Hush

by Amaleka McCall

  “Yeah. I was on my way there when I heard,” Tori continued with her lies.

  “Well, we need to meet right now,” Leticia demanded.

  Tori rolled her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. “I’ll be there,” she said.

  As Deidre rushed to get dressed, she looked down at her cell phone and noticed ten missed calls. Ferguson was blowing her phone up, but Deidre felt torn. Her first priority had become the F.A.B., and not the FBI

  She picked up her gun from her nightstand and looked down at her wire. She contemplated wiring up, but the sound of Chastity’s voice made her feel uneasy, therefore she decided against wearing it. Grabbing her bag, she raced out of the door.

  Amos peeked out of his front window, and with phone in hand, he dialed the number. “Yeah, she just left,” he said into the receiver.

  Deidre pulled up to Chastity’s house, and the girls were already sitting in Chastity’s vehicle. An ill feeling permeated Deidre’s stomach. She swallowed hard, put a half smile on her face, and knocked on the dark tinted window. Leticia opened the door and let her into the back seat.

  “What’s up?” Deidre asked, slightly winded. Nobody responded as Chastity pulled out.

  “. . . Why is rattin’ at an all time high? Why are you even alive? Why they kill Tupac n’ Chris? Why at the bar you ain’t take straight shots instead of poppin’ Crist? Why? Why? All that I been given is this thing that I’ve been living. They got me in the system. Why they gotta do me like that . . .”

  The Jadakiss lyrics were blasting from the speakers, and no one in the car said a word. Deidre stared out of the back passenger window. She could see the Brooklyn Bridge in the distance as the car moved closer and closer to it. Chastity, Leticia, and Tori were all unusually and unnervingly silent. She decided to test the waters and she spoke.

  “Yo, that’s my joint! Turn it up!” she yelled to no one in particular.

  “Yeah, turn it up Chazz! Those lyrics are real!” Leticia agreed, eyeing the side of Deidre’s face from the corner of her eye. She watched Deidre for the entire ride.

  Suddenly, the car came to a jolting stop. Deidre peered out of the windshield. It was dark, and the block they were on was desolate. They were right under the bridge. She looked across the street at a tan and green building with a huge sign that read “The Watchtower”. She made a mental note just in case. Her stomach churned, causing her to feel like taking a shit right there on the spot. Something just didn’t feel right. Bursting with questions, she decided to remain silent; asking a question at this point could prove deadly.

  “Get out,” Chastity instructed. Everyone exited the car almost simultaneously. Chastity left the car running.

  Deidre picked up on it and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She felt like throwing up. She could definitely feel tension. Usually being out with the girls was easy, but something was definitely different.

  Leticia walked around the back of the vehicle and went into the trunk. Deidre couldn’t see what she was doing. Tori looked nervous, as usual, and she paced back and forth, chewing on her trembling bottom lip. Chastity stood stoic. That was her usual. She never showed emotion.

  Deidre wanted desperately to look around. She had a feeling that she had been outed. She was afraid to move. She didn’t want to bring any suspicion to herself. She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans—she didn’t want the girls to see them tremble. Her heart beat painfully against her sternum. She realized that she was in dangerous company.

  “Ga’head, start walking,” Leticia said, breaking the silence.

  Tori’s eyes grew wide. “What’s going on?” she asked, the words spilling from her lips in rapid succession. No one answered. Deidre knew that whatever was about to go down it wasn’t going to be pretty.

  Chastity led the way, Tori followed, and Deidre was next. Deidre could hear Leticia’s Nike Air Max crunching the ground behind her.

  After about two minutes of walking, Chastity stopped abruptly and turned around. “A’ight, let’s get down to the shit,” she growled, moving a piece of her perfectly straight auburn hair from her eyes.

  “Yeah, DeeDee,” Leticia continued with a screw face.

  “Yo, wasup?” Deidre asked, truly confused.

  “You know what the fuck is up,” Leticia replied, moving close to Deidre’s face—so close that Deidre could smell Remy on her breath.

  “Nah, I’m lost.” Deidre said, trying her best to play it cool, her stomach contents threatening to leap up into her esophagus.

  “Basically, bitch, we wanna know what fucking academy you completed. Was it the Feds or NYPD?” Chastity retorted, moving in behind Deidre. There was nowhere to go.

