Blown Away (Rogues Shifter Series Book 4)

by Gayle Parness

  He drew me into his arms to kiss me deeply, putting all of his love into the delicious meeting of our mouths. When we pulled apart he said, “My love, you must know that I never felt toward Caroline what I feel toward you. I loved her and I would have gone through the ritual with her because of the children, but she would never have been my true life mate as you are.”

  I stroked his cheek gently and smiled at him, relieved that I’d finally made a definite decision. “I’m glad that you told me about Caroline and your daughters. I’m so sorry that you lost them in such a horrible way. You would have been a wonderful father if she’d allowed it.”

  He turned away so I wouldn’t see his face. “Jackie, the decision is yours. If anyone pressures you, you may have regrets later on. I only want you to be happy.”

  “Hey,” I wrenched his face around so he had to look at me. “You make me happier than I deserve to be. I figured that if I chose to raise him, you’d make the sacrifice for me. I couldn’t imagine that you could ever love Kennet’s child. But you already do, don’t you?” My voice was barely a whisper.

  “He’s yours. Being a father to your child would be a great joy, not a sacrifice." He kissed my palm and then squeezed my hand. "Jacqueline, you can’t do it just for me. You have to be able to love him, unconditionally. He’s an innocent child and he doesn’t deserve less. He isn’t responsible for what his father did.”

  His eyes were wide with longing. Oh my god, what had I been thinking? Preoccupied with my pain and my anger, I’d almost destroyed one of his dreams. All the shit he’d been through for me and I almost…

  He was watching my face, not allowing himself to hope, even a little bit, but looking into his glorious eyes, I saw directly into his heart. I reached out again for his hand and placed it on my belly. This time he didn’t move it away. His face was an open book, full of yearning and tenderness. “You can start bonding now, Daddy, because I plan to raise him with you. He’s not growing up with Aedus or Liam as his father. Little Garrett, Jr. is going to be raised by an amazing vampire and a sometimes boneheaded cheetah demon, heaven help the poor kid. We’ll both love him unconditionally, and we’ll be a real family together.”

  He stared at his hand as it rested above my womb and then quickly up at my face, feeling out my emotions with real hope glittering in his incredible eyes. “Tu es sûr, mon amour ? Are you sure, my love?”

  “Oui, je suis sûr.”

  He grinned as widely as he could stretch his mouth without breaking his jaw, suddenly leaning in and kissing me hard, managing to leave his hand exactly where it was, fingers splayed across my belly, as if he were afraid to break contact. When we came up for air I had to giggle at the unrestrained joy in his expression. “You are my world. But please, not Garrett, Jr.” He hesitated. “There is someone…”

  I knew instantly what he wanted. “Your father, we’ll name him after your father. What was his name?”

  “Charles.” (He pronounced it the French way, an ‘Sh’, instead of a ‘Ch’, like Charlemagne, the ancient emperor.)

  I grinned at him. “Charlie.” (Pronounced with the American ‘Ch’, of course.)

  “When he’s a boy, but as a man, Charles I think is more appropriate.”

  I arched an eyebrow. “His mother can call him whatever she wants.” I was twisting my fingers through his and he lifted my hand to kiss each knuckle.

  “She can,” he nodded, and then broke my heart with his joyful expression. His eyes were sparkling with a rare happiness that made him appear once more as my eternally nineteen year old mate, full of life energy, carefree and in love. I wished with all my heart that I could fill his long life with moments like this one. A tiny tear trickled down my cheek.

  He kissed it away. “What did I say?”

  “I just want you to be happy like this all the time.”

  “But I am, whenever we’re together, don’t you know?”

  “When I'm not doing something to worry you, or we're not fighting other supes." I had an idea."Could we go away somewhere for just a few days? We’d be like a real couple on vacation.”

  “A real couple. What are we now?" He looked a tiny bit sad.

  “Most of the time I feel like I’m playing the part of some superhero. Everyone has such high expectations, including me. But underneath, is this ordinary woman who just wants to be part of an ordinary mated pair once in a while.”

