My Life From Hell

by Tellulah Darling

  Hannah cocked an eyebrow. “They been kissing much?”

  Festos nodded enthusiastically before I could answer. “Tons.”

  Theo let go of my chin, stepped back, and looked at me for a moment. “We’re good,” he said and checked me over again. “Nyx good.”

  Fee squealed and turned me around to face the mirror. Staring back at me was a really hot stranger with whom I was quite willing to get more familiar. My eyes were huge and all mysterious. My royal blue dress was crazy scandalous. For me. The long sleeved top was loose and blousy, but it turned into an über-tight mini skirt at the hips. While the neckline in front was high, the back plunged down to my waist. There was no bra-wearing tonight.

  Hannah had helped paint my nails and toes a matching blue, and I wore very low heeled silver sandals since I wanted to be able to dance. With all the running and weight training to amp my strength and stamina, my legs looked crazy sexy.

  I wore my hair down, the loose curls tumbling to my shoulders in the best sultry bedhead imaginable. My only jewelry was Hannah’s silver cuff over the top of my right sleeve. And of course my sapphire pendent, which I never took off. I had the pendent tucked under my dress. Shimmery lip gloss completed my va-va-voomness.

  “I love it!” I clapped my hands in delight and beamed at my friends. “Seriously, you guys. Thank you so much. For everything. I really did need this. Need all of you.”

  They shrugged it off in varying degrees of modesty, except for Fee who announced, “D’uh. That’s why I suggested it.”

  I flung my arm around his neck. “Okay hot bunch, let’s dance, drink, and be merry for tomorrow—”

  Theo cut me off with a shake of his head. “Don’t even finish that bad paraphrase.” He left the room.

  We waited with Festos in the living room while Theo got dressed. Festos rocked a kind of retro 80s London vibe. He wore dark green slightly baggy pants that were a bit long through the crotch and rolled up at the ankle, revealing black wool socks and matte shoes. His shirt was the same green as his pants, topped with a short fitted charcoal jacket, and matching scarf.

  He’d rolled the cuffs of both his shirt and jacket back in a jaunty “couldn’t care less” kind of way and topped his blue hair with a fedora that matched the color and fabric of his jacket.

  “Admire me all you like, kiddies,” he encouraged from his sprawled out pose on the low red leather love seat.

  We did, until we saw Festos bolt up, and turned to see what he was gawking at. My breath caught. “Hannah, I’m feeling wrong feelings.”

  “Indeed,” she murmured.

  Even the eye roll Theo shot us could not detract from the uncomfortable reality of how amazingly GQ incredible he looked.

  He sported a black skinny suit thrown on over a black striped tone-on-tone T-shirt. He’d lost his glasses for the night and slicked down his usually dark spiky hair. Very Mad Men.

  I’d seen Theo in suits before. Most recently at our school’s Winter Formal. And he’d looked very handsome. But more “good boy for cleaning up so nicely and even buttoning up your collar.” Nothing like this. Looking at Theo right now, so sleek and tailored, I realized this was the first time I’d seen him with some confident swagger.

  I’d seen many sides of my friend; snarky, annoyed, loyal, and sadly—lately—far too serious. But Theo had never given off that vibe of supreme conviction that I was used to from other gods. An arrogant sense of self. Which made me wonder what he’d been like as Prometheus. And how much he’d tempered his personality to better fit in as a human. Being around Festos, maybe Theo was showing his true colors.

  And those colors ran the full spectrum of man-candy edible.

  I swallowed hard. Twice. And continued to stare dumbly at him.

  “You never looked like this for us,” Hannah sputtered.

  By this point, Festos had limped over to Theo. He smoothed a lapel down and gazed at his boyfriend. “This one’s all mine.”

  Hannah cocked her head toward the handsome couple. “Real hardship living with that,” she said to me.

  “I despair,” Theo said as he grinned across the room at us. He took Festos’ hand. Hannah and I took that cue to also link ourselves to Festos, and in the blink of an eye, we’d left Seattle behind as he transported us away.

  Almost immediately, we found ourselves outside, under a starless night sky. Before us lay a black infinity pool full of flat rocks that pulsed with a gentle light. The rocks marked a path toward, well, even more darkness.