  “What the fuck are ya’ll talking about? Not this bullshit again! As much as I been doing in the fucking streets, ya’ll accusing me of being a cop again?” Deidre yelled. It was either play the big bad bitch role, or die, and she knew it.

  “Ma-a-a-aybe sh-sh-sh she’s telling the truth, Chazz. C’mon, it’s DeeDee, our friend,” Tori stuttered as she nervously moved back and forth. Her nose was running nonstop. This wasn’t her type of thing. Besides, she was feeling guilty about what she had done.

  “Shut the fuck up, T-baby!” Chastity yelled.

  In one sudden motion, Leticia grabbed Deidre’s shirt and ripped it open, exposing her breasts. Deidre had no time to react and her mouth fell open. “Yo, strip!” Leticia barked.

  Deidre put up a defensive stance and yelled, “Fuck you! I don’t need this shit! Ya’ll bitches is crazy!” At that moment she realized she was still an FBI Agent and not really a part of the F.A.B. It was up to her to get out of this situation alive. Ferguson and Ricky couldn’t save her ass now.

  “She said strip!” Chastity whispered gruffly in Deidre’s ear.

  Deidre could feel the heat from Chastity’s breath moving eerily down her neck. The next thing she felt was the cold steel as the barrel of a gun she couldn’t see was placed right against her cerebellum. She slowly began removing her clothes. As soon as she pulled her jeans down, her gun fell from her waistband.

  “Looks like a fucking service weapon to me,” Leticia said, grabbing Deidre’s .357 Sig Sauer from the ground to examine it.

  “I bought that shit on the street!” Deidre said with an attitude.

  “I don’t see no wire. I’ma kill you anyway,” Chastity growled, leveling her gun at Deidre’s half-naked body.

  “Aggghhhh! Please, Chazz! Wait!” Tori screamed, jumping up and down.

  Deidre knew that Tori might be her only hope.

  Leticia grabbed Tori by her hair and slapped her so hard that blood spurted out of her mouth. “Shut the fuck up!” Leticia shouted, tossing Tori to the ground. She raised her leg and stomped on Tori’s hand, and then kicked her in the chin. Tori shrieked in pain, dizzy from the blows. Leticia continued to brutally assault Tori, while Chastity stared at Deidre, trying to gage her reaction. Nothing.

  Deidre remained silent. She knew this was a part of their test. The first rule an undercover learns is never come to the aid of a victim in the presence of the crew. Criminals know that a cop’s first instinct is to help. Deidre knew helping Tori was a sure way to blow her cover.

  Finally, Chastity interrupted Leticia’s vicious attack. “Enough, Loca!”

  Leticia immediately stopped wailing on Tori. Sweating and breathing hard, she looked like a demon possessed.

  “Now, back to you,” Leticia wolfed, smearing Tori’s blood on Deidre’s face.

  Deidre turned her head. Between her nerves and the smell of the blood, she felt vomit creeping up her throat.

  Tori lay moaning on the ground, holding her face.

  “Yo! Loca, Chazz, I’ve been nothing but loyal. Wasup with this shit?” Deidre asked, still playing the angry role.

  “Bitch, you don’t know nothing about death before dishonor! Now, what fucking academy did you go through?” Chastity asked as she pulled back the hammer on the chrome snub nose .38 revolver special.
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  Deidre swallowed hard. This was not how she pictured herself dying. Six years of service to the federal government, and she was about to die on a dirty, desolate block in Brooklyn, New York, all alone. “Yo, I’m standing here, half-naked with no wire! I’m telling you, I’m not a fucking cop!” Deidre screamed. It was her last ditch effort to save her life.

  “A’ight, if you’re not a fed or a cop, then I got a job for you,” Chastity said, calmly lowering her weapon.

  “Anything!” Deidre pleaded.

  “You need to kill for the F.A.B. It’s death before dishonor,” Leticia cut in, stepping into Deidre’s personal space menacingly.

  “Whatever you want me to do,” Deidre replied. She would really do anything to stay alive.

  “Remember I told you that I never trust outside bitches?” Chastity asked, pursing her lips.

  “Yeah,” Deidre responded.

  “Well, sometimes inside bitches can’t be trusted either,” Chastity said, turning her sights on Tori.

