by AmyJ
Then again, how could she marry her childhood friend? "I need to think on it,"
she said finally. There was no way she could think clearly with him next to her.
"Give me two days. I will have my answer to you by then."
It was not the answer he had hoped for, but it was a fair request. "Thank you, Li'l Beth."
Elizabeth spent the remainder of the morning in quiet contemplation. Her mind was too full to remind her she had yet to break her fast; so after she left Darcy at Oakham Mount, she walked through an open field behind Longbourn.
Darcy had made her an offer of marriage! For the second time in as many
weeks, she was facing a marriage proposal she did not expect, nor want. At least Fizzy has more to recommend him.
Her dilemma weighed heavily on her as she recalled the earnestness with
which Darcy spoken. Had he requested anything but marriage, she would have
readily and heartily consented, if only to ease his burden. She would have even agreed to become Georgiana's paid companion had he asked. But marriage?
She wondered how long he had been considering this proposal. Was this the reason he had come to Hertfordshire? If so, why did he not say something sooner?
She picked up a switch and effortlessly lay to waste the tall brown grass in front of her. It was perhaps unfair to punish the foliage for her consternation, but they did not protest, and she needed some way to vent her frustration
before returning to the house.
"Insufferable man!" she scoffed aloud. With a chuckle, she imagined her mother's wailings should she discover Darcy's offer. "I dare say even Papa would be hard pressed to decline such an offer," she muttered to herself. The next minute she grunted in vexation. "Now he has me talking to myself.
Insufferable, insufferable man!"
She continued walking; cutting a path in front of her with the stick. If only she could discount this proposal as quickly as she had Mr. Collins'; but the
marriage did offer many advantages. She chuckled recalling Mr. Collins words,
‘You are not likely to receive another offer...' She wondered what her mother would say if she learned that had Elizabeth accepted Mr. Collins' offer, it would have prevented Darcy from proposing. She could hear her mother's effusions, should she accept Darcy's proposal. "Ten thousand a year! What pin money!
What carriages you shall have, Lizzy!"
She took a deep breath. Surely there is a logical, rational way to consider the offer. Acceptance would mean securing her family's well being. Her mother
and sisters would no longer have to be worried about "being cast into the hedgerows" should anything befall her father. She would never receive a more advantageous offer; few in England would. Should she decline the offer, she would likely become a spinster; one simply did not turn down two proposals
and expect to receive a third.
There were worse fates. She thought once more of her friend, Charlotte, who had agreed to marry Mr. Collins solely for the security he provided. She shook her head. No, she would rather go into service than marry the likes of Mr.
Collins. Fizzy was no Mr. Collins though. Fizzy was intelligent, loyal,
respectable, and compassionate. More importantly, they were good friends.
They talked, teased one another, and were comfortable enough in each other's presence not to feel the necessity for idle talk. Not even her parents could claim that. There was one element missing though; one crucial element. Love.
She had always intended to marry for love. A tiny smile graced her lips as she recalled the many late nights she and Jane would discuss their wedding. It was always a double wedding, for she could never imagine leaving Jane, nor Jane leaving her. The church was prettily arranged with white flowers. That detail came from Jane, and despite Elizabeth's preference to be married in the church courtyard, she conceded that point knowing their mother would never permit it.
Location aside, Jane and Elizabeth would walk down the aisle, each holding
one of their father's arms; Elizabeth on the left, Jane on the right.
Elizabeth stopped her musings for a moment, wondering why it was always
that way. Why was she always on the left? She shook her head. It was not
important. The important fact was when they reached the front of the church,
they would each take the arm of their betrothed and look lovingly into their eyes. The vows would be recited with reverence and understanding that
nothing could separate the two couples, because they loved each other.
She sighed wistfully. She only had to look at her own parents to see what
happened when a couple did not respect and love each other; yet she had also heard stories of marriages of convenience that had turned out well.
Mischievously, she thought perhaps the announcement of her engagement to
Darcy would induce Bingley to make an offer of marriage himself. She and
Jane could then still fulfil their childhood fantasy, at least part of it.
Her head began to throb, so she headed back to the house, grateful there would still be time to think on things before an answer was required.
Darcy returned to Netherfield with a mixture of guilt and elation.
Unexpectedly, he had laid his burdens before Elizabeth. Their friendship had prevented her from rejecting his proposal outright; she was sympathetic to his plight. Elizabeth had always had a strong sense of justice and a compassionate heart.
Still, he could not help feeling a twinge of remorse. He had not wanted to say anything to her before he had made up his own mind; yet seeing her at Oakham Mount had only solidified how like minded they were. Before he knew it, he
was talking her into accepting his offer of marriage.
He smiled to himself. It had felt good to speak to someone of this matter. Now, at least by presenting the idea to Elizabeth, he could come to some closure. If she said yes, they would be married. If she said no, he hoped they could remain friends and he would find a partner in another corner. It sounded cold and
unfeeling, but then as they had both stated earlier that morning, this was not about love.
