The Forest of Evergreen: Found in the Wilderness

by Teresa May B. Bandiola

  Lilly’s grin turned brighter. “No need, Sophia,” she said, which almost made Sophia frown in disappointment.

  “But why…?”

  “Because Francheska is already here.”

  CHAPTER 21

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  a mother’s love

  “Francheska. She’s already here,” Lilly repeated. “She’s outside, waiting.”

  A sudden radiance emanated from Sophia, and this made Lilly dash, to reach for the door. The door swung open and presented Francheska, standing on the hallway, waiting. Praying for things to be all right.

  “Mom…” Sophia quivered, straining to address the word, as tears crossed through her flaring cheeks. Mom. She repeated it to herself.

  A feeling of euphoria struck Francheska. What did she ever do to deserve this quick forgiveness from a forsaken daughter? The word mom felt like it both slayed her yet sent her to heaven, all-at-once.

  “Sophia… my daughter!” Francheska suddenly clasped her. At last! Thank Heaven! Sophia was finally in her arms, and they prayed it would never end.

  Francheska caressed her daughter, wishing the sun would continue to shine on them. What she did earlier, to agree to Lilly’s offer to come and see her daughter, was her wisest decision ever, after all the greatest mistakes of the past! “I’m so sorry, Sophia.” She cried. In her arms was her daughter, who moaned softly like a kitten. Oh heavens, if only there were words more expressive than sorry.

  Sophia cried even harder. It was the best thing she’d ever felt, after all the solitude she had endured.

  “I’m so sorry,” Francheska implored again. They could barely move, and even Lilly was stilled by the glorious view before her eyes. All her efforts to unite the two were rewarded, finally. In helping them, she felt she was finally making sense of her own life, too.

  Lilly joined in their embrace, and they were absorbed in the moment. Time was in their favor, because it seemed to be right timing. Sophia had pardoned her mom quite easily. Then Lilly stepped back and laughed, thinking she would burn the entire building if she kept on cuddling them. “Come on, now! Let’s get inside. My cooking’s almost done.” She lobbed some British accent, adding bliss to Francheska and Sophia.

  Francheska couldn’t let go of her daughter. All the pain, since the day she conceived her, down to her most painful labor—though it all seemed a long time ago—all paid off, now, all at once. She couldn’t care about the other things that might be happening around. She could only stare down, in awe, at her baby. Her grown-up girl.

  Lilly complemented the moment with some music and began serving them. “Meal’s ready,” she said and heard no response. The two were still engrossed with each other, and she couldn’t believe the magnificent picture they made. To rest on her mother’s soft bosom seemed like nirvana to Sophia. And it felt the same for Francheska. Yet, somehow, there was this nagging worry, in Francheska, that her many secrets of the past could catch up on her daughter.

  “Cheska, tell Sophia your stories of New York.” Lilly wanted to expand their conversation, after they’d finished eating.

  “Well…” Francheska paused, thinking. “Back there, I performed in Broadway, and I also had two other jobs! Life there is too expensive but I managed to save more than I expected. For eight years, I’ve been doing the same routines every day.”

  There was this desire for Sophia to ask her mother something. Something too personal. “You’re thirty two and how come you never got married?” She fixed her gaze on the floor when she asked it.

  “I guess, this is what God planned for me. To stay unmarried until I finally have my daughter back.”

  The light in Sophia’s eyes manifested. Then and there, she loved her mother all the more. It was riveting and moving—seemingly a tale of human loss and human gain, all at the same moment.

  Late in the afternoon, Francheska had been watching her daughter sit on the couch and turn over some pages of her memoirs of New York.

  She flashed back to the night she’d given birth to Sophia and remembered clearly the sensation—as if some big slimy fish were being drawn out of her. The lights overhead, as she lay on the stretcher, pierced her eyes but she could see the doctor holding up what looked like a skinned rabbit. “It’s a beautiful girl,” he said as he looked at the clock for the baby’s time of birth. Then all at once, its cry burst out—angry and ferocious. Francheska could recall clearly and then… the doctor and nurses panicked for another moment. “There’s another one,” they yelled distressingly. “Call Dr. Phil Vabueretti now!” And then Francheska was out.

