My Life From Hell

by Tellulah Darling

  Desperate times. “Help me get out of here, dog.” Seeing as he was a primal killer and not a reasonably intelligent orangutan, he sat there.

  I stuck my fingers through the grate and waggled them at him, indicating he should come closer. I also called my light with a palmy glow, in case he turned on me.

  His fur felt rough and matted as he nudged my hand. His muscles made lumpy ridges under his skin, which rippled as he opened one of his massive mouths and let out a stream of the foulest stench I’d ever smelled. Rotting eggs were minty mouthwash in comparison. It was like a thousand years of compressed decay.

  I tried not to gag, failed, plugged my nose, and tugged him close until two of his snouts touched the grate. “Arrr. Arrr.” I mimed biting the metal bars of the grate and tugging backward.

  He got the picture pretty quickly, i.e. not at all. Ten minutes later, I was slumped in a dejected ball. “Come on, you dumb mutt.”

  More waiting on his part.

  Okay, he was a dog. A scary one, but still. What did dogs respond to? I had no treats. Hand motions had done nothing. Maybe he just needed a simple command? I sat up and channelled every once of commanding that I could muster. “Cerberus, move grate.”

  The magic words. Go figure.

  I hurried to cover my nose and mouth as his jaws opened again, which helped somewhat with the smell, but still made my eyes water. Cerberus bit down on the bars, and with an effortless flick of his heads, flung the grate out of the way.

  I crawled into the Underworld and collapsed. The last time I’d been here, it had been night. I thought it would always be night, but now that I had my Persephone memories, I knew that Hades enjoyed sunlit days during which to strut his god’s doucheyness, as much as he liked moonlit nights.

  Worked for me, since the sunshine recharged my power. I looked up, a hand automatically shielding my eyes. Then I realized it wasn’t that bright. Weird. Even though the sun was yellow and the sky was blue, there was no vibrancy or richness to them. More the faintest suggestion of color than the actual thing.

  Color or not, this sun recharged me just fine. After a few minutes, I felt good to go. All I wanted was to find Kai and Theo—if they were here—locate the way to Demeter’s temple, and get on with stopping Zeus and Hades.

  But where might be the most likely place to find my boys? I looked to Cerberus who settled his heads on his paws, his eyes lowering sleepily. Nope. I wasn’t finished with the mutt just yet. “Cerberus, play game.”

  He didn’t exactly thump his tail in joy. Instead, he let two of his heads go to sleep.

  I stood up and wiped some salty soil from my eyes. The dress, which had originally been a very nice shade of deep blue, was now streaked with muck. Well, Felicia shouldn’t have stuck me in a dirt tunnel if she expected it to stay clean.

  I approached Cerberus cautiously. I couldn’t remember if I was supposed to make eye contact or not.

  Hannah would have known.

  No. Not going there.

  With a beast this size, and this dangerous, it probably didn’t matter. He wasn’t worried about dominance. He was the top of the food chain.

  I stopped in front of him, feeling his hot breath against my hand. Cerberus was massive but not quite as enormous as I remembered him. In my memory of fleeing Hades with my sapphire pendent, I must have built this puppy up to nightmare proportions.

  I squatted down. “No rest for the wicked yet, buddy. I need you to find Kai. And Theo, but I’m betting you know Kai’s scent better.” I shoved at him. “Up and at ‘em.”

  Cerberus dropped his middle head on the ground. His deep, ancient eyes looked back at me with a profound stare. It was a stare that said, “I have lived an eternal life and you are the biggest idiot I’ve seen.”

  “Seriously. Get up.” I nestled against him, my nose wrinkled at his musky smell. I turned around with my back to his body, dug in my heels for leverage, and pushed. Complete with straining face and grunting.

  That’s when I heard Kai say, “There you are, kardia mou. I’ve been looking for you.”

  Kardia mou? “My heart” in Greek?

