Finding Your Feet

by Cass Lennox

  “He added me on Facebook.”

  “What?” Sarah put her fork down. “I haven’t added you on Facebook.”

  They stared at each other in disbelief, then picked up their phones, added each other, and fell to eating their breakfast. Maple syrup and bacon, she discovered, was a revelation. As were pancakes, maple syrup, and bacon. Pretty much anything with maple syrup and bacon. This was last-meal kind of stuff. “Good God. How are Canadians not fat?”

  “Oh, we’re getting there.”

  Evie wouldn’t be able to appreciate a fry-up in quite the same way ever again. “We’ll have to dance this off tonight when we’re out with Gigi.”

  Sarah’s face lit up. Evie had told her about the plan to have Brock meet them and confront Gigi, and Sarah, naturally, was completely on board. Evie wasn’t sure how everything was going to play out, but she hoped this was the right step to take.

  “It’s just a pity that Tyler is working,” Evie said.

  Sarah waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about that. We have you covered.”

  Evie frowned, but before she could ask what that meant, her phone buzzed again multiple times. She picked it up to see several likes of her breakfast on Facebook, a friend request from Tyler, and another email from her mother.

  Evelyn, darling, I know you’re having a wonderful time, but remember what I told you about holiday eating and how it doesn’t digest differently just because you’re somewhere new. Doug is at home for a week and has only checked work emails four times. He sends his love. The vicar popped by today to try my kumquat tart and said he could see why it won the WI competition. Wimbledon is starting soon and I, for one, cannot wait for our annual strawberry cream tea while watching the ladies’ final. The vet is still sitting on those test results for Shep, and I’m wondering what our pet insurance really pays for. Shep seems to like being sick on my hydrangeas, and they’re starting to wilt. I’m really quite put out. Richard hasn’t contacted me—did you speak to him? Also I saw Mel in the village the other day. You remember your primary school friend, Mel? She was with her little daughters, and I have to say she was looking wonderfully well despite the second divorce and all that drama with HMRC. Why did you two fall out again? Yes, please bring back maple syrup for us. Missing you!

  Evie groaned and dropped her head back against her chair.

  “Gigi?” Sarah asked sympathetically.

  “Worse. My mother. And our dog is sick.”

  Sarah winced. “That sucks. You know, she kinda emails you a lot.”

  “We’re close.” Evie frowned at her phone. “Sort of. Is that unusual?”

  “You’re on vacation, so yeah, I think so. But don’t get me started on moms without boundaries.”

  Evie smiled and let it go. Sarah didn’t speak to her family for various good reasons, and Evie wasn’t about to compare her mother’s minor personality faults with Sarah’s mother’s not-so-minor drinking problem.

  Evie’s phone buzzed yet again, and she hesitated before checking it. Couldn’t she have a meal without being interrupted? But it was a message from Tyler: Bringing Godzilla today?

  She responded, Indeed.

  When she looked back up, Sarah had her chin propped on one hand, a knowing smile curving her mouth. Evie raised an eyebrow. “Gaybeard?”

  “Who was that?” Sarah asked. “Because it sure as hell wasn’t your mother.”

  Uh-huh. “It’s Tyler.”

  “Tyler, eh.” Sarah sat back, coffee in hand and eyes gleaming. “You don’t say.”

  Evie hadn’t mentioned their trip to the park or the development in their relationship, such as it was. Things were still so new. She had to remind herself of just how new, actually, because when they’d kissed yesterday, it had been like falling into the arms of someone she’d known forever but had forgotten about until that very moment. Maybe it was the close proximity of dancing for the four days beforehand, but she felt like nothing about him was new, yet everything was. It was a strange feeling.

  She’d spent a great deal of the previous evening mulling over Tyler’s confession about his ex. Part of her wanted to track Lucette down and slap the shit out of her, part of her wanted to wrap Tyler up and never let anyone hurt him again, and another part of her was shaken. He’d seemed so haunted. He’d also seemed a little uncertain, like he couldn’t trust this situation to work out well. He was fighting demons, she understood that, and he’d had to fight in order to tell her he liked her. The way his hand had shaken slightly, the way he’d tripped over his words—it was a big contrast to the smooth way he’d kissed her in the park. Like speaking was hard, but physical stuff was easy.