  “Do you feel that way right now? Like an unwilling superhero?” Garrett moved his hands down my bare arms, taking my hands gently in his.

  I shook my head and smiled. “No. Tonight I’m that very happy ordinary woman in love with her incredible man, apparently soon to have his son.”

  He lowered his eyes and lifted the hem of my shirt so that he could brush his hand over my belly where Charlie was currently making himself at home. Garrett smiled as he gently pushed me down on the bed, leaned over to kiss my mouth and then moved down to kiss my belly and whisper to the baby in French. “Votre père et mère vous aiment, Charles. Your mother and father love you, Charles.” We laughed when we felt the baby move, positive now that the churning hadn’t been indigestion after all. I giggled as Garrett blazed a trail of kisses up my body to linger at my mouth.

  I pushed him away and cupped his face in my two hands. “I need you to promise me something.”

  “Anything.” He was glowing with unrestrained happiness and I could have asked him for the moon and he would have defied gravity to get it for me.

  I tried to look stern, but he only laughed. “Swear that you will always tell me how you honestly feel. Don’t try to protect my feelings, especially when the decision is such an important one. You blocked me out. This was a decision to make together. I know that you do it out of love, but think about how I would have felt if I found out later when it was too late. You know better than anyone that you can’t pressure me into doing something I don’t want to do."

  “I promise, my angel. Je vous demande pardon. I beg your forgiveness.” He held my hand over his long silent heart and I smiled, understanding that although it no longer beat, it was still full of love.

  “Now, where was I?” He kissed my lips sweetly, then reversed his previous path, kissing my stomach and then resting his head just below my ribs to stare in wonder at the slightly rounded dome that covered Charlie. Feeling peaceful, something rare in my crazed world, I closed my eyes and stroked Garrett’s thick hair as he sang a French lullaby to our baby son. When the song ended, his kisses and caresses grew passionate. We shared our bodies, our love and our magic and then clung together whispering, as we made plans for our new family.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Liam made me breakfast as usual. The plate was loaded up with extra pancakes and sausages and yet I somehow managed to eat every bit. At this rate I was going to gain enough weight to feed quadruplets.

  “Sit down with me Liam?”

  “I’m actually going to join you, since I haven’t had time for breakfast yet today.” He sat with a plate holding only half the amount of food as mine. He grinned when he saw my annoyed expression. “You’re eating for two and the quickness of the gestation will drain your energy much faster than usual.”

  “Fine, but if I grow larger than Heinrich, I’ll lodge a complaint with the fae Elders.”He laughed. I caught his eye and said, “I want you to know first, Liam.” There was a slight tightening of his jaw as his eyes glowed with apprehension. “Garrett and I are going to raise our son. We’re naming him Charles after Garrett’s dad.”

  His expression grew softer. “A courageous decision for you both, and I’m not surprised at all.” His warm smile disappeared after only a moment. “Keep your son out of Faerie, Jackie.”

  “Why? What are you saying?” I put down my fork, feeling slightly concerned by his comment.

  “They have big plans for him and Aedus’ daughter. A possible betrothal of course, but more than that, they want him raised as fae and not as a shifter, just as I was raised fae and not human. I looked l
ike a fae, and my people have always treated me as one of them, but I was taught nothing of my human heritage or ancestry and only learned more about it when I came to stay here with Garrett and he had dealings with humans. I would observe them and ask questions when I could. My mother was told not to tell me anything and so she hasn’t.” I could see the hurt in his eyes. “I’ve managed to dig up some information on my own, but not too much.”

  “You should ask Sinc or William to help you. They can find out a lot online, if you’re looking for any of your human ancestors.”

  His eyebrow arched in surprise and he smiled. “I will, thank you.”

  “So should we be concerned? Will they try to kidnap him?” The fae were more powerful than other supernaturals, except perhaps demons, so my question was not unreasonable.