  I looked up with a laugh, happy to hear Kai tease me with such sappy affection. But my laughter cut short at his perplexed expression. He hadn’t been teasing—clearly Kai had no clue what I was doing, and he wasn’t dressed like I’d last seen him. Now he wore a dark linen short-sleeved shirt over similarly colored linen pants. He was barefoot. And looking at me all kinds of weirdly.

  I stepped away from the dog, stood up, and brushed myself off as best I could. “I know I look bad, but come on. That tunnel was a bitch.”

  He placed a finger over my lips. “Such language mars the perfect beauty of your mouth.”

  Was he kidding me? I eyed him, worried that maybe he’d suffered some kind of concussion on his way here. Maybe Felicia had done a number on all of us. “Enough, Kai.”

  Kyrillos. Persephone’s voice rose up unbidden inside me. “Kyrillos,” I found myself amending.

  Kai gave me one of his cat-going-to-eat-the-canary-that-was-me grins. It put me at ease and had me on delicious, anticipating edge as he held out a hand. “I’ve blown off my father for the afternoon.”

  He took a step closer. “We can be alone, Persephone.”

  Persephone?!

  Say what?! “Say what?”

  Everything fell into place with a sickening lurch. Why Cerberus hadn’t tried to kill me, why he didn’t seem as large. Why Kai was acting off.

  I glanced down at myself, praying this horrible impossibility was not, in fact possible. I saw that the ground was now much farther away than it should have been, and that the body I now rocked was definitely not mine.

  Somehow, I had become Persephone.

  I heard in her my head, full of spiteful glee. I’m back.

  Oh. No.

  Eleven

  I bolted. As if I could somehow outrun this body I was stuck in. Molt it away with speed, leaving it in a dusty heap on the ground and my Sophie self all happy in the sunshine.

  Yeah, right.

  I ran through grasses in wide fields, their sharp tang tickling my nose. All the plant life had that dry, brittle, washed out look of a land that was in the throes of a long, deep drought. It was a million shades of wheat and gray, with no vibrant colors anywhere.

  Eventually, I found myself on a dusty cobblestone road. I knew that it would lead me back to Hades’ palace, where there were mirrors to confirm this change. But when I came to the shore of the crystal clear Akherousian lake, I realized that the water would work just as well.

  One quick look into the lake was enough to leave me reeling.

  It was true. Somehow, I was now Persephone.

  Looking away quickly and looking back didn’t change things. Neither did pinching myself, opening and closing my eyes, or wishing desperately. Since hers was the last face I wanted to be gazing on, I trudged off, continuing toward the palace and lost in my thoughts. All the while, I was trying to figure out why Felicia would want this?

  “She said make it hurt.” I froze at the sound of Kiki’s voice.

  She sat on a flat rock at the edge of an empty intersection, dressed in the same outfit she’d been in at Felicia’s. Since I had Persephone’s memories, I knew every inch of this place as if I’d explored it myself. Which I had, in a way. At any rate, I knew where we were.

  Hekate’s Crossroads.

  Literally, it was an intersection with three roads branching off from it. The judged souls that Charon and his deadly ferry ride hadn’t brought to their final destinations came here. If they’d lived normal lives, they shuffled off to the Fields of Asphodel. If they’d been evil, they went to Tartarus. Or over to the Elysian Fields if their good deeds had won them the afterlife jackpot. Hekate didn’t need to be around to help them. The dead people would only be able to travel the appropriate path.

  She patted the rock beside her. I’d always liked Kiki, but suddenly I was very wary of her. Because for the first time, I tr
uly felt her power and knew what she was capable of.

  She made a lit cigarette appear in her hands. “I’m not going to bite. Sit.”

  I sat. Since Kiki was still human-sized, and I was about thirteen feet tall, I dwarfed her. My bum felt massive on the rock. After an awkward moment of sliding around, trying to fit both butt cheeks comfortably, I gave up and stood. I gestured at my goddess body. “Why?”

  Kiki squinted at me, almost like she was surprised I didn’t know. “You did screw Demeter over.”

  I gaped at her, ready to argue.