  Well, he was a dancer. Physicality was who he was. Yes, that part probably came easier. But he’d almost seemed relieved at sex being taken off the table.

  That wasn’t usual, in her experience, so she wasn’t sure how to read him. In Evie’s past relationships, she’d been the one to confess something unusual, to put on the brakes, to negotiate space and time. People seemed to expect relationship events to happen in a certain order, and delaying sex was apparently weird (and for some, a total deal breaker), even though she’d argue it really wasn’t. Tyler didn’t behave like those people. Which, hey, wonderful, but it was odd to feel like she was the one slowing down to his speed this time.

  It was a nice feeling.

  And not one she could think about too much, because Sarah now looked suspiciously gleeful. “Whatever you’re thinking, Sarah, it’s wrong.”

  “I’m not thinking anything,” Sarah said innocently.

  “You’re always thinking something.”

  “Just thinking you look happy.” She sipped her coffee. “In fact, you’re practically glowing.”

  Evie groaned. “Give it a rest.”

  “No.” Sarah put her coffee down, her face serious. “Evazilla, for real? Since you’ve been here, Tyler has been so different. You have no idea how much I’ve tried to get that guy out of his shell and back into the dating scene. Then you come here with your badass accent and fancy footwork, and suddenly he’s cheered up and chatty. He’s almost back to the guy I knew before his shit-stain of an ex.”

  Ah yes, the ex. Sarah and Bailey had mentioned the ex before, and now Evie understood why they’d been reluctant to go into detail about her. “He’s spoken about her. She sounded less than . . . pleasant.”

  Sarah’s mouth flattened. “I never liked her. She was so sweet it had to be fake, and such a drama queen, and nothing was ever good enough. I don’t know why Ty liked her. She kept tabs on him, you know? Always calling or texting him, or asking why he hadn’t called or texted her. The last six months of their relationship, I didn’t see Ty once. Once. She wouldn’t let him meet with anyone. I heard rumours that she cheated too.”

  Sarah’s whole body was leaning forward, hands gesturing angrily. “And when he left her and I saw him again, I was shocked at the difference in him. Shocked. It was like his soul had been drained out of him.” Sarah pushed her now-empty plate away a little rougher than was warranted. “He’s better now, way better, but she twisted shit in his head, and if I ever see her in Toronto again, I will personally gut her like a fish.”

  Evie had never, ever seen Sarah like this. “Jesus Christ, Sarah.”

  Sarah exhaled sharply. “It was bad. So you two? I am so happy you two are doing this competition. You’re good for him. Believe me, you are. I haven’t seen him happy like this in a long time. And I know you like him, so stop telling me you don’t.”

  Evie pushed her plate away too. “Fine,” she admitted. “I do. But I’m leaving in a week. So even if something did happen and even if we make each other happy, there are no guarantees that it’ll get serious. Don’t get too invested in an idea of him and me.”

  Sarah rolled her eyes. “Oh gosh, three months of separation; such an insurmountable hardship. Come on, Evie. The expression on your face when you checked your phone wasn’t holiday fling. No way.”

  “Seriously, don�
��t make this bigger than it is. Plus, think of Tyler. He’s got worse issues than me around relationships.”

  Sarah slapped the table. “See? You care. That’s what I’m talking about.”

  Evie shrugged and eyed her coffee. She was so full, she wasn’t sure she could drink another drop. “We shall see how things play out.”

  “Jesus. Stop being so practical.”

  Evie smiled. “I’m English. Practicality is the order of the day.”

  She was doubting that statement a few hours later when she arrived at the school twenty minutes ahead of schedule because she was so eager to see Tyler. Yup, super “practical.” She found the practice room empty and dumped her things at the wall, deciding to take her time warming up. Putting her earbuds in, she turned on her Cure album and started moving.