  “You’re sure this is the right place?” I asked.

  “Oh, ye of little faith,” Festos said. “Come.”

  Festos jumped from rock to rock across the pond with surprising agility, given his twisted foot and the fact that he’d left his cane at home.

  The stones didn’t sway at all but I was still glad I’d worn low heels as I made my way across. I yelped as I saw something slither in the water, rippling the still surface.

  Theo glanced down. “A little something for unwanted guests.”

  Even though I was apparently worthy of attending Nyx, I reached the ground on the far side with a sigh of relief. Now that I was up close, I realized I’d been completely mistaken about the darkness ahead. There wasn’t just night before me. More like an absence of everything, woven into a pulsating barrier.

  “Yeah, so that’s creepy.” I craned my neck up, attempting—and failing—to see where the barrier ended. I looked down and scanned the section in front of me. There didn’t seem to be a door or a gate. “How do we get in?”

  I poked gingerly at the barrier, felt the energy pouring off whatever it was, and decided I really didn’t want to be touching it after all. I tried to pull my hand away.

  But I was stuck fast.

  And that’s when the barrier pulsated outwards and slithered over my arm.

  Five

  I shrieked, trying to tug myself free with all my might.

  Festos sighed and placed his palm against the barrier.

  I shivered involuntarily but it didn’t rip his hand off. Instead, threadlike strands of fiery purple and orange seemed to swim up from the depths of the barrier and wriggle their way toward Festos. The strands merged to form a glowing “N” under his palm.

  I was able suddenly to pull my hand away.

  Hannah gasped.

  “Such theatrics,” Theo said.

  “I know,” said Festos with a saucy grin, choosing not to interpret Theo’s comment as a slight. Part of the wall slid noiselessly away to admit us, and just like that we were through.

  The space beyond was filled with people. I stepped inside, bouncing on my toes in wonder.

  “I get to say ‘I told you so’ now, right?” Festos sounded smug.

  “I’ll give you this one,” I replied, half-turning, unsure of where to ogle first. “Membership does indeed have its privileges.”

  I’d expected some kind of posh building. But no, we stood on the top level of a colosseum. Very much like the one found in Rome, including, I guessed, its size. The one obvious difference was that this space was set down into the earth, rather than sitting on top of it. So while I was on the fourth floor of the ringed arena, I was on ground level. I could see all the floors below me, sloping down and away, since the inner walls were only about waist high and topped with railings.

  And this colosseum had a roof. The outside wall on the top tier curved up into a ceiling with a tiled pattern—thousands of white, dark purple, and lavender tiles, all seemingly lit from within. As I stared up, some tiles got brighter while others dimmed. I found myself getting lost in the trippiness of it all.

  Theo waved a hand in front of my face. “Look at something else for a bit. You’re swaying.”

  I was getting a little dazed so I turned my attention to the four levels. Through the archways ringing each tier, I saw that every level boasted a multitude of cozy seating areas in sleek, dark groupings. Balls of light—not flame, not torches, just golden balls of light—were mounted every fe
w feet along the walls. They gave the impression of millions of candles, adding a much needed intimacy to the cavernous space. So did the oases of greenery centered around the flowing water features, that dotted each floor.

  The electronica that played through invisible-yet-perfectly calibrated speakers grabbed me in my gut and in my hips, making me want to abandon myself to swaying sensuality. But the music took second place to the clientele. Gods, goddesses, demigods—this was the place for the Greek pantheon to see and be seen. Everyone looked young and beautiful in a way that mere airbrushed mortals could only fantasize about.

  It wasn’t all human forms either. I saw centaurs chatting up daemonae, and on the floor below, a siren held court amidst male and female admirers.

  “Interspecies,” said Hannah, her eyes gleaming, “very nice.”

  The waitresses were all nymphs with slender flowing bodies clad in seaweed, river pebbles, or leaves. Yet the flora these girls sported could have upstaged any Paris couture on the catwalk.

  Silk dancers performed aerial ballets high above the dance floor. They spun and arced from billowing ribbons of silver and gold, like acrobats in Cirque du Soleil.