  She gave me the hand. “You did. She said the oath in good faith that you’d reciprocate. You didn’t. Now you suffer the consequences. Balance out your choice.”

  I laced my fingers together, steepling them against my lips as I studied her. “The consequence that I’m Persephone now? How does that follow?”

  Kiki was silent for a bit, smoking her cigarette.

  I watched the red ashy tip grow larger, waiting for it to fall. But she tapped out the cigarette before it could. “Are you familiar with the phrase ‘Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it?’” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  She slid off the rock. “Well, you’re repeating it.” Then she was walking away, her stride brisk. As if that was the end of the discussion.

  Couldn’t any of these Greeks bother explaining themselves in detail? I scrambled after her. “I remember everything about the past just fine. I have all of Persephone’s memories.”

  “It’s not about literally remembering, you foolish girl. It’s about learning from past errors. Well, hello there.”

  A group of twenty-something man candy car crash victims dressed in soccer uniforms swaggered along en route to Asphodel. The lascivious leer Kiki gave them made her look like she was trawling for boy toys, not shepherding souls.

  I waited impatiently.

  Kiki gave them a come-hither stare with the full weight of her charm behind it and the one closest to her blushed from head to toe.

  I wanted to pull her off the cobblestone road, away from temptation and distraction, and make her talk to me. Or even sling her over my shoulders and carry her away, since I could totally do that, but I was kind of afraid to touch her. She’d already turned me into Persephone. And that was with her liking me.

  I sidled in close and spoke up, hoping she’d stop running her hand over the soccer player’s bicep and answer me. “Learning what from my errors?”

  Kiki trailed a fingertip down his arm and I tried not to shudder, since it was like watching my old aunt hit on a guy better suited to dating me. Finally, she smiled, pulled her hand away, and let them continue. “I have missed this place.”

  With a last tilt to appreciate the receding view, she returned her attention to me, jabbing a finger into my stomach to make her point. “You’ve got to reconcile with Persephone if you’re going to fulfill that ‘one above one below’ prophecy. Keep going this way and things are going to end badly for you. And humanity. I didn’t go to all the trouble of saving Persephone so that you could blow it.” She punctuated that last bit with a few exceptionally hard jabs.

  It was almost funny. Like a little terrier yipping its displeasure at a giant sheep dog. Which did not make me sound sexy in the least, but being this size took getting used to. You know, like being on top of a mountain. Or just being a mountain.

  I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to make sense of this. Kiki had decided that me being Persephone fit Felicia’s wish for me to suffer and helped me fulfill the prophecy. The first part made sense. Being stuck with Kai, with him thinking that I was his original love was so going to suck. I could even grudgingly acknowledge the sense in the second part.

  I still grumbled. “It’s all about Persephone. I should have known.”

  Kiki shook her head. “No. It’s all about you. Persephone is part of your younger self. She’s part of you, and you still share characteristics. But now you are you.”

  I let out a half-laugh. This was sounding eerily familiar to the words I’d flung at Kai.

  “… Except you’re way too hung up on the past. That’s no way to have a future. And a heart full of hate can’t love. You need love.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Like The Beatles song?”

  She blinked, then got the reference and smiled. “Yes. Exactly.”

  This was all too coincidental. The feeling of being buried alive in the tunnel. The song. “Did you plan all this? The visions? Has it been you the whole time?” I felt a little sick. My mind whirled with conspiracy theories as everything that had happened in the past few days started to look seriously shady.

  To her credit, Kiki played confused very well. “You’re affecting the present, Sophinchka. That’s a danger to all around you. You will never be successful unless you work through it. This,” she spread her hands wide, “is both you facing the consequence and me helping you learn from the past.”

  There wasn’t time for this. The equinox was in four days. Which may seem like a lot of time but, trust me, when you’re facing the battle of your life, it’s not. The last thing I wanted was to deal with was some after-school special about “life lessons for a better you.”

  I put my hands on my hips, trying not let the fact that I had hips distract me. Persephone was a curvy girl. “The only help I want involves you showing me the exit to Felicia’s temple so we can break the stupid ward. Can you do that?”