  I was relieved to hear Liam laugh. “You’re both official allies and so no fae can interfere in your lives for any reason whatsoever. It’s quite ironic since it’s my father, who made you both allies and the Elders are the ones who are doing all the talking about Charles being raised in Faerie.” He seemed quite smug about their dilemma. “I’ve actually moved out. I don't want to participate in all the political maneuvering. ”

  This was surprising. “And where are you staying?”

  “In a hotel for now, but I’ll be getting my own house soon.” He looked excited.

  “You’ll stay here, silly.” I frowned at him, annoyed that he hadn’t immediately come to us.

  “I can’t inconvenience you and…”

  “You’ll stay upstairs in the big room with the balcony.”

  “Garrett may not want…”

  “Don’t make me hurt you!” We both grinned at each other for a moment, but then the reality of the situation hit. “I’ll feel safer with you here, Liam. I don’t understand what raising this baby here in Crescent City with Garrett will mean to the fae, and I’ll need your advice.”

  “Still, Its a little crowded...”

  “The vamps are moving into their own house in a month. And you’re here all the time anyway. And Kellaine can visit whenever she wants or she can stay here too.” I was speaking very quickly, trying so hard to get him to agree.

  He was silent for a few moments, then smiled, saying, “I’ll stay if you need me.” His tone was more subdued.

  I studied him more closely because it appeared that his earlier excitement had dissipated. He’d wanted his own place and I’d insisted that he stay with me. “I’m being selfish. I’ll help you look for a house this week. But until we find you a place, will you check out of the hotel and stay here with us?”

  His grin grew wider. “Yes, of course.”

  “You need your own space. I get that. I’m sorry for being such a…”

  He took my hand and interrupted. “Jackie, I can be here in two seconds if you need me. And as you say, I’m here all day anyway.”

  I sighed and squeezed his hand, jumping when I felt the baby kick. I saw Liam look at my belly so I placed his hand over my rounded stomach so he could feel the movement. He looked so excited when the baby danced beneath him. “We’re naming him for you too. Charles Liam Cuvier.”

  He looking genuinely moved. “I don't know what to say.”

  "That's a first." He laughed as I thought about what he’d mentioned earlier. “You know, if he doesn’t go to Faerie once in a while, then he won’t understand his fae heritage at all. That wouldn’t be right either.”

  “I’ll teach him everything he needs to know, including the language, and when he does visit Faerie, I’ll be his escort. I won’t leave his side.” He pointed at my food, which was starting to get cold, so I obediently took another forkful.

  After I swallowed I said, “You’ll be his fae sponsor?”

  I saw the excited gleam in his eye. “I will accept the honor of being Charles’ sponsor with great pleasure.” He gave a formal nod and then grinned, looking more like his usual adorable self. "It will annoy my father to no end." He winked.

  Making him my son’s sponsor instead of asking Lord Caelen, gave Liam a lot more say in the child’s upbringing if Garrett or I were out of the picture.

  I smiled mischievously, enjoying his fun. “It’s Charlie.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “Charlie, of course. I’m sure Garrett loves that.”

  “Too bad. I’m the mom.”

  He looked at me sadly. “So young to be a mother.”

  I sighed and shrugged. “Shit happens—you know—and then you just have to deal with it. And, to be honest, I don't think I've ever felt my actual age.” I looked down at my hands, feeling suddenly tired.

  “Why don’t you call Ethan when you finish your breakfast?”

  Liam knew me almost as well as Garrett. “I will. And why don’t you go get your things at the hotel, take the room upstairs and then get together with Kellaine? You could use a day off. We’re fine here. No crazy fae lords or rogue weres lurking in the trees.” I took another bite and smiled in delicious ecstasy as I chewed and swallowed.

  “Maybe I’ll take tomorrow off. You’re going out today to visit Sinc and then meet with Flynn. Garrett will be resting until around 2:30 today so I’ll stay until then. I'm already taking a week off next month and going to Carmel with Kellaine. It’s quite spectacular, right on the coast line. You two should come too. You and Kellie could get to know each other. She’s actually a lot of fun with a great sense of humor. She’s not a typical Fae Lady.”