  “She needs to go home to Eliz,” Lilly spoke to Francheska carefully, and that distracted her. She’d been watching Sophia, too, who seemed fascinated by Francheska’s minor roles on Andrew Lloyd Weber’s musicals.

  “Yes,” Francheska agreed, setting aside her thoughts and memories, but she longed to think them over, again. “I want more time with Sophia. Do you think it’s too selfish of me to ask her not to go home tonight?” The hope bounded in Francheska, and she noticed the way Sophia grabbed her back as though she was in pain. “Is there something wrong with her back?”

  “I don’t know. It’s like she’s in pain.”

  Francheska inched her way toward her daughter, to probe her. She was wary, knowing she hadn’t done this before. She had no experience as a mother, but Sophia was already giving her a lovely look so she was stimulated to keep on.

  “You’re so great back there,” Sophia praised her as she received her mom’s kiss on the forehead, then frowned when Francheska said she’d no longer return to her old life in New York, so she could be with Sophia. “You really are willing to quit all these for me…?” Sophia rejected the idea and was shushed when her mother began studying her back. It seemed her mother noticed.

  “No spotlights are brighter than the moments I am with you now, sweetheart.” Francheska shifted her gaze to her. “You are far more fulfilling and rewarding than the sparkling life New York could ever offer.”

  It shook Sophia to the edge. Something wonderful bloomed within her, profound and potent. She was grateful, anticipating what the future could bring them, but her mother delved into her back again and lifted her chemise, leaving her frozen.

  Nothing seemed to be wrong at first, but when Francheska sharpened her vision, she noticed a spot that started to darken. “What happened? Were you beaten?”

  “Mom…” Sophia didn’t know how to react then. She began to feel tense.

  “Who did this to you?”

  Still, Sophia refused to tell. She wanted no one to know of the almost-being-beaten episode. One way or another, she still cared for Enzo, and wanted to protect his dignity.

  “Sophia, I’m asking you. Who did this to you?” Now, Francheska’s voice sounded very serious.

  “Mom, it’s just a back-ache.” Sophia tried to speak convincingly but Francheska still doubted. And Lilly, who stood there at the kitchen watching them, wasn’t also convinced.

  “Tell me about it.” Francheska made sure her voice was mellow now, not to frighten her daughter.

  “I…” Sophia’s tongue was sliding back, her eyes unsteady. “It is my fault…” And judging through Sophia’s movements, Lilly had finally gotten a clue. “Did that Enzo guy do that to you?” She asked, not considering any other thoughts, making Sophia’s terror worsen.

  “What?” Francheska reacted tremendously and began to get mad. “Who’s that guy? Tell me!”

  Sheer silence was Sophia’s only response. Francheska demanded heavily and Sophia was thrown into a tight corner. “I don’t blame Enzo for doing this to me. I was selfish. I hurt him,” she shuddered, while speaking.

  “I can’t believe Enzo has the nerve to hurt you.” Lilly turned angry, too.

  Francheska was in a total shock. Her daughter didn’t deserve this. She deserved no less than care and good treatm
ent.

  “I—I deserve this!” Sophia blinked back her tears, still in a nod. “This is nothing, compared to everything I’ve done to him,” she broke into another cry, her nose entirely clogged.

  “No, no matter what this reason was, Sophia, this is not okay!” Lilly protested, and that roused Francheska. Though Lilly told her things about the men in Sophia’s life, she just did not know how to take this, in hand. If only it was a stage play, she could have shoved it like a piece of cake.

  “I cheated on him and I deserve nothing but this,” Sophia insisted which made the two ice up in muffled objection.

  “Cheated?” They shivered at the word. For them, given the fact that Sophia had done so, still it wasn’t a warranty to hurt her. Women are very fragile creatures. Physically, at least.

  “Yes, I cheated on him,” Sophia then admitted with bravery. “Please, stop now. It’s done. Enzo and I are over.”