  Kiki scowled at me. She gave great scowl. “This is the way out. The way to ensure your victory. But you need to prove that you deserve it. Sometime in the next few days, Demeter is going to murder you.”

  That stopped me cold. “We’ve gone back in time?”

  “This is an enchantment,” Kiki scoffed. “Everyone here is under my spell. To them, they’re playing out these events for the first time. But the end can be just as deadly.” She motioned for me to get off the path and onto the grass beside it as a busload of seniors went past. “Seventeen years ago, in the early hours of the equinox, I put Persephone’s spirit into your body. At that moment, you and she were perfectly aligned. Now you’re not.”

  “There’s the understatement of the year.” I focused on the procession before me. A widow on the prowl, hard scrambled grandma with a visor, lecherous old guy with an orange tan …

  Kiki moved herself into my field of vision. “If you and she are not aligned once more by the equinox, you will fail. Save Persephone and the enchantment breaks. You’re free to go through the portal and save the day. Don’t save Persephone? You die here and no one knows Sophie Bloom ever existed.”

  That got my attention. “Not fair.” My blood ran cold. “That’s cruel.”

  “It’s balance. You repeated the past when you betrayed Demeter by not keeping your word. Now Demeter has her chance to repeat the past and avenge that. It’s up to you how it ends.” She smiled and patted my cheek. “Have fun.”

  Kiki disappeared.

  Fun? No. What I was going to do was get myself out of this stupid enchantment and back to reality. There were plenty of trees around to transport me. I felt under the dress for my pendent and, with its reassuring weight in my hand, headed straight for the nearest one.

  Whacking my nose firmly against the rough bark as the pendant failed to do anything.

  I cursed Kiki, rubbing my nose to take away the sting.

  Evidently, short cuts were out. I was stuck here until the enchantment broke. Fine. I’d avoid going under the throne room to the gold room beneath it. Demeter couldn’t murder me if I didn’t show up.

  And Persephone didn’t suffer from heat rashes or migraines, which was going to make a pleasant change. I’d need my all my wits about me here.

  First up then? Find Kai and Theo and make them remember me, Sophie. Because I now understood the way this would hurt. It wasn’t being murdered again. It wasn’t even being Persephone while around Kai.

  It was that I wouldn’t exist at all.

  Which would seriously c
rimp my save humanity plans.

  I touched the cuff that Hannah had given me which I still wore. As if to reassure myself of who I was and that there were people out there to whom I mattered. Maybe. Hannah had never fought with anyone like she had with me. Even if I wanted to apologize, which maybe I did and maybe I didn’t, I wasn’t sure she’d reciprocate. Maybe I no longer mattered to her.

  Green light swam before my eyes. My palms got hot.

  No! I shut my power down before I could blast one of my full body shockwaves. Which reminded me that I still wore the ring Festos had made me. Kiki had left it alone.

  I unclasped my chain, slid the ring off of my finger, and threaded it on next to my pendant. I didn’t trust my temper at the best of times these days, and especially not now. The last thing I wanted was to get mad and use up my recharge before the final showdown. I could only go for three minutes and thirty seconds and I wasn’t about to waste any of it.

  Now, where was the most likely place to find Kai and Theo? I glanced at Hades’ palace in the distance. My stomach clenched with nerves. Hades won’t know it’s me. I recited that thought over and over as I made my way toward the palace. It helped keep the dread at bay. So did the realization that there was a definite plus to being stuck in enemy territory: I could ferret out any weakness that might help us during the battle. That cheered me up enormously.

  But first, I needed transform myself into the most girly goddess imaginable. Become the pretty decoration that Hades expected, all the better to keep my secrets. Because if Hades realized who I really was before I could get Kai and Theo to remember, he’d kill me. And neither of them would know to stop him.

  It was a bit of a trudge to get to the palace from the crossroads. The heat made me sticky, and by the time I reached Hades’ home, I’d been wiping the sweat off my brow for ages. The sun may not have been bright, but it was still hot.