A Lover's Lament

by K. L. Grayson

  This girl fucking owns me.

  “I’m not fucking with you,” she says, her eyes hooded. “I miss you.” I can see her hand slide down and out of view, and a crimson flush slowly creeps up her neck. Her eyes are burning with desire and it’s sexy as hell. I fucking want her. “I’m all alone, and I want you inside me so bad that it actually fucking hurts.” Her words send surges of pleasure through my body.

  “Fuck, baby.” My words are hushed as I’m overtaken by a desperate need to be inside of her. To take all of her and look into her eyes, knowing that from here on out, I will be the one and only man to have her. “Do you know how fucking bad I want you? Do you know how much you creep into my thoughts, and my dreams, and my subconscious? You’re my addiction, Katie.”

  She moans and her arm moves, but I can’t see what she’s doing and it’s driving me crazy. I can see through her shirt that she’s not wearing a bra, and the outline of her nipples is making my cock ache. “I should be punished for taking up so much of your time,” she says, her tongue darting out and running a path along her lower lip. “What will you do to me, Dev? What’s my punishment?”

  Son of a bitch. I didn’t know she had this in her. Usually I’m the one doing the dirty talk, not her. My sweet angel has the mouth of a devil.

  “Well, that all depends on how bad you’ve been.” I shoot her a smirk, more than willing to play with her.

  “Oh, I’ve been very, very bad …” Her words linger, and before I know it, I’ve pulled my dick out and into my hands. I don’t stroke it immediately but rub the tip, imagining it’s Katie’s tongue teasing me before she takes all of me into her mouth.

  “Fuck, Katie.” I moan, the heat of the moment getting me all sorts of riled up. Suddenly, all thoughts of punishment fly from my head because I just want to fucking see her. My face pinches tight, and she must notice my struggle because she slips a hand to her breast and takes one of her nipples between two fingers, tugging at it lightly from the outside of her shirt.

  A low growl rips from my chest. The sound seems to spur her on because she scoots her chair back to expose her other hand, which is lodged in her panties. The temperature in the room feels a hundred degrees hotter and my heart slams in my chest.

  “I want to see you, baby.” I motion for her to take her shirt off and wait impatiently for her to do so.

  She puts one finger up and shakes it. “I don’t think so, Sergeant Clay. I want to see you first. And by you, I mean Hector Sanchez.” I burst out in laughter as the memory of the name overwhelms me. She asked me what I called my dick one time, and I jokingly told her Hector Sanchez. For some reason, it stuck.

  She’s laughing too now, but it doesn’t kill the mood because that laugh is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. The curves of her neck move elegantly, causing her nipples to tease me from inside her shirt.

  “Okay, I show you Hector, and then I get to see the ladies.”

  “Deal.” She winks, removing her hand from her panties—damn!—and taking the bottom of her shirt in both hands. She holds it there, not lifting just yet, waiting for me to show the goods. I scoot the office chair back to expose my dick, and when she smiles, I begin lightly stroking. She completes the deal by pulling off the t-shirt, an old Nirvana one of mine that she stole in Pittsburgh, and tosses it to the floor. Her perfect tits sit like tear drops, her nipples perky and willing me to suck them.

  “Fuck, baby. I love your body so much.” I slide my other hand up my shirt and rub my tightening abs as I continue to stroke my rock-hard cock. Katie takes both nipples into her hands and pulls at them, looking seductively at me, her mouth a perfect O. Her breath is choppy.

  “I want to feel you, baby. I want every part of you, and I want to take you over and over and over again.”

  “Mmmm, what else?” She shifts one of her hands down to her panties and slips it inside, her other hand still working her nipple.

  “I want you to start slow. Tease me with your lips and tongue like you always do. Make me ache to feel you, your mouth, your pussy, everything.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” It’s all she can manage because she has her panties yanked to the side and, fuck me, she’s playing with her swollen clit. Her skin is flush with pleasure, and it takes every ounce of control I have to not explode on the spot.