  With night came peace. Sophia and Francheska shared the same bed with Lilly, after Elizabeth’s approval of Sophia’s overnight there but in return, Sophia would go to Forest Green the next morning, for Grandma Lucy’s birthday.

  Francheska couldn’t fall asleep as she went back to the daunting night of her delivery. What did the doctor and nurses mean there’s another one? Even up to now, she didn’t understand what that panic was. Not even a small fragment of idea why they had to call Dr. Philippe Vabueretti. Was it because she gave birth in the Vabueretti family hospital? Or something mysterious was coming out of her belly?

  She went to another memory and felt more of goose bumps. The night—the night she was with Ben at the lake house was the last thing she could recall after she woke up the following day in the middle of the forest. She was stripped naked, then, but she was sure she heard some flapping of wings before she fell unconscious, again, lying on a heap of dried leaves that she couldn’t even identify. And with that thought, Francheska was brimming with mixed sentiments again. She needed to fight it, for Sophia who was lying next to her, whose arms were wrapped around her belly.

  Sophia couldn’t go to asleep, too. As she got wedged between the two adults, there were a handful of questions that she longed to ask her mom.

  “Mom,” she talked softly and faced Francheska, who was then hardened into silence.

  “Yes…?”

  “You know I have amnesia, right?”

  For a while, Francheska was wordless, feeling all the sorry, for her daughter and for herself too, because she wasn’t there when Sophia had the accident.

  “Mom,” Sophia repeated, uncertain if her mother had heard it.

  “Yes, Sophia. And I’m so, so sorry.” Thanks to the lights they were now turned off, and Francheska’s rushing tears were invisible.

  “You guys, let’s just go to sleep, okay?” Lilly then meddled, just when she got distracted by their careful voices.

  “Yes,” Francheska then consented and held her daughter in fondness. It was their first night together, and Francheska never let go of her, the whole night.

  CHAPTER 22

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  return to forest green

  “Sophia, honey, wake up now.” Francheska shook her daughter in bed. “You’re going to Forest Green today.”

  In a flash, Sophia became completely conscious and realized it wasn’t Elizabeth waking her up this time. She suddenly remembered, she’d got another mom, too. “Good morning, Mom.” She slid a smile and got up from bed.

  “Good morning, too, sweetheart.” Francheska sat down on the edge of the bed, and once more, cuddled her.

  For Francheska, the situation was odd, as well, for she’d always been used to being alone. She, too, had to adjust, to the reality that she could no longer live the life of a single woman. This time she had to embrace the fact that Sophia would be linked to her, all her life. She needed to unchain the shackles of the past and take on the new role of a mom.

  “I better hurry,” Sophia carefully said. “Mom will freak out if I’m not home early,” Sophia pertained to Elizabeth and noticed the twinge in Francheska’s eyes.

  Though Francheska tried, she couldn’t hide the envy she felt the moment Sophia called Elizabeth mom. She knew she didn’t have to feel that way but… it was inevitable.

  “Yes, of course.” Francheska tried to smile and touched her daughter’s face, absorbing herself with the fact that she had nothing to worry about, for Sophia was always in good hands—in Elizabeth’s care.

  “I don’t want to go to Forest Green today,” Sophia confessed, with a pout. “But I guess, I have no choice.”

  Despite her disapproval, too, Francheska widened her smile. “Everyone wants you there. So go, sweetheart.” She looked beyond her daughter’s head and fought back the haunting memories of Forest Green. She wasn’t healed yet. But she had to calm down for her daughter’s sake.

  In a hurry, Sophia prepared herself and joined her mom in the kitchen. She could smell garlic, omelet, and bacon.

  “Honey,” Francheska called, and in her hands were a cup and a glass. She cleaned her throat and asked, “Coffee? Hot chocolate? Or orange juice?” While asking, Francheska felt overwhelmed with self-pity; she knew nothing about her daughter’s palate, and suddenly she was overcome with more maternal feelings.

  “Orange juice would be the best, Mom,” Sophia chirped.