  “Of course she isn’t. Why would you love anyone typical?” I teased him.

  "It would be good for Garrett too. He needs to put the old memories to rest and fill the place with good memories. We can help him."

  "Yes. It sounds perfect. We just have to convince him to take a whole week off, which could be tough. I did mention a vacation, but he didn't really answer me.”

  “Play the pregnancy card.”

  “What?”

  “I need to spend time with you before the baby comes and we’re never alone, etc…”

  “Liam!” I pretended to be shocked.

  “You notice that Aedus is sticking close to home, right? Last night was his first night out of Faerie in a while. Philladre is nervous and wants him around. It’s impossible to say no to a pregnant female.”

  “I guess it’s a little scary to be the first one to give birth in Cascade in seventy-five years. Do you have midwives or doctors?”

  “We have magic. She won’t feel a thing.”

  “Huh. Somehow I doubt that. You’re a typical guy sometimes, Liam.”

  He snorted out a laugh. “Charlie will come first, you know.”

  “I'll have a shifter doctor who'll deliver him in the Crescent City hospital. We spoke to him last night. We've told him everything.”

  “I’d like to be at the hospital too, if you don’t object. Just in case my father or another Elder happens to show up. I suggest that you make me his sponsor officially before he’s born. That way, I will be his representative in all fae matters."

  Is there some fae ceremony?"

  "No, you only announce it before the fae Elders, like my father did when he made you an ally. The next meeting is after Aedus' binding ceremony."

  "Good."

  "You know, he could end up a sorcerer, rather than a cheetah, if what your grandmother said was true about your father.”

  “I’ve thought about that too. But then he’d have a shorter lifespan, wouldn’t he?”

  “No, he’d be a sorcerer who was also half fae so he would live a very long life. As long as mine or my father's. He'll also be powerful, magically. And then there's the whole demon aspect which is a real wildcard. There's never been a child in our history with fae and demon blood.”

  I put down the fork again and looked in Liam’s violet eyes. “He’s not real to me yet, Liam, and it scares me to think that when he comes, I may not be able to—to love him the way he should be loved. Especially if he looks like Kennet. I might be really crappy at this whole mothering thing.” I managed
to hold back the tears, but it took some effort.

  “It will come naturally to you the moment you hold him in your arms. Kennet wasn’t born the monster he became. He was shaped that way by a father who didn't want to raise him and fostered him out to the kind of people who were concerned only with the purity of bloodlines.”

  “You knew his birth parents?

  “I have never met Finvarra . He is my grandfather."

  “I don't understand."

  Finvarra and Aine are the parents of my father and his twin sister, Fionna, the queen. Finvarra also had children by other females. Kennet and his sister were raised by his mother and another male. All of the Elders are children of Finvarra by different females."

  "They all grew up at court?"

  Liam nodded. “They asked permission of the Queen to leave and found their own Sidhe in Cascade. She granted it because as they grew more powerful, she became uncertain of her ability to hold onto her throne. She has a daughter now, who she hopes will inherit. The rest of the seelie court is made up of her sycophants, like Kennet’s mother.”

  “Why did Kennet move to Cascade with your father?”

  “There is little chance to rise in power at court, unless you are a favorite of Her Grace. Kennet had the proclivities, but not the personality. But it’s better if we don’t speak of these things. Go and make your call and I’ll clean up.” I didn’t argue with him, although his story had fascinated me, I decided to file it away to bring up again at a better time.

  Ethan was thrilled that I’d called, but his tone turned serious when I gave him the news about the baby.

  Jackie..."

  I cut him off. “Garrett and I are keeping him and naming him Charles after Garrett's father, but I want everyone to call him Charlie. You’re gonna be Uncle Ethan soon because he’s due in mid September. Fae babies grow like weeds, apparently."

  “That’s—uh—great...” I could hear the uncertainty in his voice. “The fae didn’t push you into this did they?”

  “You know that I don’t get pushed into anything."