  “Trace a pathway all over my body with your lips. Push me until I just can’t take it anymore, and then take all of me into your mouth. Make me beg to be inside you.” I’m fucking dying. My cock is throbbing in my hand, and I can feel my release just below the surface.

  “I want you to take me,” she whimpers, her hand picking up speed. “I can’t take it anymore; I want you to fuck me, Dev.”

  “Fuck, yes, Katie. When I’m about to explode because the desire has built up so much, I’ll take you by the arm and toss you to the mattress. I’ll tear the clothes from your body, taking all of you in before kissing every inch of you. I want to feel your soft skin against my lips. I want to make your tight little body quiver beneath me. I’ll lightly nibble from your neck to your stomach to the inside of your thigh, taking the flesh between my teeth before slowly moving to your clit. I’ll lick it softly, letting you thrust your hips against me, getting it just how you like it.”

  “Fuck me, God, please fuck me. I need you inside me,” she moans, her body writhing.

  I’m caught up in the moment now, working my shaft rapidly and taking in the perfection that’s playing before me. I can feel a buzz at the base of my shaft gaining momentum, preparing for climax. I move my hand faster, trying to line up my orgasm with hers.

  She throws her head back and moans, her body arching up and out of the seat. The sight of her sends shudders through my body, blood rages through my veins and—

  The communications door bursts open.

  Navas barrels in and then stops abruptly, his jaw nearly hitting the floor. He shields his eyes with an arm at the same time my orgasm slams into me, the force of it and his interruption nearly causing me to fall from my chair.

  “What the fuck?” I yell, looking at the computer as I shove my dick in my pants. Katie has somehow managed to cover herself, and she’s watching the screen with a look of complete horror on her face.

  “Fuck, man, I’m sorry. Shit’s going down … I … fuck,” Navas stammers. “I didn’t know you’d be doing that. Sorry, man.” He’s trying not to laugh, but I can tell by his tone and the look in his eyes that there’s something much, much bigger going on. I rise to my feet and lean in close to the computer.

  “Baby, I’ll call you soon, okay?”

  “Uh … okay.” She looks torn between being completely embarrassed and concerned about what’s going on, but she knows now is not the time to ask.

  “I love you, Kit Kat, with all my heart.” Navas steps outside to give us a moment alone.

  “Forever and always?” she asks.

  “Forever and always.”

  “I love you, too,” she says before the screen goes black. I log off the computer and meet Navas outside the door.

  “You fucking cock! You ever heard of knocking?” I punch him hard on the arm.

  “I’m sorry. I was rushing and wasn’t thinking. It’s just …” He trails off and looks to the operations center then back at me.

  “What’s up, dude? What’s going on?”

  “Just come to the Ops Center with me, man. Whole squad is in there. Something went down with Adams’ convoy.” Fear strikes me dead in the chest and the worst images flood my mind.

  “What do you mean? They just set out like forty minutes ago.” I follow Navas as he leads me to the operations center, where I see my guys nervously hunched over the radio.

  “The other two trucks on his patrol got out to the scene and they’re sending the info in now. Captain Kendricks wanted me to get all the guys ready ‘cause we’re probably going out.”

  “What do you mean ‘got to the scene’? Why weren’t they together?”

  “I don’t know. They literally just reached
out to report it. Apparently, they’re still trying to figure out what happened.” I have no idea what’s going on or how the vehicles could’ve gotten separated. I turn my focus to the radio, which sits silent for a moment before relaying the message.

  “Three KIA, one MIA, RPG rounds and small arms fire. No sign of enemy combatants. Over.” Three KIA, one MIA. The words catch me off-guard. Please tell me I didn’t just hear that. Tavares lifts the radio headset to his ear and clicks the button.

  “Names of KIA, MIA? Over.”

  “Akers, Fields, Dixon, KIA … Adams MIA,” the voice over the radio says, struggling to remain composed. Adams and Dixon’s faces pop into my head, and I can’t help but feel terrible for everything I’ve ever thought or spoken about either one of them. This isn’t the first time I’m hearing about the death of a fellow soldier, but it never gets any easier. It’s like an out-of-body experience; you’re there, but well beyond the realm of understanding. You want to believe that if you convince yourself it isn’t real, maybe it will be the truth.