  Francheska exhaled with relief. She had the right guess—not bad, after all. “Okay, right away, princess.” She returned a bouncier reaction, put aside the cup, then pulled a tetra pack out of the fridge.

  Sophia sat down and checked her cell phone that had been in silent mode. Surprisingly, there were over a hundred missed callsall from Enzo, since yesterday. Zarah, too, was sending her messages.

  “Sophia, honey…” Francheska noticed how her daughter put so much time on her cell phone. Sophia was then gazing at Enzo’s stream of messages (of apologies and regrets). “Here’s your juice. And you have to hurry. Eliz is already texting,” she said, and volunteered to pour down the drink in Sophia’s glass. “And take good care of yourself there, okay?”

  “I will, Mom.” Sophia finally put down her cell phone, set aside the thoughts of Enzo, and began her first bite. It was their first breakfast together. Both felt so much at home, as though it had been their daily routine. Beside them was a pile of bread, and to their surprise, they picked the same bottle of blueberry jam.

  “I adore berries,” Sophia smirked, amused by the unanticipated likeness they shared. “Strawberry, cranberry…” she was saying and gawked longer at her mom, her eyes sparkling with too much bliss.

  And not only that, they were also stunned by the fact that they both sipped food through their fingertips, such as the droopy jam skimming out of the bread, as they took a big bite.

  Francheska ogled dotingly and smiled in-between-mouthfuls. She was seeing her youth all over again in Sophia. Her daughter reminded her so much of herself when she was younger. Along with her smile was the wonder: did Sophia play music too? Although, she had heard her daughter was into painting, Francheska thought that Sophia could be the realization of her own frustration, as a country singer.

  “Do you play any musical instrument?” she asked.

  Sophia put down the bread knife and heaved a sigh. “No, I don’t. But Alex and Nadine do.” She rolled her eyes to the side and started on the omelet. She knew then it was the only field they didn’t share. She was into the visual arts while her mom was into performing.

  As Sophia drifted into those thoughts, Francheska reached for her hands and held them tight, sensing how her daughter felt, exactly. “You’re gonna be a great painter someday,” she forced a sweet smile, at the heights of wishing she’d already seen one of Sophia’s artworks, even a scrap one. Until then, she wouldn’t feel any better.

  Sophia returned the same lovely smile, also at the pinnacle of wishing she was as great as h
er mom was, at stage performances. Little did they know they were wishing hard for each other’s welfare.

  “But,” Sophia grimaced, looking in her hands. “I can’t paint the same as before anymore, Mom. I lost it, with the accident.”

  “No one can make an omelet without breaking some eggs, sweetie. You’ve got to work hard again until it’ll have you back. Then you will be surprised that you have even made a cake.”

  Sophia smiled genuinely at the thought, getting it exactly. New genes of wisdom. From her real mom. For a while, they shared a brief silence and were stirred when Lilly, who just roused from bed, joined them. She handed back to Sophia her car keys and wished her bon voyage to Forest Green, along with a slimy kiss in the cheeks.

  When the quick meal ended, Francheska’s cheer faded from her face and she accompanied Sophia to her red mini Cooper, holding herself together to whip out the emptiness that was swiftly progressing. “I want you to have this,” she said and took off the gold necklace from her neck. The pendant was heart-shaped. “This was given to me by mom and it was given to her by your great grandma. I want you to have it.”

  Sophia was clearly swamped with delight. She did not know how to thank her, then, but she felt more than privileged that she was the one receiving a family treasure, now, especially when her mom put it on for her.

  Sensing her mother’s hands glide over her neck, Sophia felt there was no need for mutiny now. All the missing pieces in the past fit together, now. And it was the sweetest thing, ever. Gracefully, she took hold of the pendant and cuddled Francheska once more. “Thank you, Mom.” She tightened her hug and thanked her—and Francheska laughed, gasping for air.

  Then Francheska held Sophia’s cheeks in both hands, looked her in the eye, and honed in on her motherly instinct. “I can feel your heart is wounded, sweetie, but know this: love isn’t easy. But choose that person who’s worth suffering for, someone who’s worth every pain.”