  Evie closed her eyes and reacted to the music, choosing to let memories of the previous day’s park session drift through her head. The blinding hope and disbelief when he’d kissed her. The sheer joy and sense of rightness when he’d wrapped his arms around her. His lips, his hands, the feel of his skin under hers, and his solid body beside her own. His lips especially: she loved kissing. She could have kissed him all night. She wanted to. Would be happy to kiss him, and more, in spite of her limit on sex.

  Which, she noted wryly, was why she’d set that limit in the first place. They liked each other, which was beyond wonderful, but as much as he did like her, she was fairly sure that “casual” remark meant her feelings were stronger than his. She didn’t want to handle those feelings if this turned sexual, because she’d been through that before, with people who could separate sex and feelings, and it had hurt.

  She opened her eyes and gazed at herself in the practice room mirror. She’d lost a little weight and gained some definition after all the dancing, even though it had only been five days. Her face and shoulders were turning brown from being in the sun, her body seemed more poised and controlled, her posture had improved. She did glow. Sunshine and good food and great company were having an effect.

  Or perhaps she was just happy.

  Either way, she looked different. Evie had long given up trying to see herself in a sexual way—she just couldn’t see what was “sexy,” whatever the hell that meant—but looking at her reflection now, she thought she seemed way healthier and just generally better than she had in quite a while. She lifted her leg and arms in a controlled sweep around her body, liking how she looked like a dancer.

  She closed her eyes and spun around, taking the space she wanted. It felt wonderful to move like this. She wanted to move and sway to the music, so she did, letting it carry her around the room. If nothing else, this trip had brought her a new connection to herself. Tyler had shown her this, how to channel music and feelings through her arms and legs and face and hips. She made a promise to herself never to forget it.

  The door opened and Tyler came in, a shy smile on his face. Evie smiled back, but kept moving. The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” beat into her ears as Tyler approached her from behind. She watched as he slid into step with her, entwining one arm around her and kissing her neck.

  “What are you listening to?” he murmured.

  “The Cure.” She pulled out an earbud, wiped it, and handed it to him.

  He chuckled at the song as they listened and swayed to the music. “It’s only Thursday.”

  “Hush, I’m watching the walls.”

  That earned her a full-on hug from behind and a nuzzle at her throat. He sighed appreciatively and shivers ran through her. She pulled out the other earbud and turned off her phone, then spun around to hug him fully.

  “Hi.”

  His warm brown eyes met hers. “Hey, Godzilla.”

  How on earth had she ever found him mean looking?

  She breathed him in, loving the mix of cologne and sweat. “I never told you why Sarah calls me Evazilla, did I?”

  “Nah, you didn’t.”

  “It’s my Tumblr name.” She took his hands and stepped back. He spun her around, and when she was facing him again, she added, “The full thing is queen-evazilla.”

  He grinned. “Suits you.”

  “Sarah calls me that because we called each other by our Tumblr names for ages.” She tried not to laugh. “I still have trouble not calling her Gaybeard in company.”

  He fumbled a step. “What?”

  “Her Tumblr name is gaybeard-the-great.”

  He laughed. “Oh, that’s rich. I’m going to have a field day with that.” He ran his hands up and down her back lightly. “Queen Evie, how are you doing today?”

  Evie put on a posh accent. “Her Royal Evieness is majestic. How are you, loyal subject?” They swayed together, then by unspoken signal moved into a few steps from the routine.

  “I’m great.” His hands spread on her lower back and pulled her closer, his smile lighting up his face. “So, so great.”

  The door opened and they pulled apart. Katie marched in, Brock behind her. Evie and Tyler paused as Katie stormed up to them, her red hair awry around her face.

  “You two are in deep shit,” she spat. “I spent hours, hours, looking for you yesterday. Do you think this is a joke? That I’m doing this for fun? You signed documentation agreeing to being filmed and interviewed and to participate in this, and I am considering you two professionals and holding you to that, and I am not okay with you two ducking out of this.”

  Whoa. Talk about apples and trees. Evie glanced at Tyler, who looked just as taken aback as she felt.

  “It might just be a stupid university project to you, but I need this grade,” Katie continued, “and I’m not getting a lot of help making it work.”