  The news forces me into a seat. Thomas walks quickly out of the room, and I know exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to do what all of us wish we could do right now and that’s cry our fucking eyes out.

  Captain Kendricks grabs the headset from Tavares and pulls it to his mouth.

  “Gator 2 Charlie, what in the hell happened out there? Over.” He is furious, and rightfully so.

  “Lieutenant Dixon’s truck was pulling security on a bridge and we were on the other side behind cover, waiting for word from them on our next movements. The vehicles not being together was Lieutenant Dixon’s call, Sir. Over.” Captain Kendricks squeezes the headset tightly between his hands, and it looks as if he could just about crush it into tiny bits.

  “And what happened next? Over.”

  “We didn’t immediately know where the attack was coming from, Sir. We didn’t have eyes on Lieutenant Dixon’s truck and we were waiting on them to give us directions. Over.”

  “And when you finally did decide to move your ass and react to contact, what did you find? Over.”

  “No enemy combatants, Sir. Partially destroyed Humvee, RPG and small arms fire, and the three KIA and one MIA. Over.”

  “Roger. You keep your asses there and don’t move. Over.” Captain Kendricks throws the headset to the ground and Tavares scrambles to retrieve it.

  “Sergeant Clay,” Captain Kendricks calls out, and I rise to my feet. “Get your men together and prepare for mission. Have Staff Sergeant Baker’s squad go with you.”

  “Roger that, Sir.”

  I gather my men and we make our way back to the tent without a word spoken between us. It’s not like there’s anything to say in this moment. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. Some make it home still breathing. Others make it home in flag-draped coffins. These are the days I wish I could forget.

  “She Is Love”—Parachute

  SODA SPEWS FROM MAGGIE’S MOUTH, her eyes as wide as they can get, and she busts up in a full-blown belly laugh. “Oh my God! That’s fucking hilarious.”

  “No, it’s not.” I shake my head, lips pursed, wondering why in the world I thought it was a good idea to tell my best friend about last night’s webcam mishap. “It was horrifying. I was completely mortified.”

  “Who cares?” she says, waving me off as she wipes the tears from her face. “That is classic, and you’re going to laugh about it for years to come.”

  “No, I won’t,” I say flatly.

  She shrugs and then falls into another fit of laughter. “Fine. I will.”

  “I hate you.”

  “Don’t hate me. I’m not the one that coaxed you into getting naked in front of a computer screen.”

  Yeah, I left out the part that I was the one doing the coaxing. She may be my BFF, but there are definitely things that are better left unsaid.

  “Can we please talk about something else? This is starting to make me pissy.” Plus, I’ve got something much bigger on my mind, and if I don’t tell somebody, I’ll probably burst.

  “Fine,” she says, taking a bite of the cinnamon roll sitting in front of her. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “I think I’m pregnant.” I have absolutely no control over my mouth today and the words fall out before I give them permission.

  For the second time in less than five minutes, I watch Maggie spew something all over my kitchen table—only this time it isn’t soda, it’s her cinnamon roll. “WHAT? What do you mean you think you’re pregnant?”

  “I mean, I haven’t had my period and I never miss my period … ever.”

  “But you’re on birth control, right?”

  “Yes! That’s what I don’t understand. My periods have been regular since starting it years ago, so there’s no other explanation.”

  Maggie’s mouth opens and then shuts as she absorbs what I’m saying. “Okay, there could easily be another explanation.”

  “And what exactly would that be?”

  “I don’t know! I’m still thinking …” She rubs a hand over her head and looks down for several beats before looking up again. “Do your boobs hurt? Do you feel sick? Did you take a test? You should take a test.” Her questions come out too fast, and I have to think about my answers for a second before responding.

  “Yes. No. Kind of.”

  Maggie’s brows furrow as she presumably lines up my answers to her questions. “What do you mean kind of? You either took a test or you didn’t. It’s a yes or no answer.”

