Keeping Her Secret

by Sarah Nicolas

  Elise was the first to crack. It sounded like a cough, at first. She covered her mouth as a strange mewling escaped her lips. Dee turned away before an unmistakable laugh burst from her mouth. Finally, the twins joined in and everyone laughed openly. Riya scowled at her friends before smiling, relieved.

  “Sorry, that was mean,” Stefanie said.

  “So I’m not getting kicked out?” Riya said. “Where’s my stuff, then?”

  “It’s an old camp prank,” Tiffany added.

  Something twisted in Riya’s stomach. Courtney had pranked her? After the kisses and the confessions, Riya had assumed a cease fire at the very least.

  Dee took in Riya’s outfit—a plain white tee on top of a white sports bra and black volleyball shorts—and tossed her a blue sports bra from her dresser. “You’re going to need this.”

  Riya caught the sports bra and stared at it, still confused. “I don’t get it. Where’s my stuff?”

  “Put that on. One sec,” Dee said. She changed in record time, slipping on tennis shoes without tying them.

  Riya turned toward her bunk and changed into Dee’s sports bra, unsure why it was necessary.

  “You’re probably going to miss hiking.” She sounded apologetic as she led Riya outside.

  Halfway to the office side of the lake, the twins and Elise caught up, running until they fell into step with Riya. Tiffany French-braided her hair as she walked. If Riya still wasn’t so confused about where her stuff was, she would’ve asked Tiffany how she managed it. Riya could braid her hair and she could walk, but doing both at the same time would result in disaster, she was sure.

  Dee marched straight onto the beach and extended an arm, pointing at a dark shape about a third of the way across the lake. It looked to be a kayak with a dark lump in the seat.

  Riya stared at it, then turned to Dee, who nodded.

  “My stuff is out there?” She squinted at the lump. She supposed that could be her bag.

  “Yep,” Tiffany said.

  “Courtney pulled out an old favorite for this one,” Stefanie added.

  Riya glanced down at her borrowed sports bra. “So why do I need this?”

  Dee blushed a little. “I didn’t think you’d want to come out of the water wearing a white sports bra.” She raised her eyebrows at Riya, asking if she needed to explain further.

  That was thoughtful, but she still didn’t see why it was necessary. “I can just take another one of the kayaks out to get it, though.”

  Elise stepped forward, toeing the water. “All the others are chained and locked if it’s not designated lake time,” she said. “They leave one unlocked in case of an emergency.”

  Did everyone know the full playbook on this prank except for her? Volleyball camps never took place on lakes, so she was not familiar with this particular flavor of “hide someone’s stuff.”

  “So I have to swim out to get it.” She grew grateful for the borrowed sports bra.

  Her friends nodded. She couldn’t believe Courtney had done this to her after last night. It made Riya realize how serious she’d been about continuing on, business as usual. That she’d go to all this trouble, as terrible as she felt, to make everyone think nothing had changed made Riya’s stomach sink.

  “And make sure you don’t tip over the kayak on your way back,” Elise added, making a face. “Hypothetically. For example.” Nothing about that sounded hypothetical.

  Stefanie elbowed her. “I told you I’d go out and get it for you.”

  Elise smiled at her friend. “Some things you just gotta do for yourself.”

  “It’s farther than it looks,” Tiffany offered. “Pace yourself.”

  Dee glanced over her shoulder. Campers walked by in a steady stream, on their way to the first activity of the day. The hiking group would depart from the bonfire field in just a couple of minutes.

  “Go,” Riya said to Dee. “Thanks for the…you know.” She motioned at her chest area.

  “Are you sure? I feel bad leaving you,” Dee said.

  “You told Colt you’d be there,” Riya said, putting more cheer into her voice than she felt. “He’ll be heartbroken if you stand him up.”

  Dee cast one more glance at the kayak floating on the lake, then at Riya. “Thank you. And good luck.” She took off toward the bonfire area, walking on the boy’s side of the lake.

  Riya turned to the other three. “You guys don’t have to stay and watch me. Go do whatever you were planning on doing.”