Now everything was out in the open; it was a matter of waiting. He was
resolved to give Elizabeth the time she requested to ponder the situation,
without interference or influence. For his part, that would be easy. He could keep himself busy with Bingley and matters of the estate. Georgiana was
another matter though.
It had already been two days since she had seen Elizabeth, and with the
weather being more amiable, she would be itching to visit Longbourn again.
He would have to find ways to entertain her away from Longbourn. Perhaps a
few days tending to her studies was in order. He had allowed them to become somewhat neglected to encourage her friendship with Elizabeth; perhaps now
would be a good time to catch up.
Unfortunately, that morning, a message from Longbourn arrived inviting all of Netherfield to tea. Bingley and Georgiana, as expected, showed a great interest, and before Darcy could respond otherwise, the affirmative response was sent.
Just before the appointed time, Darcy begged off. He knew he could not arrive at Longbourn. Elizabeth needed time to consider his offer, and he was
determined she have it. Georgiana was another matter.
Recalling, however, that Miss Bingley and the Hursts were also to attend the tea, he decided to allow Georgiana to attend as well. Miss Bingley would insist on a short visit, and therefore little harm could be done. He hoped Elizabeth would not be angry and think he had sent Georgiana to persuade her.
Elizabeth sat nervously in the drawing room, waiting for the Netherfield party to arrive. How was she to carry on a conversation with Mr. Darcy after this morning? She desperately wanted to excuse herself, but knew her mother
would be angry if she did. She knew very well Mrs. Bennet look
ed to her to
distract the others and give Mr. Bingley and Jane time alone.
When the party was announced, she was relieved Darcy was not amongst them.
She was a little dismayed to see Georgiana, but based on the greeting she
received from that girl, she knew Georgiana was none the wiser. She had no
doubt Darcy had absented himself from the gathering because of their
discussion that morning, and was grateful he was giving her the promised the time to mull over things.
Throughout the visit, Elizabeth struggled to attend the conversations around her. Much of it revolved around gossip from town, about people she had never heard of. Before she knew it, the party was taking their leave.
Finally, night came, and Elizabeth was able to escape to her room. She sat on the bed, lost in thought as she waited for Jane to finish brushing out her hair.
Suddenly, she heard her sister addressing her. "Lizzy, what troubles you?" Jane asked in her comforting older sister voice. "It is not Mama, is it?"
Elizabeth put on her best unaffected smile. "It is nothing. Nothing at all, Jane."
She was a little dismayed when Jane joined her on the bed, clearly looking to talk. She was not very good at hiding things from her sister, and she could tell Jane was not about to give up so easily.
"You have been pensive all day. Will you not tell me what troubles you? You know I shall keep it to myself," Jane said.
There was a long silence as Elizabeth contemplated whether or not to discuss Darcy's offer with her sister. Finally, hoping it might help her come to some sort of conclusion, she said, "Very well. I must tell someone. If you must know, he asked me to marry him." She watched as Jane's eyes grew wide.
"Mr. Darcy, right? Lizzy, did Mr. Darcy ask you to marry him?"
Elizabeth was a bit taken back by her sister's enthusiasm. Uncertain how to respond, she simply nodded.
"Did you accept him?"
"I told him I needed to think on it." She watched as Jane's brow knit together in confusion. She realized then, Jane believed there to be more between her and Darcy than friendship. Apparently her sister's feelings towards Mr. Bingley were colouring her view of Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship.
"Do you love him, Lizzy?"
"No Jane, I do not; nor does he love me." Elizabeth hesitated before decided how much to tell her sister. Eventually, she explained Darcy's agreement with aunt and uncle -- leaving out the reason for the agreement -- and that the
proposal had been made based on their friendship. She then went to explain all the reasons she felt she should accept the proposal.
When Elizabeth finished, Jane exhaled forcibly. Cautiously she said, "Lizzy, if you do not think you can be happy with Mr. Darcy, do not marry him. I beg this of you. I could not bear to see you married to a man simply out of duty to the family." With a smirk she added, "Though I must say, Mr. Darcy is a far better prospect than Mr. Collins!"
At the mention of Mr. Collins, Elizabeth could not help laughing, which lifted the serious air that had encompassed the two of them. After joking around for a few more minutes, the two settled under the counterpane together and blew out the candles.
Elizabeth went to sleep with a smile on her face. She was no closer to making a decision, but Jane had brought some levity to her thoughts. For that she was thankful.
Chapter Eleven
Two days after his talk with Elizabeth, Darcy woke with anticipation. Today could determine the rest of his life. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and looked at the window. It was still dark, with no sun filtering through. He glanced at the clock and his heart sank; he should have seen daylight. He
dashed to the window where a grim sight met him. The sky was dark, with
heavy clouds and rain was steadily pelting the glass pane. He looked to the ground below, and saw large, muddy puddles. It had rained most of the night.
The roads would be in no condition for travel, by foot or by horse.
He would not be getting his answer today. His shoulders slumped with the realization. With nothing to anticipate but a day indoors with Miss Bingley, he trudged back to the bed.