  Brock looked up from tinkering with the camera, a hurt expression on his face. “Hey—”

  “Therefore, after today’s practice, we are going to go wherever you two disappeared to yesterday”—Katie’s eyes drilled holes into both of them—“and we’re going to shoot twenty stupid minutes of footage of you two dancing and answering my stupid questions, and we’re going to pretend yesterday didn’t happen. Because I am not fucking around here. Is that understood?”

  “Oh yeah,” Tyler said.

  Evie nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. We’re sorry.”

  “Terribly sorry. Won’t happen again.” Not if she reacted like this. Good God.

  Katie sighed and pulled gum out of her pocket. “Christ, the people in this competition,” she muttered, unwrapping it and turning around. “I’m going to have an aneurysm at the age of twenty-one, Jesus fuck . . .”

  Evie turned back to Tyler. “You heard her,” she said quietly so Katie wouldn’t hear. “No more messing around, Tyler.”

  Tyler rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I had no idea she was this invested.” He nudged her. “Totally worth it. And as long as we do today’s interviews with Godzilla, I’ll be happy.”

  “And you,” Katie was saying to Brock. “If I see you so much as give a thumbs-up to them, I will have the professor dock your grade so low you’ll need another semester to graduate.”

  Brock’s face was a study in puppy eyes. “I told you I was sorry about the other day.”

  Katie held up her hand. “I could not be any less interested right now. Now turn the camera on, and let’s get this shit-show on the road.” With that, she turned and slumped onto the floor, chewing fiercely.

  Tyler’s mood had lifted substantially the closer he got to the practice session. When he’d shown up and seen Evie already in the room, swaying in a world of her own, his chest had threatened to burst. He could hardly believe it was okay for him to go up to her and touch her the way he had. Standing here now, even with Katie shouting at them, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this happy.

  Or this nervous. He was glad she’d taken his history so well, but what if he continued to freak out on her? What if he accidentally hurt her again? He didn’t want to keep imagining Lucette in his head every time something happened.

  Ev
ie took her starting position, and he put his MP3 player into the stereo. He pressed Play, and practice began.

  That electricity manifested itself again. So did the footwork. He watched in delight as Evie kept up with the music, and when he joined in, everything came together. She only fumbled a few times near the end of the song, and while the routine wasn’t as slick as he’d envisaged, he knew they were almost ready for Saturday.

  At the end of it, Evie went to him, her face alight. “Oh my God, Tyler, I can do this!”

  He took her hands, smiling back at her. Her whole body seemed lifted with joy. Infectious. Sexy. Not that she seemed aware of how attractive she was, especially when she was all lit up like this. “Of course you can. I’m your teacher.” She huffed and swiped at him. He dodged her easily, then spun her around and went back to the stereo to start the song over. “Now do it again.”

  By the time Tyler called a break, they were just about making it through the routine without messing up at all. They were tiring from the pace though, and Tyler knew the more tired they got, the more mistakes they’d make. He didn’t want Evie to be discouraged, not when she was doing so well.

  She flopped on the floor like she always did. “Bloody hell,” she muttered. “I shouldn’t have had that brunch this morning.”

  “Brunch?”

  “With Sarah.” Evie started listing off the food. “Pancakes, bacon, eggs, French toast, orange juice, so much coffee, maple syrup—”

  “Stop,” he begged. “You’re making me feel sick.”

  “How are you able to dance like that after all that food?” Katie asked.

  Evie glanced into the camera. “I’m British and I live in the north; fried food is a cuisine unto itself.”

  The interviews went on as usual, until things started getting silly. Evie pulled Godzilla out and answered questions holding him. Tyler took his turn, with Godzilla on his head. Evie found it hilarious to “accidentally” poke Tyler as he answered a question, and he made faces behind the camera as she answered hers. After a particularly furious glare from Katie, they both settled and returned to the routine.

  Tyler was very aware that this was their second to last session together. Tomorrow would be the last practice before the actual performance on Saturday. They’d have to meet up before she left. Do something together that wasn’t dancing or eating. He was free on Sunday; it was his first entirely free day in weeks. He’d ask her after the session and make sure they did something as memorable for her as Niagara Falls.