  Elise glanced at Stefanie and gave Riya a sympathetic look. “We were going to make a dreamcatcher,” she said. “I was looking forward to it.”

  “Please, go.” Riya shooed her hands at them. “I’ll be fine.” The two walked away with their thanks and apologies.

  Tiffany plopped on the sand, sitting on her heels.

  “What are you doing?” Riya asked.

  “Dane’s not on duty yet,” Tiffany said. “He won’t be here for at least an hour. There aren’t any water sports planned until the second session.”

  Dane was one of the lifeguards, Riya remembered from the first night.

  “I’m a great swimmer,” Riya insisted. She didn’t want anyone to lose out on anything fun because of Courtney.

  “Tate Ramsden drowned to death,” Tiffany said with no further explanation. Tiffany was a woman of few words. She was stoic. Riya liked that. Usually, anyway.

  “Who is Tate Ramsden?”

  “He was a competitive swimmer at Dartmouth who died last year at a YMCA,” Tiffany said. “So I’ll be right here until you’re safely back on shore.”

  The thing about people who didn’t say much was no one could argue with the few things they did choose to say.

  Not wasting any time, Riya waded into the water and dove toward the center of the lake. As she sliced her arms through the calm surface in even strokes, doubts crept in to her thoughts. Courtney wanted to act like nothing had changed so much that she hauled all of Riya’s belongings to the middle of the lake while suffering one hell of a hangover. Riya couldn’t help wondering if, for Courtney, it was more than an act. If she’d regretted her drunken declarations and wanted to take them back. Or…maybe…the drunken declarations themselves had been part of a larger act. Courtney couldn’t be so cruel as to play that kind of prank on Riya.

  Could she?

  …

  Courtney went to archery that morning because she knew Bridget would be there. She did not know David would also be there. And Derek. Crap.

  Bridget only ever annoyed Courtney when she flirted. The girl subscribed to the belief that guys only liked stupid girls who never challenged them, so her giggles and inane agreements throughout the entire session had Courtney feeling nauseated all over again. Bridget, despite her inclination to act dumb and preference of talking about shallow things, was incredibly smart. Courtney considered willful ignorance a terrible waste. This morning, especially, it kept reminding Courtney of her own grand lie. No one could fully be who they were. Except Riya, who was so fiercely herself. Riya knew exactly who she was and lived her life without apologizing for it.

  Derek kept trying to make polite conversation, showing he harbored no hard feelings, which was sweet of him. Courtney wasn’t in the mood, though.

  Their instructor that day was one of the male counselors, so she told him she had “lady trouble” and he rapidly excused her to leave twenty minutes before the session ended. On her walk back to the cabin, she spotted dark clouds on the north horizon. She hoped they’d blow west instead of dumping rain on Pine Ridge.

  She walked straight to her cabin and dropped into her bed, tossing an arm over her eyes. She’d never allowed alcohol to do this to her before. After experiencing a hangover, she wondered why anyone did. Though David had drank twice what she did and seemed totally fine today, so maybe some took it better than others.

  Her eyelids drifted closed just as the doorknob rattled. Courtney startled awake. Framed by a rectangle of painful sunlight, a delightfully curvy fra
me Courtney knew well stood in the doorway. Before the door opened all the way, Courtney stood on her feet. Riya held a bundle over her shoulder like it was Santa’s bag. Her firm stomach was bare, and the blue sports bra and shorts she wore clung to her skin like saran wrap.

  She looked like a dream.

  “Riya.” Courtney rushed forward and grabbed Riya’s free hand.

  Riya shook it roughly, throwing Courtney’s hand off. The gesture stung.

  “Are you mad?” Courtney asked. “About the—”

  Riya’s eyes slid sideways, fast. Another figure entered the doorway. Stefanie. Or Tiffany. Courtney could never tell which was which. She carried Riya’s duffel. Courtney backed away from the towering twin, who glared at her.

  “What are you doing here?” the twin asked, moving to stand between Courtney and Riya.

  Her hostility switched on Courtney’s defensive systems. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. What are you doing here?”

  Riya grabbed for her bag in the twin’s hand. “Tiffany, it’s fine.” Riya tugged on the handle, turning the girl toward her. “Thank you so much for helping me.”