  “I didn’t pee on a stick, if that’s what you’re asking. But I called Dr. Bray’s office and they told me to stop the birth control and come in for a blood test, which I did first thing this morning.”

  “Annnnd …” Maggie is watching me, eyes wide, waiting for an answer that’s going to disappoint her.

  “They’re supposed to call me this afternoon.” As if right on cue, my phone rings, and Maggie and I both stare at it.

  “Answer it,” she says, shoving it in my direction.

  “What if I’m pregnant?”

  “You won’t know if you don’t answer the damn phone.” Maggie snags my cell from the table and flips it open. “Hello … yes, she’s right here.”

  She hands me the phone and I slowly bring it to my ear. My heart is hammering inside my chest, and blood is rushing past my ears so fast that I’m a little worried I won’t even hear her … in fact, I might very well pass out.

  “Hello?” My voice cracks and I swallow hard.

  “Hi, Katie, it’s Stephanie from Dr. Bray’s office. Is this a good time?”

  Well, that depends on what you have to tell me. “Yes. Did you get my results back?” That was fast, I think to myself. I suck in a breath, waiting for her answer, and when I hear the words “Congratulations, you’re pregnant” float through the line, I nearly drop the phone.

  “I—I don’t understand,” I stammer. “How did this happen?” I shake my head, realizing how stupid that sounds. “Of course I know how it happened, but I was on birth control … and I know it isn’t always effective but … wow … okay … I’m pregnant.”

  “It’s a lot to take in, and yes, these things happen. But Dr. Bray said to call her if you have any questions at all.”

  Okay… I nod to myself. I can do this … we can do this. “Wait!” I blurt. “I know this sounds stupid, and I’m a nurse and should probably know, but up until yesterday, I’d been taking the birth control. Will that affect the baby?”

  “It’s not a stupid question,” she says before easing my mind. “You and the baby should both be fine, but Dr. Bray wants you to come back into the office for a checkup in two weeks.”

  My mind drifts toward Devin, and whatever else she was saying falls to the wayside. What will he think about this? Will he be excited? We just got back together … will he be ready for a baby?

  Am I ready for a baby?

  “You don’t have a choice.” Maggie snaps the phone shut and I look up. “Don’t worry,” she
says, “you went off into la la land, so I took the phone and wrote everything else down.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper. Looking down, I stare at my still flat stomach and touch it gently.

  There’s a life growing inside there.

  A tiny little life that is half Devin and half me.

  Tears well up in my eyes. “I’m having a baby,” I say, nearly choking on the words. “I’m going to be a mother.”

  Maggie’s arms wrap around me. “You are going to be the best damn mother.”

  “You think?” I ask, turning to her with a tremulous smile.

  “I know it. Congratulations, mama. Now you just have to tell the daddy … and just so I’m on the right page, the daddy is Devin, right?”

  “Yes!” I half shriek and half laugh as I slap her across the arm.

  “Okay,” she says, holding her hands up in the air. “I had to check. I mean, I figured, but you never mentioned Devin forgetting to shield the dragon.”

  “Shield the dragon? Where in the hell do you come up with this stuff?”

  “Never mind,” she says, rolling her eyes. “So, I need to know when you’re telling Devin and when you’re telling your mom, because this is going to be a really hard secret to keep.”

  “Maggie,” I warn, giving her my best authoritative eye. Good to start practicing now, right? “You can’t tell anyone, at least not until I give you the okay. Got it?”

  “I’ll do my best, but promise that you’ll tell him soon, because … well, you know how I get when I’m excited about something.”

  “I’ll tell him soon, I promise. We’re schedule to webcam again in a couple of minutes anyway.”

  Maggie’s eyes light up. “I’m totally sticking around for this.”

  “What? No, you’re not sticking around.”

  “Is there any chance of some sexy times? Because if so, I’m sticking around for this. That boy of yours is fucking delicious, and I’d love to walk in and catch him naked on the screen.”

  “Trust me,” I say, laughing, “there won’t be any more on-screen sexy times for a very long time. Now leave,” I say, chuckling as I tug her up from her chair, spin her around and guide her toward the door.