Back at Longbourn, however, Elizabeth was not quite so displeased. Despite
the fact that she would have to spend the day indoors, the rain was a welcome reprieve. She could put off the inevitable one more day.
The following morning, Hertfordshire welcomed the rays of sun that broke
through the grey clouds. The roads, while passable, were still heavy with
murky pools of water.
Elizabeth donned a simple morning gown. It was not only her favourite, but
also had the advantage of being darker in colour, and would more easily hide the dirt. She pulled her hair up in a simple fashion and pinched her cheeks to improve on her complexion. The collected appearance covered a flutter of
spirits within. Whatever the outcome, it would be a memorable day.
After sneaking a warm breakfast roll from the kitchen, she headed outdoors
and in the direction of Oakham Mount. She walked slowly, and kept to the
main lanes in an effort to protect her petticoat. She did not want to arrive splattered in mud.
She bit into her roll and savoured the sweetness. She wondered if Pemberley's cook knew how to make such confections? Most likely she did; the Darcys
always hired the best.
When she arrived at her destination, she was not entirely surprised to find Darcy already waiting.
"Good morning, Li'l Beth," Darcy greeted, trying not to sound too eager.
"Good morning, Fizzy."
An awkward silence enveloped them, neither one certain how to approach the
topic that hung between them.
"Have you decided then?" He swore under his breath at how abrupt that sounded. Surely he could have been more eloquent.
"I am sorry. I do not have the pleasure of understanding you." The twitch of the corner of her mouth however belied the truth.
Darcy rolled his eyes. She was not going to make to things easy. "The answer to my question. The one I asked you three days ago."
"I can not seem to recall it. Perhaps you could be so kind as to remind me?"
Darcy took a slow breath. Teasing woman! He decided to counter coy with the dramatic. Despite the wet ground, he dropped to a knee and took her hands in his. "Li'l Beth. I have known you to be a truly amazing, though often
infuriating, woman." He returned the smile that lit her eyes with his own. "Will
you save me from marriage to a woman I barely know? Will you save me from a lifetime in the company of the likes of Miss Bingley? Will you save me from a lifetime of suffering? Will you do me a great honour, and consent to be my wife?"
Elizabeth smiled, delighted at the picture in front of her. It would likely never happen again. Fitzwilliam Darcy on his knees begging? Finally she said with a smile, "Yes, Fizzy. I will rescue you from a lifetime of suffering the likes of Miss Bingley and marry you."
Darcy laughed mirthfully; part out of relief, part in reaction to her teasing response. He stood and kissed her hands, a broad smile cracked his features.
"Thank you."
The two moved to the fallen log that served as a bench. Silence reigned.
Neither one was sure what to say next. "How many know of your need to
marry?" Elizabeth finally asked.
"Not many. My Aunt and Uncle Fitzwilliam, Richard, Stephen, and of course, Lady Catherine." He turned towards her. "I would like to keep it that way."
Elizabeth nodded. Then after a few moments she asked, "What will you tell Georgiana?"
"That we are engaged. She does not need to know why." He waited until she was looking at him. "Li'l Beth, for Georgiana's sake, I would like us to try to give her an example other than that of a cold marriage of convenience. I think our friendship is somewhere in between a romantic love and a business
proposition. The pretence would not
have to be much. Maybe taking my arm
when we walk, allowing me to hand you in and out of the carriage, and sitting near me in company. Would you be comfortable with that?" He looked down at the ground to hide his embarrassment at talking of these intimacies.
"That does not sound too daunting. But I thought you abhorred disguise of every sort!" She let out a little giggle. Seeing he did not find the same humour in the situation, she sobered. "And what will you tell Mr. Bingley and your other friends?"
"The same as Georgiana; that we are engaged." He could not help the hint of a smile that peeked out. "Our reasons are of no concern to them."
"My father will ask."
Darcy was silent for several minutes. "If you think it necessary, I will inform him of the truth. I trust his discretion."
After several minutes, Elizabeth said, "Fizzy. I would be more comfortable knowing we had your family's blessing. I would not want cause a familial rift."
"That is why you will be perfect as my wife."
Elizabeth blushed at the term wife. She had not yet gotten used to thinking of herself that way.
"I would like to obtain your father's permission and then I will travel to London to speak with my uncle. We can hold off any public announcement until I
return."
Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "I would like to be with you when you speak to my father. He may not be so... amenable."
Darcy readily agreed, relieved she made such a request. It was one thing to ask for a daughter's hand in marriage if you were in love. It was quite a different thing to discuss one's daughter as a bartering tool.
The two stood and began to walk back towards Longbourn. "Fizzy, if you were to fall in love before we married, you would tell me, right?"
Darcy looked at Elizabeth in surprise. "But I would be engaged to you."
Elizabeth stopped and looked up at him. He could tell she was in earnest. "I would not want you to marry me if you had fallen in love with someone else.
Promise me that if you find someone who touches your heart, you will tell me.
I would not have two people suffer on my account."
Darcy nodded solemnly. "I promise. But you must promise the same."
It was still early when Darcy and Elizabeth arrived at Longbourn, and