  I squinted, my head tilted upward, trying to see what the silks were attached to. The answer, I saw was nothing. The silks were actually gossamer wings that sprouted from the dancers’ backs.

  “It’s so beautiful,” I sighed.

  Hannah nudged me. “Check out the dance floor.”

  I leaned slightly over the railing and gazed toward the bottom level. The floor was packed with bodies jammed so tightly together that they appeared to be moving as one. Even from this top level, I could see the ecstatic expressions.

  “They’re all relatively human size,” Hannah said.

  “We’re on Earth,” Festos said, like it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

  We were quiet for a little while. Lost in the music. Then, there was a voice beside me.

  “My favorite patrons. Welcome.”

  My head swiveled around. All this gawking was quite the workout.

  Beside me stood an androgynous figure that was definitely not human. It was slightly too tall, and its eyes gleamed yellow in its ebony skin. Its fitted black shirt and slacks did nothing to help me guess the gender. Neither did its close-cropped hair, dyed platinum blonde.

  I felt both a centeredness and great power coming off it, so figured it was probably a god of some sort.

  The being embraced both Theo and Festos warmly.

  “Nyx!” Festos leaned in to kiss both cheeks.

  This was Nyx? Goddess of Night and successful club owner?

  Nyx read my face and gave me an amused smile. “Do not assume all goddesses come in the same flavor, little one.” Her gaze swept slowly over me. “Hmm.”

  My eyes narrowed as I stared her down. Or rather up, since she towered over me. “Yes?” I said.

  She cocked one perfect eyebrow. Perfectly. “A lot of chatter over you. I was not sure what to expect.”

  I shrugged. “Most don’t.”

  “It appears much of the rumor is true.”

  “Probably, more is false.”

  Her smile grew genuine. “Enjoy yourself, Sophie. And welcome, finally, to Nyx.”

  With a sweeping bow, she left us.

  I watched her go, puzzled. “Why finally?”

  Festos made a face. “Persephone wouldn’t be caught dead with this riff raff.”

  Her loss. Happily, I had better taste.

  But no hearing, since with a delighted shriek, Hannah flung herself happily into her boyfriend’s arms and shattered my eardrums. “Pierce!” she squealed.

  I tried not to gape at his appearance like a slack-jawed yokel but I wasn’t entirely successful.

  Hannah turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “Something you want to say, Kitten?”

  Yes. If I’d been capable of speech.

  I was used to Pierce looking like he belonged in an Abercrombie catalogue what with his tousled sun-kissed hair, and amazing green eyes. But this was club porn. He wore slouchy jeans in the same pale gold as Hannah’s dress. Giant gold wings extended from his back. Two bands of brown striped each one. And every feather was long and full. I tried very hard not to make inappropriate comparisons.

  Festos shot me a smirk, so I knew that my smut-mind had company.

  While the wings were definitely impressive, his chest was a masterpiece.

  For starters, it was bare.

  And ripped. Holy crap was he ripped. Compelled like a moth to a flame, I reached out a finger to touch his abs, but Hannah smacked my hand away before I could reach them. I shook it to take away the sting. “Possessive much?”

  “Next time you lose the whole arm. And that’s just because I love you.”

  “Yeah,” Pierce said in the sexy British accent that moved his whole vibe into stratospherically hot territory. “You should see her around girls she doesn’t like.” He grinned, and I could see that it didn’t bother him at all.

  “It’s time to dance,” Festos announced.

  Hannah waved him off. “You guys go.” She stared dreamily at Pierce, her hand on his rock hard belly. “We’re going to go sit and chat.”

  “Nice euphemism,” I teased. I didn’t begrudge her much because, well, most breathing females, and more than a few males, would want to euphemistically chat with Pierce too. All night if possible. But I couldn’t help feeling a little hurt. It was my birthday. She didn’t have to third-wheel dump me so blatantly.

  “We’ll catch up with you soon,” she promised with a breezy wave.

  Theo caught my hand before I scratched more than a couple of times “Come on, Magoo,” he said. “Let’s dance.” He paused and then added, “I think I needed this too.”