  “You see this snitch right here? She ain’t got no loyalty or honor!” Leticia screamed through clenched teeth, tears streaming her face as she walked over and grabbed Tori up off of the ground by her hair.

  “Aggghhhh!” Tori screamed, placing her hands on top of Leticia’s, trying to keep Leticia from ripping her hair out.

  “Wait. What’s going on?” Deidre asked, looking around.

  “Basically, we are killing two birds with one stone. If you ain’t a cop, then you will kill this snitch bitch right here. If you refuse, then you and the snitch gonna die,” Chastity announced.

  “What?” Deidre asked, buying time.

  “Tell her, T-baby. Tell DeeDee what you did,” Leticia snarled, wiping away tears.

  “Ple-e-e-ease! What about Akayla?” Tori pleaded through blood and tears.

  “Bitch! You think I didn’t know you was fucking Duke? Yeah, I knew. You think I didn’t know you were stealing drugs and money from me, and that you was getting high? That’s why I was telling Coral your business. Bitch, you ain’t fit to be a mother. You ain’t fit to be a person! You’re weak, fat, ugly, and stupid!” Chastity yelled, spitting in Tori’s face.

  “Ohhhh God!” Tori screamed like someone gut punched her. Her heart was breaking. She couldn’t believe her ears. Chastity knew all along that she was betraying her crew.

  “Your man, Duke, also found out that it was you that had the Candy Shop raided! After all me and Loca did for your sorry ass over the years! We took you from nothing!” Chastity screamed.

  “Chazz, please don’t do this! I’m sorry! I was trying to get Akayla back! I need you and Loca! Ple-e-e-ease give me another chance!” Tori groveled.

  “Shut the fuck up! You wasn’t thinking about us when you fucking snitched!” Leticia screamed, punching Tori in her stomach.

  “And you, DeeDee. Where’d you get that car from?” Chastity asked, looking at Deidre evilly.

  Deidre was thrown off guard for a second. “Umm, my car?” she responded.

  “Yeah, bitch, your car!” Chastity yelled.

  “I had one of my runners in D.C. get it at a seizure auction,” Deidre replied, thinking quickly on her feet. Why are they asking about my car? she thought to herself.

  “Yo, this is taking too long. Let’s get this shit over with,” Leticia cut in.

  “Ple-e-e-ease!” Tori squealed. She knew her girls well enough to know what her fate was going to be.

  “Here,” Chastity said, handing Deidre the gun. “Mirk this bitch or get mirked,” she demanded.

  Deidre’s heart beat so hard, she felt like she would pass out. She placed her sweaty palms around the handle of the gun. Its do or die, she said to herself. She immediately thought about her mother. She knew that Cassandra would have nothing to live for if she died. She thought about Ricky and

  R.J. Deidre wondered if R.J. knew about this all along. Tears welled up in her eyes and her lips quivered. She was in too deep. She had put herself in this position.

  “Kill her now!” Leticia screamed, snapping Deidre out of her trance. “No-o-o-o! Ple-e-e-ease!” Tori screamed, placing her hands together to beg for her life. Deidre raised the gun and pointed it at Tori. Her hands shook uncontrollably, and she held her breath. “Ple-e-e-ease, DeeDee! DeeDee, don’t do it!” Tori begged for mercy at the top of her lungs. There was no one else around to hear her.

  Deidre grit her teeth and fought back tears. She couldn’t stand to look at Tori.

  “Do it or die!” Chastity screamed.

  “Death before dishonor!” Deidre screamed, closed her eyes and pulled the trigger.

  “Bang!” One shot hit Tori dead in the center of her chest. Her body instantly crumpled to the ground like a deflated air balloon.

  Leticia turned away, and punched at the air as tears soaked her face. As hard as she was, she was heartbroken over Tori’s murder.

  Deidre threw the gun down, turned her face away, bent over and threw up. Her heart raced, and her entire body was soaked with sweat.

  Chastity just stood there looking down at Tori’s lifeless body. “Death before dishonor. DeeDee, my nigga, I knew you wasn’t a cop,” she said, bursting out laughing.

  Deidre stood up and rushed to put her clothes back on. After gathering herself mentally, she started walking back towards Chastity’s vehicle.

