on the door jolts me away from him.
Benny tugs me back on top of him. “Ignore it.” He plants his lips on mine again.
I’m inclined to agree. Benny flips me over and pins me to the bed, holding my hands above my head. He kisses me roughly. I struggle against his grip. I want to touch him. He lets go of my hands, and I grasp his shoulders and drag him down.
He slides his hands up my shirt and teases my ribs. I squirm under his touch. I’ve never wanted anything in my life as much as I want him.
The rapping comes on the door again. Benny growls against my lips and sits up. “Go away!” he yells. No one responds, and Benny chuckles. “I didn’t think that would work.”
His lips meet mine again, and I hold him against me. I don’t ever want to let him go.
The knocking comes louder this time.
Benny climbs off the bed, grumbling. “I swear, if that’s Juliette, I’m going to murder her again.”
I giggle. “It probably is. She’s probably wondering where we are.”
He smooths down his shirt and runs his hands through his hair.
I roll my eyes. “She’ll still know what we’ve been up to.”
“You’re right.” He musses his hair up again and untucks his shirt. “Maybe if she sees what she interrupted, she’ll leave.”
I can’t believe he’s mine.
The pounding on the door continues.
“I’m coming. Calm down,” Benny calls. I stay on the bed, eager for him to return.
Benny opens the door. “Juliette, you should know…” His words die off. “What are you doing here?”
A cackling comes from the other side. I jump off the bed and rush to Benny.
Giselle stands there. It’s strange seeing her alone. Usually, she’s flanked by her other homeless-looking friends. Today, she wears a tattered black dress with a white petticoat. The dress falls off the shoulders, revealing an impressive cleavage. Her two-inch-long nails are black, and so are her teeth. Blood red lipstick is smeared on her lips, and her wild, curly black hair hasn’t seen a comb in months. She’s got wicked long eyelashes that reveal purple-blue eyes. I don’t remember her eyes being that color. She smells wrong. Like dog and swamp sludge. Ew.
She flicks her eyes between Benny and me. She puts her hand on Benny’s chest and purrs. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”
“No,” Benny says. “What do you want?”
She ignores him and picks at her teeth. Her eyes lock on mine. “I need to talk to Calliope.”
I haven’t heard my full name in months. Years, maybe.
“How can I help you?” I ask. At this point, I want her to go away.
She doubles over as if I’ve said the funniest thing she’s ever heard, releasing a loud, obnoxious cackle. Benny moves in front of me and starts to close the door.
She stops the door with her hand. “Wait.” She continues to giggle but catches her breath. She wipes a hand across her lips, smearing lipstick everywhere. “It’s just so funny.” She waves a hand toward me. “This…child…helping me. No, dear, you could never help me.”
What is she talking about? I’m not helping her.
She shoves against the door and forces her way in, flinging herself down on a chair. She sits with her legs wide. Benny again steps between me and her. She looks past him to me.
“Do you really think he can protect you from me? I could crush your pretty little head with a snap of my fingers.”
I push Benny aside. I will not allow this…this…thing to come in here and act like she can take over my home. I have no idea what she’s talking about. I have more magic than she could even dream of. I think about waving my hand and whisking her out of my boat, but I don’t want to underestimate her.
“I’m immortal and a very strong ancestral witch. You couldn’t touch me if you wanted to. Now, what the hell are you doing here?”
She stands and wobbles a little. She stumbles toward me, and I notice she’s quite a bit shorter than me. She shoves a finger into my chest. Her nail stings. I take a step back.
“You wouldn’t last a moment against me,” she growls.
“Why are you here, Giselle?” I ask, tired of playing her silly games. Benny stands close to me, but he doesn’t say anything.
She wobbles again and holds her head. Then she shakes it off.
“I have a message for you.” She waves her hands in the air like she’s announcing the queen.
“From who?” I ask.
She winks at me. “Your mother.”
Chapter Twelve
My insides go cold. This can’t be happening. Lorena and I had an agreement. One in which she would leave me alone on the island. Why does she care what I do now?
“Lorena?”
“You only have one mother.” Giselle cackles again and backs away. She wanders around the tiny kitchen, picks up a used coffee cup, and sniffs. “Blech.”
I watch her for a moment, not sure what to say. A moment ago, Giselle was no threat at all, just a silly circus groupie who has a thing for Benny, but her bringing up Lorena changes everything.
Giselle said she had a message for me, but if I can stall her, she might reveal more than she planned. Lorena never plays fairly, so whatever message she has for me won’t be the full story.
Why can’t she leave me alone? I’m so close to figuring out all my problems.
“Can I get you something to drink or eat?” I ask. Benny looks at me funny, but I wink at him. Hopefully, he gets the hint I’m up to something.
Her eyes widen. “I doubt you have what I want to eat, little girl.”
“Try me.”
She scuttles across the room and waves her fingers next to my face. “Do you have alligator eyeballs and little girls’ toes?”
I swallow but don’t reveal my disgust. She has to be joking. “No.”
“What about the blood of kittens?”
I shiver. This girl is a complete nutcase.
“I don’t have that either.”
She cackles again, throws herself into the chair, and chews on the end of several strands of her hair. “I didn’t think so,” she mumbles.
I take the chair across from her. “Where is she?” I ask.
She stops chewing on her hair and cocks her head. “Who?”
“Lorena.”
She waggles her fingers in front of my face. “Wouldn’t you like to know? She told me you might try to trick me, but I’m not falling for it. No. I’m here to deliver a message, not
reveal anything about my mistress.”
I should’ve seen this coming. Giselle was always hanging around the fortuneteller’s tent.
“I see. She’s talked you into working for her. I did that once upon a time, and now I’m stuck on this island. She’ll do the same thing to you.”
Giselle shakes her head violently, her gross black hair whipping back and forth. “Oh, you poor pitiful little girl. Don’t you see? That’s what I want, to be here on this island forever. Lorena loves me. She told me all about you. How you betrayed her. How could you?”
It is so the other way around. This is obviously pointless. Lorena would never reveal to this girl what she’s really up to. In fact, Lorena probably met Giselle someplace random in case she spilled the beans on Lorena’s location.
“What’s the message you’ve been sent to deliver?” Time to get her out of my boat so I can have Benny all to myself again.
A creepy smile crawls across her face. “Lorena knows what you are doing. She demands that you stop.”
I roll my eyes and lean back. She knows I’m trying to destroy the island? She could hardly know that.
“What am I doing?”
Giselle shrugs. “Lorena didn’t tell me that. She told me to make sure you understand that you have to stop.”
“Or what?” I cross my arms. She doesn’t scare me.
“Or she’s coming back to make you listen.”
“Bring it. I’d love to see my mother again.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if she came all on her own, without Reken or me doing anything? That would be too easy though.
Giselle stands and puffs her chest up. “You have no idea what you are saying. She’ll incinerate you. She’ll curse the island, and everyone will suffer. Calamities like you’ve never seen will come upon you.”
I laugh in her face. “The island is already cursed. Besides, I have more power than she does.”
Let her take that back. Lorena might return to the island just to prove a point. In a fair fight, I think I’ll win. Though, Lorena rarely plays fair.
Circus of the Dead: Book 4 Page 9