  Theo had spent the past seventeen years watching and planning and keeping me safe. All without his god powers. He’d lived like a human boy, hidden from family and friends. I was glad he could finally have this night for himself. Sometimes, a bit of self-care can make as big a difference as all the tough preparation in the world.

  I squeezed his hand.

  In a birthday miracle, Theo pulled me into a huge hug and held me. Theo hated hugging. I mean ha-ted. Even Festos could barely get more than a few seconds out of him. So this?

  This was huge. This was Theo’s “I love you.”

  My toes curled, I got a goofy grin on my face, and felt sunshiny joy pour through my body. Not all meltiness originates from swoony lover boys. Sometimes it comes from best friends. Because love is love and it is all great.

  I pushed the moment by smooching Theo’s cheek, at which point he shoved me away like I’d spilled hazardous waste on him. I winked at Festos, who watched the whole thing with evident amusement.

  Then, with a “come on” wave, Festos led us through the club and down to the dance floor.

  It was tropical jungle hot and steamy on that level. Also sardine packed. But entirely fabulous. The music and energy were contagious. Even snaking through the crowd, the three of us sambaed along.

  I was so lost in my own little world—trying so hard to take in this fantastical place—that I collided with a hard body, and felt the slosh of a drink against my front. “Sorry,” I said, looking up. I found myself staring at Anil Patel and did a double take. Anil was a classmate and former flirt buddy of mine. “I’m not sure which question to ask first.” I said.

  Anil gave me his familiar warm grin. “How about ‘Hey human, how did meat like you get through the door?’”

  I laughed. “Okay. Let’s start with that.” Last time I’d seen Anil, he hadn’t known about the existence of gods and goddesses at all.

  “I’m dating Cassie,” he said, blushing.

  “Really?” I tried to wrap my head around it. The popular star wrestler dating the kooky ginger misfit who also happened to be an Oracle. I failed. “That’s uh—”

  “Freaking weird. I know. It happened the night of the Winter Formal.” His expression turned sheepish. “T
he night your mom dragged you out of school. Sorry about that, by the way.”

  “Not your fault.” It wasn’t. Anil had been unfairly screwed over that night, too. Underneath all his posturing, he was actually a nice guy. A friend. If he and Cassie had grown close, then I was glad that something good had come out of that mess. “Where is she?” I asked.

  Holding two cocktail glasses, Anil gestured. A deep turquoise liquid pulsed and sputtered in one of the glasses, like angry waves in the ocean. I started as it crashed against the glass. The other drink looked like liquid sunset with streaky layers of red, pink, and gold that glowed magically. Anil caught me staring and brought me back to reality. “She’s over here.”

  I looked around to tell Festos and Theo to go on without me, but they were already on the edge of the dance floor. So I headed over to Cassie and gave her a sneak attack hug.

  She squealed when she saw me, her ginger curls bobbing over a cute green halter dress that made her eyes sparkle.

  But that could have been her manic energy. “I can’t believe you’re here!” she said. “I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again! What happened that night? I didn’t want to ask Hannah in case you didn’t want to talk about it. Are you doing okay about next week?” Her words were rushed and overly happy as if every statement deserved an exclamation mark.

  “Are you okay, Cass?”

  Anil gave me the tiniest shake of his head.

  Cassie smiled brightly. “I’m fine! Ha! Ha! You know, getting closer to the equinox! Big day! Lots of prophecies!” Her smile wavered for a second before going extra mega-watt.

  This was worrisome. Mostly for what it was doing to Cassie’s mental well-being but also because new prophecies could mean new info I needed to have. “New prophecies?” I asked. “Like what?”

  She waved me off. “Nothing really! Just the old favs!” She took the sunset glass from Anil and tossed it back in one gulp.

  Anil leaned in to me. “She’s upped her Ativan. Swears she’s fine but I’m worried she’s going to snap.”

  I braced my hand on his shoulder, spoke directly and quietly into his ear. “Anything happens to her, even if she only gets a tiny bit worse, promise me you’ll take her to Hannah. Hannah can get her to me and Theo, and we can help.” I hoped.