  Leticia stood over Tori’s body, sobbing like a baby. “C’mon,” Chastity demanded.

  “We can’t just leave her here like this!” Leticia yelled.

  “The bitch was a snitch. Let’s go!” Chastity screamed, with no emotion behind her words.

  Deidre looked at Chastity, and out of nowhere, she took off running. She ran and ran, until she couldn’t run anymore. She needed to get away . . . she wanted out.

  VOLUME 19: THE FEDS

  Deidre sprawled across the king size bed in Suite 211, at the Crowne Plaza Suites, staring blankly at the ceiling.

  After the murder, she went to her apartment, gathered a few things—most importantly, her father’s key and some cash. Each time she closed her eyes, she envisioned Tori’s face. She thought back on all of the days she had accompanied Tori to her visits with Akayla. She also thought about

  R.J. non-stop, and several times she picked up her cell phone to call him, but stopped herself.

  She thought about Ricky, Ferguson, and Bernard. She knew for a fact that they would have the undercover recovery team out searching for her. She hadn’t returned any of their calls to her cell phone, nor had she returned any of her mother’s phone calls to her private cell phone. Deidre was one of the feds, and that reality hit her as soon as she pulled the trigger and committed a senseless murder. She wasn’t ever really a part of the F.A.B., she just thought she was.

  She reached over and grabbed the bottle of Grey Goose vodka from the nightstand and took it to the head. The drink went down smoothly, but burned at the end, and she beat her chest to help ease the burn. Feeling relaxed, she eased herself back on the soft pillows.

  “Knock! Knock!” Deidre looked over at the door, and then looked down at her gun. She ignored the knocks.

  “Housekeeping!” a female voice called out.

  “Go away!” Deidre slurred. She waited a few minutes, and when she was sure the housekeeper was, gone she dragged her feet over to the door, gun in hand, opened it slightly, and retrieved the daily newspaper from the floor. The front-page headline read:

  “Police Officer Found Dead in Brooklyn Apartment”

  There was a huge picture of Officer Duke on the front page. Deidre turned to page five of the paper to read the full story. She looked at the familiar face of the officer, and remembered seeing him a few times at the Candy Shop. On the page next to his story was an article about Tori’s murder. The last line of the article read that a partial print was found on the murder weapon.

  Deidre threw the paper across the room. She couldn’t read anymore.

  “What the fuck do you mean you can’t find her?” Ricky screamed, his pale f
ace turning beet-burgundy.

  “She was supposed to meet with Ferguson, but she never showed up,” Bernard replied nervously.

  “You and fucking Ferguson better find her, or else!” Ricky threatened.

  Bernard touched the gun in his pocket. He wanted so badly to take it out and shoot Ricky right in his face. Instead, he turned on his heels and walked out of Ricky’s office.

  Bernard hadn’t been the same since the murder of Amber Reeves. The nightmares were uncontrollable. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the girl’s face when he cut her fingers off; the severe pain etched in every crease of her skin. Now he was afraid that Ricky was going to finally give up on finding the missing money and just kill Deidre.

  Bernard had contemplated suicide several times. He was into the crooked federal fold too deep, and there was only one way out now. All of the murders were mounting, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. First, he needed to save Deidre.

  Bernard settled into his car and retrieved his secret cell phone. He dialed Deidre’s private cell phone number, knowing that she wouldn’t recognize the number.

  Deidre looked down at her private cell phone. She had never seen the number before. The first thing that came to mind was that her mother had gotten drunk, fell out somewhere, and someone was contacting her to come pick Cassandra up. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Reluctantly, Deidre picked up the line. “Hello,” she whispered.

  “Aponte, it’s me. Don’t hang up!” Bernard rushed the words out.

  “What do you want?” Deidre asked. She knew she was in trouble.

  “I don’t want to talk to you about your disappearing. There is something going on. I need to meet with you right away,” Bernard said.

  “I don’t fucking trust you. What do you know?” Deidre asked, paranoid about Tori’s murder.

  “It’s about your father,” Bernard blurted out. He knew that would get Deidre’s attention.

  “What about my father?” Deidre asked, softening her tone.

  “He didn’t commit suicide. Those girls didn’t kidnap Amber Reeves, and you were set up to go undercover so you could be murdered,” Bernard rushed the words out of his mouth.