  Courtney watched Riya’s fingers brush Tiffany’s hand and her temper flared. Then she noticed Riya’s sports bra again. It was navy now that it was soaked, but probably royal blue dry. And Riya had definitely been wearing a white sports bra that morning. A blue one would have stood out underneath her thin white cotton shirt. Courtney’d even thought about it as she shoved the kayak out into the water. She remembered being grateful everyone would be busy at activities when Riya climbed out of the water—and regretful she would also miss it. But Tiffany had been there.

  “Where’d you get that?” Courtney asked, pointing at the mystery garment.

  Riya turned on her heel and followed Courtney’s outstretched finger. She frowned. “Dee gave it to me so I wouldn’t have to walk around here with my nipples visible for everyone to see. You know, because she cares about my feelings.” She marched over and heaved the bundle of bedding onto her bed before dropping her duffel to the floor and kicking it under Courtney’s bed.

  Oh, shit. Riya was mad.

  She unraveled the bundle and started making her bed. Tiffany walked to the bathroom, throwing daggers over her shoulder at Courtney, warning her.

  As soon as she heard the click of the bathroom stall door being locked, Courtney rushed to Riya, slipping her arms around her stomach. “Please don’t be mad,” she murmured into the back of Riya’s neck, her lips brushing Riya’s warm skin as they moved.

  Cold wetness seeped from Riya’s bra through Courtney’s shirt, and her damp shorts pressed directly against Courtney’s thigh. A single chill rocketed down Courtney’s spine. Riya spun in place, sliding the warm skin of her stomach against the insides of Courtney’s arms. When she faced Courtney, her expression was drawn tight in anger, but she softened almost immediately. When they stood like this, Riya’s chest fit nicely just below Courtney’s much smaller breasts.

  They fit together so perfectly.

  “Why did you do this?” Riya whispered. She slipped her arms around Courtney so her forearms hung on her hips.

  “We’re supposed to act normal, remember?” Courtney said.

  Riya shook her head, closing her eyes. “None of this is normal.”

  Courtney tilted her head down and kissed her left eyelid. Riya leaned into her lips and made a small, happy sound that shot a thrill through Courtney’s torso. Courtney kissed the indentation to the side of her eye, her left temple, the hollow of her cheek. Given enough time, she’d kiss every inch of Riya’s skin. Riya’s eyes fluttered open and focused on Courtney’s. They were a deep, rich brown flecked with golden sparks. Riya tilted her chin up and pulled Courtney’s hips into hers.

  Courtney’s pulse pounded through every part of her. While every single cell of Courtney’s body told her how right this felt and how perfect they were for each other, an encoded part of her brain kept trying to tell her it was wrong. A mistake. But how could anything that made her entire body hum with bliss be anything but absolute truth? Truth, with a capital T.

  She pressed her hands against Riya’s back, compelling her closer still. Riya’s lips parted, and Courtney stood entranced by their pillowy softness, by the soft brush of breath on the skin of her neck.

  The toilet flushed. Courtney and Riya jumped apart.

  Riya sighed and turned back to the task of making her bed. Courtney took a few steps away, unsure what to do with her gaze or her hands. Water ran in the sink for a couple of seconds before Tiffany turned it off and came back into the room.

  Tiffany spoke directly to Riya, like Courtney didn’t even exist. Probably a good thing, since Courtney had still failed to pull herself together. Her chest rose and fell too fast. Sweat dampened her armpits, so she clenched her arms tight to her sides.

  “Stefanie and Elise are checking out the campfire cooking thing after lunch,” Tiffany said. “You going to that?”

  “Sure.” Riya’s voice came out husky, which sent a jolt of satisfaction through Courtney.

  “You should get out of those wet clothes before we have to leave for lunch,” Tiffany suggested. Her tone held absolutely no flirtation in it, but Courtney vowed to watch her closely from here on out.

  “Right,” Riya mumbled, distracted. She bent over to pull a change of clothes out of her bag. Riya’s already short shorts slid up another half an inch, and Courtney’s desire flared like a fire engulfing a barrel of oil. Riya turned toward her bed and struggled to pull the wet sports bra over her head. The skin of her back was smooth, and the gentle curves of her shoulder blades gleamed like silk. Courtney’s mouth went dry. She found something else to stare at before Riya could shimmy out of the shorts.

  Courtney found herself fantasizing about what might have happened if Riya’d come back without her bodyguard. Suddenly, she realized both Tiffany and a fully clothed Riya stared at her expectantly.

  “Huh?” Courtney said.

  “We were wondering if you would deign to make an appearance at lunch?” Tiffany asked.

  Courtney narrowed her eyes at the girl’s mocking tone.

  “It’s your turn to get the food,” Riya clarified, the words rushing from her lips as she looked anywhere but at Courtney.

  Courtney nodded and gestured to the door, indicating they should all head over. The atmosphere among the three on the walk to the cafeteria was thick and palpable. The gray clouds on the horizon that morning had drifted closer and now hovered on the edge of the camp’s borders.

  Once they’d passed the youngest girls’ cabins, Colt jogged up to Courtney, calling her name and grinning like an idiot. “I’ve got great news,” he called.

  A couple feet from them, he stopped, catching sight of Riya. “Hey, we missed you on the hike. Dee said something came up.”

  “Maybe tomorrow,” Riya said before sidestepping him and rushing to the cafeteria. Tiffany followed.

  “What was that all about?” Colt asked.

  Courtney wondered why Delores hadn’t told him the truth. She’d known Riya liked Courtney and thought Courtney returned her feelings. If she suspected something was going on, Courtney doubted she’d keep their secret from Colt.

  “You have good news?” she reminded him, changing the subject.

  He watched her for a couple more seconds, evaluating her every facial twitch. Courtney pulled on a practiced mask and focused on keeping her body relaxed.

  “David’s dad is coming in for the talent show,” he announced, imbuing the words with great significance.

  Courtney waited for further explanation, but none came.

  “That’s good for him?” she said, confused. A lot of parents came a couple of hours early to check out the end-of-session talent show. Hers never did, but they were busy and couldn’t make the trip. “I didn’t realize David was going to perform.”

  Not getting the reaction he expected, Colt shook his hands in frustration. “You’re so self-absorbed.”

&
nbsp; Only her twin could say something like that to her and get away with it unscathed.

  “Rude.” She started walking toward the cafeteria. “Are you going to get to the point?”

  “David’s dad is the Board President of the Riverdrake Foundation.”

  With those last two words, her always graceful walk turned into a barely contained stumble. She hadn’t heard him correctly, no way. “That’s the one that gives scholarships for students pursuing degrees in the arts?” She needed confirmation.

  Colt nodded, a smug grin stretching across his face. “Full scholarships. Completely merit-based.”

  A cold sweat broke across her forehead, and her feet refused to take another step. “Shit.”

  Colt raised a hand to her elbow to steady her. “The good kind of shit, though, right?”

  Courtney laughed. “Yeah.” This could be her chance. She barely dared to hope for it. If she got a Riverdrake scholarship, she truly wouldn’t need her parents’ money to go to Juilliard—if she even got in, that was.

  Too many ifs, but just enough maybes to give her a glimmer of hope.

  “We have to pick a song.” Words spilled out of her in an agitated cadence. “I have to start choreographing it today. Only, like, two weeks. Not enough time, no time.”

  Firm hands gripped her shoulders, shaking her just enough to grab her attention. “Court. Chill. You got this.”

  She drew in a deep breath, then blew it out, puffing her cheeks. “I can do this.”

  In a way, the talent show in this mountain summer camp was now more important than her Juilliard audition, though they both depended on each other. And she should probably be a little nicer to David than she’d been this morning. It couldn’t hurt.

  “I have an idea about the song, actually,” Colt said, running a hand through his hair. “You remember Sergei Polunin’s dance to ‘Take Me to Church,’ right?”

  Courtney nodded. “But I can’t do that, everyone’s seen that video. I can’t be derivative.”

  Colt shook his head. “No. I mean, something similar. An edgy dance to a pop song. I’ve been working on a piano cover of Adele’s ‘Hello.’”